Five Mental Health Fitness Tips with Dr. Nicole Garneau

Dr. Nicole Garneau

Five Mental Health Fitness Tips

 

From an early age I loved both science and entertaining. I did stand up comedy in my 4th grade talent show, and played the lead Andrew Sister in a high school production about the 1940s. And yet, I also learned the fungi (fun-guy) joke in 6th grade, won my share of science fairs, and by my sophomore year, had declared to my folks that I was going to be a geneticist. See, dreams do come true! I’m now doing what I love most, talking science and inspiration, and making people laugh full time.

Following high school, I loved my time on the banks of the old Raritan, completing my BA in Genetics at Rutgers College. I then took off a gap year to gain a sense of self, before going full force into my PhD in microbiology at Colorado State University. This led to a business internship with CSU Ventures, volunteering for the Colorado BioScience Association, and eventually a ten-year career as the curator and chair of the Health Sciences Department at the Denver Museum of Nature & Science.

And now, I’m honored to be recognized as one of the top 5 most influential young professionals in Colorado, a 2020 CiviCO Governors Fellow, and a serial entrepreneur. I live with my husband and daughter in Denver, and delight in immersing myself in nature when I’m not immersed in designing and customizing presentations and trainings for my corporate and nonprofit clients

www.drnicolegarneau.com

[email protected]

www.feednigfatty.com

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Full Transcript 

Roy (00:02):

Hello, and welcome to the feeding fatty podcast. I'm Roy, I’m Terry. And, uh, you can find us at www.feeding fatty. Com. We do have, our podcasts uploaded. We just, uh, put a new one out there today. So please go check us out. Uh, as you know, most of the time we chronicle our journey about myself and Terry and her helping me, you know, get in shape and get healthier. But we do have guests along the way. And today we're very fortunate to have Nicole Nicole Garneau. She is our scientist next door. She provides consulting training and she's a keynote speaker. She likes to talk about how you can bring science to your table. She was, uh, recently, uh, acknowledged as one of the top five, top five, most influential young professionals in Colorado. And she is known for one of her keynote speaking, speak one of her keynote speeches, neuroscience of happiness. And I think that's what got our attention, uh, that, and she works a lot with tastes. But what we wanted to talk about is that you can make a lot of changes in your life and that still may not make you happy. You have to work on the mental aspect. And Nicole has been good enough to put together five tips for our mental fitness. And, uh, Nicole will go ahead and turn it over to you.

Dr. Nicole (01:38):

Wonderful. Thank you so much, Roy and Terry, I'm super psyched to be here, so to speak. I'm using my bunny ears on the podcast.

Roy (01:47):

Well, and you know, the, uh, we talked a little bit, you know, when we did our initial call, we talked a lot about that. You know, I've got to a point in life a few times that I've really thought that, you know, maybe about having the surgery, but what I always come around to is that if, if you don't get things fixed between your ears, then any kind of surgery surgery, or anything else that you can do to your body is not going to help you.

Dr. Nicole (02:18):

Yeah. And when we talked, I was really the thing that drew me to both of you all is that you're approaching this such an authentic way. And I think, um, health and fitness and nutrition, it has this kind of very intimidating persona. And a lot of it, doesn't always talk about the fact that you got to get right in the head. Like you said, you got to get in between the ears and that's really the foundation. If that is crumbling, all the rest of the stuff you're going to do is not gonna, it's not going to hold true. Right. So we started talking first about taste stuff, which is my equities, and then started getting into the neuroscience side. And it felt like a real good topic for us to bring to your list.

Roy (02:54):

Yeah. Because I, you know, I struggle with that and, you know, just, we try to be authentic. I think that's the main thing is we, we put it all out there, embarrassing or not embarrassing. And, uh, you know, we're going to have another me and Terry taught in, you know, at the end of this week probably. And that we struggle. I struggled last week. Uh, Terry's mother had gone into the hospital. And so she was taking care of her most of the time. And it, it blew my routine, which just totally, totally mess me up. And then that led to getting off a little bit on sleep. And that was one thing I've known that really shined a light on the last month or two is that if I have any disruption in my sleep patterns, I'm pretty much done. And so anyway, I just, I think that's one reason. And, uh, hopefully we're gonna be able to talk you back, talk you into coming back because we do want to touch on those. Uh, the five tastes, that was an enlightening thing again, that, you know, uh, have just really found out about him was interesting. But I think that this mental aspect probably needs to be the first thing that we talk about in order to set that up before even worry about anything else.

Dr. Nicole (04:14):

I like it. So should we get into it? Let's go. Let's do it. Okay. So my first tip, and this was one that I struggled with a lot, being someone who was raised first born and my parents divorced are young. So I would taking care of my siblings and, you know, not starting trouble, not getting in trouble, being the good kids blah-blah-blah is that you feel alone and you decide, well, I guess I am alone. And the first mental fitness kits for, um, for getting your body fitness, where it needs to be nutrition is you gotta own that. You're not alone. Um, and there's two things that I really want to point out for this one. You guys already mentioned, you have to inform, inform, inform the people around you, who can support you, and you just gotta put it all out there. Um, I know that you guys do that for each other. And the fact that when Terry was gone, where you were like, what am I gonna do?

