37 - Lessons From the Pride Community on Dating With a Disability

Unified Diversity, seems a contradictory term, doesn’t it?

It’s a topic I believe we pay too little attention to in the Disabled community – our solitary with other diverse populations, as well with one another. As someone who has always been and will always be a “minority,” I feel such an affinity with others who are lumped in this ever-growing category.

I, as a white, heterosexual woman, feel a particular kinship to the LBGTQ+ community. First and foremost because so many treasured friends of mine belong to this diverse and dynamic group.

But my affinity runs deeper than friendship…

It’s about owning, claiming, and celebrating a natural part of your being that is still often viewed by the majority as unnatural and even worse, “not right.” While I can’t try to proclaim that I understand the struggles that still exist today for people who are “coming out,” I do certainly understand how it feels to encounter the fear of difference.  I believe as a society we have come a long way in the last few decades in that regard. 

As I have watched the progression of the Pride movement into increased acceptance and value for the diverse ways people live and love, I can’t help but think there are so many lessons for the Disabled community to learn from. At the core of Pride movement, I see people valuing how they’re different for the “majority” and taking pride in their diversity, which has endured a history of shame, denigration, and abuse. Sound familiar?

It can feel so isolating at times to learn to take pride in the very thing that brings so much adversity in your life, whether it be using a wheelchair, loving someone of the same sex, identifying with another gender, or being a different race. Pride, for me on my heterosexual, heteronormative, Disabled lens, is really about celebrating who you are in the face of harsh judgments and bullying fear.

We all struggle to be celebrated in a world that may not accept us. Let’s begin by accepting one another within that realm of difference and learning from one another to accept ALL differences.

Let’s all “come out” as a way of teaching the world that diversity expands and strengthens the global good. This is why we need Unified Diversity and not categories of differences. Let’s not only embrace one another’s struggles, but learn from them as a means of easing our own personal journeys.

You may be asking, “Okay, I get all this, but how does Pride fit into dating with a disability?”

These three simple, yet profound lessons from the Pride movement can really be effective in countering sexual ableism in the dating scene:

Come out and claim, own, and celebrate your disability as a natural part of your being in the face of others seeing it as unnatural and even worse, “not right.” Celebrate who you are in the face of harsh judgments and bullying fear and live your life.

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate