Illogical Contraption
333 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 5 years ago - ★★★★★ - 89 ratingsHEAVY METAL. CONSPIRACY THEORIES. SCI-FI. COMEDY. HORROR. MORE HEAVY METAL. LIVE EVERY SUNDAY 6-8pm ON RADIOVALENCIA.FM!
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Episodes
The Last Will and Testament of Illogical Contraption Radio
December 10, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourOur final broadcast. The last of the cloacians. Thanks for listening, everybody. Love, Cory, Shelby, Sara, Erik and Al.
Five Golden Dings
December 03, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourIt's the PENULTIMATE episode! Cory gets into his rules of pissing. Why do we square dance at school? Shelby's controversial Bitmoji. Voicemails! Christmas music from Thor, Jimmy Buffet and Twisted Sister. Siqq Piqqs - SIQQEST PIQQS. Plus way more shit! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
Florist of Blitzkrieg
November 30, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourIt's the 3rd to last episode EVER! Listener submitted Hits and Shits. Emails galore! Tony Molina is in studio! Al takes on Jeopardy questions. Jiminy Glick in Lalawood is the best movie ever made! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
FEEDING GOD'S METER
November 12, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourCalifornia is on fire again and the gang is bummed. Things are looking grim until about 6:15 or so, when Kaseem Bentley shows up and makes a bunch of insensitive jokes and makes everyone cry from laughter. Also featured: Al's gaming habits and the final Good Times movie, 1986's Never Too Young To Die. Join us. Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
The Nightmare Before Paradise
November 05, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourAl calls in with The Philly Report. Sara enters the Bad Mom-iverse. Shelby sees Mandy. Erik and Cory see Suspiria. Buckcherry covers Nine Inch Nails. We Hit or Shit the Trop 40 Trop Rock hits. Two Lane Blacktop is reviewed. Plus A REALLY HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
Erik's Haunted Houseboat
October 29, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourErik, Shelby, and Al are joined once again by San Jose's most hated band, Sad Vicious, aboard Erik's spooky houseboat for a Halloween celebration of ghoulish proportions. Complaints about Stu's weed, discussions about the importance of voting, and all manner of nautical hilarity ensue. Also contained herein: pop country Hit or Shit and Good Times With Guys And Gals: 1950's Sunset Boulevard! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
Color Commentary
October 15, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourAn old friend joins us for a check in via Skype! An Al Sports themed Hit or Shit! Mandy chat! A poetry based listener voicemail! And then Kaseem Bentley comes is and is all sorts of offensive. Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
Dog Court
October 09, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourThe Core Four Minus Cory discuss the ethics of canine jurisprudence in the court of paw, followed by a brand new segment: Reviewin' Cities (feat. Austin, TX)! Siqq sick day movies, a brief waterskiing jaunt, and horses on acid! Good Times With Guys And Gals: Local Hero (1983) and Siqq Piqq: Halloween! This one really goes beyond the black Rambo! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
Burrito Ranch
October 01, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourCory, Al and Sara are joined by our friend Nicole Dunn to discuss Judas Priest. We Hit or Shit some recent slam releases on New Standard Elite Records. Peaches Christ calls in to talk about her new immersive haunted house, TERROR VAULT. Siqq Piqqs: Dads! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
The Nambler
September 17, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourThe “How-To Comedy” Correspondence Course is in session. Erik is a Movie Montage Master. Name a basketball player! Fake banana flavor: childhood traumas. Good Times With Guys And Gals: Sonatine! Siqq Piqqs: Remakes! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
People For The Ethical Treatment of Al
September 10, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourA recap of Enter the Boog III: Boog of Shadows, Ill Con's annual boogie boarding competition against our arch rivals Sad Vicious. Listener Colin is in studio discussing international fast food options. A new joyful movie segment is introduced. 8th grade fashion tips. PLUS! Al Sports, fighting yoga bros in kimonos and a dog based Siqq Piqq. Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
PUTLOCKER AND CRY
