Jika Suami / Ayah Bukan Penjana Utama Kewangan Keluarga | The Boy Crisis

Diskusi 5 Syarat Kerukunan Rumahtangga dan Kesejahteraan Mesej Keibubapaan Jika Suami / Ayah Bukan Penjana Kewangan Utama Keluarga.

Meninjau wacana Dr Warren Farrell di dalam bukunya The Boy Crisis.

Kata beliau:

And although the children usually do extremely well with dad as the primary parent, if the mom does not see the light at the end of the tunnel of his unemployment, she often loses respect for him. Moreover, he feels that loss of respect both from her and from within himself. This makes him even less appealing to her, which increases his insecurity, and the marriage becomes vulnerable to divorce.

That said, dad can exercise the full-time dad option to the benefit of everyone (as we’ll see in part IV on dad-deprived boys versus dad-enriched boys) without endangering the marriage if these five conditions are met:

The Five Conditions for Successful Marriage with a Full-Time Dad

1.​ The dad is internally secure.

2.​ The dad understands and articulates to the mom the nature of his value to the children.

3.​ The mom fully values his stay-at-home dad role and never shames him for earning less.

4.​ The mom finds enormous purpose in her career, and also carves out time for the children.

5.​ The mom does not feel resentful of the children’s deeper connection to the dad.

If the dad is also either making a reasonable income from home, or developing something they both feel will eventually succeed, that enhances the probability of mom maintaining respect for dad. Since meeting these five conditions is more the exception than the rule, the stay-at-home dad with a happy marriage is more the exception than the rule. Communicating about these conditions can help your son and his partner be an exception.

Farrell, Warren . The Boy Crisis (pp. 76-77). BenBella Books. Kindle Edition.

Manakala kata-kata berimpak besar oleh Khadijah r.a dalam dinamik perkahwinannya bersama Nabi Muhammad ﷺ yang dirujuk ialah:

كَلاَّ أَبْشِرْ، فَوَاللَّهِ لاَ يُخْزِيكَ اللَّهُ أَبَدًا، فَوَاللَّهِ إِنَّكَ لَتَصِلُ الرَّحِمَ، وَتَصْدُقُ الْحَدِيثَ، وَتَحْمِلُ الْكَلَّ، وَتَكْسِبُ الْمَعْدُومَ، وَتَقْرِي الضَّيْفَ، وَتُعِينُ عَلَى نَوَائِبِ الْحَقِّ‏.

"Demi Allah, Dia tidak akan mengkhianatimu selama-lamanya. Engkau penyambung silaturahim, engkau bercakap benar, engkau memikul beban orang lain, engkau memberi kecukupan kepada kekurangan orang lain, engkau meraikan tetamu dan engkau sentiasa membela kebenaran."

(Sahih al-Bukhari : 4953)

Semoga bermanfaat.

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