Episode 238: Hasta La Vista Whiskey - Jiu Jitsu (2020)

I don’t know what to say, really. 102 minutes of the biggest battle of our podcast lives all comes down to today. Now either we heal as a podcast or we’re gonna crumble, inch by inch, play by play, 'til we’re finished.

We’re in hell right now, gentlemen, believe me. And, we can stay here -- get the shit kicked out of us -- or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell one inch at a time.

Now, I can’t do it for you. I’m too old. I look around. I see these young unknown action stars, and I think -- I mean -- I made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I, uh, I pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who’s ever loved me. And lately, I can’t even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know, when you get old in life things get taken from you. I mean that's...part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out life’s this game of inches. So is podcasting. Because in either game, life or podcasting, the margin for error is so small -- I mean one-half a step too late, or too early, and you don’t quite understand what the fuck Nic Cage is doing. One-half second too slow, too fast, you don’t understand why this movie was made.

The movies we need are everywhere around us.

They’re in every break of life, every minute, every second.

On this podcast, we fight for that inch. On this podcast, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch, because we know when we add up all those inches that’s gonna make the fuckin' difference between winning and losing! Between livin' and watching shitty Nic Cage movies!

I’ll tell you this: In any fight, it’s the guy who’s willing to die against an amorphous predator look-alike who’s gonna win that inch. And I know if I’m gonna have any life anymore, it’s because I’m still willin' to face CGI shuriken and die in a weird first person dutch angle shot. Because that’s what livin' is! The six inches in front of your face!! That's where there's a camera filming you as you react to nothingness!

Now I can’t make you do it. You got to look at the guy next to you. Look into his eyes! Now I think you’re gonna see a guy who will go that inch with you. You're gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this podcast because he knows, when it comes down to it, you’re gonna do the same for him!

That’s a podcast, gentleman!

And, either we heal, now, as a podcast, or we will die as individuals.

That’s action movie podcasts guys.

That's all it is.

Now, what are you gonna do?!