Your Iconic Image : How to Get Past Gatekeepers

Steve Sims 

SteveDSims.com

Do you know anyone that’s worked with Sir Elton John or Elon Musk, sent people down to see the wreck of the Titanic on the sea bed or closed museums in Florence for a private dinner party and then had Andrea Bocelli serenade them while they eat their pasta – you do now

Quoted as “The Real Life Wizard of Oz" by Forbes and Entrepreneur Magazine, Steve Sims is a best selling Author with "BLUEFISHING - the art of making things happen”, sought-after coach and a speaker at a variety of networks, groups and associations as well as the Pentagon and Harvard – twice!

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I started off trying to find how rich people interacted…in the end I wound up being the doorman of a nightclub…it gave me a great viewpoint of people..and the psychology of a human being.

What it did teach me is that if I was slightly dubious about someone and I let them in the club, it was only a matter of time before I was kicking them out.  So I learned at a very, very early age  to protect the front door.  If you guard that with your life, you removed 99.9% of the problems.  

Now, if I’ve got clients coming to me…if they’re not the right fit, that’s your front door. It ain’t gonna get any better just cause they paid you.

It’s my gut.  I believe we become dumber by what we see.  It’s very easy for me to look professional…something like that would impress you…but I decided your gut is far more intelligent.  How many times have we had a conversation with someone…they’ve got an expensive watch, the story sounds good, but something’s just not right.  And then we go back to our eyesight and go ‘oh, but he’s got a nice watch…’ 

Stop believing what I see and trust my gut.  

We were incredibly smart when we were 3 years old….most of us became dumber because of peer pressure, schools, parents…you drop your kids off at school and you see someone sitting in the corner…of that’s Tommy…why don’t you go play with Tommy?  Tommy smells….Tommy pokes people.  I don’t like Tommy…we go ‘Don’t be like that.  You go play with Tommy.’ And we force them into a relationship they didn’t want to have.  It’s rude, it’s harsh, but the bottom like of it is, imagine if everyone was honest tomorrow….and went ‘Hey, this relationship with me and you, it ain’t working.  All the best.  Bye!’ …We would lose a lot of relationships but what would happen to the relationships we retain?

I remember years ago, and it was a big turning point for me, there was a guy that I really looked up to…we were in this networking event…and this guy was trying to get Tony’s attention…Tony took him over one side and said ‘Look, it doesn’t matter how long we take, me and you are never gonna get on.  It’s not good or bad, it’s just a fact.  You’re wasting all your time trying to generate a relationship with me and I’m letting you know now, it’s not gonna work…Out of respect for our time, I wish you al the best.’…The guy went off and the people were very receptive to him. He walked into the bouquet that worked for him.  He actually came over to Tony and said ‘Thank you so much for saving me the time.’…There was no hostility, no anger, but it was very clear it wasn’t gonna work.

We itemize through our eyeballs and we approve through our eyeballs where we should be focusing on what we learned as a kid.  Our gut.  If it smells off, move away from it.

Anyone that’s been appointed as as gatekeeper has to be 100% synchronized with the person who’s gate their keeping.  I have gatekeepers and I constantly tweak and refine because constantly things change in my life….You’re constantly tweaking with your gatekeepers how receptive you are to new contact and more contact. 

A gatekeeper should be nothing more, should! be nothing more  than a continuation of you.

We all know this…gatekeepers…get an ego….so you’ve got to get around that.

The beautiful thing about today…is that we can get in touch with anybody…The trick today is not being able to reach out to people…the talent is showing up with so much of a solution and an engagement that the person goes ‘Ah! This is someone I want to talk to.’

How have I leveraged my relationships? …I walk into a bar and you’re in that bar and you’re there with your mate.  I walk up to you and go ‘Hey! How are you doing?  My name’s Steve Sims.  I’ve worked with Elton John, Elon Musk and the Pope. I’m a big deal.’ and I go to shake your hand.  Move along.

Let’s change it.  I walk into a bar.  I don’t come over to you because I don’t know you and I walk to the end of the bar and order my old fashioned. And your best mate is next to you, elbows you in the ribs  and goes ‘See that guy over there? That’s Steve Sims.  He’s worked with Elon Musk, Sir Elton John and the Pope.  That guy’s a big deal.’ Now what are you thinking and what do you want to do?

It’s the source!  When I tell you, it’s promotion, it’s self marketing and it’s actually quite vile and disgusting.  But, if somebody else introduces you, you turn up with credibility.

