40 - What We Believe is What Others See

Every week when a new podcast is released, I send an email to people on my subscriber list with a little description of the podcast, along with the link to the free resource of the week. I’m not telling you that to get you on my email list, although of course, there’s a link in the show notes if that’s something that peaks your interest.

I’m telling you this because last week the subject of the email was “What’s Wrong With You?” to go along with the episode title. I had one person answer the email by saying, “my looks and disability.” While I have compassion for this person because I once believed that about myself, I told the reader that the fact that he believes that his looks and disability are what’s wrong with him IS THE PROBLEM.

If you’re listening to this around the time it airs, it is the lovely summer month, in the Northern hemisphere, of July. July is also Disability Pride month. I always like to acknowledge Disability Pride month because I believe we don’t have enough of it in our society. 

What We Believe About Ourselves is What People See

Let me ask you this. If you are believing that your looks or disability is the problem. If you’re believing you can’t attract someone to you because of your looks or the fact that you use a wheelchair, how is a potential date going to see beyond what you believe about yourself?

Whatever we believe about ourselves, either positive or negative, is what others see. If you’re believing that your looks are lacking, that no one will date you because of your disability, or even wondering why the hell should you be proud of your disability, others are going to pick right up on that and say “Nah-ah.”

Building Better Beliefs

I often find this is the hardest part for people I work with to grasp.Living with a disability of any kind can certainly make dating and relationships challenging, but TOTALLY POSSIBLE.

"Every belief has a consequence. Your beliefs either heal you or harm you. They either support your aspirations or thwart them. Beliefs become the source of your limitation or liberation." -Marie Forleo, Everything Is Figureoutable

BELIEF MINDSET #1: WHAT YOU BELIEVE ABOUT YOURSELF

Example: I am a kind and loving person who deserves to be treated well.

BELIEF MINDSET #2: WHAT YOU BELIEVE ABOUT YOUR DISABILITY

Example: Living with a disability make me very interesting as a person.

BELIEF MINDSET #3: YOUR POWER TO ATTRACT

Example: I attract people to me with my kind heart and warm personality.

BELIEF MINDSET #4: WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP YOU DESERVE

Example: I deserve to be in a healthy and happy relationship.

BELIEF MINDSET

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate