211: Making Mom Friends (Best of Fertile Imagination Book Launch Party)

Welcome to Episode  211. It's 2024. So now you've got to hit the ground running. You've got to go towards your ambitions and everything seems to be in sync. And I want you to feel energized. We all do. I am so on your side and I'm thrilled that you're here to celebrate 2024. So this conversation is with Meryl Cook and she is a creative person whom I admire. She's a writer, an author herself, and she does something called hooking. Now get your mind out of the gutter. It has to do with yarn and creating beautiful designs. What a wonderful woman and conversation that might be best enjoyed with a mom friend. That was a hint because we’ll get into some thoughts on making more mom friends and what to look for in them too. Ultimately, think about this episode as a helpful reminder for 2024. What if you had mom friends that were ahead of you? And what if you had a handful that also reminded you that you get to play too? That is what Meryl and I talked about in this conversation. This is the last chat in my series that involved my book launch of Fertile Imagination. It was maybe like one of my first IGTV lives with a mom who was ahead of me. Also an empty nester. And what I love about the conversation is that 2024, you may have not considered it, but what if it's the year that you make friends?

If you love parties then please do say hi on Instagram which was where this party took place: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

Shop/gift/review - Fertile Imagination: https://amzn.to/3F6AgMu

TRANSCRIPT

What if it's the year that you find a group of women who emboldened you and inspire you and give you the inspiration that you need to actually go after what is on your heart? On that note, I wanted to share a review from an empty nester who is also ahead of me in her motherhood journey. So Meryl Cook, as I mentioned before, is ahead of me in her motherhood journey.

All her quote-unquote kids are out of the house. And the same is true of this Amazon reviewer, Kathleen Ryan. So Kathleen Ryan is someone who worked at Ogilvy & Mather and has had an amazing career that I completely admire and Kathleen is a great-grandmother right now. This is what she says about fertile imagination, my debut book for moms who want to rediscover their imagination, especially this year in 2024.

This is your year, like legitimately if you choose it to be, she says, fertile imagination is a virtual powerhouse of real-life scenarios that will help any woman. Moms, especially navigate today's workplace. I wish I had been gifted this kind of access to smart women back in the seventies when I was raising my boys as a single mom.

I wanted to point that out because Kathy Ryan also shared with me the idea that now that we have access to technology, we can be always on 24/7. It's like an extra hurdle that working moms have to really overcome. How can you take back your time? How can you hold sacred time? And it's something that I hadn't thought about until Kathy Ryan actually told me over text.

And that's the value of having moms who are ahead of you. They have a really good appreciation for what they were able to accomplish, but they wish they had greater support. And I think it helps us in the modern time right now within any season of motherhood that you're in, to reconsider what's necessary and what's superfluous.

So I hope you enjoy the conversation with Meryl Cook. It had to do with the book launch for imagination and it's about celebrating, right? So January 2, if you got through the holidays unscathed, if you got through. Everything that needed to happen, like, why don't you celebrate? Why don't you do a spa day?

Why don't you throw yourself a dance party? Right. And that's what Meryl Cook and I talk about this idea that oftentimes as moms, we don't celebrate. So again, there are benefits to having moms that are ahead of you in your season of motherhood and 2024 might be the year of friends. It might be the year of friends.

It might be the year of Mom friends who are ahead of you. So I appreciate you both Kathleen Ryan for leaving your Amazon review and also Meryl Cook for reminding me that it is important to celebrate. And I suggest that you do the same too. Okay. Enjoy the conversation. Thank you. So how's your day been going? 

Ah, it's been going. I feel like I have, it's overwhelming with the support that I've gotten from people. And it's interesting because maybe for other people also like taking compliments feels weird and different. So when people tell me that they're proud of me for having this book out in the world, I feel so, it's like unusual.

You know, yes. Good for you. I really think it's just soak it up and enjoy it. It's, it's a fabulous way that you've launched and I'm so pleased that, that you called on so many different people to help you. And, and I mean, that's what being a mom is about, right? Is, it calling on your tribe and saying, can you help me?

I need to do this. Yeah. Yeah, it's wonderful, wonderful. And so one of the questions I wanted to ask you, Melissa, because I've just started my new podcast called Renegade Conversations, and I started out with a really great cast of people, but now I'm searching around for other people, and I wonder,  how did you get so many really really top-notch people on your podcast.