August 28, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourDid you know Erik is a Master Detective? Did you know Sara is a train enthusiast? Did you know Al fucking HATES Werther's Originals? Or that Shelby hates fun and laughter? (You probably already knew that one.) All these dark, dark secrets revealed, plus 2001: A Space Odyssey Chat, Listener Emails, 9 1/2 Weeks: Fatal Instinct, Breen On Screen with Parker, and Siqq Piqqs: Parodies. A thrill a minute for approximately 120 minutes! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
FAT SLENDERMAN vs ANGEL COP
August 20, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourPizzagate with a side of creepypasta. A nude Ted Nugent hunts you through the labyrinthine forests of the Scott BaioDome. Rating Pepperidge Farms. Adults in pajamas and the dangers thereof. Los Angeles is a character. Elf-porn pop-up ads. Yoga men. Significant Picknificant: stuff we stole. Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
TURN IT AROUND with TONY MOLINA
August 06, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourThe crew goes deep with fan favorite singer/songwriter Tony Molina, covering everything from Eric Clapton conspiracy theories to West Bay music history, ax-weilding black metallers to Red Robin employment, music documentary do's and dont's to social media addiction, and wingnut YouTube content to gentrification. This is literally a journey to the meaty center of Tony's brain. Buy his new album immediately. Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
Overrated Ramen
July 30, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourOur old pal Kaseem Bentley is in studio to tell us about his adventures in Hollywood! We learn about Soundcloud rappers. Listener voicemails are responded to! Chain restaurants and summer camp movies are Siqq Piqq’d! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
BURNING DOWN THE APPLEBEE'S
July 23, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourThe Pee Three descend on Radio Valencia Studios to discuss Tom DeLonge, Elon Musk, and Trader Joe's bathrooms. This week's erotic thriller is 1993's Snapdragon, followed by a very special Peen On Screen with Parker! Did you know Shelby has an impersonation of every single US president ever? Did you know you have to wash a boat AFTER it's been in the water? Also: IllCon Siqq Piqqs - IllCon Sibb Piqqs! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
Quack in Black
July 09, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourThe Goofy Pals are pooped after last night's live show. An in depth Cruise News with listeners Chris and Kyle in studio. Al breaks it down during Taco Time. Jim Wynorski's Sorceress II: The Temptress is rated. Siqq Piqqs: DETECTIVES! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
Boston, Queen, And Aliens
July 02, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourThe gang rings in summertime with an ashy, smoke-filled, hazy round of Hit or Shit. Sara's got a Says Science Quiz, summer jams are Siqq Piqq'ed, and 9 1/2 Weeks continues with the erotic stylings of 1994's Animal Instincts 2. What will white people ruin next? Is Boston the tightest band of all time? Dude. Dude. Dude. Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
Antififa
June 25, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourOld pal Eva VonBlut joins us in studio as we go DEEP on DEPP. Is it cool to listen to a band lead by a dude that tried to kill his wife? Erik gives us a recipe for CLEAN CLAMS. Listener Mandee joins us for 9 1/2 Weeks of Erotic Thrillers as we examine 1994 Golden Raspberry winner for Worst Movie, The Color of Night starring Bruce Willis and his Lil' Bruno. Parker Bowman brings us a new episode of this Summer's hottest micro podcast PEEN ON SCREEN! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650...
Sex Chess
June 21, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourWe’re Talking Dead – The Grateful Dead with comedian Phil Hanley! Kevin Moss from Junk Food Dinner joins us for 9 1/2 Weeks of Erotic Thrillers as we review Fatal Desire and I Like To Play Games. We get a peek into the kitchens of Shelby and Sara for some piping hot cooking tips! Al tells us how to make a meatball in the shape of the continental US of A. PLUS the second installment of Parker Bowman’s micro-podcast PEEN ON SCREEN! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
The Erik Tape
June 11, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourHey now, weenie wackers! It's the second installment of 9 1/2 Weeks of Erotic Thrillers as the goofy pals and Andre from DEATHGRAVE take on 1987's Lady Beware starring Diane Lane and her really good pair of coworkers. It's a Bay Area championship edition of Al's Sports. Cory takes us through the legendary phone call between two stoned So Cal heshers known as The Derek Tape. Famous podcaster PARKER BOWMAN debuts his new micropodcast PEEN ON SCREEN! Siqq Piqqs: LOST MEDIA! Email us: illconradio...
