You Were Made for This

217: God Will Surprise Us

In the past dew episodes I’ve been talking about how I tracked down my birth father and met him for the first… and last time in my life. You’ll find links to those episodes at the bottom of the show notes. Today’s show concludes this painful chapter in my life by focusing on a larger relational and spiritual principle that applies to all of us. Namely, sometimes in our difficulties God will surprise us in unusual ways to remind us he is still working for our good and for his glory. But bef...

216: Our Past Helps Us Understand Our Present

Hello everyone. If you haven’t listened to episode 215, “Searching for my Birth Father,” I suggest listening to that episode before continuing with this one. Just go to johncertalic.com/215. Today’s episode, #216, continues with the theme of how understanding our past helps us understand our present when we see how God began shaping us early on to find joy in being the person he created us to be. Before we get into this I need to tell you that Carol, our announcer and executive director on...

215: Searching for My Birth Father

One of the more popular topics from past episodes has been the story of Gail Rohde who was adopted as an infant, and her search as an adult for her birth mother. Then several years after finding her, she searched for her birth father - and found him, too. I’ll have links to those episodes at the bottom of the show notes.  It can be a relational minefield in dealing with the dynamics of adoptees wanting to know where they’ve come from, especially when it’s been hidden from them. I have a ...

214: People Are Like Houses

A listener once suggested that for a podcast episode I should read from the book I wrote in 2016, THEM- The Richer Life Found in Caring for Others. It’s about relationships, which of course, is what this podcast is about. But I don’t know if reading from it would interest many of you. Maybe the first chapter might, I don’t know. It’s about how people are like houses when it comes to deepening our relationships with others. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is...

213: Five Things to Watch for in Your Next Conversation

One thing on my mind lately is a question about the meaningful conversations we sometimes have with friends, and what makes them different from other conversations. I started thinking about this while reading news articles about the Super Bowl played earlier this month. Meaningful conversations and the Super Bowl don’t quite seem to fit together, but they do in my mind.  Keep listening and I’ll explain the connection in today’s episode, number 213. Welcome to today’s episode Maybe th...

212: Little Things We Do Matter the Most to People

The older I get the more I’ve come to appreciate how it’s the little things we do for people that matter most to them. Little things that come naturally for us because of how God uniquely made us, I’ve got a few stories for you today to illustrate this point. Stories that I hope will inspire you to bless others in ways that are easy and natural for you. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about.   Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself...

211: A Men’s Breakfast Like No Other

A men’s breakfast can be fun and still have a greater purpose than eating and conversation. When organized with a larger objective in mind it can be a great way to bless people and a means to live out the Gospel. Today’s episode is about my Men with Waffles breakfast and the impact it had on others not even in the room. Especially women. Breakfast with a friend  A few weeks ago my friend Randy was in town for the Christmas holiday. We used to go to the same church, but his job change m...

210: Word of the Year for 2024 - Curious

CURIOUS. It’s my pick for the 2024 Word of the Year. Curious. It’s an important relational skill we need to help us deepen our relationships with others.  Today’s episode is about what happens when we’re not curious about people, and what we can do about it to strengthen our relational curiosity muscles that will enrich our relationships. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about.   Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting mo...

209: The Christmas Story In 2023

When you get right down to it, the only thing that really matters in the Christmas story in 2023 is Jesus. No Santa, gifts, or Bing Crosby. Just Jesus. Here's the original story as recorded in Luke's Gospel, just as it happened. I am reading from The Message, by Eugene Peterson. Luke 2: 1-20 The Birth of Jesus  About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his...

208: Christmas - A Time to Reflect

There are many cultural dimensions to all that is Christmas. Pick your favorite. I have a few that I look forward to every year. But as I get older, I’m seeing Christmas more as a great time to reflect on my relationship with Jesus. In Luke’s gospel, for example, I’m especially drawn to the mother of Jesus, Mary, and how she reflects upon the birth of her son and all that it means to her, both in the present and the future. There are things we can learn from Mary as she takes time to refle...

207: How to Help the People We Love At Christmas

In the 1947 classic Christmas film It’s a Wonderful Life!, George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, goes through a tough time during Christmas in dealing with two serious financial problems caused by someone else. This most beloved and joyful man in all of Bedford Falls is overcome with depression, anger, hopelessness, and despair. In the midst of all this, George’s wife, Mary, steps in and shows us how to help the people we love when they are in a dark place, especially at Christmas  It’s wh...

206: Thankful for the Stories of Others

The Thanksgiving holiday will soon be upon us here in the US, so I’ve been reflecting on what I’m thankful for. And this year I’m thinking about things that goes beyond my family and good health. In considering this, I’ve come to realize that I’m especially thankful for the stories of others.  That’s because I’ve found that the stories of what other people have experienced often lift me out of myself. Listening to what others have been through, both good and bad, and how those experiences ...

