224 – A Better Man Knows How To LISTEN

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A Better Man Knows How To Listen…
This is the podcast that focuses on the character of men.  Part of our core philosophy here is that if we become concerned with and focused on, our character as men.  Then everything else in our life will start falling in place as a result.  Think about it—if you are really trying to be a better man today than you were yesterday, and you are doing that every day, there will be some predictable results.
Your relationships with other people will be improved.  That means all your relationships; your love life, your work relationships, social and family relationships will all be enhanced because you will be operating at a higher level in each of those areas as you strive to be a better man.  You will have care for others and a clear idea of what your role is in the world, your function as a man.  People will naturally like, trust, and appreciate you more and that translates to improved relationships across the board. 
Your relationship with yourself will even be improved because you will know and like yourself better.  You will be proud of the things you do right.  Your confidence will be increased as you come to know yourself better.  You come to see your shortcomings as opportunities to improve, rather than feeling bad about them.  So that is what we are all about here at Being A better Man.  Improving your life, and the lives of people around you.
People often ask me how I keep coming up with shows.  This is episode 224, that is a lot of episodes and it boggles some peoples mind that there is that much to say about being a better man.  The truth is, and what I tell people, is that it isn’t really that hard.  There is so much material out there in the world every day.  All I have to do is spend 10 minutes on social media or take a trip into town and everywhere I look there is something to talk about.
Now–people that know me also send me articles or share posts with me that they think may be relevant to the podcast and that’s fantastic.  Recently my wife shared a story with me, a post written by someone she knows personally.  In this post her friend was lamenting the fact that she is completely fed up with men.  Specifically, her issue is that when men approach her romantically and she is not interested—a large majority of men in her experience then become abusive.  They attack her, call her names, stalk and harass her.  Basically, they act very much like a spoiled, entitled three year old that is denied the cookie they asked for. 
My wife went on to tell me that she has heard many women having this experience.  To the point that she believes it is becoming a real problem out there.  She thought maybe I could make an episode about this phenomenon. 
Here’s the deal though.  This is the problem I have with topics like this.  In my world, I never—or very seldom see things like this happening.  Why?  The primary reason is because I’m not a woman.  It’s kind of like when my kids were little and one of them tattled on the other for doing something.  If I didn’t see it happen then it was kind of hard to punish the other child with any degree of gusto unless there was physical evidence.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally believe my wife on this because she is very tuned in to these kinds of issues.  She has her finger on the pulse.  I totally believe her but, the other problem is that it’s so hard for me to imagine what would make a guy react this way.  When I hear about male behavior like this I’m always a bit stunned because I don’t act that way.  Nor do any of the men I know or associate with and yet—it’s happening, a lot.
Another difficulty I have when it comes to bringing stuff like this up on the show, is I tend to think that you guys listening to this podcast are not the same guys that need to hear the message.  I like to think that my audience is mostly made up of guys who are genuinely out there being...

A Better Man Knows How To Listen…
This is the podcast that focuses on the character of men.  Part of our core philosophy here is that if we become concerned with and focused on, our character as men.  Then everything else in our life will start falling in place as a result.  Think about it—if you are really trying to be a better man today than you were yesterday, and you are doing that every day, there will be some predictable results.
Your relationships with other people will be improved.  That means all your relationships; your love life, your work relationships, social and family relationships will all be enhanced because you will be operating at a higher level in each of those areas as you strive to be a better man.  You will have care for others and a clear idea of what your role is in the world, your function as a man.  People will naturally like, trust, and appreciate you more and that translates to improved relationships across the board. 
Your relationship with yourself will even be improved because you will know and like yourself better.  You will be proud of the things you do right.  Your confidence will be increased as you come to know yourself better.  You come to see your shortcomings as opportunities to improve, rather than feeling bad about them.  So that is what we are all about here at Being A better Man.  Improving your life, and the lives of people around you.
People often ask me how I keep coming up with shows.  This is episode 224, that is a lot of episodes and it boggles some peoples mind that there is that much to say about being a better man.  The truth is, and what I tell people, is that it isn’t really that hard.  There is so much material out there in the world every day.  All I have to do is spend 10 minutes on social media or take a trip into town and everywhere I look there is something to talk about.
Now–people that know me also send me articles or share posts with me that they think may be relevant to the podcast and that’s fantastic.  Recently my wife shared a story with me, a post written by someone she knows personally.  In this post her friend was lamenting the fact that she is completely fed up with men.  Specifically, her issue is that when men approach her romantically and she is not interested—a large majority of men in her experience then become abusive.  They attack her, call her names, stalk and harass her.  Basically, they act very much like a spoiled, entitled three year old that is denied the cookie they asked for. 
My wife went on to tell me that she has heard many women having this experience.  To the point that she believes it is becoming a real problem out there.  She thought maybe I could make an episode about this phenomenon. 
Here’s the deal though.  This is the problem I have with topics like this.  In my world, I never—or very seldom see things like this happening.  Why?  The primary reason is because I’m not a woman.  It’s kind of like when my kids were little and one of them tattled on the other for doing something.  If I didn’t see it happen then it was kind of hard to punish the other child with any degree of gusto unless there was physical evidence.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally believe my wife on this because she is very tuned in to these kinds of issues.  She has her finger on the pulse.  I totally believe her but, the other problem is that it’s so hard for me to imagine what would make a guy react this way.  When I hear about male behavior like this I’m always a bit stunned because I don’t act that way.  Nor do any of the men I know or associate with and yet—it’s happening, a lot.
Another difficulty I have when it comes to bringing stuff like this up on the show, is I tend to think that you guys listening to this podcast are not the same guys that need to hear the message.  I like to think that my audience is mostly made up of guys who are genuinely out there being better men than they were yesterday.  You aren’t attacking women like a spoiled child, you aren’t calling people names and harassing them because you are being better men.  I respect you guys.  I don’t want to insult you.
So that is my challenge.  When I hear about abhorrent male behavior I want to do something about it.  I want to talk about it and make other people aware.  At the same time, I don’t want to alienate the good men that listen to this show, as though you think I’m talking about you personally.
The thing is, when males behave badly in the world it effects all of us.  It effects the world our daughters and sisters and friends live in.  It effects our sons when they witness this behavior and think it’s ok.  Also effected, is the way all of us are perceived as a group.  In a way we are all guilty by association simply because we are male.  Of course that isn’t accurate.  We aren’t the bad guys, but we are the living example for the bad guys, and we need to have more impact.
Like I said earlier, if my wife had not came to me with this, then It would not have been on my radar.  There is a huge lesson in that point for all of us.  The point being, that we need to listen.  Just because we don’t see something doesn’t mean it does not exist.  We need to hear when the women we know relate their experience to us.  Our challenge, yours and mine–is to acknowledge these things that good men would normally have no idea of.  We can do that by not only listening, but by really hearing and believing, and asking questions too. 
There is only one world, and we’re all a part of it.  As men, the things that happen in this world should matter to us.  In particular the things that other men are out there doing.  Only when we know what the problem is will we know what to say when we speak up.  Only then will we understand what kind of example we need to be, and only then can we start becoming part of the solution.
Now head out there into the big world and pay attention.  Don’t ignore stuff just because you think it doesn’t affect you.  It does affect you, because it’s happening in your world and as a man you should be concerned with that.  Listen to the women you know, get some insight into their experience.  You will be better able to be a positive force, and if you are a positive force in the world then you are most assuredly being a better man than you were yesterday.
Hey remember to to check out my new book, Forging A Man, available right now on Amazon.

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