47. Raising Boys to Be Good Men - How do we do that?

Aaron Gouveia is an author of a brand new book called “Raising Boys to Be Good Men: A Parent's Guide to Bringing Up Happy Sons in a World Filled with Toxic Masculinity”
His son Sam Gouveia was in the media for getting his nails painted by his grandmother who is a manicurist and got bullied. With this story taking hold in the media from the Today Show, Good Morning America, People.com, The Sun Chronicle, Mash Up and others, he was asked to write a book about raising boys and toxic masculinity. Jessica DuLong from CNN wrote a story about this book which is gaining exposure.
Aaron confesses that he grew up with stereotypes about being a guy and being gay, but having three boys has greatly changed his perspective on how boys should be raised.
He says that people need to think about why they object to gender specific behaviors that kids do such as painting nails or wearing pink socks that we are socialized to believe are catered to “girl behaviors”.
People all over the United States showed support for five year old Sam, including Rob Gronkowski, former New England Patriot who is now on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Aaron says people will risk their own lives and of others through this COVID-10 pandemic when men will not wear masks to preserve their masculinity.
What is a “good man”? Aaron argues that a good man is hard to define but is clearly a man who takes care of his family. He says he doesn’t know what is more manly than a father staying home with kids and making a societal shift is important in the future.
When discussing mental health, Aaron says that a strong man is knowing when to ask for help when you need it and making sure you’re around to take care of your family.
When parents are teaching their kids to address toxic masculinity, Aaron’s research shows that having conversations with kids is important and talking about consent, race and privilege is necessary ongoingly. Standing up for other people who are mistreated and bullying is also imperative to instill in raising our kids since there is strength in numbers. Being a bystander is complicit and makes you a part of the problem according to Aaron, and speaking up for what women have to do to stay safe and speaking on their behalf is an important value to emphasise as well.
We also discussed the manipulation and guilt men use in society to try to get girls or women to sleep with them. He says this realization came with being a father of boys and sitting with that uncomfortable feeling of contributing to the problem is how we will ignite this change. The social pressure needs to be eliminated so we can shift the view that boys have towards girls where they are objectified and sexualized.
As a former journalist, Aaron spent a lot of time research and citing credible sources for his information in this book.
We also discuss the controversy that was stirred up by Tom Brady and Bill Bollichuk kissing their kids on the lips and how kids and boys need to show affection.
Aaron thinks we shouldn’t have gender reveal parties because he doesn’t want people to show their disappointment.
To purchase his book:
Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, Google
https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Boys-Good-Men-Masculinity/dp/1510749411/
CNN article: https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/16/health/fathers-guide-raising-boys-wellness/index.html
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