205: How to Have a Meaningful Conversation

To deepen our current relationships, or to develop new ones, it’s helpful to ask ourselves an important question. Namely, “How do I have a meaningful conversation with someone?” Today’s episode will give you a few ideas to help you answer this question. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about.   Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll discover practica...

204: Deep Conversations

Do you ever long for a deep conversation with someone? Today’s episode is about a creative measure someone took to make that happen. It reveals what many of us long for, and how we can make the world a better place, one conversation at a time. As with every episode, our purpose in this podcast is to help you find more joy in the relationships God designed for you. The Next Door app I’ll start by telling you something interesting I found the other day on the social media app, “Next Door...

203: Three Reasons for Being Stingy in Sharing Your Story

There’s a school of thought out there that says to make friends it’s important to be vulnerable by sharing your story. Some call it “being authentic.” Yet it’s been my experience that sharing your story when someone is trying to share theirs may end up pushing people away. Some would call that being self-centered. Today’s episode, though, is about three reasons to be stingy in sharing your story. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about.   Welcome to ...

202: The Best Stories

Most of us like a good story. I have found that the best stories are those that draw us in with emotion. They’re usually about relationships and often contain a story within a story. I’ve got one of those for you today that I’m pretty sure you’re going to like.  Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll discover practical principles you can use to experience the life-giving relationships you w...

201: Three Relationship Tools to Remember in September

Hello everyone, I’m back!  To start season 8 of this podcast we’re going to talk about three relationship tools we can use to become better listeners this fall to deepen our relationships. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about.   Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll discover practical principles and relationship tools you can use to experience the ...

Relational Intelligence in the Age of the Artificial Kind

Good People Are Out There

I came across a great example of good people doing good things that I thought you would find encouraging. It illustrates well a passage found in the Bible, Titus 3:14: Our people must learn to do good by meeting the urgent needs of others, then they will not be unproductive.   Single Moms Saturday Carol Steward, executive producer of our You Were Made for This podcast is also the marketing director of a Christian radio station in northwest Wisconsin here in the US. Her husband Terry ...

An Unusual Way to Connect With God

Anniversary of the Most Life-Giving Conversation of My Life

It happens every year at this time. Yesterday, April 4th, was the anniversary of the most life-giving conversation of my life.  I can’t think of April 4th without thinking of Carol Steward and what she told me that day. Carol was my wife Janet’s roommate in college and maid of honor at our wedding.  We’ve been friends ever since. If you listen to our You Were Made for This Podcast, you’ll also know Carol as the one who introduces each episode. On April 4, 1968, Carol told me about Jesus ...

What Has Your Father Taught You By Example?

While I’m busy out in the shed re-tooling my You Were Made for This podcast for season 8, I haven’t forgotten you. As I come across ideas and resources about relationships I think you would find helpful, I will pass them on to you. For example, today I’m sharing from one of Susan Cain’s Kindred newsletters she sent earlier this year. I’ve mentioned her before, most recently in episode 196 of my podcast. She’s the author of Quiet - The Power of Introverts in A World That Can’t Stop Talking....

200: Give People the Gift of Hope

One relationship principle I’ve come to appreciate over time is the power of giving people the gift of hope when they have so little of it themselves. It’s when you burn brightly with hope for others when their own hope is but a dying ember. In several recent episodes, I shared a response from one of our listeners who wrote about feeling overwhelmed at how to develop relationships. She said she has no friends and is lonely. The hope she has for things ever getting any better is but a dim...

199: How to Help a Friend

Today’s episode is about how to help a friend using a model of deepening relationships I’ve talked about before. The ORA principle. You remember it, don’t you? O - Observe. R - Reflect. A -Act. ORA. I saw this model of relating on several different levels from the responses some of you, our listeners, sent in to help another listener. Someone I’m calling “Emily.” In episode 197, Emily wrote in, feeling overwhelmed at how to develop relationships. She said she has no friends and is lonely. ...

198: Read Your Way to Better Relationships in 2023

In episode 192 I explained my rationale for suggesting that our word of the year for this year should be READ. Go to johncertalic.com/192 If you missed it. Reading about relationships is a simple way to enjoy better relationships in 2023. For example, in today’s show, I share an article I read recently that I found quite freeing when it comes to dealing with a delicate relationship issue. It’s a relationship concept I read about that I’m sure you will find helpful, too. But before we get i...

