Episode 49 - Moral devastation. Questionable Choices. Shame Untangled. Unimaginable Outcomes

Jennifer describes what she experienced as an emotional divorce, finding herself in a situation where she made a choice that she would have never thought could be something she would follow through with -- an affair. She speaks about the consequences to her mental well-being and how it affected others. The big change in her life started when she came across the most devastating email. She openly shares that she found herself in the same place of where her husband was a few years earlier, being outside her comfort zone, and being at war with herself with regards to values and morals with that one decision she made at that time in her life. Jennifer became so unforgiving of herself for the choices that she made, she engaged in self-shaming, and expressed how alone she felt. She sat with the emotional pain and suffering until with support she gained the perspective that she can separate herself from the choice and not get consumed by the guilt of it. While it might have been a poor choice, it doesn’t negate her entire character and doesn’t define who she really is as a whole person. Jennifer speaks about taking responsibility for her actions and being accountable to herself and those involved. It took her a great deal of time to calm her inner critic and to stop seeing herself as a hypocrite. She learned to make peace with the idea that while her intention was never to hurt anyone, even though the impact of the actions did hurt people she cared most about. Her key message to the listeners is that: whatever you experience today, doesn’t have to define your tomorrow; believe you can get through; there is a lesson to learn, so take it and go forward; relish in great things; and don’t let negativity bias define your character.