Dr. Nicole (05:10):

Um, but like coming up, we have a, so there's a small group of couples who are going, all of us are going to Telluride together this weekend for a birthday. And we're all getting our Colby test ahead of time and rented a place. And, um, I wasn't barest to reach out to people planning cause they're planning all the food to friends of mine. And at first I was embarrassed to say, listen, I am putting my recipes in my fitness pal. I am looking at sodium and saturated fat and how much protein I get in the day. Should you share with me what you're cooking? So I can kind of pay attention to what I need to do, because I need to know that I can fill in the gaps with bringing oil bag or whatever I need to do to make it right. Um, and I was a little bit of a shame even though because of my best friend.

Roy (05:53):

Right? Right. Well, we had a recent encounter is maybe even I'll try to top you. One is that we, we went over to my mom's for breakfast. Then I had to actually correct her and say, Oh, watch out on putting that salt in those eggs that we don't need that. And I felt terrible. You know, it just kind of blurted out, but it's like, Hey, you know what? If we don't tell other people they're never going to know and no, you know, we have to,

Dr. Nicole (06:21):

You got to get comfortable with saying, you got to get comfortable with saying like, Hey, this is what I'm working. Here's my struggle, which also ties to the mental health. It's a really stigmatized thing as is, as is nutrition. Um, so that's, that was the first part of you're not alone. The second part is you're going to reach a part in your journey, no matter where you are, that you are going to need something besides your brain. And this was a very recent thing for me that I decided to bring coaches into my life. And I had been taught as that firstborn child to not ask for help and to not say no. And I carry that through almost all of my academic and professional career to museum when I was a curator there. And this is something I've had to overcome is to say, no, I am not equipped.

Dr. Nicole (07:05):

I am not a professional. I do not know how to do this anymore for my, what will be a 40 year old body, right? When I was 20, it was easy. You ate whatever you wanted. I maybe went for a run. I don't know when I was a size two. It just didn't matter. Nothing mattered what you did and you reach a point where you go, Holy heck, I can't do the things I used to rely on. So I had a brain injury and I have, uh, I hurt my knee and have a meniscus tear so I can just run and be like sweet. But in those jeans and I can't keep eating the way I was doing. And I didn't know how to change those things. I literally am not equipped. I do not have the expertise and it was life changing. When I bought in the coach.

Dr. Nicole (07:46):

Now I know not everyone can do that. It is expensive, but there are a lot of free online resources on Pinterest and a bunch of other places, YouTube. We can get free workouts for people with knee problems, cardio for people who can't, you know, can't run. Um, my coach, which is shift human performance. She, her Pinterest page has all these like one pan recipes that are the perfect balance of protein and micronutrients and so on. So there's free resources out there. So don't feel like you have to spend the money, but know that as soon as you make that decision, but universe is going to be like, okay, I got you. We're going to do this. Right. That's kind of where I feel right now.

Roy (08:21):

It's a big thing. And I'm being a firstborn too. I think you feel that, but also, you know, being a male. Um, and my generation, of course, you know, we were always kinda made to feel that, you know, that that's a sign of weakness. If you have to ask for help and can't handle it, but it's not. I mean, if you think about, we've got professional athletes that are very gifted from the moment they're born, but they work hard and they make millions of dollars. And guess what? They've got coaches all up and down the sideline that helped them with everything, from their calling, the plays to what the defense may be, to what, uh, and to their mental health and their mental aspect, you know, as well as weights and every, you know, they have coaches for everything. So why do we have such a stigma tied to that, that you know what we may need help and you need to reach out to somebody

Dr. Nicole (09:17):

That's right. And you need to have the bandwidth to keep this up, which ties to your sleep piece, which is why you need to learn to say no to things. If it's not speaking to you and it's not expansive, um, we have to look, we have to really be kind to ourselves, especially during a pandemic when our energy is being torn, a lot of directions with tension, you gotta preserve that energy for yourself as well. So that's, that's kind of the other tip of, of saying, you know, ask, asking for help and saying for no two things that we're really not taught to do, but tie to how mental health is, um, a big part of your physical health.

Terry (09:51):

Yeah. Saying no is a hard, it's such a hard thing. I mean, and I'm only, I'm a third born, but I still, but there were like five years in between myself and my oldest sister. So it was kind of like, we were two separate families, so it's kind of like, I'm a firstborn. Um, but it's hard. It I'm telling you, asking for help is not an easy thing to do.

