Footballland  artwork

Footballland

116 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 7 ratings

How do you design football themed theme park rides for a football themed theme park? This is how! Welcome to Footballland.


Despite having little to no theme park acumen between them, Anthony Richardson, Mark Davis and Ryan Baxter each pitch a football themed theme park attraction or facility every week. Owing to their lack of any abilities in this field, Anthony, Mark and Ryan regularly enlist the help of special guests including comedians, footballers, musicians and journalists, none of whom have any experience building theme parks either, but at least we blame somebody else for a little while.


We also receive regular contributions from our ever expanding team of Patreons. So come join us at Footballland! "Our Goal Is Your Dreams...!" "Where Dreams Are Kicked About!" "Come In And Kick The Magic?" "The Beautiful Game (Park (needs some work))!" "Come Score Some Pleasure!"


Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland

Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.


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Comedy Sports Football football soccer sport world cup fifa world cup premier league disneyland qatar 2022 world cup 2022 footballland
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Episodes

S02 E42 | Robbie Fowler's Growler, Calf and a Half & The Referee's A W*nker

July 05, 2022 05:00 - 39 minutes - 54.2 MB

Greetings, Captain Footballland here! I have exciting things to report: our intrepid trio continue to fight for the greater footballing good – battling interminable desert sand storms, blistering temperature and general indifference – the park progress. Flying high above the footprint of Footballland I can imagine the splendour that awaits, which is good because it's just sand at the minute. BUT meanwhile our brave threesome not only continue the build, but bring us THREE new attractions to...

S02 E41 | Robbie Keane's Roly Poly Shooting Gallery, Headless Chicken FC and The Footballer Vacation Simulator

June 28, 2022 05:00 - 40 minutes - 56.2 MB

Good day fair Footballlanders, Another glorious week of Footballland is upon us, and what a week of Footballland last week was, no? EXCITING NEWS ALERT!! We have broken ground! We think... (TBC) Either way Mark is out in Qatar, we think... (or Saudi Arabia (TBC)) and he's employed a local (TBC) building contractor/builder/man who is definitely doing stuff. Robbie Keane's Roly Poly Shooting Gallery Ryan brings us one of the most iconic and poorly executed celebrations in football BUT in th...

S02 E40 | Martin Tyler's It's Alive, The Quadruple Loople & The Mark Drapery

June 21, 2022 05:00 - 39 minutes - 54.2 MB

Greetings Footballland Earholders! Well, we must apologise again, not sure to who, but to somebody for sure... Yes we've failed, yet again, to break ground on Footballland but we're not really worried because it's all sand and sand is dead easy to dig so, you know... In other news Anthony is having a lovely time in Hawaii as he makes his way "the other way" around the world back from Tuvalu, so as not to lose a day AND then there's the small matter of coming up with three excellent new ride...

S02 E39 | Ten Hag Pin Bowling, Lee Cars Lee & The Draught Excluder

June 14, 2022 05:00 - 33 minutes - 46.7 MB

Greetings Footballlanders, It's all kicking off in Tuvalu! Anthony has started the newest, spiciest rivalry in football. After beating them in an 11 vs 1 game, he has now started to berate them and insult them whenever possible. Needless to say, we've not started building yet BUT we did come up with three excellent new rides: Ten Hag Pin Bowling Man Utd have tried everything to not be sh*t recently, and failed, but it's possible that Anthony might have a solution for them – 46 pin bowling...

Footballland S02 E38 | Mount Mason, Father & Son & The Open Top Bus Parade Rollercoaster

June 07, 2022 04:27 - 41 minutes - 57.2 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Greetings Footballland Earholders! What a sunny day it is here in Western Samoa, Doha and Butlins Minehead respectively! The team at Footballland are working around the clock to bring you the first, best, biggest and only football themed theme park in Qatar, ready for the World Cup in 2022 in Qatar, in Qatar in 2022, in Qatar, and we've almost started building! The th...

