225 – Being A realistic Man

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I appreciate you taking a little time out of your manly day to listen in.  My intention is that you will receive something from this podcast that will cause you to think.  That you will be inspired to consider your own personal manhood as you go through your day.  It’s important, because staying aware and purposeful and mindful of your role in the world will result in you being a better man today than you were yesterday.  I am your host, my name is Alf Herigstad.
Right off the bat though, I’m going to give a huge shout out to our sponsor;  Stump Town Kilts.  I realize that it might be easy for you guys to hear me talk about Stump Town kilts every Friday and you get used to it—immune to it even.  You may not realize how important it is to have a sponsor that helps me be able to produce this show, so that you can listen to it.  It really is a vital component to what we do here because believe it or not, this takes time and resources to create.  Time and resources cost money.
There are three things that keep us going; Stump Town kilts, our Patreon page, and my book.  These are the three main revenue streams that keep this podcast afloat.  I know there are a bunch of you out there that hear me talk about these kilts and you intend to get one, you have every intention of it.  The same is true of the Patreon Page and the book.  You intend to, but then life happens and you start doing something else and you forget.  I get it—I do the same thing all the time, but that’s why I keep bringing it up.  To help remind you.
So look, if you are one of those guys that has been intending to get your very own Stump Town Kilt, you can decide to wait no longer!  Go to http://stumptownkilts.com (stumptownkilts.com) and start shopping for your new kilt right now.  When you are checking out enter the purchase code:  betterman, all lower case, all one word, and you will receive 10% off your entire purchase.  Then come back and listen to the rest of this episode.
I would not ask you to do this if I didn’t believe in this product 100%.  In my opinion these are the finest, most well made, versatile, innovative kilts on the market.  That’s why I own three of them.  Do this, and you will be thrilled with your new kilt and, all the compliments you get when you wear it.
What I want to talk about today is being realistic.  To be realistic about everything but mainly to be realistic about yourself.  I’m talking about being real and honest about who you are, what your capabilities are, what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. 
Most of us are either pessimists or optimists.  Most of us see the same glass of water half full or half empty.  Meanwhile, a realists sees that same glass exactly for what it is…a glass with water in it, and room for more water. 
I personally am an optimist.  I think it’s a pretty good way to be because it provides me with the attitude I need to overcome most adversity.  I’m always looking on the bright side and finding the silver lining and I always see the glass as half full.  It’s just how I am and I think it’s good for the most part, but there are times when I am better served by simply being realistic.  I had to learn how to suppress my optimism at times and instead adopt a realistic view.  Now, I would call myself an optimistic realist.
Recently I heard about something that is happening in the world that is a good example of this.  There are a lot of young men entering the work force every year.  Many of them are having a hard time find a job even though lots of places are hiring.  Some of these guys were interviewed to see what was happening and it was revealed that they are applying for management jobs, because that pays more. 
The problem is that these guys have no management experience whatsoever.  In fact many of them have zero experience, doing anything.  They are not being realistic about their own skill set.  Maybe they have a...

