#121 - Solo: The Crisis of Masculinity

 As we celebrated Father’s Day the issue of masculinity has been brought back to spotlight. If you are a man then answer these questions: 
 
1-Are you in a relationship with a woman who is in control of the relationship? 
2- Do you feel like other people don’t understand you or don’t appreciate you? 
3- Do you prefer yoga and massage over weightlifting and aerobic?
4- Do you lack self confidence, dominance, and assertiveness? 
5- Do you feel like you lack goal orientation, focus, and persistence? 
6- Have you experienced serious depression caused by an emotionally triggering event that lasted for a very long time and didn’t go away naturally or with the help of mental health professionals? 
7- Do you prefer crying about a problem instead of channeling your aggression to solve the problem? 
 
If you answered yes to any of these questions then the chances are you are involved with masculinity crisis that has alas gone rampant in the modern world. Young men in these days spend most of their primitive years until the age of 12 with their mothers and their female teachers at elementary schools as often their fathers are out working and later in life they also spend most of their time at home with their girlfriends or wives and at some point they look back at their lives and wonder why they lack masculinity! In this solo edition of Beyond the Present podcast Daniel explains the reason behind the spread of masculinity crisis among men and offers the guidelines on how any man can deal with this crisis and reclaim his manhood.
 
Episode Transcript:----more----

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

men, spend, male role models, young man, masculine, masculinity, father, crisis, women, problem, oftentimes, mom, world, means, lack, issue, people, modern, school teachers, male

SPEAKERS

Dan

Dan  00:11

Hello, welcome to yet another episode of beyond the present podcast, this solo edition. My name is Daniel Morgan, and welcome to this episode dedicated to the Father's Day and of course, the issue of masculinity in general. So first of all, I'd like to congratulate this wonderful day to all the fathers around the world, because obviously, it's you know, their day and I would like to somehow congratulate all of them, and to thank them for the effort that you make to raise the families and to contribute to their families. And today, of course, the major topic of our short discussion today is not so much so that, you know, the Father's Day itself, but the issue of masculinity and the fact that we are unfortunately, in a world right now where masculinity is under attack, and let me just explain that a little bit what that means. You see I have a lot of students friends, contacts, Basically, and staff members who come to me and asked for certain questions regarding how they could be a good man. I mean, this is a serious problem like imagine young people, man after man, they come and ask you listen, Dan, I got a problem. I don't know what it means to be a man anymore. And I don't even know should I do it right now? What's the manly thing here to do? And this clearly shows a certain crisis that we have entered into in the modern world. And that is the masculinity crisis. Now, let me explain what that means. You see, unlike the ancient times, where perhaps a young boy was born into a tribe, and then he would immediately have male role models everywhere, so he would go hunting, he would go fishing, he would go, I don't know, perhaps work with the blacksmiths and the men would oftentimes spend a lot of time with other men. And this way young men would have been learned how to be a man by simply learning from their male role models from their peers that essentially A lot of time with, unfortunately, in the modern world, things have changed a little bit. So most young men in their basically, critical, early years, they tend to spend most of their time with their mothers and not their fathers. Why? Because the father is out working, and making, you know, making money and trying to support the family. So oftentimes, in early years, especially into the first 12 to 15 years of a boy's life, he tends to spend a lot more time with his mother than his father. And this is, of course, one of the side effects of modernity, which unfortunately, has had a negative impact on most basically young man's sense of masculinity and manhood. And that is why we need to address this issue, of course, in this program, like to talk a little bit about, you know, this issue and how it will impact the young generation of men and what we could do about it to somehow resolve the issue. So first of all, when a young man spends most of his time Either at home, I don't know behind computer or playing video games and then physically encountering and you know, in talking with basically his mother, then he will simply not learn to think like a man, he will simply not learn to be a man because he does not have what we call a male role model. You see, oftentimes what I mean, if you look at like role models or mentoring, what it really means is to spend a lot of time interacting with asking questions and being in touch with a role model to ask questions to learn from them, and to emulate their behaviors. But unfortunately, model world that's not possible because these men, these young men tend to somehow spend very little time with their fathers. And you know, what they do instead is to just go to school and then oftentimes when they are young, most of their teachers are also women. If you look at like elementary school, the majority of elementary school teachers are women. So just imagine a seven year old and eight year old, a nine year old who is at home Most of the time, the father is outworking so he wakes up. Hi Mom, how are you and he's tends to spend a lot of time with his mother. Then he goes to school where he's been taught even more by other female teachers and no elementary school. And like he's, you know, at his prime like he's 789. This is this is a time when he is forming his personality, his basic behavior, and he's spending most of his time with other women. And this creates a certain problem and that is lack of male mentoring, lack of male, basically role model. so in this situation, what happens is, this gentleman will then grow up not knowing how to think like a man acquiring a lot of feminine characteristics. That's why a lot of unfortunately men these days, experienced tremendous issues psychologically, they said things like, I don't feel very confident or they call themselves super sensitive or they say things that if you heard from a guy, for example, 300 years ago, you would perhaps say like, what's wrong with this guy? Right? And the answer is very simple because this person has no other, you know, way. Any man, any young man who at the age of 789, spends most of his time interacting with a woman will lack, you know, the skill and the ability to think like a man because he has no ability. And then guess what, father comes home late at night, or maybe in the evening after nine or no, let's say 10. Eight, and then they start talking a little bit while watching TV. So yeah, there is a father here. I mean, we're not even talking about you know, single parents, basically, who, you know, single moms are raising their kids all by themselves. But like, if you look at the amount of time that this young man is going to spend with other women, that is primarily his mother and then his school, school teachers and elementary school. It's basically far more than the, you know, little time that he spent with his father. And this unfortunately, Tails this out. of balance. Because of this in the modern world, a lot of men are dealing with masculinity crisis. And this is the route people have asked like, so what is the source of masculinity crisis, the source is childhood. Now it is true that as these kids grow older, and become teenagers and go to school, eventually they will spend more time with other men. Again, unfortunate doesn't always happen. But it happens in many cases, but by then it's probably a little bit too late because these early primitive years that they've actually gone through, were spent mainly interacting with women. So they have acquired a lot of these traits on a subconscious level in their, you know, their personality, and now they lack a masculine attitude towards life, a masculine way of thinking. And because of this, we are now seeing this crisis happening. So, as we've discussed the source of this problem, basically, now it's time to find a solution. So yes, this is the reason why men in the modern age generally lack clear sense of masculinity. they acquire a lot of things feminine characteristics that are oftentimes not associated with men, and more apparently make most men miserable and unhappy. So next time you saw a young man who seemed to be extremely sensitive, or who seemed to care so much about what other people thought of him, or who seems not to have that level of confidence or assertiveness, or more importantly, if you saw a young man who was in a relationship with a woman that he's not happy with, where the woman just runs all over him, and just tells him to what this is what you do and all that stuff, I'm sure you know, such people around you the kind of men who are in relationships with women who basically are there second moms that they sleep with, which is just really, you know, unacceptable. In this situation, you are seeing the result of masculinity, basically, that is being rubbed off, erupt away from these people and are not unfortunately there. So because of this, we need to solve this issue by teaching these young men what it means to be a man and that requires many That requires them to actually spend time with other men. So, when a man is in a relationship, where he's basically controlled by his wife, let's say, what does that mean? But he's not a man. It's just very simple because our true man gets into a relationship that is winwin productive, where both sides make their voice heard, and where he plays a dominant male role. But in the modern age, when that man has grown up, and as in a society where he spends, perhaps spent most of his childhood with his mom, and then school teachers who are also female, is there any doubts that he grows up, he becomes 25 3035 gets married and then sees like, Oh, I'm so unhappy. My wife is controlling all the time, and I didn't know what to do. It's very simple. It goes back to your childhood. Now, this is of course a, you know, a serious issue. I