Baltimorons
144 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 2 months ago - ★★★★★ - 43 ratingsBaltimorons is Baseball Things, considered. An always passionate, frequently irreverent, and occasionally factual weekly romp through the wild world of O's baseball, adulthood, fandom in general. Join hosts Sam Dingman and Alan Smith, expatriate Birdbrains clinging to their orange torch in the wilds of New York City, as they marvel at the endless wonders of the cosmic narrative, from Baltimore to Brooklyn and beyond.
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Episodes
Sheffield of Dreams (w/ Andy Zaltzman)
March 06, 2014 15:41 - 52 minutesThe Bugle's Andy Zaltzman joins us for a spirited rumination on the nature of tyranny, why sports are preferable to real life, and the potential for Derek Jeter to find a second career as a cricket player. Plus: Alan takes the "Terminator" series of films to task, the Todd Frohwirth Franchise Report looks at the Johan Santana signing and its accompanying ethical issues, and the Morons announce the winners of the 2013 Hot Stove Oscars.
February is the Foldest Month (w/ April Whitzman)
February 27, 2014 16:03 - 57 minutesWe welcome 2013 MLB Fan Cave Dweller April Whitzman, who dishes on the life in the Cave and provides words of caution for O's fans who think we're simply going to Cruz into October. Speaking of Nelly, The Larry Harlow Franchise Report examines the implications of his presence in a vocally anti-PED clubhouse. Alan marvels at the onset of late-winter insanity across the globe, and Sam provides a much-needed reminder about the secret strength of Orioles fans, which is, of course, puns.
Illuminated Danuscript
February 20, 2014 15:29 - 38 minutesAlan reveals the historical origins of baseball as we know it, we apologize for ever doubting Dan Duquette, and Sam shares a personal story from his youth, a testament to the mostly-discarded magic of the sports page.
Bring In The Professionals (w/ Ben Lindbergh)
February 13, 2014 18:02 - 44 minutesThe Morons welcome Baseball Prospectus Editor in Chief Ben Lindbergh for an in-depth look at the Orioles' approach to the free agent market, as well as the evolution of the role of advanced statistical metrics in team strategy. They also sing a song, pay tribute to the proud legacy of Wayne Krenchiki, and remember a curious historical incident involving the Sioux Falls Jackanapes and a sandwich board.
Welcome to Night Baseball
February 06, 2014 15:35 - 52 minutesA jam-packed show this week, featuring an exciting experiment in community organizing for Orioles fans, a fond farewell to Chris Jakubauskas, the complicated legacy of Madonna, and our loving tribute to the brilliant "Welcome to Night Vale" podcast.
Meaningless Yet Amazing (w/ Roch Kubatko)
January 30, 2014 15:38 - 43 minutesMASN's Roch Kubatko joins us for a much-needed reality check about the State of the Union in Moron Nation, and the Whitey Lockman Franchise Report covers AJ Burnettt, the troubling realities of WAR, and unionized college athletes. Plus: an exclusive preview of the upcoming film "Unmasked Justice," starring Matt Wieters.
Vanilla Spaceships
January 23, 2014 15:18 - 50 minutesAlan ponders the cultural legacy of Elvis Presley, the Al Pardo Franchise Report examines a curious aspect of the US tax code, Joelle Gamble talks about politics with an intelligence not befitting the program's proud tradition, and we listen to a broadcast of a game between the Phantom City Muskellunges and the Winnetonka Spacemen.
More Grave Words
January 16, 2014 15:03 - 43 minutesThe Ed Barnowski Franchise Report looks at internet sleuthing and Delmon Young; Alan expresses mild opinions about the recently-announced film adaptation of "1984," Ben Masten tries to pretend it's a rough time to be a Yankee fan, and J. Wellington Scrimshire presents "Hotstove Theatre."
Punctuation (w/ Phil Gentile)
January 09, 2014 16:15 - 50 minutesA voyage in to the nether regions of the moronic mind, featuring ruminations on climate change, wizardry (aka Greg Maddux), the Orioles' automotive profile, and a Special Comment on the current state of the National Football League.
Shading Towards Disaster (w/ Michael Clair)
December 22, 2013 00:25 - 49 minutesThe dysfunction of the Orioles offseason reaches a fever pitch, and Sam and Alan are growing increasingly concerned that the whole thing is just an elaborate and ill-conceived parody of "The Music Man." Plus, Michael Clair (Baseball Prospectus, Old Time Family Baseball) calls in to discuss his ongoing amazingness.
Known Unknowns
December 12, 2013 15:36 - 54 minutesA thorough examination of the Duquette Doctrine, with much discussion of the Orioles' apparent lack of offseason ambition, an investigative report on the whereabouts of the Orioles Spastics, and Dan Duquette himself as the musical guest.