I appreciate you taking a little time out of your manly day to listen in.  My intention is that you will receive something from this podcast that will cause you to think.  That you will be inspired to consider your own personal manhood as you go through your day.  It’s important, because staying aware and purposeful and mindful of your role in the world will result in you being a better man today than you were yesterday.  I am your host, my name is Alf Herigstad.
Right off the bat though, I’m going to give a huge shout out to our sponsor;  Stump Town Kilts.  I realize that it might be easy for you guys to hear me talk about Stump Town kilts every Friday and you get used to it—immune to it even.  You may not realize how important it is to have a sponsor that helps me be able to produce this show, so that you can listen to it.  It really is a vital component to what we do here because believe it or not, this takes time and resources to create.  Time and resources cost money.
There are three things that keep us going; Stump Town kilts, our Patreon page, and my book.  These are the three main revenue streams that keep this podcast afloat.  I know there are a bunch of you out there that hear me talk about these kilts and you intend to get one, you have every intention of it.  The same is true of the Patreon Page and the book.  You intend to, but then life happens and you start doing something else and you forget.  I get it—I do the same thing all the time, but that’s why I keep bringing it up.  To help remind you.
So look, if you are one of those guys that has been intending to get your very own Stump Town Kilt, you can decide to wait no longer!  Go to stumptownkilts.com and start shopping for your new kilt right now.  When you are checking out enter the purchase code:  betterman, all lower case, all one word, and you will receive 10% off your entire purchase.  Then come back and listen to the rest of this episode.
I would not ask you to do this if I didn’t believe in this product 100%.  In my opinion these are the finest, most well made, versatile, innovative kilts on the market.  That’s why I own three of them.  Do this, and you will be thrilled with your new kilt and, all the compliments you get when you wear it.
What I want to talk about today is being realistic.  To be realistic about everything but mainly to be realistic about yourself.  I’m talking about being real and honest about who you are, what your capabilities are, what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. 
Most of us are either pessimists or optimists.  Most of us see the same glass of water half full or half empty.  Meanwhile, a realists sees that same glass exactly for what it is…a glass with water in it, and room for more water. 
I personally am an optimist.  I think it’s a pretty good way to be because it provides me with the attitude I need to overcome most adversity.  I’m always looking on the bright side and finding the silver lining and I always see the glass as half full.  It’s just how I am and I think it’s good for the most part, but there are times when I am better served by simply being realistic.  I had to learn how to suppress my optimism at times and instead adopt a realistic view.  Now, I would call myself an optimistic realist.
Recently I heard about something that is happening in the world that is a good example of this.  There are a lot of young men entering the work force every year.  Many of them are having a hard time find a job even though lots of places are hiring.  Some of these guys were interviewed to see what was happening and it was revealed that they are applying for management jobs, because that pays more. 
The problem is that these guys have no management experience whatsoever.  In fact many of them have zero experience, doing anything.  They are not being realistic about their own skill set.  Maybe they have a view of themselves that makes them feel they would be great at telling other people what to do.  The reality though, is that they have not earned that credential.  It takes time and experience to acquire that.
Another area guys are often not realistic in is dating.  This is causing a ton of frustration and confusion for all parties involved.  Imagine being a woman and some guy assumes you should want to date him yet, he doesn’t bring anything to the table.  Maybe he has no job, or poor hygiene, or no sense of humor.  No car, no address of his own, and no prospects or plans for the future.  He may have some or all of these problems.  Amazingly, through some mysterious form of irrational entitlement, he can’t imagine why a woman would not be interested in him.
I have also seen pessimistic guys who can’t believe anyone would want them, even though women are practically throwing themselves at him. 
It’s a weird deal, but in both cases these guys are not in touch with their reality.  They are not looking in the mirror.  They are not being objective and honest with themselves, and it causes problems.
Not being realistic can cause problems in every area of life if you aren’t careful.  Personally, I tend to think that this type of separation from reality is a form of laziness, I’ll explain why.  Some guys may see something about themselves that isn’t quite right, something that could use improvement or something they lack.  Right then they could decide to focus on that thing whatever it is.  They could focus on it with the intention of improving it so it is no longer a liability.  They could master that new skill, or lose that 20 pounds, or whatever.  Unfortunately that would require two things they are not willing to give though; time and effort.  They want what they want right NOW.
So instead they just gloss it over and convince themselves that they are OK just the way they are.  The problem becomes invisible to them and they go through the world acting as though it doesn’t exists.  The reality is, that they may not actually be ok just the way they are. 
I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad.  Almost everyone has done this to some degree including myself, it’s a human way of coping with things.  That does not make it right though, or optimal.  Glossing over things that need your time and attention will not make you a better man. 
So that’s why I’m talking about this today.  If you are committed to being a better man then you will have to pause occasionally to evaluate your level of reality.  Check in and see where you are at.  Put in the time and effort that you need to actually improve things, because once you do, that’s one less thing you have to worry about.  Each day you are alive put a little focus on being realistic about who and what you are.  Improve the things that need improvement and celebrate the things you are awesome at.  If you make it a habit to check in with reality every day you will find it’s a lot easier to be a better man today than you were yesterday. 
Hey remember to to check out my new book, Forging A Man, available right now on Amazon.

 (GET THE BOOK HERE)
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