Beliefs Drive Behavior, Talk To Your Inner Child To See Why You Feel That Way
Feeding Fatty
English - May 25, 2021 09:30 - 1 hour - 65.8 MB - ★★★★★ - 3 ratingsNutrition Health & Fitness Education health diet eating Homepage Download Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
Beliefs Drive Behavior, Talk To Your Inner Child To See Why You Feel That Way with Dee Woolridge
What are your triggers? Is it an unconscious need to protect ourselves? If we are lacking pleasure, we are going to seek it. This explains when some people eat or drink to excess, do drugs, sex or other ways to fulfil that need for pleasure. The first step to mindset is being mindful. Think self love, take time to love yourself.
About Dee
Specialist on Resilience, Mindset, and Communication
As a result of her speaking, coaching, and writing, deep has helped thousands of people stop the cycle of self-sabotage and realized their significance. They speak up, stand up, and show up as the leader in their own lives. They move beyond stuck to live and work within their genius.
Dee Woolridge, a specialist in the effective communication, success mindset, and resilience, is a bestselling author and writer of numerous self-help books, she is the founder of two training and development companies. One that helps young adults on the autism spectrum.
Dee is a 30-year U.S. Navy veteran covering three wars she LED at the executive officer level and was a military consultant in Hollywood. She is the 9th of 13 siblings, a breast cancer survivor, and parents of a daughter with autism. Oorah....she's married to a Marine
Also, a clinical hypnotherapist, gifted spiritual counselor, and light worker, Dee has an open, friendly demeanor, and conversation is one of the things she does best. She relates well to military audiences, women, shows on spirituality, disabilities (autism), entrepreneurship, Wellness, mental health, emotional intelligence breast cancer, self-help and personal development.
Full Transcript Below
Beliefs Drive Behavior, Talk To Your Inner Child To See Why You Feel That Way
Sat, 5/22 1:48PM • 1:03:24
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
eat, mindset, body, hypnosis, belief, feeding, people, pleasure, banana split, food, roy, called, sprouts, wheat grass, terry, dee, journey, hungry, feeling, thinking
SPEAKERS
Terry, Dee, Roy Barker
Roy Barker 00:15
Hello, and welcome to another episode of feeding fatty. This is Roy.
Terry 00:18
I'm Terry.
Roy Barker 00:19
So we are the podcast journaling my, I guess chronicling my journey to wellness and you know, as I've aged wellness is become a much bigger importance because I want to age well, I don't want to outlive my wellness. And so what we do is we bring you some episodes based on some things that we're trying. And then we also bring guests professionals in different fields to the show to talk to us about different things that we can do to help ourself and so, Terry, I'm gonna let you introduce our guest today, the Dee Woolridge
Terry 00:52
Yes, as a result of her speaking, coaching and writing Dee has helped 1000s of people stop the cycle of self sub sabotage and realize their significance. They speak up, stand up and show up as the leader in their own lives. They move beyond stuck to live and work within their genius. Dee Woolridge, a specialist in effective communication success, mindset and resilience is a best selling author, and writer of numerous self help books. She's the founder of two training and development companies, one that helps young adults on the Autism spec spectrum. Dee is a 30 year US Navy veteran covering three wars, she lead at the executive officer level and was a military consultant in Hollywood. She's the ninth of 13 siblings, a breast cancer survivor and parents of a daughter and parent of a daughter with autism. Oorah. Hi, Dee, welcome to the show. I just wanted to say that my dad was there for
Dee 01:56
me, Terry and I, Roy. That's right, the Air Force doesn't really have a call. No. And that call really belongs to the the Marine Corps. That Ron, we just kind of borrowed it from them because we carry them around.
Roy Barker 02:14
Yeah, that's what, that's what some movie, they said something, you know, the little rivalry between the Marines and the Navy and said, like, Hey, we y'all are just our transportation.
Dee 02:25
And we are
Roy Barker 02:28
great, well, thanks so much for taking time to be with us. You know, one thing that we talk about a lot in this journey is mindset. Because, you know, the reality is, is I could go, you know, I'm overweight enough, I think I could probably go qualify for surgery, or have other things done. But my, my hesitation for that has always been that if I don't change my mindset, I will never change my body. And because I know people who have, you know, done the different things and had had failure, because they just continued to eat, or drink consumed calories in some manner that just exceeded you know, what they were expanding. And I know, it's not always just about calories in calories out. But you know, we kind of have to have some kind of an equilibrium there. So it's a pleasure, you know, thanks for taking time to be with us and help us, you know, with this part of the part of that journey.
Dee 03:21
For sure, it's an, it's I know, it's important to you, Roy. And, and it's important to me, also. And it's important for that I live, what I teach, so that I can teach it well, right? So mindset is everything. And even with our wellness.
Roy Barker 03:43
So what are some things that you what are some challenges that you see that your clients have in trying to get the mindset, right, and some things that you've done to help them?
Dee 03:55
Well, there's, I think there's two parts to if we're talking Wait, in particular, one reason is triggers, you know, what our triggers are and then we have this unconscious feed into the trigger. And then the other thing is the unconscious protection of, of our body of our of ourselves. So, for example, if we are feeding ourselves because we are lacking pleasure, because eating is pleasurable. Yes, you know, and if we're lacking pleasure in our lives in some place, then we were always going to seek it out. We're going to figure out how to make ourselves feel good. So that's why people eat an excess or drink in excess because it makes them feel good, because they're filling a hole that that's not being filled somewhere else. Okay? That that pleasures Enter. So other people do it with drugs, they do it with sex. There's different kinds of ways to fill that pleasure. And so that's one thing. And the other thing is, we have an unconscious way of protecting ourselves. And we'll do it like even from stress. So if you and I know this about me, so if I'm, if I'm working on something, and then I get to a place where it's particularly hard, I'll get up, and then I'll go right to the pantry.