Roy (10:15):

See. And I was debating this, I was debating this the other day is that, um, there was a book that somebody put out that, that said, say yes to everything for a year. And I'm like, ah, I just, while you want to be nice, I guess the, the, the mindset that I've taken as I've grown older, because I used to be much worse than I am now, but where I'm at now is like, time is the most precious resource or asset that I have. And if I don't protect it, nobody else will. And I mean, I'll give you a good example is, um, I'm bombarded on LinkedIn consistently every day. I probably get anywhere between 20 to 30 emails, some sometimes, or they're pushing, uh, you know, something that has nothing to do with me, but used to, I would take the time and try to answer and reach out to everybody and say, no, thank you, whatever.

Roy (11:16):

Then it turned into a conversation. Just let me, you know, just five minutes, let me get on a phone call with you. I can change your mind. And so anyway, if you take, if you take five minutes that it may take you to respond times 20 people, that that's a hundred minutes of your life in the day of totally unproductive time, because you've, you know, if you know, you don't need their service and there's really not a match for you to do networking, then it's totally wasted. So I I'm trying to practice that more, be better added. I still kinda have little soft spy every now and then, but I can't imagine that somebody that would take this mindset to say yes to everything anyway.

Dr. Nicole (12:02):

Yeah. I like to, I like to clarify it to say, so what I always teach my students and the people that I mentor say yes to the universe when the universe, when the universe puts something in front of you, that lights you up. Right. So that's where you can't let fear in saying yes to everything. I don't know. No, that would be so hard. Oh my gosh. It just wears you out. Maybe three children, maybe when I was like mid twenties and I had all the energy in the world. Um, that's right. So the next one is that, and this is a twist on a quote from Robert Holden that I sent you, which is a British, he's a British psychologist, um, is no I'm going to paraphrase it. No amount of self-improvement can replace self-acceptance. And this is where we have to really start digging into the root causes of why we have these triggers and habitual actions that are basically sabotaging our physical bodies. Um, and this is hard for people. Cause again, there's a lot of stigma around people don't want to talk about that. There's root issues to why they reach for that same Ben and Jerry's ice cream Sesame. Or why do you take the, you take the trip down to seven 11 at 10, 11 o'clock at night. [inaudible]

Dr. Nicole (13:23):

God you're killing me. So, so here's the deal. Sometimes you're not, you'll know when you're ready for therapy. And I, and I would say that that is the number one thing that has helped me through. Um, but there's other ways you can start working through this on your own if you're not comfortable with that stuff yet. And it's all there also free steps. You basically need to put it into the physical plane, which means the two ways that I did it and still do it in addition to therapy is I journal when I feel it, when you're getting that bluesy feeling or where you feel a trigger before you take action journal about what you're feeling, because you have to start getting aware and where you and I have talked about this, what are those triggers and why? Because if you don't know the triggers, you're, you know, you can lift weights and eat all the right things. But as soon as that trigger hits, you're down the spiral.

Roy (14:07):

Right? And that, that was me. That was me last week is, you know, with our routine being shaken up with having to, you know, think out of the box to prepare some food because, you know, I have to admit Terry takes very good care of me by making sure, you know, she cooks most evenings and even cooks a little extra for lunch the next day. And so, you know, now I'm out of my element over there, scrounging through the refrigerator, trying to find something and it's easier. And I didn't, but I thought about it, it's easier run up and have some Chick-fil-A and those nice fries that they have. And so that was always my first thought. And then I would have to say, you know what, I kind of take a step back and not do that. I just totally fall apart, you know, with this a little bit of adversity.

Roy (14:56):

And I think that's more what it is. It's just something that's different and a little bit tougher that you have to really think through. But I will tell you, you know, I had, I've got the midnight, you know, run into the cute, we, we have QuikTrips is kind of like our 7-11s around here. So, you know, running up to the QT at 9 or 10 o'clock at night, getting some cookies or this or that. So it doesn't do any good not to keep stuff in the house. If all you're going to do is just drive up to the grocery store and get it, get it when you want it. But the other, I think the big thing for me too, though, is there being time in between the trigger and the action to actually, um, to do the journaling or think about it and cause that's another thing I've noticed it's very impulsive and almost just like a natural reaction when you have that feeling just to do it and not think about it.

Roy (15:53):

And you know, I'm fortunate that I can talk to Terry. A lot of times I'm like, Hey, you know what, I'm feeling, uh, feeling some hunger coming on or wanting a candy bar or whatever, you know, and she can talk me down off the cliff, but if I'm here by myself, you know, good luck with that, I'm like heading out. So how, how do you, um, I guess you just have to be in touch with yourself, but I would like to know how do you kind of have that time in between the thought and the action to actually, you know, sit down and journal or how do you kind of make yourself slow down just a minute?

