Failure To Launch
116 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 4 years ago - ★★★★★ - 29 ratingsWe’re all familiar with the idea of a pilot episode, the one-off test run of a series to see whether or not it could ever work as a television show. But what happens to the shows that never make it past that stage? Usually they’re cast aside and disappear from the public eye forever, doomed to fade into obscurity.
But Melbourne comedy troupe The Consumption say “No more!” We are reaching deep into the bowels of television history to bring you back hot, steaming piles of TV's many bizarre miscarriages. All while mixing the most disgusting metaphors possible.
We’ll seek out and expose ourselves to the worst television pilots ever made so you don’t have to. Each episode will see us dissect and discuss another horrible failed pilot for our amusement. Join us in our schadenfreude as we talk about wrestlers solving crimes, invisible monsters, kung-fu ravers, talking dogs solving crimes, teleporting stand-up comedians, cross dressing misogynists, magicians solving crimes and a whole bunch of other terrible ideas, most of which involve crimes being solved.
Welcome to Failure to Launch! The only TV podcast about shows that don’t exist.
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Episodes
314 - The Ghost Writer
October 30, 2016 19:00 - 1 hour - 56.4 MBPortrayed by Norman Bates himself, the great Anthony Perkins absolutely nails this surprisingly ok three camera sitcom. We follow Elizabeth (Anthony's new wife) as she tries to adjust to life with the Stracks and living in the shadow of a massive portrait of Anthony's deceased wife. When Elizabeth takes down the painting and unleashes Anthony's ex wife's spirit it's up to Anthony to look dead into the camera and make puns with the speed and determination of a serial killer. We absolute...
313 - Dr Strange
October 27, 2016 21:29 - 1 hour - 83.4 MBGuests Michael Williams and Sarah Baggs (of Pop Quiz Hot Shot and It’s A Duck Blur fame) join us to ask the question: Is the new Benedict Cumberbatch movie the true live action Dr. Strange, or does it need more boring lasers, villainous poops and guys called Wong who definitely aren’t servants? When the aforementioned evil poo sends Morgan le Fay to Earth on a mission to kill the Sorcerer Supreme, it’s up to Dr Strange to try to get laid and kinda hope that lines up with stopping le Fay. T...
312 - Sawdust
October 17, 2016 23:02 - 1 hour - 55.8 MBEver wondered what it would be like to run a circus? Chartered Accountant Mac Galpin hadn’t, but that didn’t prevent him from ‘accidentally’ buying one, deciding to run it rather than on-selling the assets and forcing his family to join him on this foolhardy quest, as pre-2000s TV dads were want to do. This is the premise of Sawdust, another pilot from the late-80s CBS Summer Playhouse (oh, how we love you, you bottomless shitbarrel.) That said, it’s less about circus administration and mo...
311 - Mr. & Mrs. Smith
October 10, 2016 22:40 - 1 hour - 58 MBCam Tyeson joins us to discover: What happens when you take the star power and sex appeal of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and replace it with the, um... general pleasantness of Jordana Brewster and Martin Henderson? The answer is domestic abuse, sadly. Go figure. Brewster and Henderson fill in for the roles as Jane and John Smith, an average suburban couple who are secretly highly paid contract killers and who less secretly hate each other. When John loses his job, this former profession...
310 - Justice League of America
October 03, 2016 19:00 - 1 hour - 85.4 MBTo make any sense of Justice League of America, you need to remember that Lois and Clark was a big thing. Which is why there’s no Superman. Batman and Robin was also a thing, so there’s no Batman. Lois and Clark being a thing might also explain why the pilot’s mostly about relationships rather than, I dunno, superhero stuff. Lois and Clark doesn’t explain the stalking though. Or the JLA kidnapping people. Or the odd casting choices. Or why the writers couldn’t think of anything remotely us...
