All Sequels Go To Heaven
156 episodes - English - Latest episode: almost 2 years ago - ★★★★★ - 12 ratingsRoman Milan, Spencer Wood, and Griffin Milan watch the questionable movies that always seem to come at the ends of beloved franchises, and then they usher those brave, lonely films off to their eternal reward.
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Episodes
Ep. 55 - Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb
May 27, 2020 18:49 - 1 hour - 70.4 MBThis week we watched the end of the majestic, iconic Night at the Museum franchise. We bid it a tearful goodbye as we talked a lot about birds and Harry Potter.
Ep. 54 - Trolls World Tour
May 20, 2020 17:51 - 1 hour - 66.9 MBThe Milan Brothers (and Spencer) will review Trolls 2. And we did! It's a wild time filled with some great music, including the pinnacle of all songs, Gangnam Style. But also it's a movie about privilege, and how scrapbooks are cut out, glued, and glittered by the winners. Take a listen you guys, it's an absolute trip.
Ep. 53 - Men In Black: International
May 13, 2020 17:56 - 1 hour - 83.2 MBWe're going back to where it all started, with a middling Men In Black movie. This week we watched Men In Black: International, which is a movie where they go to like 4 different countries and none of it is as interesting as the story of the political maneuvering that kept the University of Oklahoma from having a lazy river.
Ep. 52 - Smokey and the Bandit Pt. 3
May 06, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 81.7 MBHappy one year anniversary to us! And we celebrated by doing our MOST REQUESTED movie of all time, Smokey and the Bandit Pt. 3! Of course everybody has seen the classic Burt Reynolds and Sally Field picture where the villain gets in the title of the film rather than the guy who does all the dang work. Well we're back, with Buford T. Justice and the faithful Snowman racing from Miami to Austin. Yeah, no, it's as wild as the names make it sound. Join us, won't you?
Ep. 51 - The Two Jakes (Chinatown 2)
April 29, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 77.3 MBWhat's that? A sequel to an Oscar winning movie, but this one is directed by its star? And that star is Jack Nicholson? And it was nationally disgraced when a movie theater ran its reels in the wrong order for 3 weeks without anybody noticing? Sign. Us. Up.
Ep. 50 - Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves
April 22, 2020 12:47 - 1 hour - 76.8 MBThis week we watched Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves. This movie featured extreme marital trouble, some horrifying CGI bugs, and a young Mila Kunis. Not that we discussed any of that, but that's what was in the movie.
Ep. 49 - Johnny English Strikes Again
April 15, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 76.1 MBHang out with us for a while while we discuss this (checks notes) third. Wait, I'm sorry, THIRD?? Yeah, no, THIRD Johnny English movie. And as with the first (and we're assuming probably the second) it's a wonderful time full of hijinks, goofemups, and Prime Minister (checks notes) Emma Thompson. WAIT, I'M SORRY, THE ABSOLUTE QUEEN EMMA THOMPSON IS IN THIS? Ok. Wow. Just get in here and try to sort this out with us.
Ep. 48 - Shrek Forever After
April 08, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 70.4 MBOur ruse now tossed aside, please come with us to mourn the actual death of the Shrek franchise, Shrek Forever After, as it goes to join the Black Parade. Oh, also, get ready for the upcoming Hot Topic IPO with us. And take a look at Jon Hamm, the hot ogre. Yeah, no, just listen. It'll make more sense when you do.
Ep. 47 - Shrek 5
April 01, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 80.8 MBSorry, we had a little bit of a technical issue for this one with Griffin's sound, but don't get it twisted, we did the Big Boy in this one. That's right, Shrek 5. The most recent (final?) Shrek movie. Does Shrek get shot? Yes. Does Donkey fall in love with a sexy(ish) robot? Yes. Did we have an excellent time with this one? I think you know the answer.
Ep. 46 - Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted
March 25, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 76.5 MBThe most controversial possible sequel to Inception ever to be made. That's right, it's Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted. We're introduced to one of the most iconic, unstoppable villains of all time, as well as the world's most Italian sea lion. Check it out.
Ep. 45 - High School Musical 3: Senior Year
March 18, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 93.4 MBWe're all in this together, and by that I don't just mean this quarantine, I mean the angst-ridden experience of high school where you're constantly asked to choose whether to be an incredibly talented basketball player or an incredibly talented singer. This is High School Musical 3, a wrap up to a beloved franchise that asks... nothing. Basically nothing at all. Why couldn't they have just gone with the Halloween theme?