Roy Barker 05:35
I guess I had an episode like that just the other day, rather.
Dee 05:40
And the, what I'm doing is trying to get back to that trying to get rid of that uncomfortable feeling that's in my body. So you know, we, when we're hungry, are our body sends a signal to our mind, we're hungry. So there's a discomfort that's going on. And so we associate that discomfort with beating ourselves feeding ourselves. So we use it in every other thing that we do. Okay, if we're not, if we're in a state of discomfort with, you know, with work, we don't like that feeling. How do I get rid of that feeling? Oh, I'm used to eating. And what eating does is slow down the digestive system, or gives the body something else to do and concentrate on. So we're not concentrating on that hard thing, that stressful
06:35
thing? Okay,
Roy Barker 06:37
no, and it's funny. I mean, I was kind of joking. But it just the other day, it wasn't necessarily like, Oh, my gosh, moment of heart or stress, it was just, you know, kind of bumped up something I was thinking about. And I thought, I got out my chair turned around the head of the kitchen, thinking, you know, I'll get me a little something to hate. But that's interesting how that how, you know how you explain that about it, kind of that unconscious thing, because it is in the past while notice, you know, you run in there and get something to eat, and you eat it. And they think, oh, gosh, I shouldn't have done that. You know. And I think the other thing that you talk about too, is that feeling of hunger. One thing, and I verbalize this to Terry, so I can talk it out, but it's separating the feeling of a little hunger twins from the feeling of death. And it's like, Okay, that was just a little hunger thing. It doesn't mean, it doesn't mean that if you don't eat, you may die in the next five minutes. There's no urgency to run in there. Because a lot now, we've been really working hard on the last week to get back on track. And so I feel that little hunger and I go get a glass of water or you know, something else.
Dee 07:48
And it passes, you're hungry, you should eat, you know, because our body is doing exactly what it's supposed to do what it was built to do to tell us when to eat that we're hungry. But the other times, we have to ask ourselves, what are we really hungry for? Right? You know, am I Seeking Safety, satisfaction? Pleasure to get rid of that discomfort? So, you know, what are you really hungry for so that is the that's the thing, or am I thirsty? Yeah.
Roy Barker 08:19
Well, I'm
Dee 08:20
getting that question. And you know, what am I really hungry for? Yeah, am I bored? Do I need excitement here?
Roy Barker 08:26
So you know, that's me. And let me rephrase my what I say when I say hunger, I mean, maybe a little twinge in my stomach, not like full blown stomach, ground. But that's the thing is, you know, in the past, it's that, that very first trigger, like it's just kind of that little empty feeling. It's like to go fill that hole. But then the other thing, like you said to is the excitement and one of the funniest things when I first realized that is, you know, Terry was out running around, she called me one day and said, I'm heading back home. Are you about ready for lunch? And I said, Yeah, I am. I'm getting kind of hungry. And so then, in my mind, I'm getting all excited because I'm thinking, Oh, she's gonna go buy chick fil a, and she's gonna get us a chicken sandwich. And then she said, Okay, well, we've got some leftover salmon and expired asparagus in the fridge, right? And I just deflated
Terry 09:18
and I heard it over the phone. I could see it, you know,
Roy Barker 09:21
and luckily, I kind of had some self realization there. But I'm like, wow, I was putting way too much emphasis on this takeout lunch to make, you know, excite me or make me happier, be something different from the day. It's strange.
Dee 09:37
Because that's the pleasure in it. Eating is pleasurable, you know, food is, is delicious. That's why they put that you can make food delicious, right? So there's a difference between feeding hunger and satiating the hunger. So you can eat and then you just go that just wasn't good. Like you're But you're not satisfied, right? And that that makes you eat more, because you're trying to satisfy whatever pleasure it is that you're looking for. Yeah. So making healthy delicious food is the best deal. That's, that's the best and it's
Roy Barker 10:21
no fault to Terry's but just for me dressing,
Terry 10:24
was it really dangling a carrot?
Roy Barker 10:26
I No, no, no, I didn't mean making healthy delicious food. It's just, it's hard for me to seize on some vegetables or something. Something that is healthy. Goodness knows she tries very hard to jazz stuff up and hide it in this and turn it around and make it that but sometimes I can just always tell it's a it's a vegetable that one
Terry 10:51
can't do? Well, how do we find out? Which pleasure we're trying to go after? I mean, how do we find that out?
Dee 11:02
You ask yourself and so that that's part of the the mindset thing is, is first is being mindful? Are you guys familiar with you know, with being mindful? is just being in the moment right? Not in the past? Not in the future? Just a moment? Yes. And observing What's going on? Okay. So and then you can do that with with your body? You know, with the body scans, this is from head to toe, what do I feel in my head, and my throat and my my chest and my stomach? And you can when you're mindful you know your body You know, when you when you're used to doing that body scan? If you do that every day, you know your body then you know when you're hungry. You know when you when it's when is boredom or you're seeking pleasure or happiness or or something else besides food? Because you're so in tune with your body. Yeah, so just starting starting there with being mindful.
Roy Barker 12:08
The other thing Terry is kind of pushed me into doing a little more is the mindfulness actually, when we eat to help, it seems to have helped me slow down and not eat as much because if I'm sitting here at my desk, eating or if I'm up walking around, or you know, watching the TV or whatever, sometimes it's like you're not really paying attention. It's just the process. Yeah, you're just shoveling it. And then you find out you know, he passed home you pass being not hungry about five minutes ago, but yet you're still here eating.