What, what was your, what was your magic that you did? Do you know what my magic is? It's it's being very authentic and sincere. You can actually, you will be surprised. Like for example, now, as you go on your own sort of audio journey or visual journey, cause I've seen some Instagram too, you will be surprised that.

Individuals whom you might feel are hard to reach are not as difficult to reach if you approach them from a place of sincerity. So if you want to have a deep conversation on your channel and you want to talk about something that is truthfully, On your heart, like it really matters to you. Then someone like Suzy Batiz, who was a founder of Poo~pourri, or David Meltzer an entrepreneur, and philanthropist.

Like they're willing to have a conversation with you. And I think it's for a couple of reasons. Like, I honestly think, first of all, they must think to themselves, well, if this person has the guts to ask, there's gotta be something about her, that's a little different. And then the second side of it is.

These individuals are approached so often with people who have agendas. So you are refreshing if you truthfully want to have a deep conversation, but you're very refreshing. When I interviewed Susie Batiste, for example, Who's in my book, fertile imagination. I approached her from the position where I knew her background.

Like I knew that she had family members who had mental illnesses. And then my mom has a mental illness. And I also saw that she really cared about spirituality and the universe and all of that. And for me, it wasn't a leap really to approach her and say, Hey, I've been looking at you on this channel and that channel.

And I feel like we're vibing similarly. May I approach you? Yeah. No. So. That's the key. Sincerity. Cool. I've been doing that and that's been working for me so far. A few people are a bit hard to reach and hard to get past, their managers, for example, or, their media people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the funny thing.

That's the funny thing, Meryl. I actually don't ever approach, the managers or PR people. Like, that's a nice, that's a nice consideration and I'll respect it if it's a requirement, but I talk to them actually like individually.  And so I think that makes the difference because when I was putting together the book, there were so many approvals that I had to get.

And ultimately, some of the individuals that are in the book, you can literally reach out to them one on one and they'll get your approval or whatever. But for other individuals, you have to be more strategic. It's like who was the audio guy behind this person who I physically saw at the comedy club?

Like that's how I got James Altucher's approval. Like I had to really be like sleuth work, you know? And so you got somebody to give you an introduction then basically is how you did that.  No, I showed up to his comedy club is how I did that. Awesome. Good.  I've been doing some similar things.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's a lot of fun. Actually, I really enjoy it. So I was so excited to see you putting your opening your book video and all those kinds of things because I think that's I think that As women, as mothers, especially, we need to celebrate these, these milestones, right? We need to because they are a big deal.

And, I think often, what we do is rush from one hurdle to the next hurdle to the next hurdle. So we accomplish something and we don't take time to really have fun. And so today you're, you're doing your big launch and I hope tomorrow you're just going to celebrate and say, hey, what did I do?

And really, really take time to acknowledge the hard work that's gone into this launch. I mean, you've, you've been on this for months now, right? Even before, as the book was going to the printer, you were already planning your launch. So that, that's really. Really impressive. Thank you. I, it's funny because I, I was thinking about how a lot of typical book launches, like you go to a bookshop and you're signing stuff, selling the books.

And I thought to myself, I was like, honestly, for me as a mom, a slumber party where no one's invited, would be the best book launch party for me. It's like, can I just like sleep? Like, is that like on the table? And, and it's like, like, I get it. Like I get wanting to like to spend time with other people and make it a big party and celebration.

But I also get to be able to use my fertile imagination and think about how I want to truly celebrate. Like I want to celebrate online with women from around the world who have different viewpoints and I want to do it and I want to be home to then take my three little boys trick or treating.

Wondering about that because yes, you do have to go trick or treating tonight, and uh, but you're on the West Coast, right? So you have a bit of time Austin, okay the middle of the U.S. Yeah. Okay. Wonderful. That's great. And so what's been your biggest surprise about today?  well  For me, I guess it's like, I thought, I thought that things would be a little bit more like real-time from a technology perspective, but apparently they're not, there's like a lot of lag in terms of the world of Amazon.

