Life's (and Business's) Most Important Skill

I want to talk about a skill that has helped me immensely over the years in business selling B2B and in my personal life with family and friends. That skill is understanding people, where they are coming from, and how best to influence them in a positive way.

This may seem basic in nature, but over and over again throughout my career in business I have seen people ignore this facet of communication and the consequence of not having this skill.

I don’t remember where I picked it up, but I love the saying, “Talk to people in terms they can understand.” What I mean by this is that if you want to influence people to do what you want them to do, buy more of your product, be loyal to your brand, and have a long term relationship, you have to communicate in a very specific way.

When dealing with a decision maker, a lot of sales people will walk in there, start some small talk, and then start feature barfing and go on and on about their product, why their company is the greatest, etc. 

They do the vast majority of the talking because they are nervous or not confident enough to handle the typical silence in any sales conversation.

I know I did that in my early days of selling, even though I knew better. It’s a very easy trap to fall into. Instead of getting the prospect to tell me about their needs, desires, and what’s important to them, I monopolized the conversation.

One thing that helped me change my mentality was a book written about 90 years ago called How to Win Friends and Influence people by Dale Carnegie. There’s a link to it in the show notes. I highly recommend it as the principles taught in that book are timeless.

While psychological rapport building is important when you are selling to anyone, it is particularly important for B2B since it tends to be one on one with decision makers who are sophisticated and get pitched constantly by unethical salespeople.

When you are talking to a prospect, it’s critical that you spend 70-80% of your time listening to the prospect instead of talking about your company or yourself

This is one of many techniques in rapport building, and we don’t have time to go into each one as each one could be a podcast in itself.

In addition to verbal rapport you can create rapport with your body through mirroring and matching. Go get a good book on rapport building with NLP or one of those types of books as it’s scientifically proven to work.

Even if you are not good at rapport building, one way to counter this is simply showing genuine interest in the prospect’s problems and their life in general. As you probably know, the more you know about a subject, the more interesting it becomes. The same applies to people. 

One other easy thing to do is give a prospect a sincere compliment. This sounds simple, but it’s an easy way to knock down barriers. It may take a minute to figure it out, but if you can find something to compliment them on, it’s human nature for them to connect to you. 

The takeaways from this episode are the importance of creating rapport in building any business relationship, some of the mechanics of rapport building, and most importantly, be sincere in your communication. These components have made a huge difference in my sales career and as a business owner. Whether you are talking to prospects, your employees, your spouse, or anyone, I encourage you to make this a lifelong habit.

In the next episode, we are going to talk about how to evaluate your marketing success, when you should pour resources into a marketing method, and when you should dump it.

Key Talking Points of the Episode:

Rapport building is a must have skill when dealing with B2B decision makers.75%+ of any conversation with a prospect should them speaking instead of the salesperson.Be sincere, show genuine interest, and give genuine compliments.

Please subscribe and rate the show o