Dr. Nicole (16:31):

Yeah. So, so I want to come back to the resilience piece. I'm going to answer this question. I'm gonna tell you another tip around this. So I'm answering this piece is at first, I didn't even know I was doing it. So that's the first thing you just have to know you're doing it. So for me, my like dirty secret is like when it gets close at night and I'm just tired of all get out and I don't want to do with my kid and I don't want my husband judging me cause he's in super good shape and I'm not. And I go, when I sneak peanut butter and mini chocolate chips, literally with a spoon and it was so I've started tracking that I'm tracking my calories and my fitness pal. I put it in there cause you can't be lying in your coat. She's not going to be able to help you.

Dr. Nicole (17:15):

If you lie to your coach right therapist, it doesn't work. So I started putting it in there. So now I have less shame about it and I plan for it. So it comes down to if you're going to. So there's a pre-planning that helps me a lot. So I try to preplan usually a day or two in advance about where I'm going to put my calories, you know? And then you give yourself some flux room. Right? But the other thing, when it comes to the pods, the pods is super important because once I recognize I'm going to do it, my question is, am I really hungry? And surely the answer is no I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I feel I don't have any value. My self worth seems pretty low because I had a bad client call or somebody was mean on Facebook, which they always are.

Dr. Nicole (17:58):

People can be so mean. And so it's always something else. And once I realized that, I said, well, what do you really need right now? Do you need some protein? And so I'll eat hard, boiled egg whites. Do you, you know, is it really that you need protein? Probably because we do not get enough protein in the American diet, good protein that's lean and without saturated fat without sodium. So I just tried to take the pause and um, I also just try to plan it in advance. So I know where my calories are gonna be distributed. And you know, that type a little girl comes right back into play. I'm like, well, here's the plan. I'm going to stick to it. Oh my gosh. So that's the first thing. So then coming back to resilience, so something I want to task you with Roy, I want to give you homework.

Dr. Nicole (18:41):

And this is something that my husband and I recently went into last few weeks, did my friend and I, who was also going through some, some difficulty with her health because of breast cancer. She and I have the same coach and we decided that we were going to have operation, teach Amanda fish. I think Terry's really going to like this. Okay. And basically we, I first wanted to switch off weeks with my husband doing, not just cooking. Like don't just swoop in and cook. No, I want someone to plan. I want you to send me the rest of so I can log it and you need to go buy those damn groceries and you're going to cook and you're going to do the whole thing for me. And he basically said, it's really hard for his job. He's a financial planner and the markets are crazy and his clients are having, you know, things are crazy with money right now.

Dr. Nicole (19:25):

He said, how about if I do Friday, Saturday, Sunday. So I now do Monday through Thursday. He does Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And I Terry, here's the tip I am being so good about not all I say is just send me the recipes so I can log it. I don't give him advice. I don't tell him what to do. I don't tell him, Oh, we already have that in the closet to ask. He can look and see if we have garam masala okay. And operation teacher manifesto is about him building resilience in it as well in the household. And also gives me a much needed break because, um, I can't do it. I can't do a hundred percent of the cooking it with my business kicking up and me trying to keep my mental health. Right. It was too much of a burden. So Roy, you need to build resilience. Terry, you need to let him do that.

Terry (20:10):

Let him do that. You. Oh my gosh. And we do have garam masala by the way,

Dr. Nicole (20:17):

He had some doll the other night. That was four. Okay. And then the third tip, when you, if you're not ready for a therapist yet, I can't believe how much this helped me with, um, with understanding myself acceptance. And there's all kinds of prompts you can find online about asking yourself questions. I've recorded asking myself questions like a therapist would act. And then I listened to it and I took notes on myself. So I kind of play the role of my own therapist. And it was amazing what came out because you're not writing. If you write, sometimes you can edit when you're just talking into the ether and you're just recording it. You forget, it's kind of there. And you're just talking. And I kind of had the printed out the questions ahead of time. I wanted to ask myself. And, um, that was a big step for me, understanding some of the triggers, um, that was dealing with my physical health because my therapist has dealt a lot with my depression and abuse as a kid and some other things, right? Like there's a lot of root things there, but there was stuff that I still need to work on that I haven't quite got to her yet. And um, so I actually recommend that more than journaling because you'll be much more free flow, but then let's do it.

Terry (21:22):

Oh yeah. Because when I journal, when I journal, I edit myself as I'm journaling. So it's like, Oh my gosh, I can't even do this. I never thought about doing that. That sounds amazing.

Dr. Nicole (21:33):

So do that. So, so that kind of rounds out, the fact that you got to work on your self-acceptance and who you are and knowing who you are and when that gets stronger. So too, will your physical health, because you'll be building on such a strong foundation. Ooh, that's a big one. Wow. Three. So the third one is overcoming survival instincts. So there's a reason why we crave what we crave. Okay. There's a reason why I'm going for the peanut butter and chocolate chips. It hits all the major cravings. I got the salt, I got the fat, I've got the sweet, um, these are things that we don't really have an off switch for. It's super, super, super tough when you're eating. Um, so here's why, because it used, so I'm just gonna talk about the five teeth real quick. Okay. But when we think, when we think about it from a survival perspective, it used to be so hard to get salt and sugar. They weren't no cutesy. Right? Okay. They didn't exist. You were finding fruit on trees and thought was very difficult to find is a reason why salt was basically money for so long. Right. Um, and umami, can you repeat after me?