Ep. 44 - The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
March 11, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 73.1 MBThe Princess Diaries Franchise, like King Rupert, may it rest in peace. This week we watched The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, featuring the cinematic debut of Chris Pine, two Oscar winners, the worst CGI you've ever seen, and the strangest mishmash of European cultures this side of Epcot's World Pavilion. May we have this dance (to Raven Symone's duet with Julie Andrews)?
Ep. 43 - Kronk's New Groove
March 04, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 80 MBIt's a Wonderful Life 2: Kronk's New Groove. Mic balls, disapproving looks, sensual breadmaking, and the best Evita joke of all time. Get with it.
Ep. 42 - Kick Ass 2
February 26, 2020 08:22 - 1 hour - 76.7 MBGet on in and join us as we invent new folk heroes while exploring Texas' backroad attractions. That's just what happens when we discuss Kick Ass 2! No, seriously, just get in. We'll explain on the way
Ep 41 - xXx: Return of Xander Cage
February 19, 2020 07:21 - 1 hour - 75.6 MBGrab your motorcycles and use them to somehow surf over water, because it's time to talk about xXx: The Return of Xander Cage. This is a movie where motorcycles surf, skis work on flat un-snowy ground, and satellites are being used as ballistic missiles against Samuel L. Jackson and Neymar. Please join us on this, the wildest of rides.
Ep. 40 - 50 Shades Freed
February 12, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 74.8 MBAs a special treat for Valentine's Day, get ready for our steamiest episode yet (I know. Possibly even more than Magic Mike XXL). This week we watched the ending of the 50 Shades saga 50 Shades Freed. It's a movie that's partially about bondage, but mostly about a horrible relationship and a strange plot to kidnap/murder a girl who's just trynna marry a rich guy who will tie her up and whatnot (and isn't that all any of us could ask for?). Anyways, enjoy Smart House 2... uhhh... we mean 50 Sh...
Ep. 39 - The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 (Feat. Addie Gia)
February 05, 2020 09:57 - 1 hour - 92.2 MBIt's almost valentine's day, and we're turning up the love by reviewing the greatest love story ever told: Twilight. We watched Breaking Dawn Pt. 2, and brought along our good friend Addie Gia! Take a listen as we learn about what in the living hell is going on with this franchise. And also why there's so much head ripping, baby tossing, and hot, wild vampire sex.
Ep. 38 - Rush Hour 3
January 29, 2020 15:19 - 1 hour - 77.4 MBThis week we dive, flag first into the Rush Hour franchise's final installment. Visiting, as we do, Jackie Chan's kinks, Chris Tucker's challenging brilliance, and the reboot of Flatliners. Remember? The one with Ellen Page? Oh. You don't remember that one? Oh. You don't remember the first one either. You've never even heard of either version? ................Enjoy The Episode!!!
Ep. 37 - Teen Wolf Too
January 22, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 75.6 MBI know what you're thinking "Ugh, another movie where a werewolf, played by Jason Bateman, is beloved by his whole college and also becomes a state champion boxer?" Yeah, we know. We know. But this one also features basically a complete music video in the middle of it. So it's still worth checking out.
Ep. 36 - Robocop 3
January 15, 2020 10:01 - 1 hour - 79 MBYour move, creep. As long as that move is to listen to us discuss Robocop 3. It's an excellent movie full of jackbooted thugs, samurai robocops, questionable hacking methods, and so much more. We loved it. Please enjoy along with us.
Ep. 35 - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
January 08, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 79.1 MBHappy 2020 everybody! We started this year off with a visit to everyone's favorite adventurous archaeologist, Indiana Jones! What's that? This time he gets nuked in a fridge, chased by giant ants, and then in the end it turns out to be aliens the whole time? Huh. Ok, I guess. Here's Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Ep. 34.5 - 2019 Recap Dungeons & Dragons Extravaganza Part 2!
January 04, 2020 11:04 - 1 hour - 80.5 MBJoin us for the exciting part 2 to our Dungeons and Dragons adventure. What waits at the journey's end? A satisfying conclusion? Maaaaaybe? Regardless, check it out!