S02 E38 | Mount Mason, Father & Son & The Open Top Bus Parade Rollercoaster

June 07, 2022 04:27 - 41 minutes - 57.2 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Greetings Footballland Earholders! What a sunny day it is here in Western Samoa, Doha and Butlins Minehead respectively! The team at Footballland are working around the clock to bring you the first, best, biggest and only football themed theme park in Qatar, ready for the World Cup in 2022 in Qatar, in Qatar in 2022, in Qatar, and we've almost started building! The th...

S02 E37 | The Steve Wall of Death, Give It 110% and WAY Too Pumped

May 31, 2022 04:38 - 39 minutes - 54.8 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Welcome one and all to Footballland!  After a slight mix up two of the trio are in Goa, India, while our Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer Mark Davison is in Doha. So we've been left with no option but to delay the building of our theme park by yet another week.  Instead, we have decided to come up with THREE brand new rides for the world's first football theme park, in Qa...

S02 E 36 | The Rebekah Vardy Escape Room, Groundswell & The Hall Of Past/Future Mirrors

May 24, 2022 04:41 - 38 minutes - 52.7 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Hello from Saudi Arabia!  The boys are in Saudi (although Mark is in fact in Qatar) to build the world's first football theme park in Qatar for the World Cup in Qatar in 2022 in Qatar, in Qatar!  And what a theme park it's set to be. With over 200 rides and 17 different themed toilets there truly is something for everyone. And instead of building the thing this week, ...

S02 E35 | Ashley Young Getting Bird Poo In His Mouth: The Ride, The Damp Squib Factor & The Watcher

May 17, 2022 04:34 - 40 minutes - 55 MB

Greetings from Qatar! For the first time in Footballland history, the boys are in the Middle East! Anthony is in the Holiday Inn in Doha, Ryan is in The Marriott in Doha, and Mark is in Saudi Arabia. Time is really running out to build this park - at this rate we’re looking at building one ride per day before it opens - but Mark suggests we invent THREE more attractions this week before starting construction in earnest next Monday. Ashley Young Getting Bird Poo In His Mouth: The Ride Reme...

S02 E34 | Lukaku's Lucky 7s, Hit The Stanchion and Paul Ince's Magic Bandage

May 10, 2022 04:31 - 39 minutes - 54.9 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Finally something for the children!  Paul Ince is in danger of being forgotten by the youth of today, so what better way to revive his playing career than by creating a giant inflatable side with the bloody headband he wore in Turin? Plus we immortalise the 7 (SEVEN) touches Romelu Lukaku made in a Premier League game against Crystal Palace with a brand new sport invo...

S02 E33 | Le Le Tissier Conspiracé, Pep's Over Thinking Obstacle Course & The House of the Unread

May 03, 2022 05:30 - 43 minutes - 60 MB

Fair Bank Holiday my UK based earholders! (And to the rest of the world... er, hello and don't ask what a Bank Holiday is.) We did it again, didn't we? Yep, we only went and came up with THREE sexy new attractions! We don't care how close it's getting until we're supposed to be opening the park, because we KNOW we can get it done. Plus why deny the future patrons of Footballland three new sexy attractions. Right? A big thanks to Patreon Thomas Stirewalt, who returns to pitch. Would you lik...

S02 E32 | The Unsung Hero, The I Love Football Global Theatre & Live Draw Love Balls

April 26, 2022 04:28 - 39 minutes - 54.6 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Good morrow Footballland Earholders!  Can you believe there's only 210 days until the World Cup? Which means there's just 209 days until we need to have built Footballland, the world's first football themed theme park (we're building it a day earlier just in case people have already got to Qatar). This week we're excited to unveil THREE new rides, of which only one is...

S02 E31 | Emerson Royal With Cheese, He Doesn't Want It! & The Back Pass

April 19, 2022 04:25 - 42 minutes - 58.3 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Happy Easter to all our Footballland Earholders! And a special Happy Easter to Patreon Graham Boosey, who pitches the grass roots experience HE DOESN'T WANT IT. Footballland is really taking shape now. With just 6 months until opening day we're proud to have designed nearly 200 rides directly or loosely related to football. And our Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer Mark Dav...