The Twiddle Diddle
May 28, 2018 13:30 - 1 hour9 1/2 WEEKS of Erotic Thrillers begins with the cuck cop classic, Animal Instincts. All the music news you can use. Al calls in from an island paradise. More Trop Rock? Ugh. Siqq Piqqs: CONCEPT ALBUMS YOU'D LIKE TO SEE AS A MOVIE. Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
The Last Temptation of Jim Jim Buffs
May 21, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourSA jam packed episode full of food, folks and fun. Shelby brings us a bunch of snacks from Pittsburgh, PA! Erik does a conspiracy round up. Sara stands in line for NIN tickets and AL'S SPORTS PICKS are back! We listen to the TOP TROP ROCK songs about Jim Jim Buffs. Siqq Piqqs: Celebrity Cameos in Music Videos! Email us: [email protected] Call us: (650) 898-7277
The Mommyknockers
May 14, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourSiqq BBQ chili dog hangout times with Shelby, Erik, and Sara as they weigh the pros (sandwiches) and cons (getting arrested at Kennywood) of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania! Ten tiers of conspiracy theories, team-building activities, a brand new Says Science quiz, and laffs galore (actually a pretty average number of laughs). In honor of Mother's Day, the pals Siqq Piqq the siqqest moms!Email us [email protected] CALL US! 650-898-7277
Stanmans Revenge
April 30, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourAl! Shelby! Erik! Sara! Cory! Shelby's son Calvyn! They all saw them Infinity Wars! We Hit or Shit some serious metal including the new album from KingCobraJFS. Cory buys some celebrity well wishes for the gang. The end of SANDMAN'S REVENGE is finally here. Is Big Stan too much for the Goofy Pals to handle? Scott from Sad Vicious talks soup and TV themes are Siqq Piqq'd for the 1000th time. Email us [email protected] CALL US! 650-898-7277
The Rockin 1000
April 23, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourWe got a rockin ass MUSIC NEWS segment with listener Mandee sitting in the Shelby Chair. Al Sports gives you the picks of the week. New segment alert: ASK ERIK ANYTHING! SIQQ PIQQS - Sicknesses! Email us [email protected]
Stop Making Art (Bell)
April 16, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourThe great Art Bell has left our mortal plane and we send him off with a bang. Adam Papagan calls in to discuss Outsider Music! Sara brings us a quiz! We talk scams and pyramid schemes for SIQQ PIQQS. Email us [email protected]
Pony Molina
April 09, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourShelby treats us to a rousing game of Homuncu-Truth or Homuncu-Lie! Director Cory McAbee calls in to tell us about his new space seminar and reveals how he found that guy that dances in the bathroom in his film The American Astronaut! Cory parties with some bronies! A very divisive SANDMAN'S REVENGE as we tackle 2014's GOD'S NOT DEAD. A very claustrophobic SIQQ PIQQ! Email us [email protected]
Men Behind The Sun 2: The Big Balloon Adventure
April 02, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourBuckle up for a thrill ride as the pals coast through an Easter weekend BBQ, into a piping-hot and totally unique Movie News segment, past Sandman's Revenge, and headlong into a fun new game: LIMP HOT ICE CLOWN. Longtime buddy Kona stops by in the second hour to breeze through a kid's stuff-themed Siqq Piqq, as well as a brief discussion on ghoul movies and a historical lesson on the horrors of Unit 731. Email us [email protected]
Bononucleosis
March 25, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourBlack metal pedophiles, Emo rappers and a secret Scott Stapp project! Shelby gets dad mad at Facebook's privacy issues. Sandman's Revenge gets sucka free and a concert themed Siqq Piqqs. Email us [email protected]
Tropkick Murphys
March 19, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourGet yourself a Corona with a slice of lime and put on your funny lookin' hat. We're getting tropical and going deep with some Troprock about Troprock. No more soup chat? Never fear. Sara's salads are discussed in depth. Sandman's Revenge is coming in hot with a somber Sandler cancer movie. Siqq Piqqs: Favorite Flops! Email us [email protected]
300!
March 12, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourIt's the 300th episode of Illogical Contraption Radio on 3-11! Is it time to end Soup Chat? We reminisce on past moments of RADIO MAGIC. Shelby sits through BOYHOOD for SANDMAN'S REVENGE. Email us [email protected]
Rare Australian Long Schlong
March 05, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourALAN JACKSON sends us the final tracks for the 5 Way This Is Slam Country Split EP! Tommy from Albany sits in. Al talks FOOD COMBOS. Cory and Erik have some MUSIC NEWS. Sara makes Shelby miserable on Sandman's Revenge. AND MORE DRIPPING WET SOUP TALK. Email us [email protected]
LEFT HAND PITH
February 26, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourThe squad settles in to Hit or Shit another batch of Chattahoochee Records slammers, as well as Siqq Piqq'ing creepy movie locations. ALSO: Al Sports - Olympic Women's Hockey Edition, Sandman's Revenge, "The Ritual", The Week In Soup, "Burnt Offerings", Shelby's "urban explorations", and a dark secret from Erik's past... Revealed! Email us [email protected]
Through The Whatever