Ep. 34 - 2019 Recap Dungeons & Dragons Extravaganza
January 01, 2020 08:23 - 1 hour - 63.5 MBRoll for initiative! Jump into the new year with us as we first look back to the past. Our 2019 recap extravaganza sees us experiment with recorded Dungeons & Dragons for the first time as we adventure through our last year's journey through film sequels. Will our heroes make it to find the mask of power and save the world at the behest of Mayor Jim Meadows?? Find out in this (and the next) episode!!
Ep. 33 - A Christmas Story 2
December 25, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 75.2 MBMerry Christmas (or, if you prefer, happy fourth night of Hannukah)! We're here to celebrate this jolliest of days with a holiday classic...'s thirty years later sequel. It's A Christmas Story 2, featuring Enemy of Christmas Daniel Stern, a lot of either very pro-Capitalist or anti-Capitalist messaging, and so, so much Yu Gi Oh talk. Enjoy!
Ep. 32 - Home Alone 5: The Holiday Heist
December 18, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 72.8 MBJust one week 'til Christmas! But before we get there, we're going to have to fight off three art thieves and maybe one ghost. That's right, this week we watched Home Alone 5: The Holiday Heist. Well, except for Griff, who watched An American Werewolf in London 5: Holiday Heist. So join us for some holiday cheer, a lot of melodica, and some excellent jokes about famed ragtime composer Scott Chopin.
Ep. 31 - The Santa Clause 3
December 11, 2019 16:40 - 1 hour - 74.6 MBDust off your old Contract Law textbooks because this week we do a deep dive into The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause. That's right Rim Allen is back with more tepid goofs than ever. We discuss the egregious use of lazy Canadian stereotypes, what is and isn't ravioli, and of course, it wouldn't be an ASG2H episode if we didn't discuss (say it with me now) VIDEO! GAMES! THAT! HAVE! NOTHING! TO! DO! WITH! THE! MOVIE!
Ep. 30 - National Treasure: Book of Secrets
December 04, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 76.7 MBThis week we watched National Treasure: Book of Secrets. This romp through American history is accompanied by several Academy Award Winners and Nominees, and all of them just seem to continually dunk on Riley. Also, who else's dick pics do you think are in the Book of Secrets? Leave a comment somewhere and we'll consider it.
Ep. 29 - The Next Karate Kid (1994)
November 27, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 78.4 MBWhether you're a dancing monk in a monastery, a hawk inexplicably in a cage on top of a high school, or a jackbooted thug about to bungee jump from the rafters of his high school gymnasium, gather around to hear the tale of 1994's The Next Karate Kid starring Hilary Swank as the new karate kid and Pat Morita as her mom's dead husband's friend Mr. Miyagi. Seriously gang, this one was excellent as far as wild sequels go. Please listen, watch, and let us know what you think.
Ep. 28 - Son of the Mask
November 20, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 78.4 MBSon of a Son, Son of a Son, Son of a Son of a Loki. That's right, we watched Son of the Mask this week and boy is it... something else. Just... listen.
Ep. 27 - Evan Almighty
November 13, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 76.1 MBGather onto this big wooden boat that we, American congressmen, have built for you, our podcast constituents. Of course you've guessed by this point that we watched Evan Almighty this week. So hop on board and hold on tight, because this ride got a little bumpy.
Ep. 26 - Atlantis 2: Milo's Return
November 06, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 74.5 MBThis week we watched Atlantis 2: Milo's Return. It's actually the first three episodes of a failed tv series that takes place entirely away from Atlantis. But enough about that, we talk a lot about famous British poker player Dave "The Devilfish" Ulliott. Because of course everyone should be doing that.
Ep. 25 - Return to Halloweentown
October 30, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 75.8 MBBOO FOR A COMEDICALLY NECESSARY THIRD TIME! Welcome to the final episode of our 2019 Halloween Spooktacular! This episode we visited a classic Halloween franchise by watching Return to Halloweentown. It's a proper sequel with a new lead actor, different rules of the world, and of course, TIME TRAVEL!!! Highly recommended (this episode. Not the movie.)
Ep. 24 - Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation
October 23, 2019 03:15 - 1 hour - 77.9 MBBOO AGAIN! Week 2 of our Halloween Spooktacular is here, and with it comes Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation. It's a movie that refuses to write its own music, insisting instead that we all give another chance to a little ditty called The Macarena. It's... a trip.
Ep. 23 - The Rage: Carrie 2
October 16, 2019 10:00 - 1 hour - 81 MBBOO! It's the first episode of our 2019 Halloween Spooktacular, so we watched The Rage: Carrie 2. It's just like the first one, but with more competition-grade spear guns. Check it out.