309 - Parallels
September 22, 2016 23:58 - 1 hour - 86.8 MBWhat to say about Parallels? I could tell you about how the most sympathetic character in the show is gun toting conspiracy theorist, who sets out to bomb his own people with nuclear weapons. I could tell you that the main characters are a desperate whining loser with an severely unhealthy crush, a violent bully without a Facebook account and a bratty sociopath who considers their impending death a time to make jokes and get laid. These are our heroes. So likeable! I could tell you about h...
308 - Secret Talents of the Stars
September 15, 2016 20:30 - 58 minutes - 58.5 MBTalent shows are the shredded iceberg lettuce to broadcast TVs salad; a great space filler that, while nutritionally void, is hard to get wrong. You just need talent, or failing that, star power. (Alternately, core it first, remove the thinnest leaves, chop finely and refrigerate until serving #icebergtips) But what if you have neither? Well, you get Secret Talents of the Stars, a show where you can watch B to C list celebrities a) do something one step removed from what they’re already ...
307 - Archie: To Riverdale and Back Again
September 08, 2016 23:50 - 1 hour - 88 MBEver heard of The Bradys? In 1990, ABC were kicking afternoon butt with the Full House/Family Matters power hour, and CBS needed something to compete. Why not steal ABCs own Brady Family and use them against ABC? Starring the original now-20-years-older cast, The Bradys reworked the original sitcom into a dramedy, with the following setup: - Bobby is a former racecar driver, paraplegic after a crash - Peter is trapped in an abusive relationship - Jan and her partner are unable to conce...
306 - Rag and Bone
August 21, 2016 02:47 - 1 hour - 124 MBDean Cain plays a Louisiana cop who is also a priest and a little league coach. But things get complicated when he shoots down one of his former baseball players, putting him under investigation by internal affairs. Things become additionally complicated when his ex lover is embroiled in a political scandal of murder and blackmail. Things get really complicated when he starts being haunted by the ghost of Robert Patrick who doesn't seem to want to help with anything at all. Shit gets just ...
305 - Mr. Stitch
August 13, 2016 12:31 - 127 MBHere’s the scenario; You’re writer/director Roger Avary. It’s 1995. In the last two years, you’ve won a Best Original Screenplay oscar (Pulp Fiction) and had a successful directorial debut (Killing Zoe). For your next project, you’ll be working with Rutger Hauer (Blade Runner) on a modern reboot of Frankenstein he’s producing and starring in. Ron Perlman (The City of Lost Children, Hellboy) and Wil Wheaton (Star Trek: TNG) are also attached. What could go wrong? Just about everything. Aw...
304 - Clerks
August 04, 2016 22:30 - 58.6 MBIn 1994, the indie film Clerks won Kevin Smith critical acclaim and the beginnings of a cult following, praised for it’s witty writing and authentic voice. Touchstone attempted to capitalise on the film’s success by snapping up the TV rights and producing a pilot. Trouble is, they wanted a family sitcom. So, uh, try to imagine Clerks without Jay & Silent Bob. Or swear words. Or sex talk. They also took all the charm out and made everyone a jerk. That didn’t seem totally necessary for a sit...
303 - NYPD 2069
July 28, 2016 20:30 - 1 hour - 65.7 MBAlex Franco is a tough New York cop investigating a rape and murder (like in Nikki & Nora) who gets frozen (like in 1994 Baker Street) and travels through time (like in Out of Time) to a dystopic future where all the world’s terrorists have banded together (like in Nick Fury) and the cops use stupid guns (like in 17th Precinct) and unrealistic gene therapy (like in Fearless). He has to team up with a distant relative (like in Out of Time again) who is now a dog (Poochinski, K-9000) to so...
302 - Model By Day
July 21, 2016 20:00 - 106 MBTwo years before her big break as Xenia Onatopp in GoldenEye, Famke Janssen played another sexy femme fatale of sorts; World-famous, globe-trotting supermodel Lex. After seeing her best friend/same-birthday-haver Amy seriously injured in a carjacking, Lex begins a double life as Lady X, a sexy vigilante who uses her martial arts skills to fight crime in the name of downtrodden women everywhere. Hmm. Well, we say fights crime, but the crimefighting stops being a priority for Lex pretty earl...
