#141 - Are Boundaries a Sign of Disapproval?

People have a lot of misconceptions about boundaries. You may hear people say that boundaries are harsh, rigid, a punishment, or even selfish. Some people even believe that sharing boundaries is a way to control others or tell them what to do. Recently, I’ve heard another misconception: setting a boundary with someone is a sign that you disapprove of them. Tune in to learn why this isn’t the case, and how your boundaries are all about you.

 

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #141:

Whether you disapprove of someone isn’t the focus or the issue when you set a boundary. To focus on approval or disapproval is a deflection away from your limits. If someone’s first reaction to your choice to set a boundary is to accuse you of disapproving of them, they are simply expressing their opinion, and the may be acting without accountability. Your limits are about you and you alone. Boundaries are a form of self-care. They’re about taking care of yourself, not disapproving of someone else.

 

Highlights from Episode #141:

Welcome to the episode! Vicki chats about the reasons she started this podcast. [00:39] We hear about some common misconceptions about boundaries. [02:15] Vicki adds a new misconception to the list: if you set a boundary with another person, it means that you don’t approve of them. [05:57] Does setting a boundary mean that you disapprove of someone or their behavior? [09:40] Vicki talks about boundaries as a form of self-care, and explains with an example. [11:35] If you set a limit and someone calls you rigid, harsh, or disapproving, they’re changing the subject from you to them. [14:52] Remember that your boundaries are about you and your self-care! [17:06]

 

Links and Resources:

Vicki’s monthly Boundaries Clarifier Workshops Vicki Tidwell Palmer Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Facebook Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Instagram The Radiant Threefold Path Beyond Bitchy on Spotify