know. And it's not just about your marriage, it about it's about almost everything else. As a man. It's about your sense of masculinity, your sense of dominance, your sense of self confidence. The kind of goals that you set for yourself, I mean, is your goal, you know, more masculine, for example, in terms of achieving things, getting results, and realizing your potentials or you have more feminine, basically goals of being approved and being light. And we're seeing a lot of these things happening these days in the modern world where people are trying, men especially are trying to act like girls. So instead of trying to be focused on their financial success, they're focused on how well they are basically liked by others. Instead of trying to focus on really developing their abilities and their skills and becoming something more they are concerned about whether people understand them or not. You see, these are all feminine qualities they've learned as a child, you know, as a child with their moms, because it is women who care a lot about being understood and appreciated. These are all feminine qualities, and men doesn't need to be understood. Amanda's needs to be appreciated, he needs to get results and that's what makes him happy. But unfortunately, a lot of men don't do that. So they are imitating the same behaviors they saw from their, you know, moms and from their, you know, Earth school children and are acting like whiskies. And that's exactly why we need to address this issue by helping these men to have male role models. And by letting them know what it means to be a man to be masculine, to have certain qualities that we consider to be masculine in nature, qualities such as goal orientation, persistence, self confidence, equality, such as independence, it's very important. Oh, I don't know. I think my, my, my best friends don't understand me, dude, please become a man. You don't need to be understood. In order to be approved. What you need is to get results. And trust me, once you get the results, you will also get the approval. But that's not what most men have been taught to do. Because there has been no man around to teach them these things. So that we know the source of this problem and this crisis, what remains to be done. Obviously, it's For us, to help these men to learn what it means to be a man. And that is why fortunately, we have nowadays a lot of mentors and a lot of programs designed exactly for this because a lot of men, they have to understand what it means to be a man. Now, Society of course, we just celebrated, you know, Father's Day, we would like to actually talk a little bit about this issue. And that is the first and most important thing that any man any young man can do is to strengthen their relationship with their father, and to learn what it means to be a man because unfortunately, most men in the modern world do not have a very close relationship with their father. In my seminars. In my workshops, I ask oftentimes, like the young man, so to which one are you closer? arguably, in most cases, most men say I am closer to my mom and my dad. This is a problem. You see, I'm very glad that you love your mother. And it's wonderful because I mean, I really believe that you know, a mother is the first love so I am Love My mother, and I'm sure that you do as well. But as a man, if you only love your mom and you spend less remember your mom, what happens? You become a mommy's boy. And that, unfortunately, is what's happened these days. So the first step that most young men could do in the modern world is to strengthen their relationship with their fathers, and to spend more time with their fathers. Now, you're saying, Well, what if I don't know my father passed away, or I have no axe to my father? No problem. The second best, basically, a way to do that is to start spending more time with other men, especially more masculine men, or mentors, who will then help you to think like a man to act like a man so spent, ask yourself, how much of my time do I spend with males and how much of my time to spend with females? If you're a guy just asked this question, how much of your time do you spend with men and how much do with women and if the number is not balanced, that is you do not spend at least as much time with men that you with women, then there is a problem. You're saying? Well, I spend most of my time with my girlfriend. But with my wife, well, I'm sorry. So you spend most of the time as a seven year old with your mom, as a 10 year old with your school teacher, and now as a 2030 year old with your wife, so you're spending most of your time with a woman. And you wonder why you lack masculinity? Well, what is what a difficult riddle to solve? It's very simple. It's the simple math dude. So what you got to do now is to spend more time with other men to balance this thing out. And to realize that, yes, I probably need to spend more time with men to learn from them. Now that again, maybe you don't have a lot of male friends right now because you've, you know, perhaps been a bit more introverted, or you have a lot of middle middle role models. Don't worry, there are a lot of great sources also available in forms of books, seminars, workshops, you can actually use to you know, learn more about these issues. If you just sit near search on Google will reveal lots and lots of resources for you actually to learn from and to study and To be able to somehow know what it means to be a man because ultimately, in the modern world, we're not taught most of us men, because this program, of course, is aimed at men. And of course, we love our ladies, I truly appreciate all of them. But this program is designed specifically just for men because of the Father's Day. And if you're a male listener, please understand that you are living amidst a crisis, which is called the masculinity crisis. A lot of your unhappiness and emotional instability is rooted not in your problems, but in the fact that you think not like a man but a woman. And guess what happens when a man thinks like a woman he will experience tremendous psychological pain and problem because he's thinking in a way that is not in alignment with his body, with his mind with his genetic code, and with his inherent instinctive desires as a man and of course, that leads to permanent. So if you are a man right now, and if you feel that you're one of the many Guys who have lacked a male role model since a young age. And don't worry, you're not alone. There are many such men out there. And what you got to do from now on, is to be able to balance this thing out, through mentorship, through studying and reading, and more importantly, by spending more time with other men, and learning from them, and imitating them, and understanding that, ultimately, a man should be a man and that's an issue that, unfortunately, has not been taught so much. Because in our totally correct world of feminism and modernity, which I am a fan of, by the way, we have then somehow gotten a little bit out of balance, and we don't understand anymore. Yes, it is true that men and women must be treated equally. They need equal rights, they have to have equal basically pay for their work. equality is what I stand for, and I support this is exactly what it is. But being equal, does not mean being the same. being equal does not mean that every man should live like a woman. And every woman should live like a man, no men should live, you know, live their lives according to certain masculine principles, which unfortunately, now our long forgotten model, especially in the Western world, because I travel a lot. Now, in certain countries, when I traveled when I work in, I see that still that, you know, male role models are still out there, and men tend to act more like men. But in the Western world, primarily, we're seeing this crisis right now. And of course, for all of those men, I'd say, start spending more time with men, get male and masculine mentors, start reading and studying and that will then allow you to hopefully get the most out of your experience. So this is all the time we have for today. Once again, I'd like to actually congratulate the you know, the Father's Day is really wonderful. And I really hope that this short talk will then inspire the men to not only spend more time with their fathers just spend more time with their numbers. One male role model that is their fathers, but to also take this issue seriously and start to invest in themselves and to know what it means to think like a real man. Thank you so much guys wish you all the best. If you have any questions, you can reach me on my website or on the social media and I'll be glad to answer all of your questions. Until then, have a good one.