301 - The Best of Times
July 14, 2016 20:00 - 79.7 MBFailure to Launch is BACK with one of the most divisive, confused, dare we say Baffling™ pilots we’ve seen Crispin Glover try on jeans during. Nicolas Cage, Crispin Glover and a slew of other teenagers bring us many, many, MANY vignettes of life as a 1980s All-American teen; a life that’s often musical and only occasionally involves serious property damage and/or existential despair. Also, Jackie Mason’s there, playing a character with the last name ‘O’Reilly’. We’d tell you more but, ho...
225 - Baffled!
September 24, 2015 00:30 - 1 hour - 57.5 MBIn the Failure to Launch season finale, we go out with a baffling bang. Or, I guess, a crash, a premonition and age-disguising lighting. Old mate Leonard Nimoy plays Tom, a race-car driver who develops psychic powers somehow and get whisked off to "merry" old England to solve a number of odd mysteries in one big creepy mansion. We couldn't really grasp why a lot of it was happening but after last week's episode, we were just happy not to have been violently vomiting onto the floor. That’...
224 - Juiced with OJ Simpson
September 16, 2015 21:30 - 1 hour - 43.8 MBThis week, we allegedly murdered our collective will to continue the podcast by subjecting ourselves to "Juiced", a hidden camera prank "show" starring sportsman, actor and...guy OJ Simpson. OJ does what Jackass was doing when those guys were 13, only with more gratutious female nudity, bad rapping and poorly thought-out "ideas". Now that we have seen this slight against God of a pilot, we can only pray for future generations, and you, to never have to witness the birth of the spawn of the...
223 - Alexander the Great
September 09, 2015 21:30 - 1 hour - 43.5 MBThe year is 1964. Producer Selig J. Seligman convinces the American Broadcasting Corporation to dump a truckload of money into the pilot episode of Alexander the Great, a historical war series on an epic scale (for TV, at least). ABC watched it, said no, and as this was the 60s and there wasn’t some dumb cable channel to dump it on at 2am, the pilot was placed on a shelf to gather dust, never to be aired. At least, that was the plan, until the bloke who played Alexander (William Shatner) a...
222 - Darkman
September 02, 2015 21:30 - 1 hour - 61.6 MBPayton Westlake (Chrisopher Bowen) is Darkman, a man with an only occasional face who likes yelling at homeless children, and old mate Larry Drake is back in villain form as Durant. This reimagining/weird cut-and-paste job of the Sam Raimi film answers all those questions you might have had about the Darkman character, like: If he's homeless, how does he get all the gadgets? What's his beef with bad grammar? Why does synthetic skin boil like lava after an hour and a half? All that, and le...
221 - Battletoads
August 26, 2015 21:00 - 59 minutes - 35.7 MBFar out! Geekomatic! Hypnotronic! Battletoads! Written by David Wise, who should have known better, and made for probably 95 cents, Battletoads is a battle courageously yet dumbly across galaxies in the vein of their more famous turtle cousins, to save someone from...something. It's not super clear. There's a lot of portals. We were pretty unanimous on the creepy bird doctor, though. Reviewers: James Ferris, Fabian Lapham, Lisa Dib, Harry Brimage Soundboard: Andrew Cherry
220 - The Nick & Jessica Variety Hour
August 19, 2015 21:00 - 1 hour - 44.4 MBPop stars Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey for some reason host this deeply Sonny and Cher-reminiscent old-school variety show, without the glorious absurdity of Steve Martin or Telly Savales' giant creepy head. There's bygone-era musical guests, hackneyed comedy sketches and more duets than you would ever need or want! Variety has never been more various! We were divided quite harshly on this one: was it bad TV? Was it knowingly and ironically tongue-in-cheek? Was it bad but still ironic? ...