Jacoby Sharkleberry (w/ Nick Mendillo)
December 05, 2013 15:24 - 54 minutesThe stove is piping hot, and the Morons are accordingly all fired up. Much discussion of the recent flurry of trade activity, an in-depth discussion of the MLB Fan Cave experience with 2013 Dweller Nick Mendillo, and a free agent cautionary tale in musical form.
Cookies & Pie (Thanksgiving Special Edition)
November 29, 2013 19:29 - 15 minutesSam and Alan share personal essays on the themes of baseball and gratitude.
Hamburgers & Butter
November 22, 2013 17:37 - 44 minutesMarcel Proust, agrarian economic principles, and nostalgia for the more innocent days of the physical sports page. Almost no Orioles talk this week, but you should be expecting that at this point.
The Other Times
November 14, 2013 17:21 - 51 minutesBullpen coach discrimination, new stadium nonsense, and a strategy of radical pragmatism regarding next year's starting rotation. Plus, a Special Comment from Alan Smith.
Hot Ice
November 08, 2013 16:22 - 43 minutesGold gloves, pitching coaches, neck tattoos, and Theodore Roosevelt.
Too Many Hats
October 24, 2013 19:04 - 55 minutesEpisode 70 arrives in your feed replete with trenchant observations on the role of narrative in baseball, whether or not buying hats with World Series patches is lame, sincere appreciation for French culture, and a damn sonnet to boot.
2013 Season Shutdown (Part 2)
October 10, 2013 17:16 - 58 minutesThe thrilling conclusion to our 2013 season wrap-up, featuring Charlie Hoppes (Orioles Spastics), Cal from the OBP Podcast, and musical guest Charlie Hoppes.
2013 Season Shutdown (Part 1)
October 03, 2013 16:58 - 47 minutesSam and Alan recap the 2013 season with a cavalcade of guests from the Baltimore Sports Network and beyond. Featuring the triumphant return of Dan Duquette!
So Many Feelings
September 26, 2013 17:32 - 1 hourSam and Alan leave their customary format (which you could argue isn't really there in the first place) behind for a more free-flowing, emotion-driven episode, in which they ponder the deeper implications of Manny's knee injury, the ever-dangerous Expectations Game, and try to pinpoint the exact location of the Buck Showalter Blame Line.
Happy Grinning Riot (w/ Eric M)
September 19, 2013 15:31 - 53 minutesThe lurid pornography of the Red Sox lineup, potential offseason free agent targets for Dan Duquette & co, and a brand new segment: "Mike Bordick's Best in the Game."
Doublechuck (w/ Charlie Wilmoth & Charlie Hoppes)
September 11, 2013 14:25 - 43 minutesBaltimorons welcomes a pair of Charlies to the phone lines for a typically trenchant episode. Topics covered include: competitive eating, pennant race attendance at Oriole Park, production with RISP (or lack thereof), NFL ass-hattery, the Pirates' first winning season in 20 years, laughing at traffic accidents, and Phil Collins.
Gomes Gnomes in Rome
September 06, 2013 16:05 - 55 minutesA many-splendored show this week, in which we ponder the legacy of Cassius Clay, the future of Chris Tillman, and the quiet genius of Dan Duqette. Also, Alan explains how football works to Sam.
The Winter of Our Discontent
August 29, 2013 16:10 - 44 minutesOne week ago, Sam and Alan made bold predictions about how the Orioles would be doing entering this evening's play. They were predictably incorrect about most of things, but thankfully also scored an interview with the mysterious man known as "O's Sunglass Guy," who lightens the otherwise somber mood.
Old Ironsides (w/ Matt Fried)
August 22, 2013 18:00 - 49 minutesSam and Alan talk instant replay and unpack the complicated legacy of Henry Urrutia's brief tour of duty as Occoasional Designated Hitter. Plus, Matt Fried calls in to lament the sad tale of Charlie Manuel.
Rolodexterity
August 15, 2013 17:50 - 49 minutesSam and Alan talk blown saves, blowing winds of change, and doublethink. They are joined by guest Neil DeMause, co-author of the book "Field of Schemes," which chronicles the massive corruption and deception that too often accompany the construction of professional sports stadiums.
Asterisky Business
August 07, 2013 16:15 - 41 minutesA lot of shows are talking A-Rod and BioGenesis this week, but only the Baltimorons are doing so in combination with a modern-day adaptation of "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner," as composed by Dan Duquette. Plus, your tweets and emails! Speak to us! http://baltimoronspodcast.com http://twitter.com/bmorons
CXT
August 02, 2013 15:52 - 39 minutesSam and Alan land yet another phone interview with Dan Duquette, who offers a trading deadline postmortem, as well as his views on the United States education system. Plus, an exciting announcement about the future of the show!
Second Half Predictions! (w/ Ben Kabak)
July 23, 2013 18:00 - 40 minutesThis week's title is remarkably pun-free! Ben Kabak joins us to look ahead at the second half of the 2013, and we endeavor to predict what only fate can truly know for sure.