S02 E30 | Nightmare (Dele) Alli, Fox In The Box & The Time Waster

April 12, 2022 04:36 - 41 minutes - 57.5 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Greetings Footballland Earholders,  And a special Footballland greeting to those of you interested in seeing a Fox In The Box placed in a perspex box the size of a penalty box with an actual fox. Boy are you in luck this week! A huge thank you to our Patreon Thomas Stirewalt, who pitches The Time Waster, the world's first Diego Simeone simulator! Plus our intern Ryan ...

S02 E29 | Tickly Thomas Tuchel, It'll Be All Dwight On The Night & Punt It Upfield

April 05, 2022 04:25 - 42 minutes - 58.7 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Greetings Footballland earholders! It’s another week of dreamweaving here at Footballland HQ. We’ve been accidentally given $1 billion by the state of Qatar to build the world’s first football theme park and by jove we’re spending that money wisely. Plastic surgery to make 5 tickling fetichists look like Chelsea manager Thomas Tuchel? CHECK. A giant velcro catapult to ...

S02 E28 | The Glenn Hoddle School of English, The Matty Cash Point & Ooh Aahh Canada!

March 29, 2022 04:20 - 40 minutes - 55.7 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Greetings Footballland Earholders!  And a special welcome to our new Patreon Thomas Stirewalt, who is the proud sponsor of our new car park (The Thomas Spirewalt Car Park, suitable for both cars and motorcycles and nocturnal nesting place of Pepe, should he so wish). Thanks, Thomas! This is an apt point to remind you that you can pitch a ride to us if you're a Patreon...

S02 E27 | The Kane & Sonbination, The Catapult Bra & Garth Crooks' Team Of The Day

March 22, 2022 05:15 - 41 minutes - 56.7 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Greetings Earholders! What a lovely day it is too, not least because you've got a brand new episode of Footballland ready to plug into your earholes! We have $1 billion dollars burning a hole in our pocket and we're about to spunk it all on some giant fibreglass faces of Harry Kane and Son Heung-Min!  Here's the rides for your consideration today: The Kane And Sonbin...

S02 E26 | Klich Koch The Bielsa Clock, Stick It In The Mixer & Be The Kepa

March 15, 2022 06:00 - 44 minutes - 61.6 MB

Dear Lorders and Lorderesses of Footballland, We had another indulgent meeting this week – when we really should be cracking on with building the park – we just couldn't help ourselves. So yes, we've piled more pressure on ourselves by creating three more attractions that just have to be built. Klich Koch The Bielsa Clock This aspect of the park might not get used all that much because it's almost impossible to pronounce – even Ryan, the idiot that came up with the idea can't say it until...

S02 E25 | Revenge Of The Picked Last Kids, The XG Experience & The Romelu Poo-Car-Queue

March 08, 2022 05:24 - 45 minutes - 62.6 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Dear Earholders of Footballland and those fortunate enough to stumble across this recording. It's been another hugely successful meeting in the planning of the world's first football theme park in Qatar for the World Cup in Qatar, in Qatar (in Qatar). Mark has stopped calling it an 'improvised comedy podcast,' Ryan is making prototypes other than the Steve Mechanical B...

S02 E24 | Snoring James Milner, Victorian Terrace Pissball & Freaky Free Kicks

March 01, 2022 05:24 - 42 minutes - 58.2 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland [Musical notes emoji] Footballland, FOOTBALLLAND. FOOOT BBAALLLL LAND [/Musical notes emoji]  It's a serious business, creating the world's first football themed theme park in Qatar for the World Cup in Qatar in Qatar, but you know what? We had a right bloomin laugh making this episode.  This week in Footballland we have the pleasure of unveiling THREE new attractions...