So that's more like, but it's, what do you call it? a rookie kind of thing. Right. I just bought one thing and I got another in terms. You know what it is too, in terms of seeing people reshare the stories that I put out there and like share with their community about me and the book, and then also like the reviews.

So honestly, for me, it's like the reaction of everybody. And, and I see it so visually, visually for me, it feels like people are like, like hugging me like, like virtually we are. That's so cool. Wonderful. Oh, wonderful. Do you have any new, stats yet? Or is Amazon still calculating everything that's where we get tricky.

That's right. Could you believe it? Like static, static. So how it's like as someone, like when you're in the thick of it and you're like in a launch or whatever, you always have obviously like two paths, either be like what deflated or forget it, but, but, but, and for me, I'm just like, I don't know what's happening on the logistics end and all of that, but I'm going to keep going.

When I was giving birth and I gave birth to the identical twins, like there was all this, like a SWAT team in the room looking at me, right? Like a miracle or something. And, and I'm giving birth and I'm like, ultimately everybody was telling me, Oh, push all this or that. And like, who was in charge? Me, it was just me.

And so it's like, okay, the same thing with a book. It's like, I have to keep up my energy. I have to keep up the faith. I have to keep this up because ultimately here's what I know for sure. Like you, you have a book, you have books, plural, like. You had them inside of you. You had books inside of you. And do you know how many people say that and don't do it?

So for me, like that in and of itself, it's an accomplishment. It's a huge accomplishment. It's really huge. And what will be really nice is five years from now when you find your book is still selling. People are still benefiting from it. That's a really big deal. And your book is the type of book that will be evergreen.

It's not something that's going to go out of style. It's the kind of advice that all mums need. Yeah, I think, I think you're going to be five years from now, we're going to be having this conversation saying,  Oh, I'm still selling on Amazon. And here's where I sell most of my books and it'll be awesome.

So my son was just on Keegan is one of my boys. He said, Hi Mom. I'm just about to leave for work.  How cute. He lives in Vancouver. He's a tattoo artist. So.  How cool is that?  That's what I love, Meryl. I love, I love being around moms who are at different stages of motherhood. I think it's so important.

Yeah. It's important to have intergenerational friends, especially among mothers. When I first moved to the Northwest Territories, my son was just on Keegan was three weeks old and the nurse at the nursing station said, the best thing you can do is to make fun. Make friends with a woman who has kids in school who has sort of been through the early kids stage and has some advice to give you and it was really good advice.

Yeah, I think it's important for sure, for sure. Yeah, nice, nice. So, is there anything else you'd like me to ask you? Is there anything else? I don't know how our times are, we have about four minutes left. No, I think right now, It's funny because you and I were talking about the title of the book. Yeah. I think you did a great job.

Thank you. I remember. So that's something that's kind of like the backstory, right? The amount of pressure that I felt to come up with like the world's best title was something that I couldn't even like. Put my finger on it like it's that it's like that last thing that matters the most and it's like, oh great but yeah, I remember when you and I were brainstorming and you were sharing your opinion and you like the fact that it had something about playful and it was like play playback no playbook and playful Yeah, right Yes.

Do you think that more than one meaning to and yeah, and that it's um,  yeah. And so that idea of playfulness, I'm just curious about your stage of motherhood. However, you define that for yourself. How have you remained?  I think I have not only remained playful, I've become more playful. My kids are all launched.

The youngest is 30 now and mostly doesn't live in our house. The occasional weekend he lives with us still. I would say that I take more time to be playful and to make sure, for example, that I work on my art every day, no matter what else I'm doing, I'm crazy, crazy busy. If I don't take time for my art or I don't take time to play.

I noticed that I started to make mistakes. I start to kind of fall apart. And when I make time for play, it regenerates me and gives me the enthusiasm and the energy to keep going forward. So. Yeah, so I'm more playful,  see, and that's something that I think as, as a mom who has three little boys who are nine, nine, and 12, it's like, I see them play and in the book, I even talk about how, like, my husband is like, he'll go straight for like the chess set.

Meanwhile, for me, if I see the chess set, I will pick up everything from the floor on the way to the chess set, and then I'll forget that I intended to play. It's like adding a to-do, right, in your list? I was actually writing about that this morning. I just published a blog on creativity and midlife and beyond and, and, and I was exactly like that.