Dr. Nicole (22:44):

Umami, umami.

Dr. Nicole (22:47):

Umami has a savory face. The protein that is a Japanese term for protein. Um, and so as soon as you're born, you don't like bitter. You don't like sour because those it's usually indicates something that's poisonous or toxic. Uh, salt comes a little bit later in development in terms of liking it. And salt has to do when you do eventually get those cravings has to do with keeping your body in homeostasis. So keeping all of your little workings in balance, right? Like a machine and balance. And then mommy is going to tell you, you're getting your protein, your building blocks, right? I'm actually building the stuff you need and sugar is the energy. So you can imagine if we grew up, uh, you know, our ancestors and ancestors, ancestors had a very difficult time finding these things, selective pressure in terms of evolution meant that when you've got those things, they taste good.

Dr. Nicole (23:36):

We're all good. So good that we don't really have an off switch. So you're fighting against a millennium of survival instincts at nine o'clock at night when you're tired and frustrated and grumpy or whatever the case may be in your body. Yes. The body goes, I'm done. I'm going in survival mode. So this is something that I come back into the, the, the more that you know, that you're not alone and you have people to support you and hold you accountable. The more that you're working on your self-acceptance and worse, the less problems you will have with overcoming these survival instincts, um, that did us very well as humans for a long, long time. There's a reason why we've proliferated, but in the last 30 or so years, you know, basically since the industrial revolution and then coming into processes has not served us well. That's a little,

Roy  (24:29):

Yeah, because of what it, what it, what leads up to that. Like I was saying, you know, being tired is a trigger, but that's the survival. Like I've got to wake up to survive or, you know, being frustrated, being upset, whatever it is. So that, that makes perfect sense. I like that.

Dr. Nicole (24:46):

Good. I, I wanted to put a little bit of that neuroscience in there about evolution and survival because you can't turn it off, which leads me to number 4, which is whatever you are doing. Give it your undivided attention and role. I know you don't do this. I know what your work schedule looks like. Sometimes when you're working, when you're working, you're working, when you're eating, you're eating, when you're watching TV, go for it. I love me, my murder. She wrote, you are watching don't mix and match any of those. Okay. Like, so it really comes down to, what did you learn in kindergarten and kindergarten? My daughter who's five years old is super present in the moment, super immersed. And then when that thing's done, she moves on to the next. She does not multitask that doesn't serve her. Doesn't serve anybody and especially so when it comes to when you eat, so do not do any of those things at the same time and focus on it.

Roy  (25:49):

Well, and that's one thing our, uh, the dietician that we're working with, that was one of, well, two things that she told us, I guess, was number one, do not eat supper because we suffer in front of the TV watching the news. So she said, you cut that off. And the other thing with the sleep factor, she said, turn, you know, she said, I'd rather you not watch TV in bed at all. But number two, if you have to cut it off by nine, o'clock where you can read and kind of wind down. And so we've been better at that, you know, reading when we go to bed and not getting all excited with the TV turned on, but, um, we haven't been as good about not eating in front of the, you know, the evening news. No.

Dr. Nicole (26:33):

Okay. So I'm giving you guys a few tips. It's helped me a lot. We just said we're not doing it. And every once in a while, even my daughter, when she's five, you know, and people, every once in a while, I'll let her have like a mini picnic on the floor while she's watching whatever show, but we make sure she knows that special. That's not what we always do. We sit down for dinner, we sit down for breakfast, we sit down for lunch and we talk to each other and that's it. So, but it's the same thing for work. It's not fair for your work. You're not even paying attention, what you're eating, terrible. Yeah.

Roy (27:04):

Dude, that sometimes with breakfast, you know, I may, while I'm fixing it and I'm thinking I should be doing it. So I'll bring it over, sit down at the computer. And then I end up either eating really, really fast or just dragging it out so much that I don't even know that I'm eating so guilty, guilty on that one.

Terry (27:24):

Yeah. And IF I forget to eat, which is kind of crazy sounding. I know, but you know, I'll just, I'll try to just maybe take a bite of something and just go on. Next thing I know it's like five, six hours later and I'm like, Hey, wait a minute. Something's going on? And then I'm like, yeah, I know. I'm not bragging. I've never had that problem. I just get too busy. I just got so busy.