S02 E23 | The Aubameyang Boomerang, Full Ham & The Faillercoaster

February 22, 2022 05:18 - 41 minutes - 56.8 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Greetings Footballlanders!  It took us until Episode 23 of season 2 to come up with a casino for Footballland. What have we called it? The Tony Cascacasino. The great news is that you're all invited to gamble there to your hearts' content. And if you're fortunate enough to be the last person into the park on any given day, you get to play our special new game - Full Ha...

S01 E22 | John Terry's Farewell Tours, Alisson Pecker & The Player Manager

February 15, 2022 05:36 - 31 minutes - 43.4 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland "Don't chat. Risk of death." Hello Footballlanders! The world's first football theme park is ever expanding and we are thrilled to announce TWO new rides from us and ONE from our patreon patron Calum Lightfoot! If you'd like your ride discussed on Footballland, then follow these easy steps: 1. Make sure you're a patron 2. Write down your ride idea using your computer...

S02 E21 | Arsene Wenger's World Cup Mayhem, Shit House and See No Medieval, Hear No Medieval, Speak No Medieval

February 08, 2022 05:36 - 45 minutes - 62.2 MB

Greetings Footballland guests, patrons and earholders!  There's a growing excitement here at Footballland HQ. The park is slowly taking shape. We haven't yet built anything as such, but if 90% of the work is in the design, then Footballland is 28% complete!  We are thrilled to announce THREE more rides for your pleasure.  Arsene Wenger's World Cup Mayhem  Le Prof is a big advocate for ruining things by overdoing them - just look at his relentless lobbying for a World Cup every two years....

S02 E20 The Diving Header, Eddie Howe’s Supermarket Sweep and Manager Marriage Counselling

February 01, 2022 06:00 - 40 minutes - 56 MB

Greetings Footballlanders! Fantastic news! Over the weekend we chatted with a guy whose flatmate was from Qatar. He said that they’re counting down the days until the world’s first football theme park opens in their country, and all anyone can talk about is how many seconds they’re going to last on Steve Mechanical Bull. We’re beyond excited at bringing our vision to Doha, and all for the cut price of 1 billion dollars minus the price of a laptop and a nice pen.  This week we’re proud to u...

S02 E19 | Ronaldon't, The Frank Lampard Lol-lercoaster & Chris Kamara's Lallana and Benrahma on Llamas

January 25, 2022 05:27 - 37 minutes - 51.6 MB

Greetings Footballlanders!  After another fruitful meeting at Footballland HQ we are pleased to announce THREE new rides. OK, so one of them is just Chris Kamara solving park problems, so let's call it TWO new rides and ONE important piece of park infrastructure!  This week the world's 2nd greatest footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo, returns to the park (after being fired off into space) with The Ronaldon't, a ride which challenges guests to be as far removed from Cristiano as humanly possible....

Footballland S02 E19 | Ronaldon't, The Frank Lampard Lol-lercoaster & Chris Kamara's Lallana and Benrahma on Llamas

January 25, 2022 05:27 - 37 minutes - 51.6 MB

Greetings Footballlanders!  After another fruitful meeting at Footballland HQ we are pleased to announce THREE new rides. OK, so one of them is just Chris Kamara solving park problems, so let's call it TWO new rides and ONE important piece of park infrastructure!  This week the world's 2nd greatest footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo, returns to the park (after being fired off into space) with The Ronaldon't, a ride which challenges guests to be as far removed from Cristiano as humanly possible....

S02 E18 | The Mikel Ar-Vet-a, Garden Furniture Gauntlet & SAS: The Wedding

January 18, 2022 05:24 - 39 minutes - 53.7 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Welcome earholders, and general listeners to another week of theme park planning!  We're one step closer to building Footballland, and we thank you for your support as we near the final stages. Mark, Anthony and Ryan are delighted to bring you THREE new attractions!  The Mikel Ar-vet-a Yeah, you read that right - Mikel Ar-Vet-a. The world's first Mikel Arteta themed ...