I would, I would always do all my chores before I would do my creative process. What I discovered is, is that The chores are never done,  and they're never all done, so it was more important to really take the time to play and to do the creative process, and that would help me to get more done in the end, but I think as women, we're so conditioned to taking care of everything else and everyone else, and we think of our creative process as frivolous, or as something that's kind of stuff for the day.

A nice thing, but, but maybe we won't get to it. And, I think that for me, having had breast cancer, I realized that I really need to focus on myself. And, I think that young moms also need that, I wish that I hadn't waited until I had a big health scare to focus on myself and to make time to play because I think in general, I mean, my husband is, is a very.

He's a good father, he does a lot around the house, but he's, he doesn't, he doesn't think twice about lying back on the couch if he's tired. He'll get things done, but whereas I'm like 30 at night, then I'll sit down. And so I'm, I've really worked on that in the last eight years to, uh, to work on, okay, now's the time to do work, and now's the time to just let the dishes sit there or let, let something else sit there because it never will be done and, uh, yeah, we need to play as mothers.

Yeah.  No, I think so as well. And I think you reminded me. So one chapter in the book is exactly what you're saying. And it's basically this DJ  who is in her fifties DJ yo Mama Esther. And she had also felt like. She was focused on helping everyone be happy and she was losing sight of her own happiness.

And so she had her health scare and her daughter also had a health scare when she was a little girl, but ultimately like the message in the book, I have a chapter. Dedicated to this is that it's like your body doesn't know why you're neglecting it. Like neglect is neglect. And you've got to be really mindful as moms.

And I would say if there were a way to help us prioritize ourselves, I think, I think the art of playing might be the answer. Like our kids want to, they want to, I  mean, maybe not your son since they're adults, but Oh, I don't know. I think they still play. They have their hobbies, they have the things that they love to do and they prioritize them.

Some, someone is saying, uh, make time for what matters most. Your relationships, your tribe of people, that's the prize of life. Yeah. I think that that's true, but you have to include yourself in that tribe. So make time for what matters most, including me. Right? Mm-Hmm. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Cool. Thank you so much.

I wanted to tell people that the book is available today. The link in my bio, and I would be honored if anyone in your community, Meryl actually got the book and got enjoyment out of it and felt that sense of play. Excellent. Well, I'm, I'm sure that people will take a good look at it and I would highly recommend it.

So. Thank you so much. Have an awesome one. I appreciate you. Let us know, let us know how the stats go when they finally tell you what they are.  Thank you. Thank you again. Thank you, Melissa. Bye. Merrill is so amazing and a big shout out to my Canadians, honestly. The book is available to you as well. You could absolutely get it in Kindle format and you could go on Amazon. And purchase the book as well. If you have already purchased Fertile Imagination, I would invite you to write a two to three-sentence Amazon review today. Here's why there are about 3 million moms who are logging into Amazon every single day around the world. I surmise, that they are shopping. And right now they're getting recommendations in their shopping cart.

That could be things like lipsticks, or it could be things like sneakers, or it could be things like. Tie detergent. What if instead, Amazon noticed that Fertile Imagination was getting all these reviews and put it as a recommended product for them to imagine being recommended, being recommended that you go after your dreams?

Imagine if someone told you, you know what, there's this book out there for imagination that I think you will like to, that can actually take what's in your heart and bring it out live. To whatever market you so desire. That's what we want more of. Like, I would love to see shopping carts filled with a fertile imagination and then filled with whatever tools are necessary to execute whatever dream you have in your heart.

That's what I want to see more of in 2024. And I need your help in order to do that. The more reviews we get on Amazon.com, the more likely 3 million moms every single day will see Fertile Imagination, my debut book. Online is available to them and for them and that is so important every single day. That's 3 million missed opportunities. It is not yet really buzzing with Amazon reviews.

Thank you so much for choosing unimaginable wellness, and this is going to be the year of friends, the year of seeking friends who support you so that you don't feel lonely so that you don't feel overwhelmed and unable to ask for help. I want all of that for you for 2024.

Happy New Year. Thank you so much again for all of your support for shopping, and fertile imagination for activating the ideas for making sure that you're reawakening. Reawakening, playing with, and stretching your imagination for maximum impact. Thank you so much. 

​