219 - Danger Island a.k.a. The Presence
August 12, 2015 21:30 - 1 hour - 53.6 MBThis early 90s adventure series tells the tale of a disparate group of castaways, stranded on a mysterious tropical island, following a harrowing plane crash. But it's not Lost. As they battle against the elements and each other, they discover that the island is home to all manner of bizarre unexplainable phenomena. But it's totally not Lost. Alright? Things begin to fall into place when they discover an abandoned military outpost. I swear it was over a decade before Lost. An outpost that ...
218 - K-9000
August 05, 2015 21:30 - 1 hour - 55.1 MBLA detective Eddie Munroe hates machines and machines seem to hate him, so it's a twist of cruel fate that sees him teamed up with a German Shepard who's brain has been replaced with a hitch computer. To be honest Eddie actually rolls with the whole scenario pretty smoothly. Along the way they're joined by a sexy scientists who claims to love animals despite performing numerous, painful tests on them as well as helping to build a machine that exists entirely to remove dogs brains while the...
217 - Driving Miss Daisy
July 29, 2015 21:30 - 51 minutes - 31.2 MBThis week we examine Driving Miss Daisy, an attempt by CBS to cash in on the Oscar winning film by converting it into a laugh-a-minute sitcom, with such wacky antics as “Hoke fixes the cabinet door”, and “Miss Daisy meets Eleanor Roosevelt and it goes fine.” This sounds dull (and it is), so it might surprise you to know that this pilot garnered protests when it aired in 1992. Give this episode a listen and… you just might understand why. Reviewers: James Ferris, David Shaw, Fabian L...
216 - Gay Robot
July 22, 2015 21:30 - 57 minutes - 34.4 MBFrom the Book of Failure, S2-16: “The man, who was named Ferris, toiled in the fields of the Internet, searching for a pilot which was of formidable quality. He went up from Rutube.ru to Torrentfreak, but he would not be satisfied, and no merchant of pilots whose lights were not green could impress him with his wares. After many days wandering the desert of Wiki, he collapsed, and at this time the Lord of Bad Pilots appeared to him in a vision, taking the forms of Billy Zane...
215 - Blood Ties
July 17, 2015 01:00 - 1 hour - 52.4 MBThis week we examine Blood Ties, a 1991 attempt to bring the “vampires live among us, and they’re SEXY” genre to life over a decade before HBO did it with True Blood. The problem, however, was that this was a network show. So where HBO added sex appeal into True Blood with Tons o’ Nudity and Sex™, Blood Ties had to settle for sexy innuendos. When it turned out they couldn’t write sexy innuendos (there’s a twinkie metaphor that isn’t the obvious one), they tried adding incest to spice thing...
214 - Mickey & Nora
July 08, 2015 21:30 - 1 hour - 41.4 MBThis week’s FtL examines Mickey & Nora, a boilerplate 80s sitcom about the travails of a young newly-married couple and their wacky, disgraced West-African dictator sidekick, Colonel Ntsunge. And wacky side-characters don't come much wackier than the Colonel, as he bumbles through American customs, mispronounces catch phrases, and threatens his political enemies with ethnic cleansing. Mickey is a former CIA agent now working as a go-go eighties lawyer, only (wouldn't-ya-know-it) nobody bel...
213 - Out of Time
July 03, 2015 01:00 - 1 hour - 106 MBChanning Taylor is a cop from the future who's out to prove that policing is a people’s job and not a computer’s. So he goes back in time to convince his Grandpa (Bill Maher) that Adam Ant's evil plot to cure all diseases has to be stopped, and the only way to do it is to break every time travel rule and irreparably ruin the future. But Bill Maher is determined to make policing a computer’s job and not a people's. Can Channing and Grandpa see eye to eye? Can you wrap a man in fruit loops? ...