Dee 12:42
Yeah, it's like, that's why by I used to love Doritos. I mean, like, Doritos were great. But I couldn't eat a little bag, I had to have the family size. And then I would just eat mindlessly, right? Just eating them. While I stopped doing that, and just getting a small bag because I wanted to savor them. So was mindful about how long it was taking me to eat one chip, right? Because I wanted to make it last. So I could eat that one bag, that one small bag. At the same time. The same rate, I could eat a big bag, but I'm eating less. Yeah. The other one is just crunching through them. And I'm not paying attention to what I'm putting into my body until I started keeping a log that I just did it for three days. And I was just discussing, I was like, okay, three days.
13:40
Oh my,
Dee 13:40
I'm good. I see this. And these are easy things to break. Because one of the things that I'm about mindset is self love. is loving yourself. You can drive past Wendy's and say that's not loving me. That's not loving me. So I started doing that. years ago when I had breast cancer and I went straight raw vegan. So, Roy, you're saying, you know the vegetables? That's all I had was the festivals. I didn't even have fruit because it had too much sugar. And the vegetables were mostly raw. You couldn't cook them pass 130 degrees. Oh, well. So and I did that for three years, three years and three years. Yeah. But that's I did that instead of chemotherapy. So what I was doing was feeding my body was improving my health instead of tearing it down with a chemotherapy drug which kills everything right? what I was doing was building my immune system up and making my body more alkaline. And you do that with raw vegetables, were all organic vegetables interesting. And I lost weight. Because of that not because I was trying to it was because because I was eating clean. Now, I'm, I'm not a raw vegan now. But that lifestyle I was it was all about self love and helping myself feel better. Like, I felt like I was tearing my body down because I didn't love me enough, I would put everything before me and then just throw some stuff in my face, Feed my face, whatever, and go help somebody else I was good at helping other people but not me. And that showed in in my weight it showed in my skin, it showed in my hair. It showed in my quality of sleep, because I wasn't caring for myself. And then it manifested into cancer. After that, and there's some other mindset things going on with that too was relationship with my mother and other things that I was trying to disguise or mask with food. And cancer was the Okay, you can do this or you can die. You know. So I changed my whole life with changing the way I ate and how I thought about food, food was medicine, instead of pleasure eating, you know, the redoes you know, and then just like drive in Platt pass those places. I would say, if I craved it, when I would say to myself, that's not loving me. That's tearing me down. Would I let anybody tear me down? Nope. So I would drive past it. And then I stopped even seeing the chick fil A's. I stopped even seeing the McDonald's and the Wendy's and the places I used to go because my husband said this a Popeye's chicken over there. And I go Really? It goes. I was like, I've been driving past here for three years. I haven't seen it. It's like Yeah, because it wasn't even in my conscious awareness. I would be looking for the whole foods, you know, the sprouts. So those those kind of places where I can get the healthy food for me? Does that make sense? Yeah, it
Roy Barker 17:28
was just a, it was the way I was thinking my on my radar. That's what it was on my radar, what were the best places that would serve my body and keep me well. So again, back to the interesting concept about the pleasures about I guess I'm that way as well, when you drive down the road is that you? You see that as that's pleasurable or adventurous. And it's, you know, we're trying to go with this mindset of, we eat food to live and you know, I'd like if you want to tell us more, I'd be glad to, you know, would be interested in hearing your story about the cancer and eating claim because we have been trying, you know, we're not totally vegetable or plant based. But we're trying to move that way. And we've, yeah, we've been this week and you know, we're getting rid of some things but we're trying to move plant based for a lot of things the we've heard the digestive system works 80% of the time, you know, burns 80% of the time trying to digest food and so the other thing we've tried to do is do a little intermittent fasting as well and I tell you what, I can tell the inflammation in my own arm injury is way down because it had gotten so bad, you know, the last four or five weeks and I couldn't even you know, move it across the front my body without it hurting but inflammations down the sleep is better just like this morning. You know, I made up my mind I'm sleeping in till you know whenever I wake up and you know about 536 o'clock, Ma'am, I'm I was up without an alarm and you know, feeling energetic, not just an old drowsy, wake up. So But anyway, if you want to, if you don't mind, you can expand on that. I'm interested to hear about that.
Dee 19:15
Sure, um, first of all, I'm not a dietitian, or nutritionist. This is just my journey. Yes, yes. So I was looking for alternative ways to treat cancer. Because I was always, even though I was a vegetarian, vegetarian slash vegan. I was a junk food vegetarian vegan, which means I had Doritos as one of the food groups made from corn, and processed cheese. It's not even real and things like that. So um, so even though I didn't eat meat, I said Ate poorly, which contributed to, to my bad health. And when I was diagnosed with cancer, I had to make some decisions like everybody else does, like what kind of treatment are you going to have? Are you going to have surgeries are you going to do all of these things. So I was looking for alternative ways to, to treat it. And I found this Health Institute called Hippocrates. And I drove down and went to their, their day of orientation, we tasted the food, they wish they showed us the grounds, because you you can live on site, it's like going away. So went away for six weeks. And they have a medical staff on premises, you know, they, they have your diagnosis, and they design a plan for you. But mostly, and you can, for people that are interested in this, you don't have to be sick to do this, you actually want to do this before you're sick. You know? And there's lots of videos if you just go to YouTube and look up Hippocrates. And you can they have many videos on why the food, the food that we that we just go to the store is damaged, basically, you know, and we all know about GMOs and, and all of those kinds of things. So try to eat. So eating vegetables is not just one thing but eating organic, that don't have pesticides, even we even got down to like the type of underwear that I wore, you know, was it cotton? Or was it all synthetic and polyester because it doesn't breathe, your skin needs to breathe. So I feel things when I go to the store and I'm just like this is dysplastic I'm not you know, my my I'm not going to be able to breathe, my skin's not going to be able to get what it needs from that. The mattress that I I bought you know I got rid of the old mattress and now that the matches that I have is a Stearns and foster was what is this just cotton and wool? You know, it doesn't have any of the synthetic stuff on it because everything else has chemicals and things in it. So I was like strict, strict on all of those things still. As far as the food is concerned, it was his juicing. And then it was raw veggies, lots of sprouts, everything that is in its first stages of growth. So sprouted foods, sprouted grain if you're eating bread. So those kinds of things that are healthier for you.