Ep. 22 - The Sandlot 3: Heading Home
October 09, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 77.7 MBIn the back half of our Sandlot double header we watched The Sandlot: Heading Home. It's such a better movie featuring brain trauma-induced time travel and a house filled with baseball-themed traps. We seriously cannot recommend this movie or this episode enough. Please check them out.
Ep. 21 - The Sandlot 2
October 02, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 82.4 MBOctober is here! That means it's the most important time of the year for baseball, and thus, for men over 50. To celebrate, we watched The Sandlot 2 a movie which yearns so hard to be exactly like the first one but still falls so, so short.
Ep. 20 - Rocky Balboa
September 25, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 82.4 MBIf ya SMEEEEEELLLLLL what the ROCKY is COOKIN! That's right, this week we watched Rocky Balboa. It's the sixth Rocky movie, but it reminded us more of a fifth. Henry the Fifth. Once more unto the breach, dear friends.
Ep. 19 - Kung Fu Panda 3
September 18, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 85 MBThis week we watched Kung Fu Panda 3, and loved it, but still managed to talk about Yu Gi Oh and Beyblades for a full 6 minutes in the middle. It was a wonderful time all around.
Ep. 18 - Leroy & Stitch
September 11, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 82.4 MBBoy have we got an episode for you this week, and you are not going to want to Experiment 089 it. You're honestly 405 to have stumbled upon this and you are not going to want to 362 your device once you take the 082 into this ep. So make some 460 and say 195 as the crew takes a 183 to the wonderful world of Leroy & Stitch. @asg2h
Ep. 17 - Meatballs Part II
September 04, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 81.7 MBOk, in our defense, we spent way less time talking about ding dongs in this one than the movie did. Though really, it would be almost impossible not to. @ASG2H
Ep. 16 - Blues Brothers 2000
August 28, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 82 MBThis week we watched Blues Brothers 2000. It's a wild movie, but instead we chose to talk about Digimon and crossing over Backyard Baseball and The Fault In Our Stars. So yeah. Give it a listen.
Ep. 15 - Pitch Perfect 3
August 21, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 86.7 MBThis week we watched Pitch Perfect 3, a movie we feel could have learned a lesson or two from The Emperor's New Groove.
Ep. 14 - Transformers: The Last Knight
August 14, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 82.7 MBThis week we watched the fifth Transformers movie, Transformers: The Last Knight. And then something broke in Spencer and he watched the third and fourth back to back. Let's just say that he had some opinions on this one...
Ep. 13 - Mean Girls 2
August 07, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 81.5 MBThis week we watched Mean Girls 2, so of course a lot of our discussion revolved around competitive eating, competitive eater nicknames, and of course the peoples' champion/all around living legend Kobayashi. This one got a little wild.
Ep. 12 - Ice Age: Collision Course
July 31, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 84.1 MBThis week we watched the FIFTH movie in the Ice Age franchise, a franchise which seems to be gaining great voice talent at the same rate it gets wild, amazing ideas out of the Rusted Root sequence in the first movie. Check it out. #PutItInTheMaze #PutItInTheLabyrinth
Ep. 11 - Zoolander 2
July 24, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 82.5 MBTake your strongest crazy pills, it's time to discuss 2016's Zoolander 2! It's a movie that opens with an extended Justin Bieber cameo and somehow only goes downhill from there. Listen if you dare.
Ep. 10 - The Lion King 2
July 17, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 74.4 MBAhead of this week's remake, we watched the only true sequel to The Lion King, The Lion King 2! And then we discovered a lot of pictures of Matthew Broderick with sideburns. Both turned out to be very enriching experiences.
Ep. 9 - Magic Mike XXL
July 10, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 85.2 MBHop in the car with Mike and the boys as they drive away from the serious, dramatic plot of the first move and towards Stripping Regionals! It should go without saying, this one gets a little raunchy.
Ep. 8 - Grease 2
July 03, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 78.9 MBThis week we watched Grease 2, a movie directed by a choreographer, written by a songwriter and screenwriter who never met, and starring Shooter McGavin as a 1950s Greaser. It's an excellently terrible time.
Ep. 7 - The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
June 26, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 82.9 MBThis week we watched The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. But more than that, we discovered a Christian movie review website called Movieguide, which was way more worth exploring than this film.