212 - Faceless
June 25, 2015 00:31 - 1 hour - 81 MBThis week, Failure to Launch examines Faceless, a gritty crime drama in which Game of Thrones star Sean Bean actually lives to the end credits for once! Although the opening scene is him getting shot in the face. So y'know, grain of salt. Reviewers: James Ferris, Martin Dunlop, Lisa Dib, Alex Malone Soundboard: Harry Brimage
211 - Evel Knievel
June 17, 2015 21:30 - 1 hour - 36.4 MBSam Elliott brings his distinctive southern charm to this series about the beloved dare-devil travelling the country with his trusty pit crew. Along the way they deal out action, adventure and good old fashioned 70s style misogyny you just like your dad used to make. But, when Evel threatened by a female stunt rider, him and the boys must band together and do everything they can to put this young upstart back in her place. But, when Evel is threatened by a mad bomber, determined to end ...
210 - Hollyweird
June 12, 2015 04:07 - 1 hour - 53.6 MBThe year is 1998 and the world has recently discovered ironic detachment. Scream 2 is but a fading memory, and Scream 3 is still a glimmer in Courtney Cox-Arquette's eye. Somebody had to fill that gap. In steps Shaun Cassidy, Failure to Launch's favourite snow globe enthusiast-cum-director, with another snow globe filled romp. It's fun. It's sexy. It's shot like a Smash Mouth video. It's almost certainly meta. Two aspiring film-makers team up with a generic 90s slacker-dude to make 1998'...
209 - Neighbors With Benefits
June 04, 2015 21:30 - 51 minutes - 29.6 MBThis week's pilot documents the real-life exploits of several couples who practise "the lifestyle", and what a life style it is! There's terrible parties, clumsy innuendo and even the occasional game of truth or dare. Well, that, and constant extra-marital affairs, so it's not all lame. This reality series about suburban swingers aired 2 episodes, so it's not technically a failed pilot. But as Neighbors with Benefits teaches us, it's not cheating if it doesn't break the rules. Review...
208 - Island City
May 29, 2015 11:01 - 1 hour - 40.7 MBIn this week’s unexpectedly raunchy episode of Failure to Launch, we examine Island City, a world ravaged by formerly-human-now-super-strong-neanderthals, the victims of a genetic experiment gone wrong. The remnants of humanity cower inside the fortress-like Island City, desperately searching for a cure. Well… I’ve used words like “cower” and “desperate”, but for the most part everyone’s really relaxed about the whole situation. So much so, that when a rescue worker is lost in the mutant-i...
207 - Shangri-la Plaza
May 21, 2015 21:00 - 1 hour - 45.9 MBWelcome to Shangri-La Plaza, an all singing, all dancing strip mall where everything you need is under one roof. Provided you're somehow capable of sustaining yourself on donuts, frozen yogurt and child neglect. Along for the ride is the world's most indignant cafe employee (who is as likeable as she sounds), a crippled gang leader (who is even less threatening than he sounds) and a precocious 8 year old (who is actually fine. We've got no beef with her). Reviewers: James Ferris, Dav...
206 - The Robinsons: Lost in Space
May 14, 2015 21:30 - 1 hour - 42.9 MBThis week's Failure to Launch examines an attempt to reboot 1965's Lost in Space for the early 2000s. As with any reworking of a series with a strong, loyal fan base, it's important to carefully examine the source material, find the elements that made the show work, then make those elements the core of a modern, exciting retelling, that pays loving homage to the original series. Thing is, the element they took from the original was Dad Knows Best™. And what Dad reckons sounds best is uproo...
205 - Wheel of Time: Winter Dragon
May 07, 2015 21:30 - 1 hour - 36.7 MBIn further proof that The Consumption will watch anything that Billy Zane puts his name to, we travel this week to the vast fantasy world of Robert Jordan's 14-volume Wheel of Time series. Or, rather, one house in the vast fantasy world of Robert Jordan's 14-volume Wheel of Time series. Or one smoke filled room in one house in the vast fantasy world of Robert Jordan's 14-volume Wheel of Time. It's the story of one man's desperate search for his wife and family, which ends in anticlimax whe...