Footballland S02 E18 | The Mikel Ar-Vet-a, Garden Furniture Gauntlet & SAS: The Wedding

January 18, 2022 05:24 - 39 minutes - 53.7 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Welcome earholders, and general listeners to another week of theme park planning!  We're one step closer to building Footballland, and we thank you for your support as we near the final stages. Mark, Anthony and Ryan are delighted to bring you THREE new attractions!  The Mikel Ar-vet-a Yeah, you read that right - Mikel Ar-Vet-a. The world's first Mikel Arteta themed ...

S02 E17 | The Terry Venables Wrecking Ball, Emmanuel Frimpong's Ping Pong Ding Dong & Shrug It Off

January 11, 2022 05:19 - 37 minutes - 51.7 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Terry Venables, in a giant velcro fat suit, attached to a mile high crane, swinging through the park at midday every day singing 'We're All Going England Crazy' and taking anyone in his path with him. You in or what? Because that's the sort of billion dollar theme park we are. A park not afraid to pay El Tel's exorbitant wages while informing everyone that the afternoo...

S02 E16 | Ralf Rangnick's Quicksand Experience, Go On Mer'son & The Maze Of Mesmeric Feet

January 04, 2022 05:23 - 39 minutes - 54.6 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Some new year resolutions are bigger than others. We're not belittling your yearly vow to drink 3 pints fewer per week before inevitably giving up by early Feb, but we have a serious resolution here at Footballland - to build the world's first football theme park in Qatar for the World Cup in Qatar this year in Qatar. If we don't, not only will we have let ourselves dow...

Footballland Very Best Rides Of 2021!

December 28, 2021 05:36 - 45 minutes - 62.5 MB

Happy Nearly New Year! It's been a hectic year at Footballland HQ. We're so close to opening the world's first football theme park in time for the world cup 2022 in 2022 in Qatar in 2022, and we couldn't have done it without your help. Your ride ideas, your jingles, your many car parks have been invaluable, so a massive thank you for your support.  In time honoured tradition, we've cobbled together a year-end best of Footballland. Three rides that in our opinion are the absolute bees knees...

S02 E14 | Elf-Inge The City, A Football VR Simulator & Get Your Kit On

December 21, 2021 05:33 - 40 minutes - 55.9 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Merry Christmas!  While you've been working hard, a glass of merlot in one hand, a block of brie in the other, we at Footballland have been preparing for the opening of Footballland in just 336 days time. And we were delighted to have the CEO of Hashtag United Spencer Owen in the Wayne Lineker testicle. Spencer created a football team from scratch so he's no stranger t...

S02 E13 | Steve Bruce: Victorian Gentleman

December 14, 2021 05:34 - 38 minutes - 52.7 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland While No. 10 have been partying, your executives at Footballland have been knuckling down to design the world's first football theme park in Qatar in time for the World Cup 2022 in Qatar in Qatar. That's right - if this were a Zoom quiz, our specialist subject would be inventing FUN. And what's more fun than a giant fibreglass Steve Bruce with a working flushable toilet...

S02 E12 | The Relegation Cockfight

December 07, 2021 05:00 - 39 minutes - 54.6 MB

This week on Footballland we're proposing teaching chickens to fly but in the spirit of equality bears and dogs too, and before you start moaning we're also modifying planes for bees as well, so... okay? We've also got a new security detail in the form of turn of the (20th) century comedy troupe, The Keystone Cops, only they all look like a certain Premier League manager from Germany. Not forgetting, an around the world ode to the star spangled stallion and MLS/NASL strawberry blonde hero, A...

S02 E11 | The Cristiano Ronaldo Rocket

November 30, 2021 05:25 - 41 minutes - 56.9 MB

This week on Footballland we're sending Cristiano Ronaldo into space and never bringing him back, we're setting up a creche overseen by Brian Kidd and 92 goats, and we're building a massive bouncy castle in the shape of St James' Park where YOU TOO can be washed by former Newcastle legends Les Ferdinand and Warren Barton! Who wouldn't want to be lathered up by a Toon great? The Ronaldo Rocket  Cristiano Ronaldo loves that ridiculous Siiiiiiiuuu celebration, doesn't he? But the trouble is, ...