Dr. Nicole (27:47):

Terry. I love getting immersed in my work. I love my work. I love what I do. I love my clients when I'm working out. I love that. And all of a sudden I'll be like, Oh, you didn't, you didn't eat so well, here's what I'm going to say about that. It doesn't, I'm learning from, from my nutrition specialist that she's like that she's basically saying to me, I'm not going to tell you, you have to eat all the same time. Like, there's all these other tricks that you can get to. Eventually, you just need to develop the habit of taking your time and doing it and planning it ahead of time. That's it? Right. So I'm not great about eating breakfast. I have my coffee, I help my kids get to school. I then do my workout. I got to do it right away in the morning off. It does not happen. And at about 10, I'm like, okay, I'm ready to eat something. Now that doesn't work for everyone. So it really is trusting your body. And if you are like carrying you for Dicky, then you have to have those things ready to go and plan it ahead of time. It doesn't have to be at a specific time. You just can't let yourself get to running on empty because then it all falls apart.

Roy (28:44):

Right. Right. And I've gotten better about listening to my body in the morning, because used to, I was first thing in the morning, eat the breakfast and move on. But now there, there are days that I may not be hungry till, you know, nine 30 or 10, and I may eat a boiled egg or some oatmeal, something like that. But I don't feel like I've just got to get up and have that meal. So that's important just to listen, listen to your body and when you're hungry. But like you said, not go, cause I ha I do the opposite too. You know, sometimes you don't feel it coming on. And then all of a sudden it's all over you. And you're like, so starving. You could eat everything

Terry (29:22):

Or get past your starvation point. No, sorry.

Dr. Nicole (29:28):

Well, I got you. And the other thing too, to remember, and that I'm learning more and more as I research around aging, because there's something about hitting 40, that makes you go, Oh my God. And, um, that is that we have a, our, the way that our costs work and our circadian rhythms work, they do change, they evolve. And so, you know, I used to be the person who woke up hungry and would eat a farmer's breakfast. My dad was always thought he was like, you have a tape form. And, and uh, and now I don't, and it's just is what it is. So it's every single person is different. So that's kind of why when you get out there and you're trying to find advice, you, your number one thing to do is when you're mindful, trusting yourself, that's it like paying attention, doing undivided attention. What you're doing, your body cues are there. We've just learned to, we've just been conditioned to stop paying attention to them.

Terry (30:21):

Rehab. I mean, in all aspects, all aspects of everything. I mean, it's crazy.

Dr. Nicole (30:27):

Yep. Yep. Which brings us to our right. All right. This is the most important one because it brings them all together in a lot of ways. So again, just to recap, you're not alone. inform people what you're doing. Don't be ashamed of it. Say like, boom, I am watching my sodium intake or whatever the case may be, get some online resources. And if you can get a coach to no amount of self-improvement can replace self-acceptance, you've got to work on the root issues of why you have possibly unhealthy relationships and sabotaging yourself with food. Or as you said previously, in one of your episodes, medicating with food, um, three is overcoming those survival instincts is sure it's hard, but if you're mindful, you can do it. And understanding it is a big step for undivided attention to whatever you were doing in the moment, no mixing and matching, eating, and work and TV, and all the things do one thing at a time. And the last one is detaching from the outcome. So the most important thing is that you're doing what's right in front of you because you're enjoying what you're doing right now. And it's not because of achievement at the end. And this is the hardest thing that I've had to learn is that it's not about me fitting back into jeans, which I know I'm never going to, and finally gave him the Goodwill. Like that's just not going to, and if it does, I'm going to do here. Yeah.

Terry (31:47):

Wow. That's what I'm thinking. Exactly. That's my next thought I'm buying new jeans.

Dr. Nicole (31:53):

Like when I, he asked exactly the point is that's not the end goal. The end goal is not for me to fit into some idealized number or, you know, to look good on Instagram, which if you see my Facebook live stuff, you know, I don't care and it's a better life. Yeah. So you have to just whatever that process is right now, you got to love it, which means when you're working out, do something that you love and want to do when you're cooking, put on music, have fun, taste the spices before you put them in really start playing with your mind and be like, wow, this is an experiment. This is amazing when you're eating, savor it, enjoy it, enjoy the process for the process state, because there is only right now not to get all Eckrich totally on you, but there is really only right now. And so it's going to help out so much if you get away from this thing at the outset.

Roy (32:46):

Yeah. That's important because, uh, you know, one thing that I've tried to be a better helper in the kitchen, I'm not quite there yet. And, you know, kind of going back to what you said earlier that the, uh, you know, the planning for us is the hardest part. We've gotten good about putting everything in, but, but, um, you know, we need to work on planning, but the, uh, cooking together, cutting up stuff and just being in the kitchen, that's given us that quality time that we can talk. And then I think I've mentioned this many times before, but then it also gives us a, um, a perspective to sit down and talk about the food. What could we do thinking about new dishes that we could make with, if we did this and did that. So it really kind of plays into, um, you know, our quality time and experimenting because we've become much more, I would say risk takers. I think Terry's always been good at experimenting and coming up with stuff, but now we kind of work together to, Hey, you know, let's try that. The worst thing you can do is we won't do it again next time, but go ahead and take those chances.