Squirt Guns & Lighter Fluid (w/ "Dan Duquette")
July 15, 2013 15:09 - 41 minutesSam and Alan are joined once again by Orioles Executive VP of Baseball Operations Dan Duquette. They discuss the acquisition of Scott Feldman, take on the fierce debate about the value of no-hitters, talk a little Aldous Huxley, and listen to a lullaby sung by Fred Manfra.
Greed & Capitalism (Independence Day Special)
July 04, 2013 21:04 - 26 minutesA Baltimorons Special Report (TM) on the topic of baseball ownership and it's often astounding levels of evil.
Tricks of the Trade (feat. Lucas Heppner)
July 02, 2013 16:37 - 46 minutesSam and Alan land two huge interviews: Lucas Heppner, who runs the Orioles Nation Official Facebook page, and Executive VP of Baseball Operations Dan Duquette. One of them goes better than the other.
TPB
June 24, 2013 18:09 - 41 minutesAlan meditates on the historical significance of Joe Dimaggio's hitting streak and laments the dearth of exciting nicknames in the modern era, and then Sam ruins the episode with a staggering amount of gutter-talk. PLUS: A FUN AND EXCITING POLL FOR YOU TO VOTE IN.
Illusions of Grandeur (w/ Orioles Spastics)
June 19, 2013 14:43 - 49 minutesSam and Alan are joined by the Orioles Spastics crew to create what scientists believe is the first-ever Orioles starting lineup comprised entirely of characters from Arrested Development.
Red Fred Redemption (w/ Jonah Keri)
June 12, 2013 14:10 - 44 minutesGlobal politics, horrendous puns, and Jacques Cousteau collide in the latest edition of Baltimorons! So, pretty much a typical episode. Plus, Sam and Alan are joined by New York Times best-selling author and Grantland columnist Jonah Keri to discuss Chris Davis, Peter Angelos, and BioGenesis!
Forestry (w/ Ben Masten)
June 07, 2013 15:15 - 46 minutesAlan and Sam explore their feelings on some promising statistical trends for the Birds, the latest Biogenesis revelations, and the evergreen gimcrack industry.
Truth Babies (w/ Section 336)
May 29, 2013 15:58 - 51 minutesSam and Alan rap with Matt and Josh from the brand-new Section 336 podcast, another O's-focused hub of silliness that's been tearing up the iTunes of late. They also ponder whether to Cliff or not to Cliff, come down considerably from last week's Gausmania, and get a little Trotsky-tastic (Leon, not Hal) on some recent baseball-related political kerfuffles.
A Donut Menagerie?
May 23, 2013 15:56 - 50 minutesSam and Alan muster appropriate (and inappropriate) excitement for the imminent arrival of Kevin Gausman, and, as usual, do their best to foster international goodwill via Orioles podcast.
Dynasteasing (w/ Kelsey Weinrich)
May 16, 2013 15:31 - 40 minutesSam and Alan wonder if the Orioles are in fact building the formations of the next great Orioles dynasty, or just toying with their emotions. Kelsey Shea Weinrich calls in to discuss how Morons should comport themselves should said dyansty ever turn up. PLUS: Sam and Alan politely decline the papacy.
Arns in the Fah (w/ Bird's Eye View)
May 08, 2013 14:31 - 41 minutesSam and Alan learn to speak Bawlmerese, courtesy of the fine chaps at Bird's Eye View, another excellent Orioles podcast which is actually based in Baltimore, unlike our sham of an operation. Scientology, world hunger, fire engines, and Freddy Garcia are also discussed at great length.
Mike Trout: Lookout! (w/ Jay Ducote)
May 02, 2013 14:50 - 50 minutesAn episode devoted to Dionysian desires, primarily DEM FOODS. Our guest Jay Ducote, host of the Bite and Booze radio show (and Sam's fellow MLB Fan Cave finalist) joins us to share his customized AL West-themed five-course meal, which prompts Sam and Alan to propose an AL East counterpart, with far less delicious results.
Going Deep (w/ Brian Lehrer)
April 24, 2013 15:32 - 44 minutesAlan and Sam are joined by WNYC radio luminary Brian Lehrer, who for some reason agrees to take a very silly quiz and also waxes philosophical about baseball's mystical allure. The Morons also ponder the Orioles current pitching woes and wonder if Matt Wieters will ever take that last step forward.
Zen Master Gary Thorne (w/ David Temple)
April 17, 2013 15:10 - 41 minutesSam and Alan uncover Gary Thorne's secret identity, speculate as to that of Conor Jackson, and chat with David Temple, creator and host of the very fine "Stealing Home" podcast.
Ferris Wheels & Merry-Go-Rounds (w/ Michael Clair)
April 12, 2013 15:27 - 49 minutes - 56.4 MBSam and Alan are joined by Michael Clair, the man behind the magic that is Old Time Family Baseball. They discuss the enduring allure of Steve Pearce, the questionable career choices of Adrien Brody, and Michael's next top-secret endeavor. Plus, your always-excellent emails and phone calls!