Roy Barker 22:46
I just asked her yesterday we bought something and it said sprouted and I asked her what does that mean? So
Terry 22:52
thanks for some sprouted lentils. And
22:55
yes, so that
Roy Barker 22:56
just means that it's young, younger in the growing cycle.
Dee 23:00
That's when it's, it's the most nutritious, okay? Because it is the like you can even get vinegar that has the mother. That means that it's giving life. So you want to get food that's in the giving life stage. Okay? Because if you if you get go to a store and you get broccoli and it's slim, there's no life force in it, it can't give you anything, okay, so you want to get veggies and fruit as close to off the vine or off of out of the ground as you can get them because that's when it's going to be most life giving. So if they're frozen if you're eating frozen vegetable, if they're frozen at the at their ripest or if you can sprout your own mung beans and I did that for a while I grew my own wheat grass. Because I you know, doing the three years I did regress twice a week. I mean, I'm sorry, twice a day. Oh, wow. Okay, now just squeeze in a week. Yeah. You know, you take a bunch of wheat grass, you take this much of wheat grass and you get this much juice.
24:14
Oh my god,
Dee 24:14
but that juice the wheatgrass juice and you can look that up. And this is something that you might want to look into Roy, because it's going to cleanse your body. Like all the waste that your body is holding on to that's what makes you sick. And that's what makes you stay fat. Okay,
Roy Barker 24:33
I'll check that up.
Dee 24:34
It's wheat grass and sunflower seeds, sprouts. You know, there's those that you put on your salad, it's gonna make your salad. Don't put wheat grass on your on your salad but sprouts put them on your salad. wheatgrass the body can't break down is to phosphorus. fibrous, so you want to juice that oak but spring outs, like broccoli sprouts, they have flavor. So if you if you're having a sandwich like zucchini, man, I'm telling you guys come to my house. And it'll be delicious. Okay, because it has to be because otherwise you're gonna want to go eat somewhere else. Yeah. But if you do, you know, a simple wrap, like, you take a Ezekiel bread wrap, because it's it sprout it, and then you spread hummus on it. And then you put a layer of sprouts, and then zucchini. Okay, and then you can put some shredded carrots and put peppers, things like every all of these things that have flavor, and then sprinkle some. I go to Zoe's and get there. Do you guys have always there? It's like a Mediterranean restaurant. Yes. And and I buy their seasoning. Okay, because it's already mixed. It's all instead of me going to my cabinet and getting all this stuff I love there's so I just I put it on everything. And then to some salt and pepper. And then you roll that up and you have this fresh. So good. Sounds great. Yeah, it just happens in there. And then there's, they make. It's, I think the food industry is catching on. Now. They're making more plant based foods.
Roy Barker 26:43
Yeah.
Dee 26:45
So you know, if you shop but you just have to know where to shop to get them. You know, to get the things that tastes delicious.
Roy Barker 26:53
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your story. If you want us finish, tell us about your journey. I just think I thought it was interesting that we were just talking about the sprouts, sprouts last night because I was like, I don't even know what's good. Yeah.
Dee 27:06
It's good. It's good. So basically, that's the story is just, you know, I went to the Health Institute, instead of going to chemotherapy, and I didn't know what I was gonna do. I was like, you know, you don't know what you're gonna do. Everybody's coming to you, hey, do this, read this book, drink that take this shot, go to that place. I mean, everybody was an expert in cancer. You know, everybody is my cousin had cancer. And she did this, you know, so everybody's telling you all of these things. And you don't know which one to do. Everybody's journey is different. So I did go to the oncologist and sign up to have chemo and had an appointment to get my port put in. And I remember sitting there thinking to myself, I cannot do this. I cannot do this, but I went, because that was an option, right. And on the day, I was supposed to start my first I to get my port put in. I found myself on the road drive into Hippocrates. Wow, I don't even know why I got the money to go to Hippocrates because it wasn't $12.
Roy Barker 28:17
Right.
Dee 28:19
But I went I showed up. And the first part of it was just a detox like that first week. I was just detoxing. My head was hurting all the time. You know, and I had, I had three roommates. And all of us were crappy. You know, if you ever had a headache, and somebody is trying to talk to you, or you hear somebody else talking on the phone, like everything was bothering me, oh my god. So but then everybody was going through this, this detox. And then we just were you know, we're building the body up. And it wasn't just food. There were also different treatments. Asana, I still do sauna. I have a personal sauna. I do a sauna three times a week. It helps with detoxify your body. If you have cellulite. That's toxins in the body. Okay, yeah, I've
Roy Barker 29:11
heard that that there's a guy that he actually developed a like a sauna routine because Well number one, it's you know, I've always heard it just sweats the poisons out of your body but he had developed this routine where you know, you go in for so long and then you come out cold shower, hydrate, yeah, go back in but it was a whole process that he developed.