197: We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know

I’ve said before in past episodes how much I value feedback from people like you. In today’s show, for example, I share a listener reaction to a show from awhile back. It illustrates the concept that when it comes to relationships, sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know. But before we get into the challenging comments from this listener, and how they could very well apply to your life, here’s what this podcast is all about. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanti...

196: How Will You Be Remembered?

I received a touching email the other day that got me thinking about how I want to be remembered when my time on earth comes to an end. The email is a brief and beautiful story from one of my favorite authors that I share in today’s show. My guess is that after you hear it, you will want to reflect on how you want to be remembered too. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from y...

195: Words Matter

In today’s program, I’m going to share three listener responses to recent episodes. I’m doing so because your words matter to me, and to our other listeners, as well. Keep listening, and you’ll pick up an idea or two to try with your relationships. Be sure to stick around to the end to hear a story of how a listener applied what she heard in one of our recent shows that made a difference in her life. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about. Welcom...

194: Martin Luther King - The Silence of Our Friends

Here in the US, the third Monday of January is a national holiday to honor Dr. Martin Luther King, jr., the civil rights leader. I recently came across one of his quotes where he said “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. ” I’ve seen the truth of his comment played out several times in my life. It's what I talk about in today’s episode because it speaks to a relational skill we would do well to master. But first, Welcome to You Were Ma...

193: The Underachievers Bible Reading Plan for 2023

Last week’s episode, number 192, was about my pick for word for the year: Read. If you’re not much of a reader and can only tackle one book this year, I suggest read the Bible. Some people follow a Bible Reading plan that gets them through the entire book in one year. But if you’re an underachiever like me, I’ve got a more manageable, guilt-free way to read the Bible. Keep listening to learn what it is and how it could work for you. But before we get into all this, here’s what this podcas...

192: Word of the Year for 2023: Read

I received an email recently from a fellow podcaster. He mentioned how he picks a word at the beginning of January to help him stay focused for the year. His 2022 word of the year was “celebrate.” For 2023 he chose “authentic.” Apparently lots of people are choosing a word of the year for themselves. I googled the phrase “Word of the Year for 2023” and found 1,060,000,000 entries. Keep listening to hear my pick for word of the year for 2023 and what it could mean for you. Welcome to You W...

191: Wanting the Joy of Christmas to Linger Awhile?

You’re out there, I know you are. I can see you. You’re not quite ready to say goodbye to Christmas this year. You want the joy of Christmas to linger just a little while longer. I get it. I’ve got your back in today’s show. Keep listening, this one’s for you. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll discover practical principles you can use to experience the life-giving relationships you were ...

190: The Christmas Story In 2022

The Christmas story in 2022, as with the first one centuries ago, is all about Jesus. Mary treasured all its many details, thought about them often, and pondered them in her heart. May we do the same. Here's the original Christmas story as recorded in Luke's Gospel, just as it happened. The Birth of Jesus At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. (This was the first census taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria.) Al...

189: O Holy Night - An Unusual History

My favorite church experience is singing “O Holy Night” at a Christmas Eve service. Many churches will turn off the lights and pass out candles that are lit as the song begins. It’s quite moving. Today’s episode is about the interesting and surprising history of “O Holy Night.” But first this: Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll discover practical principles you can use to experience th...

188: Joy to the World - The Unintended Christmas Carol

In episode 187 last week I talked about the back story behind “Angels We Have Heard on High.” Today I pull the curtain back to look at the history behind another well-known Christmas carol, this one going back to 1719. It never started out to be a song, but before we get into all this, here’s a word from another Christmas Carol, one of my favorites, my boss, Carol Steward. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the rig...

187: This Christmas Carol Invites You

It’s hard to go anywhere this time of the year without hearing Christmas music. They really help set the mood for the holidays, which I love. The melodies of many of the traditional Christmas carols are fixed in our minds because we’ve heard them for years and years. But often the words are not. Who can remember the 3rd verse of “Silent Night,” for example? The lyrics of the really good Christmas carols have a relationship component to them worth considering this time of year. I’m going to...

186: Thankful for Life After Death

My friend Larry Goring died 2 months ago after a nine-month battle with cancer. He was only 73, and I miss him greatly. Larry was one of the original board members of our missionary care ministry, Caring for Others, and was always a great encouragement to me. His wife Jill gave me permission to share some of the details following Larry’s death that I want to share with you. I’m doing so because here in November 2022, the month we celebrate Thanksgiving, Jill’s response shows us how we can be...

185: Thankful for Curious People

For the past two years, my grandson George has been a resident assistant in his college dorm. Before students check in at the start of the school year, each RA creates a bulletin board for their floor with here’s-who-I-am information about themself. It’s a way to start building a sense of community. I wish they would have had something like this when I was in college. The only thing posted in my day was the time and place of the next anti-war protest rally. Demonstrations about how the ...

