Failure To Launch
116 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 4 years ago - ★★★★★ - 29 ratingsWe’re all familiar with the idea of a pilot episode, the one-off test run of a series to see whether or not it could ever work as a television show. But what happens to the shows that never make it past that stage? Usually they’re cast aside and disappear from the public eye forever, doomed to fade into obscurity.
But Melbourne comedy troupe The Consumption say “No more!” We are reaching deep into the bowels of television history to bring you back hot, steaming piles of TV's many bizarre miscarriages. All while mixing the most disgusting metaphors possible.
We’ll seek out and expose ourselves to the worst television pilots ever made so you don’t have to. Each episode will see us dissect and discuss another horrible failed pilot for our amusement. Join us in our schadenfreude as we talk about wrestlers solving crimes, invisible monsters, kung-fu ravers, talking dogs solving crimes, teleporting stand-up comedians, cross dressing misogynists, magicians solving crimes and a whole bunch of other terrible ideas, most of which involve crimes being solved.
Welcome to Failure to Launch! The only TV podcast about shows that don’t exist.
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Episodes
116 - Emily's Reasons Why Not
October 02, 2014 13:13 - 1 hour - 36.1 MBIn January 2006, ABC had a lot invested in Emily's Reasons Why Not. A racy, light-hearted comedy in the vein of Sex and the City, starring Heather Graham at the peak of her fame, and based on a best selling novel. They spent millions on publicity, covered Los Angeles and Times Square in billboards and dropped it into a prime spot as the centrepiece of their post-football Monday night prime time. Then, after airing only a single episode, it was yanked from the air and disappeared immediatel...
115 - Still Life
September 28, 2014 13:47 - 58 minutes - 34 MBEpisode S01E15 of Failure to Launch is here, and it completes our "Supernatural: Before They Were Famous" pilot collection. Still Life follows the Morgan family, as they struggle with the death of the eldest child, killed on his first day on the police force. It's like 7th Heaven, if it was darker and had more people in strip clubs talking about the time a building collapsed inside their bodies or something. Reviewers: James Ferris, David Shaw, Andrew Cherry Soundboard: Harry Brimage
114 - Young MacGyver
September 18, 2014 21:30 - 1 hour - 40.2 MBYou may remember MacGyver, the mulleted TV action star who could escape from the stickiest of situations by improvising complex machinery out of everyday objects. Young MacGyver focuses on his nephew, who can really only improvise bombs out of other bombs. And those bombs explode into big clouds of boring. Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, David Shaw, Harry Brimage Soundboard: Andrew Cherry
113 - Osbournes Reloaded
September 12, 2014 04:47 - 1 hour - 35.7 MBRemember back in the mid 2000's when we were all in love with the dysfunctional antics of the Osbourne family? Then remember by the late 2000's when we were all completely over them? Well they didn't! In 2009 the Osbournes decided that the world hadn't had enough of them yet and offered this attempt at a weekly live variety hour. The world has, so far, not responded. Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Fabian Lapham, Alex Malone Soundboard: Andrew Cherry
112 - Doorways
September 04, 2014 22:00 - 1 hour - 35 MBAs the creator of Game Of Thrones, George R. R. Martin is responsible for the biggest show currently on television. But as Malcolm Gladwell once said, to be truly good at anything, you must do it for 10,000 hours. Doorways was somewhere around his 36 hour mark. It's like Sliders, but with weird alien sex slaves. Reviewers: James Ferris, Fabian Lapham, Alex Malone Soundboard: Andrew Cherry
111 - Tag Team
August 29, 2014 04:06 - 1 hour - 36.3 MBIf you were a broke, down on your luck wrestler, would you turn to fighting crime to pay the bills, or just star in a shitty TV action series about two broke, down on their luck wrestlers fighting crime to pay the bills? In 1991, Jessie "The Body" Ventura & Rowdy Roddy Piper attempted to answer this question. They were incorrect. Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Alex Malone, David Shaw Soundboard: Andrew Cherry