Dee 29:34
We had all of that there. Okay, it's a cold plunge. Okay, so you come out of the sauna, and then you go into the cold plunge. And then you go into the it's a saltwater pool. So and they had all of those things there for us. So, coming out of a hot sauna going into a cold plunge pool. It's like needles on your skin. It wasn't something because you're supposed to just play To the pool, oh, yikes. So I would just step in and then want the needles, needles, needles, and I get down in it for a little bit. And then I go to the saltwater pool. So we did that, draining the lymphatic system, getting the lymphatic system going, because that's also how you are releasing toxins from the body. So just jumping on a trampoline. So in the morning, we get up and jump on a trampoline. Or you can go to the you know, the little personal trampoline, or go to the, to the gym, and there was this thing that we stood on and it was Shake, shake. So all of those things are releasing the toxins plus colonics. I know that sounds extreme. But look, I had cancer. Yeah. colonics. And we were doing go to the website and see all the stuff that we were doing because it may sound extreme to the people and I don't want to scare people. Eating was just part of it. How we were treating our body, this vessel that carries our soul. What is the important thing and loving ourselves?
Terry 31:16
Well, and How is your health now? That was three years ago? You said?
Dee 31:22
That was 2013? Okay. Oh,
Terry 31:25
that was a long. Okay. Okay.
Dee 31:27
That was 2013 No, I I said I was raw vegan for three. Yeah. Okay, so I, I am, I call myself a flex, vegetarian now because I eat meat sometimes. And I eat meat when I crave it. Yeah, if I, if I'm craving it, that means that it's something from the meat that my body needs. But most of the of the time, you know, like I said, I'll make a wrap. Or I will have a, you know, some kind of I like this brand is it's a frozen brand is called rabbit. I think it's called rabbit food. But it's like, you know, the their bowls, and they have qinhuai and veggies and all kinds of really good stuff in in those. Okay, so, and I eat pizza, cuz I love it. Well, you know, but I, you know, I'm just making sure I know that when I'm eating it. I'm just like I call I know what I'm eating. But most of the time is, you know, I try to eat clean.
Roy Barker 32:34
Now, that's our approach is that, you know, it's not, if we wanted meat or fish or whatever, it's definitely okay to go have it, it's just, if we're not craving it, trying to stay off of it, just, you know, like you said, Our body is a vessel and we need, we need to take care of it. And because what we see is so many people you get once you get into older, become older, then all of a sudden, you know, you start having things happen because of the way you live when you're younger, and then you can't recover from that. And so, you know, my hope is to be in a little bit better place. But anyway, I think the the body as a vessel because it has the eating, but then we have to think about our sleep, our mindset, you know, we need to have that positive outlook gratitude. And you can, you know, I'd be glad for you to speak to that portion of it as well.
Dee 33:28
Yeah, mindset is everything. I mean, my I do this thing with my clients where it is I help them with their life categories. Okay, so life categories are things like work home, education, leisure time, how you, how you spending your life, and I have them, choose the categories and then rank them. So I show them an example of mine. And spirituality is ranked number one in mind. And my spirituality doesn't mean church, because I haven't been to church and I don't know how long because I that's not how I do spirituality. My spirituality is all encompassing, it is my personal connection to what I call source. And when and how I commune with source is through meditation. I believe that prayer is talking to source or talking to God and meditation is listening for the answer. So that is when I'm quiet. You know, I may go to source with a request or a need or even gratitude, and then it's my turn to listen for the answer. is an in that quiet is when I get the things that I need. I used to go I don't know, I don't know, I don't know and spending 30 years in the military, that wasn't an acceptable answer. I don't know. So I descripted from my vocabulary I was I rarely said, I don't know. It was, I will go find out. Let me check on that. Yeah, that's what I substituted. I don't know what so saying it, I don't know was it was like a failure to me. So I had to get over that I had to get over is over, saying that there was something wrong with me not knowing. And then going into meditation, saying, I don't know what to do. Help me. I don't know what's next. I don't know the answer, and just being still and quiet. And then I would just, I would hear it, or I would dream it, or I'd be in the shower, and I would just be downloaded with all of this information. When you were I got a lot of my inspiration. Like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna do that. Let me Hurry up and get out of here. So I can go and do it. Yeah. But it was always the answer to what I was needing. But I had to be in that space to listen to it. And I did that all through my cancer journey. That's when I was the closest to God is through that journey? Because that's when I just surrendered and said, I don't know what to do. I don't know what the answer is. You know, I'm, I'm just surrendered into this. And I'm just going to go where I'm led to go. So that is my mindset with this is there is a spiritual answer to every problem. And that comes from Dr. Wayne Dyer. Wayne Dyer, Dwayne Dyer, Wayne Dyer. Wayne Dyer. So he says, There's that and he actually wrote a book called there's a spiritual answer to every problem. And that's what I believe. So my mindset is, how do I get help for whatever this problem is, that I can't solve? By what I already know. Then I go outside of me for that resource, not to my husband, or my uncle Jimmy, who uncle Jimmy is like, he's like, he's the vegan max. Man. I'm telling you, he's anything you want to know about veganism. My uncle. We had a whole conversation yesterday, he was telling me something else to eat. But anyways. So in the spiritual practice, stems everything else that I do in life. It's my coaching. It's, it's the work with my clients. It's the speaking as the workshop is the books that I wrote, they all come from that stillness, that moment, those moments when I've just been quiet. So I'm divinely directed on everything that I do. So that gives me this positive feeling that feeds into everything. And all that stuff that used to bring me down that I used to care about, I don't anymore the things, you know, that I used to care about what other people thought about me or my family, and how things looked. You talk about optics, especially about being a naval officer, everything was how things looked. Right. How you present yourself, and I used to tell my husband before we went places, okay, we're going in with my people. Don't talk about your toenails. Okay, so my husband is a marine. And so, we had these two, two sets of friends and he was enlisted Marine, and I was a naval officer. So to to set two different sets of types of people. So I felt most comfortable with my husband's people. But my work was these people from the Navy, the Naval Academy and Admiral disan. Captain this in general, that, you know, so and I was a public affairs officer. So I did a lot of work with, with the higher echelon in in the Navy. So when we went to these affairs, I would tell my husband, okay, we're not with the grunts. Gonna have to do this because this is how it looks. And this is my community. The community is small and everybody talks. If I want You get promoted, then you need to be polished when we go to these things. So my husband goes on staying home.