S02 Ep10 | Ole's At The Wheel Viking Pleasure Boats

November 23, 2021 05:20 - 37 minutes - 52.1 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland The birds are singing, the bees are fornicating and Mark is back in the studio! That's right, all three Footballland executives are in the room to bring you 3 [THREE] new attractions.  Ole's At The Wheel Viking Pleasure Boats  Man United might have discarded Ole Gunnar Solskjaer like a lukewarm flannel on a long-haul flight but his legacy lives on at Footballland in t...

S02 E09 | The Graham Poll Exit Poll, Sniffing For Cloughles and Danny Drinkswater

November 16, 2021 05:28 - 38 minutes - 52.7 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Can you imagine snow falling on Graham Poll's naked back and would it be beautiful? What's the point of Space food? And if you were to cosmetically engineer two pigs to look like managerial dynasty Brian and Nigel Clough, which would find a truffle first?  Those are the questions we're asking this week, and asking them with us is Empire Magazine's Chris Hewitt. Chris ...

S02 E08 | Claudio Ranieri's Operating Theatre

November 09, 2021 05:38 - 36 minutes - 50.2 MB

It's been another highly successful week at Footballland and we're delighted to announce THREE new rides! One of which came from listener and patron Nick Dunmore. Remember, you can send us any of your half-baked ride ideas and we're contractually obliged to discuss them! Sign up to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Here's what's on the menu at Footballland this week: Claudio Ranieri's Operating Theatre He's known as the tinkerman, but what if we let Claudio Ranieri tink...

S02 E07 | Freaky Friday Night Football, Fake Shakes and The Horror Tackle

November 02, 2021 05:21 - 34 minutes - 48.1 MB

Hey guess what? It's Footballlllllaaaaaaaaaand! The world's first football theme park is *really* taking shape now. Can you believe we've gone and created another three rides? Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland and if you'd like a bit of extra special treatment sign up to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland The Horror Tackles Remember those little fish that bit off all your dead skin in shopping centres in the mid 2000s? Well, it's that, but it's the...

S02 E07 | Horror Tackles

November 02, 2021 05:21 - 34 minutes - 48.1 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Hey guess what? It's Footballlllllaaaaaaaaaand! The world's first football theme park is *really* taking shape now. Can you believe we've gone and created another three rides? The Horror Tackles Remember those little fish that bit off all your dead skin in shopping centres in the mid 2000s? Well, it's that, but it's the genetically modified penises of players that hav...

S02 E06 | Mané Hands Make A Light Work, Foosball Manager and Tim Cahill Beyond The Corner Flag

October 26, 2021 04:44 - 31 minutes - 694 MB

After another extremely important meeting at Footballland HQ we're pleased to unveil THREE new rides. And one of those has come from our patron Phil Lee. Remember, you can send us any of your half-baked ride ideas and we're contractually obliged to discuss them! Sign up to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland So here are the rides in this week's lineup: Mané Hands Make A Light Work  Liverpool and Senegal forward Sadio Mané is desperate to record his autobiography in our sp...

S02 E06 | Mané Hands Make A Light Work

October 26, 2021 04:44 - 31 minutes - 694 MB

After another extremely important meeting at Footballland HQ we're pleased to unveil THREE new rides. And one of those has come from our patron Phil Lee. Remember, you can send us any of your half-baked ride ideas and we're contractually obliged to discuss them! Sign up to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland So here are the rides in this week's lineup: Mané Hands Make A Light Work  Liverpool and Senegal forward Sadio Mané is desperate to record his autobiography in our sp...

S02 E05 | The Jaap Stampede, Kanu's Rapid[s] and Who Do You Think You Aunt?

October 19, 2021 04:46 - 36 minutes - 49.8 MB

What an incredible meeting at Footballland HQ this week. Can you believe that we came up with THREE new things...? Sensational! We are delighted to unveil: 1 ride, 1 facility and 1 naked fighting experience. But which one is which? Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Comedian and Times Columnist George Lewis joined us to pitch The Jaap Stampede, in which park guests can feel what it's like to be a streaker in front of 80,000 people, while chased down by an irate ...