184: Thankful for Parents Who Discipline Their Children

A family friend and listener to this podcast told me about an unpleasant experience she recently had at a big box retail store that got me thinking about climate change. Not the climate change we hear environmentalists and politicians talk about. I’m thinking about relational climate change. How the climate in a room changes when parents fail to discipline their children. And how it improves when they do. Continuing our “Thankful in November” series, today’s episode is about how we can be ...

183: Thankful for People Who Inspire Us

In last week’s episode, no. 182, we began our Thankful in November series by talking about being thankful for the last time we experienced something. Today we continue this series by considering the blessing of being thankful for the people who inspire us. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll discover practical principles you can use to experience the life-giving relationships you were mad...

182: Thankful for “The Last Time I Will Ever…”

It happened a few weeks ago, another one of those It was the last time I will ever … moments. It was the last time I experienced something so meaningful and enjoyable that it brought on a tinge of sadness knowing I will never experience it again. But based on several other last time I will ever … events in my life I know I can be thankful for what comes next. And so can you. It’s what I talk about in today’s episode, the first in my “Thankful in November” series starting today. But befor...

181: Tenderness Found in Two Unusual Places

A friend I hadn’t seen in a while asked me the other day what was going on in my life. “Lots of death,” I said, filling in my response with examples.. Another thing going on was a moment of tenderness I saw in a man consoling his wife in a restaurant. I’ve been thinking for days about the tenderness I saw in both the restaurant and the deaths I described. It’s what we’re looking at in today’s episode. Tenderness in relationships found in unusual places. But before we get into today’s episo...

180: An Unusual Place to Find Joy

You wouldn’t think you could find joy in the midst of difficult life events, but you can if you know how to look for it. Today’s episode is an interview with someone who did just that. Stuck in the world’s busiest airport after her flight was canceled, Our guest today, Jennifer Uren, shares what she did while waiting on standby for another flight, anxious to get to her destination for a speaking engagement the next day. Besides being one of the most interesting stories I’ve heard in a wh...

179: Listen to the Whispers

It seems to me that we are living in an increasingly noisy world. So many sounds, so many words, so many messages competing for our attention. I’m going to tell you a story today about how someone communicated with whispers that drowned out all the noise in the room. It’s a great relationship lesson about listening to the whispers. But before we get into today’s topic, here’s what this podcast is all about. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your ...

178: Good Relationships in Action

There are so many thoughts about relationships running around in my head lately that I’ve wanted to share with you. They’ve been like little kids scrambling for the candy thrown from 4th of July floats parading down the street. I’ll tell you about a few of them in today’s episode because they’re examples of good relationships I’ve seen in action that can inspire us to relate in similar ways with the people in our lives. But before we get into today's topic, here’s what this podcast is all ...

177: How to Relate With High-Maintenance People

I received a disturbing email from a missionary serving overseas the other day that mentioned a relationship challenge he and his wife were facing. It’s an issue most of us have had to handle at one time or another. Namely, how to relate with high-maintenance people. It’s the subject of today’s show, where you will hear a few ideas for how you can deal with this challenge. I also explain why I found this missionary's email troublesome. It’s not what you might think. Welcome to You Were Made...

176: The Joy of Relationships by Watching Others

In episode 166 a few months ago I shared stories about how we can experience the joy of relationships when people spread a little relational sunshine around. Today’s episode is another story that shows how it’s done. A story that will make you smile. One you can adapt to spark joy in your own relationships. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll discover practical principles you can use to ...

175: Reflecting On Stories From Our Past Can Grow Us

Relationship stories from our past have a way of shaping us years after they occurred. I have two of them that happened decades ago during this month of September. It wasn’t until many years had passed that I understood the impact these two events had on my life. It’s what I’m going to talk about in today’s episode because I bet you have stories like this, too. Welcome to You Were Made for This Welcome to You Were Made for This. If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships...

174: Labor Day - A Time to Reflect

Here in the United States where I live we just finished celebrating Labor Day two days ago. It comes around every year on the first Monday in September. For many of us, it’s the most melancholy of all our national holidays. Yet, Labor Day week is also a great time to reflect. Reflect upon what, you ask? Keep listening, for I answer this question in today’s show. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Her...

173: Celebrate National Relationship Transitions Day

As the summer winds down here on the last day of August, many of us are going through a relationship transition of one kind or another. Kids going off to school for the first time. Sons and daughters heading off to college. And those of us left behind to face an unfamiliar future where those we love are no longer around as they once were. Relationship transitions are unique opportunities to bring out the best in us. It’s what today’s episode is all about. Welcome to You Were Made for Thi...