Terry 40:09
Oh, man, I don't blame him for that at
Roy Barker 40:11
all. It's interesting, though.
Dee 40:14
Yeah. Oh, no, I'm
Roy Barker 40:14
sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. No, go ahead. No, I'm just gonna say it's interesting because I have another business show, and I just had a conversation with the guy. And we were covering these kind of the same things like the recruiting, you know, we were talking about knowledge on paper versus I want somebody that is self reliant enough or self
Terry 40:39
confident?
Roy Barker 40:40
Well, I guess mindfulness of themself or in their moment that it's like, they don't have to have every answer. You have to know when to go seek the answer, and or how to go seek the answer, not necessarily having all the answers. And then the other thing about the facade is, you know, a lot of businesses, you know, there's a great book, and I wish I could she's an upcoming guest on the business show, but she talks about that most businesses have a facade, you know, you look at it, and you think, well run this is this, but once you pull the curtain back, there's total disorganization, and everything behind that. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I just think it's, it's a parallel to our personal life. I mean, we've got to get our personal life squared away. And what's important to us and I like that spiritual side, because I'm the same way my, my connection right now, you know, is going for a walk, I can take a 15 minute walk, and it's like, cleansed fresh ideas coming in. And but you know, when you're sitting here, on the computer, or right in the midst of it's hard to, it's hard to gain that clarity sometimes.
Dee 41:52
Until you get up and walk away. Yeah. Yeah, and release the mind, you're releasing this, the subconscious mind. When the subconscious mind is engaged, it's going to, it's in charge, basically, because it's feeding you all the things that you believe. And then when you get up and go for a walk, you disengage from that subconscious mind and you're conscious. That's why mindfulness is so important. You're not on autopilot anymore, which is the subconscious. It's, this is how we do this. This is our regular routine. This is what we believe in, and how we do it. When you're conscious, you can change it.
Roy Barker 42:35
Okay. And
Terry 42:36
so, I was gonna, I'm sorry, I was gonna ask so how, how much time do we spend subconsciously thinking versus consciously thinking like throughout the day or week are?
Dee 42:51
Your subconscious mind is 24 747, that's 24 seven that's always on 24 seven. So like, when you go to sleep, you're not conscious. You're not dead, but your conscious mind is engaged. But your subconscious mind is Yeah, yeah. You know, so it's always going on it's always it's, it's a tape this plane in the background even now.
Roy Barker 43:18
So how does, how does hypnosis tie into this? Because I guess it it kind of reaches out to what's in the the unconscious mind to pull that forward? Is that a correct way to explain that? Well,
Dee 43:37
somebody use my hands for that. There's these four, four pieces on that decides our behavior. Okay? So are five pieces, there's events that go on in our lives from zero to 10 years old when we're babies to about 10 years old. When information is just coming in. And then it gets stored in the subconscious mind like a file like file cabinets. And some of that information changes. If we can disprove it, like Santa Claus. Hopefully no children listening. Oh, sorry, guys. Yeah. There's no Santa, Santa Easter Bunny Tooth Fairy, all those things that we are taught or shown when we're children. We're excited about them when we're when we're kids. And then something comes along for us to disprove those things. So they're not stored anymore. They're stored as a memory, but then we still have the truth with them. Then there's other things like if you for example, if you believe in God, if you believe in God than that, and and that is your rock solid belief and you and it's there until unless some Then comes along to disprove it, it is your belief. Right? Right. So we have trillions of these beliefs. Because they've, we've been conditioned with them as kids. As Don Miguel Ruiz says, he's the author of the Four Agreements. He says, we've been domesticated, to believe these things. Like this color is blue, that's red, this is yellow, we've agreed that these are the things our beliefs, so. And then along with those benign beliefs, like the colors, we have events that happen in our life, say, for example, you burned yourself on the stove. And so now the belief is fire is hot. Fire is dangerous, it's an event. And you remember it, because it was a traumatic event or something profound that happens. So that is the event that causes the belief. Events, or, or repetition and conditioning causes the belief. Why is that important? Because I beliefs make us feel the beliefs make us emotional. And that emotion is what drives the behavior. Okay. So for example, if, when it comes to our health, if as children, we were conditioned, that sugar is bad, sugar is bad, sugar is bad, we were never given sugar. So our belief is, sugar is bad. The feeling is when you get something that has a lot of sugar in it, you will just go you're feeling oh my goodness, this is just so bad for me as you're feeling. So you You're, you're really pointing in about whatever that is, or sugars dangerous. So you have fear around it. So what you do is when somebody serves you ice cream is you push it away. That's the behavior. So if fork and the opposite is if someone always if you did something great. And you were rewarded with cake. Yeah, your belief is, yeah, when I do something great. I'm reward, this is a reward to have something sweet. And that makes you feel good about yourself. And then a splendid Dairy Queen.
Roy Barker 47:35
Exactly, exactly.
