23. It's Time to Promote Yourself

By now, you’ve gotten the role of day to day operator of your life as a career woman & solo mom down pat. But do you ever feel like you’re running on a hamster wheel? Do you have this inner nudge telling you that there’s more? 

I mean, you’re doing all the “right” things. You’re taking care of your child(ren), you’re crushing it at work or school & you’re managing the household - for the most part. I mean we are all human so don’t even feel bad for leaving those dirty dishes in the sink tonight. Seriously. 

You know you’re running things and you’re doing a damn good job. Things are not perfect, and truth be told, you feel a level of exhaustion more than you’d like to admit, but you’re handling it. 

Ask yourself this: If you continue to do things exactly as you are currently, where will you be in five years? Where will your finances be? Where will your relationships be? Where will your health be? Where will your energy and vitality be? Where will your fulfillment be? Where will your career/business be? 

Will you be happy?

You see, what I’m getting at here is that it’s easy to get stuck in the role of the day to day operator of your life. It’s not a bad place to be. Things are functional. The child(ren) are taken care of. You’re doing well. 

Yet, you’re not really moving the needle on those big strategic goals. 

There’s a big difference between being the day to day operator and the strategic executive. I’m not talking about business. I’m talking about your life. Your role within your own life. You are calling the shots for yourself and your child(ren). 

In 2015, I got my business degree and went out into the corporate world. I was really proud of this! I mean, this is something that I’d worked so hard for. Going to school and getting your degree is not an easy task as a single mom. However, I worked so hard and the day came where I graduated and went out into the working world. 

Before i went back to school, I was in my early 20s. I was barely getting by running things day to day as I did not have a career path and was not bringing in much money. However, I had it down. Things were ok. I was going to work, taking my son to daycare, coming home and taking care of him. Wash rinse and repeat. I was doing a good job as a day to day operator right?

Yet, I knew this was not a long term viable solution. I knew I had to step up and create a strategic plan to move the needle to uplevel. I chose college and a lot of personal development. When all was said and done, it was a major uplevel. 

So back to 2015, I’m in my brand spankin' new shiny corporate job, right? Healthcare business analytics. I went to work, sometimes I went to happy hour, I came home and cooked dinner and spent time with my son and did the mom duties, and I was still waitressing one day per week.

I’m telling you, it took maybe...9 months before I got really bored. Not just with the job, but with the way of life. I mean, I was rocking the hell out of the day to day operator role. Yet, there was no long-term strategy to take me to the next level.

And then I was OK. It’s time to reassess. What do I want? What do I want to do with my life? How am I going to create the next level future? It was time to put my strategy cap on.

Alas, this is what brought me to developing the Her One Thing brand, coming to the realization that my mission is to empower women (especially solo moms) and to do something extraordinary. 

The thing is, being the day to day manager or operator of your life is not traditionally looked at as a bad thing. It’s really doing those cookie cutter things that you’re supposed to do.

Yet, when you start to see things through the lens of the strategic executor of your life, everything changes. Priorities shift. You choose things that move the needle over those dirty dishes in the sink. 

So what are the key differences between the day to day manager and the strategic executive?

Day to Day Manager

Focuses on putting out “fires”Reactive to things that come upGoing through the day to day motions - cooking, cleaning, paying bills, working a normal jobMakes sure the appointments are remembered and that the lunches are madePuts the needs of everyone else before her own

Strategic Executive

Sets goals and implements strategic timelineIdentifies needle movers and prioritizes those tasks over mundane less important tasksTakes a proactive approach to thingsPrioritizes personal development and self-careTakes risks and embraces failureCreates a 3-5 year plan, and acts and adjusts accordinglyUnderstands that by creating her future strategically, she is modeling a priceless example to her child(ren) of what is possible - the most rewarding thing of allInvests in outsourcing the mundane day to day tasks (if possible), OR implements time saving techniques so she can focus on the needle movers

Think about these roles as roles in a company. You are the executor of your own life, yet so many times we don’t act that way. People get caught up in the day to day. They become distracted. They don’t learn how to properly set goals and develop the strategies and mindset to make them a reality. 

And guess what? Society will support you in that. So many people just live day to day, week by week without any real direction. 

Now, as a solo mom, you’re busy. You have a million things going on.

You also have a more compelling "why" to become the strategic executive of your life than anyone else. You are modeling what is possible for your children. You are shaping their mindsets (no pressure).

I challenge you to stop putting so much stock in the day to day, and start becoming aligned with a future where anything is possible. 

So, how do you do this? 

1. First, you’ve gotta get still and really do some soul searching. It’s time to dig deep. It’s time to decide what you truly want. What is your ideal future? Maybe you know and maybe you don’t. You don’t need to decide on something massive right now, that’s not the point. Think about the major life categories: career and business; finances and wealth; friends and family; fun, recreation and entertainment; health and fitness; love life; personal & spiritual development; and physical environment. Start by choosing one of these, and then identify how you can strategically move the needle.

2. Make a list of the day to day things you do. Now, decide what are absolutely musts and what are optional. Example, making dinner for the child(ren) is a must. Vacuuming is optional. 

OK, I am not saying you should live in filth. I am saying that you can get really caught up in some of these day to day mundane tasks and that is what will keep you from moving the needle in the long run. Side note, when I was a full-time student, waitressing and raising my son, I had to let go of housework sometimes because I also had so much homework to do! Obviously I always cooked the meals for my son but often times, the dishes had to wait. This is just for a season of life sometimes, too. Maybe in the future, you have a cleaner that can help you. Or if your kid is old enough, put them to work to help.

3.Prioritize the needle movers.

4. Daily personal development. This is really important. Sometimes I just assume everybody does this but they don’t! Audiobooks are like a godsend for solo moms because you can listen to them while you’re doing those mundane tasks. It’s really a great way to be a strategic executive and day to day operator at the same time. You’re handling those tasks and upleveling your mindset.

5. Get comfortable saying “no”. This is one of the hardest things but it’s so important. You have to learn how to say “no” strategically to things that will steal your focus, time and attention. Say “no” to those unnecessary things. You don’t have to be rude about it but you do need to be strategic. There are a million things fighting for your time daily. This can be family, friends, bosses, social media, tv, happy hour, or whatever. The only thing you should try not to say no to is your kids spending time with you. Be there for them for sure! That is definitely a strategic move. :)

Before I learned how to identify my ideal future, set short-term and long-term goals, focus on needle movers, upgrade my mindset DAILY and say no to distractions, I was running on that hamster wheel. I was just living for the next day. ’m not gonna lie, sometimes it’s easier because you’re staying in your comfort zone. Comfortable is easy.

But what’s not easy? I always say this. Looking back on your life when you’re 75 or older and saying, “I wish I would have…” I believe that would just be the most tragic thing in this life. 

Don’t let society tell you that “normal” day to day living is the only way to be. If that’s what you want, fine. You do you. But if you’re here, that’s not what you want.

You want more. You want to raise those humans to be the best they can possibly be, AND crush your goals AND live out your dreams. 

Let me tell you, I am the day to day operator right now. I always will be. However, more than that, I am the strategic executor. When I just want to zone out and watch Netflix, the majority of the time, I choose the needle movers instead. 

What will you choose? Will you be happy 5 years from now if your life looks like it does today?