9: Is it good for woman to be Independent?

TRANSCRIPT FOR EP9
Welcome to Woman Leadership show. I'm Janet and in this episode, I will be sharing with you if is good for woman to be independent. 

As I grew up without my parents at my side, I had to learn and observe how others expectations of me. Though I am the only child but I did not have the luxury or able to whine and be pampered during my childhood and growing up days. I was considered by others more mature of my peers and people who knew me for first time would think I have siblings and I would be the eldest in the family taking care of younger siblings. I grew up to be very independent woman as mother, wife and daughter. Let me share few examples. 

Without a role model, from observation through environment and people I knew and engaged with, I grown to be and to be independent woman and take charge of things naturally. Will not ask for help and will continue to do and try if there is a problem till it works. I have also became very resourceful to help me achieve what I wanted to though I do not have knowledge or experience with the situations.  

When I became a mother with my first son, we had no help from my late mum and my parents in law. What I did was to look for nanny around my neighbourhood and subsequently have him at infant care. There are days that my husband and I had to work late and so I paid my friend a small fee for fetching my son and have him at my nanny’s place till we end work and fetch him. 

After the birth of my second child, we were considering to hire a maid. Before we had a maid, I got a nanny who was my confinement’s nanny relative to take care of my daughter till my maid started work with us. Prior to the nanny’s help, we extended confinement nanny and fortunately she was available to help me till we had the nanny. 

When my mum’s Parkinson condition deteriorated, I don’t know what to do seeing her in pain and just relying on medicines. She would visit the hospitals every other week for few months towards 2018. I found a therapist through facebook and connected with her. She recommended me other therapist who can work with her on my mum and also introduced a friend who can advised me on my mum’s bedsore problem. 

Throughout my career progression, I do not have the experience of being a facilitator, manager and new projects but I will look for resources when there support from colleagues, managers , books and any history where I can use. I learnt through observing, reading and see how others do it for example conducting a training. I used to see how my ex manager conduct the sessions, I would write down notes during the session and start training immediately. There was one incident when I did not do well in the training, I will reflect where I could have done better. 

There will be times when I will think I do not have the available resources or support so I could not complete a task or a project. However, I realized that as I went to search for I, there were many resources and information that I can use. I stop giving excuses and start to look for them. I want to have changes whether is in my life or others people lives and want things to improve and be better. What motivates me to look for resources were because I wanted a change and improvement from my problems and situations that I encountered. 

There were many moments that I felt I was too tired to do everything by myself and the burden was just so heavy on my shoulders. There will be times I thought I would break down until I ask for help from my spouse, children , colleagues and friends. 

I think It is good to be independent so we learn to be proactive and look for solutions to resolve problems and overcome challenges along the way, able to manage change and flexible to adapt and understand what we can respond to influence others and situations within our control. 

While being independent is good but we can ask for help when needed such as mentors, coaches and spouses, family members and friends. There will be a closely support team whom you and I can go to when we need a shoulder to cry on, listening ear and provide ideas and encouragement. I used to think that I will be strong enough to do many things on my own as much as possible and so I went the long way to reach my goals and dreams. If I can turn back time, I would ask for support at earlier stage and so I can accelerate my goals and dreams earlier. I like the slogan from Soul Rich Woman , alone I am strong, together we are unstoppable. 

I hope that through my sharing, it draws inspiration and personal reflection for you. I believe every woman can be a leader in your own way. I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you tips and ways to realize your full potential as a leader on Woman Leadership.