Terry (33:56):

And he's so good about telling me, I mean, everything that I make is the best thing he's ever. He is very appreciative, but I know those. I tried to do some pork chops. They were horrible. And he was so happy that he had them. I mean, he's so good.

Dr. Nicole (34:14):

And this is the reason why I fell in love with you too, when we connected. And I listened to your stuff, because you're basically saying like, man, we're doing it. I think the thing that really hooks me right, is when you told me, or maybe it was on one of your podcasts, when you said, first time I had tofu and I was like, someone was saying like, like this, this is a weird product. And now you love it. And I think about how much inspiration you can bring to people who are like, ah, that whew, fruit, blue, whatever, natural health tofu, that's not me. Right. You were saying like my generation, I'm a man, blah, blah, blah. And you're saying, heck no, you gonna do a lot with tofu.

Dr. Nicole (34:54):

Oh. And he asked for it,

Roy (34:57):

You know, we got, we bought two big packages last time at the grocery store. And you know, we're trying to experiment more. And yeah, I hate to talk about the same old stuff over and over. But, uh, Terry made this tow food Chile the other night. That was fabulous. I mean, you wouldn't know it and you know, and that's part of it. I think we have to get over it.

Dr. Nicole (35:19):

We're all much better than like the fake meat products with the fake meat products, um, elbow, some of them I really liked, but for the most part, they have a lot of extra carbohydrates and extra weird fats and keep it as clean as possible. Keep it as clean as possible and you can't go wrong. So I just loved that. And I think that that's an inspiration people need to hear is there are real people on this journey who were trying TOEFL for the first time and they are here for you. I hope that I hope that your listeners,

Roy (35:44):

I think I'll say this to all the other dudes out there is that, you know, we need to get over ourselves that if I'm eating a piece of brisket or I meet some tofu, it doesn't change who I am. I mean, I mean, it kind of would

Roy (35:58):

Well, no, I mean, it's going say it kind of will be kind of will because it'll, it'll make me healthier in the end, but I'm just saying it doesn't, you know, I don't, uh, don't feel my manhood is threatened because I eat some tofu. It's just, yeah.

Dr. Nicole (36:12):

So all, all of this to say is make it fun and detach yourself from any, any aspect of achievement. This isn't about achievement, although you will have milestones, but this is a never ending journey for sure. And the quicker we can, the quicker we can get away from saying like, this is an end point. That's the only thing I care about. I mean, just that's too far away. It's just is, and you got to just say in the moment being like, I love this process. I think you would love it. You will change your habits.

Roy (36:39):

Yeah. And I think that gets to the slowing things down because that's, you know, I've always been very aggressive, like, okay, we're setting, you know, some crazy, you know, five pounds a week. That's what we're shooting for and we're going to do this and then you fall short and then it's like, yeah, I just give up. And, and this is the one time that I just said, look, this is just an ongoing process. We got to do the best we can do every day. And things will just work out in the end. That's that's all you can do.

Dr. Nicole (37:08):

And the more you surround yourself with people in a similar mission, which is what we are doing here today, I would say like, I'm going to rethink this conversation today. When I think I'm going to go get those many M and M's peanut butter, and we'd be like, Nope, I don't need to. Roy and Terry got my back. Yup. So those are my five, five mental fitness tips for physical fitness. Okay. You could pop some tofu instead. Tofu cubes are real quick.

Roy (37:37):

Well, she did. She made, um, they were, she cubed them and then put them in the oven to bake and they tasted like little potato bites. Anyway. It's, we'll have to do a whole tofu cooking show, right?

Terry (37:51):

Oh my gosh.

Roy (37:56):

Well, so what is one, um, you know, we talked a little bit about this, but what's one tool or one ritual or something. That's a part that you have made a part of your daily routine that you just, you can't do without

Dr. Nicole (38:12):

[inaudible], but okay. I gotta think about daily on the bigger end therapy I cannot do without continuing to work on my mental health. Um, it just, everything falls apart when, when, when my depression takes over. So, um, that's a, that's a big thing for me, um, on the daily, on the reg though, let's see. Um,

Roy (38:36):

Well, that's important to talk about, I guess that, you know, you know, it's kind of the same. I'm going to put it in the tofu class. It's one of these things that doesn't change who we are, because we tell somebody we're going to see a therapist. It's actually, it's kind of in line. It's empowering because I can't always unload all my burdens on Terry. She does a good job with carrying my own, but don’t use your friends and family.

Terry (39:06):

No, and I think I'm a therapist because I've actually had, you know, 25 years of therapy off and on here. And I feel like, you know, every time I read something or talk to somebody, somebody like you, I'm like, well, I don't know what I'm really putting into practice. All the things that I've learned or even some of the things that I've learned, you know? So, and then I go and read some books and I'm, Oh, I love Brene Brown. I mean, all these, you know,

Dr. Nicole (39:33):

Brene Brown, this is, I was researching hashtags to use as I build my Instagram. And this, this woman said research hashtags of people that you admire. So I went on to research Brown, guess what? Brene Brown doesn't even need to use hashtags because everybody knows who she is. Okay.

