Baltimorons
144 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 2 months ago - ★★★★★ - 43 ratingsBaltimorons is Baseball Things, considered. An always passionate, frequently irreverent, and occasionally factual weekly romp through the wild world of O's baseball, adulthood, fandom in general. Join hosts Sam Dingman and Alan Smith, expatriate Birdbrains clinging to their orange torch in the wilds of New York City, as they marvel at the endless wonders of the cosmic narrative, from Baltimore to Brooklyn and beyond.
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Episodes
We Feel Stupid
February 09, 2016 04:14 - 42 minutesBen Masten joins us to talk about the Yankees offseason, and the generally cavalier attitude towards starting pitching in the American League East. Plus: why urrbody so angry?
Gaus the Hoss
January 19, 2016 04:07 - 36 minutesSure sure, hooray Chris Davis, yahoo, whatever. Who in the name of Blue-Eyed-Jimmy-Palmer is going to PITCH, dammit?!
The Big Shortstop
January 12, 2016 04:37 - 57 minutesKicking off 2016 by getting fired up about a number of topics, including (but not limited to): "The Big Short," HOF balloting, druncles, #FeelingTheBern (or #NotFeelingTheBern), and stadium funding. So, a pretty typical episode, really.
On the Doorstep of the Hot Stove
December 09, 2015 04:17 - 51 minutesWe ponder the implications of the Winter Meetings, the Republican Party, and the deleterious effect that each has on our sanity at this, the most wonderful time of the year.
Mango Moonbeam
October 30, 2015 18:48 - 46 minutesIn which the dastardly Nick Markovich challenges us to The Game of Games of Games, which involves Orioles trivia and disgusting jelly beans.
Factories of Sadness
October 12, 2015 03:54 - 1 hourIn which we return from a prolonged hiatus to discover a harrowing set of offseason quandaries and a heartfelt plea from a Mets fan to throw our loyalties to his cause.
Seller Dwellers (w/ Ben Adams)
July 31, 2015 17:59 - 37 minutesAs the Orioles wrestle with the decision to buy or sell at the deadline, we examine the pros and cons of both approaches. Plus: Ben Adams (Slate) on baseball's rapidly-evolving media strategy.
Date Charlie Hoppes (w/ Charlie Hoppes)
July 15, 2015 15:37 - 55 minutesA wide-ranging conversation with Charlie Hoppes (of the dearly-departed Orioles Spastics podcast), covering the latest developments in Charlie's sleepwear, Charlie's thoughts on Game of Thrones, Charlie's dating life, and the Orioles midseason prognosis.
The Drought (w/ Dave McKenna)
June 30, 2015 14:23 - 35 minutesThe Morons resume the road, with a sincere apology (and explanation) from Sam for the prolonged delay. Dave McKenna (Deadspin) joins us to explain why Peter Angelos didn't do as good a deed as he was given credit for after the Freddie Gray protests. PLUS: Shakespeare presages the latest Bundy Troubles.
Assaulting the Monolith (w/ Craig Calcaterra)
May 18, 2015 14:51 - 41 minutesCraig Calcaterra (NBC's Hardball Talk) joins us to talk about baseball's stodgy corporate culture, how to be a fresh voice in an increasingly stale media environment, and why the Expos are the In-N-Out Burger of baseball. Find Craig on Twitter @craigcalcaterra.
Dearth
May 07, 2015 17:15 - 57 minutesThe Ryan Webb Franchise Report investigates the Chris Davis's rapidly-deteriorating ability to make contact, the rash of recent injuries, and offers praise to the city of Tampa Bay for its Baltimore impression. Sarah Estrella laments the demise of McCoy Stadium in Pawtucket. PLUS: essayist Matt Fried bids a fond farewell to the Cliff Lee Era in Philadelphia.
Forward
May 01, 2015 14:53 - 45 minutesWe're joined by Travis Waldron (Think Progress) to consider the multitude of issues raised by the week's events in Baltimore, and to wonder how we, baseball in general, and America can do better.
2015 Orioles Nickname Audit
April 17, 2015 14:55 - 1 hourAt long last! The much-anticipated 2015 Nickname Show, complete with overcomplicated puns and lots of giggling. Every player on the current 40-man roster gets a nickname, except weirdos like Oliver Drake, because really?
Brass Town
April 10, 2015 14:30 - 31 minutesAlan files a remote report from the nether regions of North Carolina on the experience of missing out on all the #OpeningWeek #Excitement.
Batty Mackstops
April 01, 2015 15:46 - 1 hourSam and Alan lament the murky future of Matt Wieters but celebrate the burgeoning expanding around concussions in the NFL. Chris Luther joins us to bravely attempt to make wrestling sound interesting. PLUS: Henry Urrutia gets sexy.
Dangerous Ideas (w/ Mina Kimes)
March 18, 2015 05:09 - 55 minutesThe ideas are even more dangerous than usual this week, as Mina Kimes (ESPN The Magazine) joins us to advocate for government regulation of the professional sports leagues, and explains why that will NOT end up turning them all into Time Warner Cable. Plus: the Larry Bigbie Franchise Report tries to figure out, among other things, whether or not this is finally the Year of Machado.
Two True Outcomes (w/ Mike Petriello)
February 25, 2015 16:14 - 57 minutesThe Nelson Cruz Franchise Report considers the legacies of Tom Brady and Craig Biggio, Mike Petriello (Fangraphs, Mike Sciosia's Tragic Illness) joins us to talk about the Orioles possibly-shrewd acquisition of Travis Snider, and Ben Masten casts Sam in the greatest role he's ever played: Alex Rodriguez's PR flunky Wheedly Smedlap.
Special Edition: Ben McDonald - The One That Got Away
January 30, 2015 16:06 - 10 minutesSam shares some fond memories of Ben McDonald in a special edition episode.
Happy Endings?
January 27, 2015 05:31 - 41 minutesAs the Dan Duquette Departure Drama fades (hopefully) into the rear-view mirror, Sam and Alan endeavor to pick up the pieces and look ahead with just two weeks left before pitchers and catchers report.
Dan Duquette Departure Drama
January 16, 2015 15:38 - 55 minutesWe consider our emotions, as well as those of Charlie Hoppes, late of the Orioles Spastics podcast. Plus: Dan sings!
Dandy
December 10, 2014 16:23 - 46 minutesA hearty salute to umpire Dale Scott, who recently declared himself "out at home." A requiem for Nick Markakis. Some undeserved bragging about our subtle understanding of the current Orioles roster, and a rare in-studio visit from Dan Duquette.
How To Fix Baseball
November 21, 2014 15:47 - 1 hourSam and Alan invite noted baseball expert Nick Markovich to Hootenanny Studios for a spirited discussion on the game's many imperfections.
Superior Rocketships
November 07, 2014 16:01 - 57 minutesSam and Alan debate the emotional highs and lows of the 2014 season, urge calm about the Chris Davis situation, and wonder why America is better at voting for MLB All-Stars than it is at electing congressional representatives and presidents.
2014 ALCS Game 3 Audio Liveblog
October 17, 2014 14:47 - 41 minutesOn our last audio liveblog, we chronicled the gradual unfolding of the single greatest moment at Oriole Park at Camden Yards in 17 years: the clinching of the AL East by the 2014 O's. Somewhere at the other end of the spectrum lies...whatever this is.
Creepy Baseball Vampires
October 05, 2014 15:23 - 51 minutesA pregame show of sorts for Game 3 of the 2014 ALDS. We discuss, among other things, the historical illusions of Delmon Young, the Ned Yost debate, and why baseball is somehow better than participatory democracy, despite being way less participatory.
Blind Squirrel Finds A Nut
September 26, 2014 14:48 - 48 minutesIn light of 2014's division triumph, we ponder the legacy of the last AL East champion Orioles, which leads to a fairly damning assessment of the 1997 editions of your humble hosts. PLUS: the odd phenomenon of being congratulated by friends and acquaintances for the Orioles' success, and the correct way to feel about Jetermania.
Clinchmas 2014 Audio Liveblog
September 18, 2014 15:19 - 51 minutesLet's be realistic - none of us was thinking about anything (baseball-related or otherwise) this week besides the O's clinching the AL East. For episode 107, we decided to liveblog our emotions as we watched the Birds pulverize the Jays to capture the 2014 division crown. This episode is messy, a little weird, and full of guest appearances that keep the train on the rails just when you think it's about to jump the tracks for good. You know, a lot like the 2014 Orioles.
A Bomber Nation
September 10, 2014 05:29 - 53 minutesBen Masten joins us to offer an actual Yankee fan's perspective on the Derek Jeter Farewell Roadshow, as well as the Bombers' potentially bleak outlook going forward. He also explains why he has not yet found a wife on MLB Singles Powered By Match Dot Com. The Andy Van Slyke Franchise Report talks JJ Hardy, WAR, and Ray Rice. PLUS: Alan receives a mysterious visit from an old friend.
A Shifted World
September 08, 2014 00:00 - 57 minutesRosters have expanded, which means it's time to update the official 2014 Oriole nickname list. Plus: the Jake Fox Franchise Report looks at Chris Davis's inability to beat the shift, Jonathan Schoop's opaque future, and Buck Showalter's lineup juggling.
Dodo
August 26, 2014 17:18 - 46 minutesAs in "Macha" and "Ubal." We talk about their respective extinctions, the role of luck in the O's success over the last 3 seasons, and check in with Andy Livingston (Impose Magazine) about the positively repulsive state of the sporting union.
Jaunt of Doom
July 29, 2014 13:37 - 49 minutesAs the trade deadline barrels towards us at top speed, we look at the Orioles options for improvement on an already very-good team, and also applaud Major League Baseball for its stance on net neutrality...which is a weird thing to find ourselves doing.
Moon Sundae
July 24, 2014 15:17 - 46 minutesGauging the bluster of the tradwinds, marveling at the idiocy of the Yankees' Chase Headley acquisition, lamenting Tony Dungy's remarks (and their subsequent distortion), and some Orioles-themed slam poetry.
String Theory
July 17, 2014 17:12 - 55 minutesSam and Alan enjoy some bourbon as they answer your questions on the Orioles midseason status, opportunities for the second half, and the team's connection to particle physics.
100 Reasons
July 11, 2014 14:53 - 51 minutesIn the 100th episode of Baltimorons, we celebrate the top 100 reasons to be an Orioles fan.
Blue Bayou
June 26, 2014 18:10 - 42 minutesIn which we prove that Travis Ishikawa is a warlock, check in on a live broadcast of the rubber match in a 3-game set between the Modesto Moon Pirates and the Afton Oracles, discuss Alan's Portugal-induced heartbreak, and oh yeah, some baseball stuff.
Submarines & Bamboo Shoots (w/ Ted Berg)
June 19, 2014 14:52 - 49 minutesTed Berg (USA Today) joins us to talk about tempering maturity expectations for the Manny Machados of the world, Alan recalls a famous tariff of yesteryear, and tears are shed for Matt Wieters. PLUS: the triumphant return of the Baltimorons Culture Corner.
Whirled Cups
June 10, 2014 17:09 - 17 minutesAlan is too busy being excited about soccer to allow for any baseball talk, but Sam manages to squeeze in an exciting announcement regarding our next live broadcast.
Wreck of the Old 97
June 06, 2014 14:46 - 42 minutesAlan celebrates the legacy of Woody Guthrie, guest writer Jen Adams makes a generous contribution to human punderstanding, and Dan Duquette stops by to share a review of "Bull Durham."
Atomic Autonomy
May 29, 2014 16:30 - 50 minutesAlan calls out the American moment with particular urgency, the Sendy Rleal Franchise Report looks at All-Star Game voting with a dubious eyebrow-raise, our geusts Paul and Jake from Ballometrics endeavor to bring the sabrmetric ruckus to the basketball court, and the harrowing future of advanced statistcal analysis rears its hideous head.
95 Teases
May 21, 2014 14:54 - 16 minutesThe Martin Luther Franchise Report has important information regarding your Friday night plans this week.
Drungo Hazewood (w/ Wendy Thurm)
May 15, 2014 16:24 - 58 minutesAlan ruminates on the connection between baseball and Hindu mythology, and our lawyer advises us of some new content guidelines in the wake of last week's podcast crackdown by A Certain Professional Sports Organization. We also chat with sportswriter and self-described "recovering lawyer" Wendy Thurm, who has some sharp insights on said crackdown (unlike our lawyer, who mostly communicates via text message). Plus: the shadowy origins of Dr. James Andrews medical practice.
Elite Commando Barbers (w/ Pat Jordan)
May 08, 2014 14:40 - 51 minutesLegendary sportswriter Pat Jordan joins us to talk about his recent Buck Showalter profile in Sports on Earth, Tim Nguyen talks about his bold quest to crowdsource the funds to purchase the Clippers from Donald Sterling, Alan reveals the strong influence of the occult in professional baseball, and a truly awful fish pun.
Sterling Silver (w/ Padraic Lillis)
May 01, 2014 15:14 - 51 minutesWe remember the glory days of Randy Milligan, try to convince Alan that he should care about the National League, viciously beat the corpse of the Donald Sterling horse (including commentary from an actual Clippers fan), and talk to Padraic Lillis, the artistic director of the Farm Theater (thefarmtheater.org).
Pride of St Louis
April 24, 2014 14:41 - 49 minutesThe Melvin Mora Franchise Report reminds us of its namesake's remarkable contributions during his 10-year tenure in Baltimore, and also covers the Orioles current third base woes, not to mention Cuba's role on the global stage. Sam and Alan also bid a fond farewell to one of the three Mets fans they know, and crack open the Hootenanny Studios Time Capsule for a Seventh Inning Sketch from a couple years ago that has proved remarkably not-prescient.
Children of the Corn
April 17, 2014 15:29 - 1 hourThe Morons celebrate the proud legacy of Buddy Groom, salute the welcome certainty of the 90 foot distance between the bases, help Ben Masten create an MLB Singles (powered by Match.com) profile, and announce our first-ever corporate sponsor.
Thunder Bucket
April 11, 2014 04:05 - 47 minutesSam and Alan attempt to process the various ups and downs of the first week of the 2014 season, and play a recording from Peter Angelos's secret audio diary.
2014 Orioles Nickname Audit (aka Inspector Soul Patch)
April 03, 2014 14:36 - 58 minutesOur annual tradition continues! The Morons bring you a complete list of convenient and hilarious nicknames for each player on the Orioles 25 man roster. The discussion is moderated by our friend Jen, whose loyalties, it turns out, are for sale. Plus, a special edition of the Seventh Inning Sketch from Old Time Family Baseball's Michael Clair.
Strawberry Leylands Forever
March 27, 2014 17:34 - 46 minutesSam and Alan explain baseball to a skeptical friend, review the latest literary works of particular relevance to All-Weather Fans, and marvel at the ongoing idiocy of Dan Snyder.
Spring Training Special: Floridian Fellowship
March 20, 2014 16:31 - 48 minutesThe Morons check in from a moving rental car in sunny Sarasota, sharing their observations about America's most pendulous state as well as the youngsters fighting for roster spots in Orioles camp.
Bizarro Belanger (w/ Mac Montandon)
March 13, 2014 15:27 - 50 minutesBaltimore native and jetpack expert Mac Montandon stops by Hootenanny Studios to talk about the fateful day he attened an open tryout for the Orioles. He now writes about jetpacks for a living, so you can perhaps guess how well that turned out. We also fondly recall the magic of Tito Landrum, and address the latest brushfires of news from spring training camp.