Dee 47:37
So you're getting the pleasure from that eating things is pleasurable, and it makes me feel like a winner. It is my reward. interest. So the behavior is I aced this thing at work. Now I'm going to Dairy Queen, that's the behavior, right? So the subconscious mind all this beliefs, drives the behavior. And everything that we do. It's all coming from the belief. So how. So if you want to change a behavior, you need to figure out what the belief is that drives this drive in that feeling. So many times when we talked earlier about where we're feeding something that is not hunger, we could be feeding an emptiness, an empty feeling that that that you associated with pleasure, I need pleasure. I feel empty right now. So how do I get that pleasure? I remember that eating gives me pleasure, because it makes me feel like a reward, like I'm rewarded. So I want that reward feeling right now. Interesting. So I'm going to go do that. So all of that little stuff is all tied together. And when you recognize that you can change it, you can change that belief, like eating doesn't have to be associated with a reward. What else can you do? What can you replace it? It's good to have that is it's good to have the feeling of being rewarded or the feeling of pleasure, or feeling of happiness. But what can we replace the eating? Yeah, to still get that feeling of happiness? Well, and so you can change that belief. Or you can change that belief, the belief to I'm amazing anyways, the belief is I don't have to be, you know, I don't have to be amazing with a banana split. I'm amazing with a sticker, or whatever that is. But so just if you change the belief, you can change the behavior.
Roy Barker 49:54
Yeah, that's easy. Talk that through. I think maybe you know, when you're down are not feeling good. That's another reason I guess you seek out that Banana Split is because it's that trigger of the memory of Oh, that was a happy time or that was a good time. So if I had me some ice cream, I'm gonna feel feel that way. Yeah. Interesting.
Dee 50:14
What are you really happy for? Right? I mean, what do you really hungry for it? You're hungry for an Attaboy you're hungry for acceptance. You're hungry for acknowledgement, right?
Roy Barker 50:30
Wow. That's pretty insightful. Yes. That's good.
Terry 50:36
Yeah.
Roy Barker 50:38
Yeah. And then it gets back to being mindful of taking the time to know what that feeling is and why, you know, and then you can kind of sort this out of why we're doing that. Yeah.
Dee 50:50
And were you asked about hypnosis on how hypnosis works with that, or was it uteri? So knowing this process, these things, hypnosis, what I do is I regress people back to the initializing event. So that first event where they begin where they stored, or created that belief,
Roy Barker 51:13
okay,
Dee 51:15
so if there's something traumatic right now, we're talking about something we're talking about pleasurable, it's like, you know, but even then, we would go back to that event where you were given the ice cream every time you did something and give you an ice cream. So we would go back to that first event. You were you were three years old, and you peed in the potty. So and then you get something every time you pee in the potty. So you would say that in hypnosis, I peed in the potty, then we would we I would talk to you. And I would say things right at that time, and I would just go give yourself a high five. What do you want to do? I want to go get ice cream. And I would we would make some corrections right there. And I would say Roy instead of ice cream, because adult Roy finds this as a problem. What do you want to do three year old Roy to to change that instead of what do you really want? What you really want is approval from your parents. So they can put on potty music for you what I that's what I used to do for my daughter. We used to play the music it was some song that says party dance party party because she was being conditioned to dance after okay doing party. So we could change that they're in hypnosis. And the reason why it works so well in hypnosis is because it's an extreme form of focus and, and relaxation. And there's no interference from this thing called the critical factor. The critical factor is the thing that analyzes and discerns everything okay, it's part of the conscious mind. Interesting. So that is not activated when we're in in hypnosis. So it's nothing blocking you from taking in this new information and making it your new belief. That's why hypnosis is so effective.
Roy Barker 53:12
Right? Okay, no, that's cool. I you know, I've never really thought about it that way but you know, it makes sense and goodness my problems are multiplied times three because I had like both my both my grant one set of grandparents they had the Dairy Queen up by them so it was always that was the celebration I had another grandpa that they had a local drugstore that was you know, going to the soda fountain and getting a banana split and then my dad he had a place out by his office so it's like you know, it my world has seen now that I'm thinking about it my world revolved around ice cream No wonder I love ice cream Yeah.
Dee 53:50
Was that a reward? Or those rewards for something you did? Well it
Roy Barker 53:55
rewards are just like Sunday Yeah Dad or you know just like whenever I was a little kid and go to work with dad, it might be like three o'clock. Let's go take a break you know, so we go down there you know at my grandparents maybe mowing the yard or doing some chores it's like Hey, you got that done? Let's go you know so i think it was a combination of a way to take a break and socialization but also you know, definitely that reward in you know, growing up the way I did it was like you know you had a bad day well let's go get something to eat that'll take our you know, my grandma she cooked cakes and stuff like well here's this piece of cake or you know the other you celebrate you know, did something good Yay. Let's go Oh, you don't feel good. Oh, you need to eat you're feeling great. Let's go eat You know, it seemed like everything was everything was a trigger.
Dee 54:42
And that's how that's how most families are. It's centered around food.
Terry 54:47
Yeah, everything is
Roy Barker 54:48
and then that socialization part two, because you know, the pandemic has kind of been a little different for us, but you know, we miss going out with like our daughters and kids and going out and You know, meeting somewhere and just the socialization or going with friends. But, you know, there's other things that we can do. And that's kind of one thing we've talked about in the past a little bit, was that that reconditioning of you can socialize without having to, you know, eat, eat things that aren't the healthiest for you. You can have a glass of water or a lettuce wrapper, you know, there's ways to make adjustments, I guess, is the thing. Yeah.
Dee 55:31
Sounds now.
Terry 55:34
Anything sounds good right now?
Roy Barker 55:36
Well, I know we're way long be and I appreciate your time. Is there anything else that you want to enlighten us with before we wrap this up?
