When you’re on a date, are you guilty of telling others you don’t want them to waste your time? It’s a nasty, demoralizing expression that implies anyone who isn’t interesting to you, or who isn’t going to give you something you want, is of no use to you. Telling someone who is pursuing you or sharing their love with you that they are wasting your time has the opposite effect of achieving closeness. It devalues them and is hurtful.

 

We say our time has been “wasted,” and yet most of us waste incredible amounts of time stringing other people along by neither committing nor bringing the relationship to a close. That, or we waste time on SnapChat, Instagram, Facebook and Netflix.

 

Sometimes, we continue to sleep with people who we don’t really care about. Other times we keep people in our lives who we know are toxic for us out of convenience. Other times still, we lie to ourselves about breaking up. We convince ourselves that we “don’t want to hurt them,” when in reality we’re too cowardly to do what has to be done.

 

Are you ready to come closer?

 

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