S02 E25 | Revenge Of The Picked Last Kids, The XG Experience & The Romelu Poo-Car-Queue

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Dear Earholders of Footballland and those fortunate enough to stumble across this recording.

It's been another hugely successful meeting in the planning of the world's first football theme park in Qatar for the World Cup in Qatar, in Qatar (in Qatar). Mark has stopped calling it an 'improvised comedy podcast,' Ryan is making prototypes other than the Steve Mechanical Bull, and Anthony has bought two shovels off Amazon Prime. We are delighted to unveil THREE  new attractions.

Revenge Of The Picked Last Kids

Remember that awful feeling you had as a child - being picked last to play a game of playground football? Or as an adult if you're Scott McTominay? Well, Mark wants to bring that sensation to Footballland somehow. Whether it's a rollercoaster, themed restaurant or VR simulator, he's not quite sure. But it's vital we incorporate this footballling rite of passage. 

The XG Experience 

When OPTA introduced a way to show how many goals football teams should have scored in a game, the world breathed a huge sigh of relief. Fantastic news - Anthony has found a way to bring XG to Footballland with EXPECTED GOES, a computer that tells you how many rides you could have been on at the park if only you'd been more efficient with your day. How does this work in practice? It's simple - each guest at the park will be cloned and placed in a replica Footballland. That Footballland will be placed at the bottom of the sea so that those clones don't ever find out that they're clones and stage a mutiny. 

The Romelu Poo-Car-Queue 

Footballland is going to be incredibly busy, causing long traffic jams on the road from Doha to the park. But what if someone in their car needs the toilet? Enter the Romelu Poo-Car-Queue, a massive portable toilet on wheels that races to your position and allows you to relieve yourself in the body of a giant fibreglass footballer. 

We can't wait to open our park to the world, and after we design about 30 to 60 more rides we'll be ready to begin construction. 

Don't forget to send us your ride ideas, we'll discuss each and every one. 

With professional love,

Anthony Richardson (CEO)

Mark Davison (Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer)

Ryan Baxter (Intern)

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