110 - Poochinski
August 21, 2014 23:30 - 36 minutes - 42.2 MBThroughout the 1980s, stories about cops teaming up with dogs who could solve crimes were all the rage. Then somebody had to go and take it too far. Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Fabian Lapham, Alex Malone Soundboard: David Shaw
109 - Invincible
August 14, 2014 22:20 - 1 hour - 42.8 MBWe don't know how to describe Invincible. In lieu, here are some of the IMDB Plot Keywords: Telekinesis. Katana Sword. Rave Party. Slow Motion Fight Scene. Billy Zane. Cigar Smoking. Admit it: You're intrigued. Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Alex Malone, David Shaw Soundboard: Fabian Lapham
108 - Nikki & Nora
August 07, 2014 23:19 - 1 hour - 40.8 MBNikki and Nora are tough New Orleans detectives. Partners on their beat... and in the bedroom. Apparently back in 2004 the world wasn't ready for a lesbian cop show. But ten years later, with progress marching on and society becoming more accepting of other people's... Oh wait. This is still just a terrible show. Reviewers: James Ferris, Alex Malone, David Shaw, Harry Brimage Soundboard: Fabian Lapham
107 - 17th Precinct
July 31, 2014 21:30 - 1 hour - 39.7 MBOf the shows we've reviewed so far, this fantasy-set police procedural is the most high concept. Here's the simplest way to explain it: If you mixed Harry Potter with Law & Order and an incredible amount of not giving a shit, you'd get 17th Precinct. Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Alex Malone, Andrew Cherry Soundboard: David Shaw
106 - Cruel Intentions 2
July 24, 2014 21:30 - 57 minutes - 33.1 MBEpisode 6 of Failure to Launch has arrived, and it will destroy you with sex, maybe? Manchester Prep, recut & released as Cruel Intentions 2, was intended to be the prequel TV series to 1999s Cruel Intentions, using lesser actors to explore two rich, narcissistic teenagers incestuous relationship, and is exactly as classy as it sounds. Watch it with your siblings. We dare you. Reviewers: James Ferris, Fabian Lapham, Alex Malone, David Shaw Soundboard: Andrew Cherry
105 - Fuzzbucket
July 17, 2014 23:30 - 1 hour - 45.2 MBIn 1986, a Disney executive ran into a writers room, shouting, "We need our own E.T! Young boy, magical friend. Kids are eating that shit up! But all that magic and whimsy is old hat. Make it dark, gritty, and completely joyless!" This Is What Happened Next.™ Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Andrew Cherry, Alex Malone Soundboard: David Shaw
104 - Work It
July 10, 2014 21:30 - 59 minutes - 41.1 MBWe're breaking one of our rules by reviewing Work It, as a series was commissioned from this pilot. However, a) it was cancelled after 2 episodes, and b) this is the most misogynistic half-hour of television since Chris Brown was on The View. Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, David Shaw, Alex Malone Soundboard: Andrew Cherry
103 - Aquaman
July 03, 2014 14:12 - 1 hour - 43.5 MBSmallville, despite never being more than a mediocre show, managed to run for 10 seasons thanks to the popularity of Superman. Here's what happens when you do basically the same thing, but replace Metropolis with a bunch of fish. Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Fabian Lapham, Alex Malone Soundboard: Andrew Cherry
102 - Where's Rodney?
June 26, 2014 10:05 - 47 minutes - 32.8 MBRodney Dangerfield was a slobbish, alcoholic, kinda misogynistic standup comic, and as such, the ideal magical-teleporting-life-coach for a 13-year-old boy. At least, that's what Hanna-Barbera thought when they produced the 1990 pilot for "Where's Rodney?" Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Fabian Lapham, Alex Malone Soundboard: Andrew Cherry
101 - Wonder Woman
June 19, 2014 16:37 - 1 hour - 48.6 MBThe inaugural episode of Failure to Launch, the podcast that examines TV shows that never made it to air, is here! Sometimes, it's quite difficult to put your finger on why a given TV pilot doesn't work. This episode covers David E. Kelly's attempt to resurrect Wonder Woman in 2011, and as such, wasn't one of those times. This week's notable bit player: Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride, Robin Hood: Men In Tights). Reviewers: James Ferris, Lucy Shaw, Fabian Lapham, Alex Malone Soundboa...