February 19, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourOMG! Real life Cruise News! Shelby with This Week In Soup. Many Soupinions from our listeners are shared. Parker Bowman from the Junk Food Dinner podcast teaches us about pop punk. We preview Alan Jackson's new 5-way slam metal split. Sandman's Revenge brings us Metallica: Through The Never! Email us [email protected]
Giggle Hangouts
February 12, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourA special episode where Al rants, Cory Vapes, Shelby cooks and Erik sniffs. Email us [email protected]
Describin' Soup
February 05, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourThe gang is joined by The Mayor of Crabapple Cove, Aesop Dekker, in a spirited, high-energy discussion about soup. Seriously, that is the first hour of the show. In the second hour the Noah Baumbach rich-white-people-whinging-about-their-feelings classic While We're Young is discussed, followed by an elderly-people themed Siqq Piqq. You owe us a soup! Email us [email protected]
Slamahoochie
January 29, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourMeet Sal Scummings! Alan Jackson returns to expose a Pizzagate style pedo ring! Hittin and Shittin some metal big boys. Al watches some terrible movies! Meet the billionaire that wants to put holograms on tour! Siqq Piqqs - GUEST STARS! Email us [email protected]
Nicolas Van Riffin
January 22, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourCory discovers Yoga Tributes to your favorite bands. Albums that were disowned by their creators. Hittin and shittin some new music by big bands. Is Ill Con a safe space for astrology? Sandman's Revenge begins with a disco basketball Al pick. Siqq Piqqs: PSYCHICS! Email us [email protected]
Ramen Williams
January 15, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourWe recap the 2018 Sketchfest show. Spoiler: Al got drunk. Some news you can use, it's the Cruise News! We introduce a new segment called SANDMAN'S REVENGE! Carlos calls with the Butthole Report. We play the Encyclopedia Metallum game. Siqq Piqqs - Medical Scenes! Email us [email protected]
Pillars of the Chattahoochee
January 08, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourA new us in the new year! Country and Western superstar ALAN JACKSON calls in! Some woke ass podcasts are Hitted and Shitted. We love made for TV movies! Email us [email protected]
WAND COP
January 01, 2018 13:30 - 1 hourAl, Murph, and Cobras gather around Ye Olde Yule Log to bid farewell to 2017 with an in-depth review of the Max Landis trashfest Bright, predictions for 2018, and fond reminiscences of days past. Snacks are consumed, buddy cop movies are discussed, and the new year is rung in with festive cheer. Email us [email protected]
Plugging the 2018 Sketchfest Show!
December 24, 2017 13:30 - 1 hourHappy horrordays haha get it? Email us [email protected]
Exit Sandman
December 19, 2017 13:30 - 1 hourThe goofy pals bid a not-so-fond farewell to their Fall experiment-gone-wrong, Enter Sandman, with a final installment celebrating the 2000 comedy classic Little Nicky. The holiday parody-metal tracks of Psychostick are hitted or shitted, and government UFO conspiracies involving Tom DeLonge from Blink-182 are surprisingly legitimized. Siqq Piqq: things that happened in 2017 that didn't make us want to kill ourselves! [email protected]
Ridiculous, Sucks
December 11, 2017 13:30 - 1 hourTimothy Green Beckley aka Mr. Creepo joins us to talk about Philip K. Dick, synchronicities and Edgar Winter's Frankenstein! Al and Erik go to Applebees for the $1 Long Island Iced Teas. Enter Sandman gets more depressing with The Ridiculous Six. Siqq Piqq: WESTERNS. [email protected]
The Live Moss Mentality
December 04, 2017 13:30 - 1 hourThe Pals are joined by Kevin Moss of Junk Food Dinner fame to discuss the 2015 Adam Sandler box office flop Pixels. Psychedelic racist Christmas music is Hit or Shitted, as well as 2017 AOTY contender ALONER. A Very Na'Vi Christmas, Steven Seagal, and Siqq Piqqs: Henchmen! [email protected]
A Frisbie's Right To Shoes
November 27, 2017 13:30 - 1 hourAL IS BACK, BABY. Shelby sees a lot of movies. Pauly Shore's short lived rap career. Live concert VIP package scams. THE WORST THINGS OF 2017! Jason Frisbie from Pool Party Radio joins us for Enter Sandman. SIQQ PIQQS: Training Montages. [email protected]
That's My Bowman
November 20, 2017 13:30 - 1 hourCCult gossip with Bob Calhoun! Contemporary funk metal is critiqued. Parker Bowman joins us for ENTER SANDMAN. Dream Sequences are Siqq Piqq'd. [email protected]
Breen Day
November 12, 2017 13:30 - 1 hourCory, Sara, and Al are busy circumnavigating the plasmasphere, so Erik and Shelby call in IllCon Farm Team-er Zack for a spirited discussion about the films of Neil Breen, super double ultra secret government secrets, the global shadow regime replacing the Illuminati, Adam Sandler, Communion, and Jared Fogle. Also, Hit or Shit and Siqq Piqqs: Listener Grab Bag [email protected]
Poop Cube
November 06, 2017 13:30 - 1 hourAl Sports tackles college football picks and baseball heckling with our friend Ben Kolina. Hittin' and Shittin' some death metal. Shelby's nephew calls in with important news. This week's Enter Sandman installment: Grown Ups with Aviva Siegel. Siqq Piqqs: fictional jobs. [email protected]