S02 E04 | The Toure Brothers' Bus Tour, Minamino's Mini Motos, Payet's Bottle Shy

October 12, 2021 04:22 - 32 minutes - 45.2 MB

In yet another top, top, top, top, top, top, top episode of Footballland we're excited to bring your THREE new rides. If you like what we do join our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland or you can support our show athttps://supporter.acast.com/footballland The Toure Brothers' Bus Tour To me! To You! The Toure Brothers' Bus Tour is Footballland's newest manner of transportation, featuring the comedy slapstick duo Yaya and Kolo Toure as Paul and Barry Chuckle.  Minamino's Mini M...

S02 E03 | Uri Geller WILL F*** Up Your Day In Footballland

October 05, 2021 04:37 - 39 minutes - 54.6 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland This week we're pleased to announce that Mark Davison returns after being out of the game for two weeks - that's a short time in Podcast terms, but a lifetime if you're a Watford manager.  So the full complement of top, top lads are excited to bring you THREE new attractions.  Uri Geller Will F*** Up Your Day In Footballland  Anthony has a genius plan to avoid a mas...

S02 E03 | Uri Geller WILL F*** Up Your Day In Footballland, Pepe's Pee Pee Take and Marcelo Bielsa's Bum Bucket Carousel

October 05, 2021 04:37 - 39 minutes - 54.6 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland This week we're pleased to announce that Mark Davison returns after being out of the game for two weeks - that's a short time in Podcast terms, but a lifetime if you're a Watford manager.  So the full complement of top, top lads are excited to bring you THREE new attractions.  Uri Geller Will F*** Up Your Day In Footballland  Anthony has a genius plan to avoid a mas...

S02 E02 | Raphaël Varane's Pans, Chuck Blazer's Mobility Scooter Hire and The Chicken Shawarma-morial | Footballland

September 28, 2021 04:30 - 33 minutes - 726 MB

This week, Ryan pitches a competitive mobility vehicle facility in honour of football’s most santa-like administrator Chuck Blazer (Disclaimer: if you are planning on coming to Footballland and you need a mobility vehicle either bring your own, or start practicing herding cats by lassoing them with blazers whilst under threat from fire).   Anthony pitches a ceramics masterclass-come-fight-for-you-life hosted by Raphaël Varane and his henchman Harry Maguire. Quick word of advice: conserve y...

S02 E01 | Bend It Like Beckham, The Mark Poo-Catch and Maim For A Laugh | Footballland

September 21, 2021 04:41 - 37 minutes - 43.1 MB

We are finally back for season 2 of Footballland! Thank you so much for your patience over the summer. You won't be disappointed by what we have in store for this series, and please send us your ride ideas - we'll include each and every one. If you like our show sign up to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland So, here's E01 of S02 - Anthony unveils the BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM, his tribute Goldenballs himself, in the form of a carnival strongman exhibit. Ryan fixes the global inj...

WE'RE BACK | Bend It Like Beckham, The Mark Poo-Catch and Maim For A Laugh

September 21, 2021 04:41 - 37 minutes - 43.1 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland We are finally back for season 2 of Footballland! Thank you so much for your patience over the summer. You won't be disappointed by what we have in store for this series, and please send us your ride ideas - we'll include each and every one.  So, here's E01 of S02 - Footballland returns for Season 2! The world's first football themed theme park is almost ready to open...

S01 E32 | Super Ney-Mario! | Footballland

June 01, 2021 04:26 - 38 minutes - 53.3 MB

Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland Sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland Sadly this is our final episode of the season! We're taking a break for the Euros and will return for an even bigger and better Footballland in July!  You'll agree that the park is taking fantastic shape, and we're pleased to bring you THREE new rides: Super Ney-Mario  A live action video game featuring PSG and Brazil superstar Neymar - It's-a Super Neymario! Watch o...