Dee 55:46
Well, I do want to talk about self esteem. Yes. All of this certainly self esteem and how you feel about your self esteem is how you feel about yourself. And it's everything, okay? Because you will treat yourself like your best friend. If you love yourself, okay. And for your listeners that might need some help in that there I have a free workshop is self esteem is a self esteem workshop. It's It's Sunday, it's a it's not a work, stop. It's a five day challenge. Okay, raising your self esteem. Okay. So, how do you get there? I have to send you the link. Yeah,
Roy Barker 56:26
no, no, that's because the link is pretty long. Okay. Now we will post all of your stuff in, in the show notes as well. But now self esteem, let's let's Can you just expand on that just a little bit? Because, you know, it's it's a thing we feel bad about ourselves. And I think, you know, we talked about this in the business into LOD is, we are most of the time, we're the hardest on ourselves. If I have if I have 10 things on my to do list today, and I get seven done. I'm like, I missed three.
56:59
Thank you.
Roy Barker 57:01
I should have you know, I could have done this. I could have done a banana split for you. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Instead of just half one flipping that script and saying Holy smoke, I got seven done 70%. If I could hit 70% in the major leagues, I'd be a gazillionaire. So I mean, there's something to that. And the that positive stuff that we run in our mind, you know, we've talked about that again, but we get to choose whether we run negative or whether we run positive. And so, you know, just like me, I don't think about it a lot. But you know, you think out of shape and not looking the way I want to or I can think of I'm making efforts to get where I want to be, you know, I can take that positive spin on it. So I'm sure I'm sure that's all interrelated, correct.
Dee 57:50
It is, it's all of it. I'm loving every part of you. Even the parts that aren't as attractive to yourself as you like. But it's, it's where you are right now. And many of us think I can't love myself until I know, fill in the blank, whatever that is. self esteem is loving yourself right now as is. Right now as is. That's why people sell houses and cars, and they could still they can sell things as is because somebody still wants them. Right? Yeah. So why should we discard ourselves? As is?
Roy Barker 58:33
No, you're right, in the journey, you know, we need to enjoy the journey. Because I think the other part is we have this hollow goal that you know, when I get skinnier whenever I get the new car, the new house, we have those things that's gonna make me happy. Well, when you get there, it's like, okay, not really. Yeah,
Dee 58:51
wherever you are there, wherever you go. There you are. Exactly.
Terry 58:55
Yeah.
Dee 58:56
So I think Oh, there you are. So if you're not happy at the big size, you're not going to be happy at the small size either. You just might like what you see the reflection in the mirror, but she's still that self love is everything
Roy Barker 59:09
right? And, again, this is affects so many things about ourselves, not only our weight, the way we interact with our loved ones in our work life. I mean, it just ripples through every every part of our life.
Dee 59:27
It does, yep. So and if you want a mindset, if you want to work on your mindset, I have a mindset membership called mind shift membership, and it gives you daily things to chew on. Okay? It gives you meditations, visualizations, there's hypnosis, there's daily inspiration, motivation information, there's free courses, and you can get there from deewoolridge.com. Okay, so if you're if you're looking for mindset if you don't know how to change your mindset, and you don't really want to do a challenge or a course, this is an everyday thing is 365 days. Oh, wow, you get information, it comes straight to your email right now. Yeah. So just Yeah, well, there we go check
Roy Barker 1:00:20
that out. And we'll we'll say, we'll be sure and put the links in the show notes as well. Well, thank you so much for taking time to be with us. It's been a lot of great information. And I know me and Terry have benefited and hopefully, we'll have some audience members that will as well. But yeah, I mean, be happy. Love yourself, take care of yourself, and where wherever your journey is going. Enjoy it as you go.
Terry 1:00:44
And if you don't know how to do it, get a hold of date.
Roy Barker 1:00:46
Yeah. One more quick thing not to be too morbid, but the, you know, there, there's just been a lot going on lately about, we never know when we're going to take our last breath. And I think that's even more of a reason to be thankful and have that gratitude is that you just never know when you or your loved one may be taken away. And so, yes, kind of put a little more emphasis on that just being able to tell somebody Hey, I love you. You know, you're awesome to me, as Terry is and yeah, we just, you know, I think we need to I don't think people say that enough. And then there's just been some, you know, some people that have passed this last week at very young ages. That just makes you think that you know, we're always living on borrowed time. So make the best of it. Amen. Yeah.
Dee 1:01:41
Second that,
Roy Barker 1:01:42
yeah. All right. Well, thanks a lot. I tell people, how can they reach out and get a hold of you for more information? DeeWoolridge.com is my website and all of this stuff that I was talking about? is on that website. If you want to know more about hypnosis, you can go to San Antonio hypnosis.com. And that's my website for if you want it, you know want a session or you want a consultation, San Antoni hypnosis.com for everything else. DeeWoolridge.com, okay. And that's Dee spelled out d e e. Okay, great. We'll put like I said, we'll include all that. But just somebody driving down the road wants to pull over and look you up. We will make sure they get to the right website.
Dee 1:02:31
Yeah. All right. tastic.
Roy Barker 1:02:33
Yeah. Well, thanks so much. Again, appreciate it again. We you can find us at Of course, www dot feeding fatty.com. We're on all the major social media platforms, as well as all the major podcast platforms, iTunes, Stitcher, Google Spotify, we're not a one that you listened to please reach out. So that's gonna do it for me.
Terry 1:02:54
D Thanks so much. We appreciate it. You really shed a lot of light. You explained it in ways that we hadn't had it explained before. Appreciate it.
Dee 1:03:03
It was my pleasure to drive here.
Terry 1:03:06
Okay, that does it for me. Sorry. You were wrapping up.