Terry (39:48):

That is so true. Oh my gosh, I cannot get enough of her. I really cannot.

Dr. Nicole (39:55):

So yes. So therapy has been a big deal. And, um, my dad put this really well. Uh, he said, when you, when, if you like crack your head open, are you going to ask your husband to fix you? And I said, Oh, hail. Now it's the same thing with your brain. Like your, your brain has things going on. And there are professionals who are there to help you. Don't burden your family. I mean, inform your family, but you can't expect friends and family to be your therapist. Right. And it also makes for terrible relationships. You've got to inform and talk, but do the real hard work and the inner work with someone who is equipped to deal with and doesn't have an in the fire to be perfectly honest. Exactly, exactly.

Terry (40:35):

And asking for, I mean, asking for help, you know, like we were talking about earlier, it's just such a hard thing to do, but you know, you're really strong if you do it because you know what your limitations are, you know, what, you know, what you need to work on and you do need the help because you're not the professional.

Roy (40:52):

And the other thing I would say on that is, uh, you know, for the audience, don't let cost stand in the way, because there are a lot of resources, even in every community. If you live in a rural environment, now we have telemedicine and things. So I just, you know, a note to anybody that is suspects that you needed is just reach out and ask for you. You really can't go wrong.

Dr. Nicole (41:17):

Yeah, exactly. And, and you can reach out to any professional therapist and say like, maybe I can't afford you. They have lists of resources. They can say, put you in touch with the County or put you in touch with the city and find out who's doing pro bono worker. Um, there's a lot of helplines now because of COVID right. You know that on one hand, but really good on the other hand for mental health.

Roy (41:35):

So that'll be our message for today. Yeah.

Dr. Nicole (41:38):

Oh, go ahead. I didn't answer on what I do daily on the reg.

Terry (41:43):

Okay. Avoiding, avoiding.

Dr. Nicole (41:47):

Yes. Um, I would just say music. I, I put on my music and I live in the city, so I'm sure my neighbors don't love it super loud. And I don't, I don't work out super early and that's when I, I just put it on, like, I pretend like I'm, you know, 19 again in college, I just black music and I get to work at that show. Good. And right now I can do it outside. So it feels great. I don't think I could live without music.

Terry (42:12):

Do you scream sing to it or do you just listen to it?

 

Dr. Nicole

No, no, no, no, no. I just listened to it. No. Are you kidding? So out of shape that my workouts are like, I'm just barely breathing

Terry (42:24):

In your car. Oh. When I do it, when I listen to music in my car, I turn it up really loud and I scream sing so I can't hear myself, but it feels exhilerating, it is so, Oh my gosh.

Dr. Nicole (42:37):

Well, simple things, but there's a lot of neuroscience research that supports that what music can do to our brainwaves and bring down our stress. So if it can get drained down my stress and get me through my workout three, John. Yes.

Roy (42:53):

Well, Dr. Nicole, we certainly appreciate you taking time out of your day to talk with us. This has been awesome. And I'm gonna really keep after you to come back and talk to us about the, uh, the five tastes that we've, you know, hit a little bit on. I think that would be an, uh, it'd be awesome to have you back to talk about that.

Dr. Nicole (43:13):

It would be my pleasure. This has been amazing.

Roy (43:16):

So why don't you tell everybody, you know, I know that you do some consulting and training, but you may want to tell everybody, you know, kind of what your talk target client is, who that is. And then also, uh, all the ways in which they could get ahold of you to find out more.

Dr. Nicole (43:33):

Yeah, I appreciate that. Um, my current claim for consulting and training is typically small to medium size food companies and beverage companies, um, who are beginning on a growth stage. And so need some systems, someone who can come in and understand the sensory side of it, but also system side. So, um, I do that and then my keynotes fly all over the, all over the place, really, because it just depends. I mean, mental health is everywhere, so it, there's not really an audience for that, except for people who really want to step up and say being vulnerable is okay. And so I can kind of make depression funds in a little bit of ways and at least help people own it, like I've owned it. So those are the two places. And then on the interwebs, you can find me at doc G a R N E a U, which is at dot Garneau. So that's my handle on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, where I, I tried to go live every day with my docs daily downloads.

Roy (44:28):

Oh, okay. Awesome. Well, again, we want to thank you so much for being here and it's been a pleasure speaking with you. I've learned a lot. Uh, also want to just remind everybody, you can find us at www.feedingfatty.com on Twitter at feedingfattypod and Instagram at feedingfatty. If you're a professional in the space, or if you have an awesome success story, you'd like to share with us, please reach [email protected]. We'd love to talk to you about being a potential guest for this time. I'm Roy, I’m Terry.

Roy (45:08):

Thank you.