Nobody has ever walked onto the roof.  You get there by a ladder.

Can you introduce me to…?  Now I’m coming in as a credible introduction.  

I leverage every relationship to see where the next one can go.  

I make a point, key thing here, never introducing myself.

If you’re at a party and someone comes up and says…’what do you do?’…If your mate is next to you, go ‘Mary, what would you say I did?’  Now this may sound silly and funny, but it will carry way more weight having someone else introduce you….because you can name drop, I don’t have to.

How do you turn up as a solution? …Google them, then go to images then go to their social feeds.  The images will show pictures of where they’ve been…read news reports of project they’re in…you can see what they’re supporting…you can find out a lot by cyber stalking people.  You can also find out the quirky stuff.  

I have never moved without purpose.  

When you’re at an event…all the celebrities…the powerful people are sitting closest to the stage.  Where is the best seat to have?…I can guarantee you’re going to make your way to the bar or the bathroom during this event…I buy a ticket…divided between the bar and the bathroom.

No one will talk more about themselves or stuff that they love.  So get them talking about it.

I attack the person with something he loves. 

Another way to get a person talking is about a problem they’ve got.  

The bottom line is, give them a solution.  Give them something that benefits them….try to find out what can you bring to the party that’s gonna help them.

The beautiful thing is, you’ve only gotta get it right once.  So, the amount of times I’ve gone up to a celebrity…rich and powerful person…the wrong gatekeeper…the wrong person to start a conversation, and they’ve gone ‘No, Mate.’…and then I go away, I sit down and go ‘How did I lose that?’…oh, I did that…so then I go and try it again…you learn along the way and then all of a sudden you wind up speaking with someone and they go ‘That’s fantastic! Let’s do that!’

Celebrities make up maybe less than 10% of my client bank, but I’ve got people that kind of own celebrities, own studios…

It’s been interesting to see, you’ve gotta focus on the solution and the conversation and the reasons…I feel that people are over-complicated 

People see wealthy, powerful people and they become intimidated.  

…why is that your price market?…what’s the difference between selling a $30M apartment and and a $2M…there’s no difference…she came down to ‘the client’…they’re more demanding.  Are they more demanding or are you scared?

When someone’s demanding, all they’re doing is searching for confidence that you’re the person that can.  When you’ve got confidence in you, when you’ve got experience, and you get experience by failing…when you’ve got experience you’ve got credibility and that breeds confidence because you’ve got proof.

Why are people scared?…People turn up to your checkbook.  They’re talking to you because you’re rich and that’s a one-sided conversation.  

But, if people turn up as a way of helping me…how do you help a billionaire?…The richer someone gets, the more impact they want to create.  If you can help them with that impact, you have their engagement.

You don’t become a millionaire, you actually develop your skills on being successful, creating impact, creating a solution, monetizing it.  Money is secondary.  It’s a reaction…

The difference between a rich person and a poor person is the bank account.  The difference between a non-successful person and a successful person is mindset.  And if you can get your mindset right, you end up becoming that rich person.

…Fail.  Fail a lot.  Keep failing.  Keep getting the experience that breeds the credibility that proves the confidence which people can smell.

If I don’t fail in the next week, I haven’t tried hard enough and I’m not willing to stay where I am.  I wanna keep on failing.

No is really no pretty much straight away.  If I ask you…and you say no, anything that I do afterwards is now trying to get you to change your position.  And no is very much a finite mood…no is one of those words where once we’ve said it, we’ve complete it.  That conversation’s over now.  Even if it was a bad decision…

If I got a ‘no’, I was asking the wrong person or the wrong question.

There are millions of ways into a house…there’s no point in going up to the valet boy at the Oscars and saying ‘can I get in?’  because he doesn’t have the power to say ‘yes’

I don’t want a no, I’ll always come up and give you an option.

I took over an entire museum…if I had contacted the museum and said ‘hey, I want you to shut your museum down from 3:00 in the afternoon til 2:00 in the morning, kick all the patrons out…would that be ok?’ What would they say?…first, I got a powerful person to make the introduction…before we do that, I heard that you’re having a gala at the end of this year.  What’s the purpose?…How would you like to go into your gala already have achieving a third of your goal?…Now let’s talk…

I get somebody else to introduce me then I turn up as a solution.

No one ever drown by falling in the water.  They drown by staying there. 

Keep failing.

An Old Fashioned and little expletive button

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