204 - Frankenstein
April 30, 2015 21:30 - 1 hour - 52.5 MBHow about a modern adaption of a literary classic, created by Martin Scorsese & Dean Koontz, starring Parker Posey and Adam Goldberg? Sound good? It sure sounded good to USA Network in 2004. Except all they got out of it was your standard gritty cop show. Except it stars a modern day Frankenstien. Except he's not called Frankenstien. Except the show is called Frankenstien. Except there's... God dammit, this thing's a mess. Reviewers: James Ferris, Andrew Cherry, Harry Brimage, Ale...
203 - Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
April 23, 2015 21:30 - 1 hour - 48.8 MBWhat do you think of when you think of Nick Fury? War hero? Super spy? Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D? Well, in the 90’s, he was all of those, only he was still a smoker. Oh, and he was played by DAVID FREAKIN’ HASSELHOFF. In ’98 the former Baywatch star played the comic book legend in a portrayal that Stan Lee and The Hoff himself agreed was better than “that other guy”. No one else did, apart from a few bad poetry enthusiasts and hobbyist miners. Reviewers: James Ferris, Fabian Lapham, Andr...
202 - The Time Tunnel
April 16, 2015 21:30 - 1 hour - 43 MBFor everyone who watched Stargate and thought, "I wish this had more Nazis!", comes "The Time Tunnel". A remake of the classic 60s sci-fi series in which a group of scientists, soldiers and a polygraph operator with a peanut obsession travel through time, saving history from the reality warping effects of a "time storm". So if you're curious about what would happen if New Jersey didn't exist, what the hell a "time storm" is or what it it takes to make Ferris sympathise with Nazis, then thi...
201 - Tarzan In Manhattan
April 09, 2015 23:25 - 1 hour - 51 MBThe season 2 premiere of Failure to Launch examines the pilot for Tarzan In Manhattan, a fun, light hearted romp involving murder, animal torture and post-traumatic stress disorder. When Tarzan’s ape-mum (she was in the book), played by some dude in a gorilla suit (not in the book), is shot and inexplicably left behind by poachers, Tarzan heads for the Big Apple to track down her assassins (sort of in the book). Along the way he meets Jane (she was in the book), a tough New York cabbie (no...
127 - Miracle Man
December 23, 2014 19:00 - 1 hour - 39.1 MBIn this Christmas themed season finale of Failure to Launch, we examine the pilot for Miracle Man. An independently produced pilot, shopped to a few Christian networks, the series asked the question, quote, "What would it look like if Jesus came today?" By "came", they mean lived in Phoenix repairing foreclosed houses, running a faith healing/prayer group out the back of some store that's totally not a cult, saving children from car accidents with his psychic powers,* and not bothering to ...
126 - Annihilator
December 19, 2014 06:02 - 1 hour - 55.6 MBTerminator fans and robot fetishists rejoice! This week's pilot features a secret conspiracy of world domination, and an inexplicably British protagonist who sleeps with not one but two lady robots. In 1986 NBC commissioned Annihilator, a pilot about a man who discovers that humans are being replaced by dog killing, limb severing, chain smoking robot dopple-gangers. Obviously, his immediate reaction is to tell everyone and act completely surprised when nobody believes him. His second plan ...
125 - Steel Justice
December 11, 2014 21:59 - 1 hour - 47.5 MBIt was 1992, and NBC aired a made-for-TV movie (code for failed pilot) based around a crime fighting robot dinosaur. You would think that NBC's blatant cash in on Robosaurus' popularity would actually feature the 2.2 million dollar car eating machine, but if you've been listening to our show then you should know better. In a post global warming future (it's a little bit warm), we follow the story of David Nash, an ace cop trying (and failing) to come to terms with the death of his child. H...
124 - Hysteria
December 04, 2014 22:27 - 1 hour - 37.2 MBEarlier this year, Amazon boldly invested in a TV pilot that tried to dissuade their customers from using the Internet. Unfortunately/fortunately for Amazon their risk didn't pay off, and now we may never really know the mysteries of the "Hysteria" universe. A universe where everyone freaks out over a contagion that only infects three people (maybe). A universe where Laura San Giacomo plays an elderly grandmother. A universe where the only cure for this mystery illness is not spending 9 h...
123 - Earth Angels
November 27, 2014 20:30 - 1 hour - 40.8 MBAnne Rice is one of the most beloved horror authors of the modern era. After the runaway success of her Vampire Chronicles, the middling success of her Lives of the Mayfair Witches and the bewildering publication of her middle school diary, Rice was ready to move to TV! In 2001, she wrote the pilot for the original series, Earth Angels, detailing the secret war between armies of Angels and Demons for the souls of all mankind. Although, it's not really a war. More of a series of petty sp...
122 - 1994 Baker Street: Sherlock Holmes Returns
November 20, 2014 20:30 - 1 hour - 35.8 MB1994 was a big year for TV. ER. Friends. The episode of Ellen where she dated Nitro from American Gladiators. Which could explain how CBS executives dared to pass on the pilot for Sherlock Holmes Returns, in which the world's greatest detective is unfrozen in 1994 San Francisco to solve a series of murders that involve throwing tigers at people. With a wit as sharp as Holmes himself and an enthusiasm as pure as the drugs he'll fight you for, this show will change the way you think about c...
121 - Generation X
November 06, 2014 20:30 - 1 hour - 41 MBIt was 1996, and Marvel wanted to do a live-action X-Men TV series. But these weren't your granddad’s X-Men! Heck no! These were hip, young X-Men that no one's ever heard of or cares about, with amazing new powers like sexual harassment, kinda ripping off Cyclops and being quite muscular for a girl! When these kids go up against a dream invading pedophile (it doesn't come up much, but it's in there) it's thrill-a-minute stuff, packed with high impact diatribes about new age meditation t...
120 - Bates Motel (SPOOOOKY HALLOWEEN EPISODE!)
October 30, 2014 20:30 - 1 hour - 42.2 MBAfter Psycho 3 flopped at the box office in 1986, Universal thought TV might be a better home for the Psycho series. The success of 2014's Bates Motel suggests that Universal had hit upon a good idea. It's the other ideas they had, though. Like Lori Petty's chicken suit. Or Robert Picardo's mental health treatment plan. Or Moses Gunn's armed standoff with the police that no one cares about. Or the sleazy 80s Banker's plan for the Bates Motel. Or the bit where a 35 year old woman almost mak...
119 - Global Frequency
October 23, 2014 20:30 - 1 hour - 39.6 MBIn 2005, the unaired pilot for Global Frequency gained a little infamy; it was one of the first TV pilots to ever leak onto the internet. The WB had already passed on the pilot, so it's possible whoever leaked it was trying to get the network to change their minds. According to Warren Ellis, who created the comic this series was based on, the leaking annoyed the WB execs so much they killed the entire project, despite a positive reception it received from those who torrented it. That is p...
118 - FutureSport
October 16, 2014 20:30 - 1 hour - 43.3 MBThe year is 2025. The Hawaiian Liberation Organisation wants Hawaii to secede from the North American Alliance. War seems inevitable, until Dean Cain, the most popular man in the world, steps in and announces the war will be decided by a game of FutureSport, the dumbest fictional sport since Quiddich. The world agrees to this. Turns out, in 2025, every man, woman & child in the world is a goddamn idiot. Reviewers: James Ferris, Fabian Lapham, Alex Malone Soundboard: Andrew Cherry
117 - Fearless
October 09, 2014 23:15 - 1 hour - 43.6 MBGaia Moore (Rachael Leigh Cook) was born without the gene for fear (not a thing). Because of this, her body doesn't produce adrenaline, so she has heightened strength and reflexes (also not a thing). The FBI send her undercover into an identity theft ring who are convinced she's not a cop because she's not scared of stuff (maybe a thing? Are hackers really dumb?) Turns out, not feeling fear isn't all that useful. Even against milk*. *Just listen to the podcast. We'll try to explain. ...