Whatever, Your Twin was Hotter
28 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 3 years ago -Ridiculously hot identical twins Brooke and Lindsay Rose are in the heat of the dating game and share their humorous takes on college life, dating, and modern day issues such as the curse of the college gym and their toxic relationship with Timotheé Chalamet. From the manic highs of their Civil War reenacting days to dating horror stories, the twins share experiences and offer advice from their unique and separate lives in a time that’s supposed to be enshrined as “the best years of your life”.
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Episodes
Scarily Embarrassing Stories to Tell in the Dark
October 28, 2020 04:00 - 30 minutes - 21.1 MBThis week the twins are bringing you a Halloween special like no other: they are personally topping some of their most embarrassing moments with a special round two of… more of their most embarrassing moments >>LIVE<< as the twins continue to do more obscure impersonations.
Being a Biracial Filipino
October 05, 2020 22:00 - 43 minutes - 30 MBBrooke and Lindsay unpack what it means to be biracial after finding out a bestselling author of Asian-American literature is actually a white woman who claims she is 1/8 Chinese. The twins discuss the journey and struggles they've encountered in understanding their Filipino identity in a country where cultural assimilation extinguishes appreciation for one's culture.
What's Scarier than 2020?
September 29, 2020 00:00 - 39 minutes - 27.1 MBAs fall finally kicks into season, the twins want to talk about some of this season's scariest things: Quirky indie/alt people with beanies, doc-martens, and Tame Impala shirts Mansplainers who don't want to talk politics Grotesque halloween decorations at the halloween store The patriarchy
Where We Stand on Porn
September 21, 2020 21:00 - 28 minutes - 19.7 MBYou thought we wouldn't post...and we almost got you didn't we. In the wake of Ruth Bader Ginsburg's passing, Brooke and Lindsay delve in deep about what it's like being a woman in today's society and finally hit the topic you sick perverts were all waiting for: Porn. The twins discuss how the porn industry has affected dating and existing around men, their own porn journey, and share other skin crawling tales of men being twisted yahoos. PORN TAGS: #exotic #asian #incest #twins #petite
The Hotter Twin Died
September 14, 2020 07:00 - 54 minutes - 37.4 MBHey, you. Yeah you! Are you listening to our podcast all by yourself? ...Are you even listening anymore after our absence? In the wake of the death of the podcast, Brooke and Lindsay have a candid talk about where they want to take the podcast as they grow more distanced from their sloppy, messy, and frankly grossly uninteresting selves when they first started the podcast. They also detail their most interesting canons and narratives from their childhood including an ableist nightmare of a p...
Being the Alpha Female in a World of Beta Males
July 13, 2020 18:00 - 58 minutes - 40.5 MBMansplain Monday has a whole new meaning in today's episode. Tune in to hear about the twins' experiences as alpha females in a male world and about a run-in with a former frat boy college has-been, who's fallen from the ranks of frat boy legend to assistant manager at the Santee location of Enterprise.
What it’s like Being the Single Twin
July 07, 2020 06:00 - 41 minutes - 28.3 MBWe ghosted you, but we're finally back on schedule. The day after Linz’s bf leaves town, Brooke recounts the inevitable breakdown you have if you are the single twin in the iconic duo. They also talk about their horrific double date experience, the straight-to-VHS, cash cow Disney Sequels they've been binging, what NOT to put in your bumble profile bio, and the pedophiles at their former high school.
Being an Activist in College
June 16, 2020 01:00 - 50 minutes - 34.7 MBThis week, Brooke and Lindsay catch up on the last two weeks and talk about some cop (pig) run-ins they've had during protests. This little piggy cried "bitch" all the way home (true story). Black lives matter--now and always--and the twins discuss on how to be anti-racist at college.
Ghosting Call Her Daddy
May 25, 2020 19:00 - 39 minutes - 27.2 MBThe twins are exposing themselves once again, this time as ~indie~ podcasters who can dream of running something as big as the Call Her Daddy brand. Brooke talks about yet another hate message she received from a scorned Bumble mans, and Lindsay details the horrifying hearse energy of her summer job two years ago that she may just have to go crawling back to if their podcast isn't picked up by a network, and soon (hint hint, Dave Portnoy).
We LOVE Dating Apps, Here's Why.
May 18, 2020 07:00 - 50 minutes - 34.9 MBSince their teen years, Brooke and Lindsay have been interacting with predators on popular dating apps--and loving every second. Dating apps may get a bad rap, but the twins have been "pro-tinder" since high school. Today, the twins talk about the intricacies that can increase YOUR tinder success, bumble horror stories, and dating app successes! Though dating apps have done them dirty, the twins will never forget the wounded, disgusting apps that have helped them navigate the lonely years of...
My Filthy Freshman Year Confession
May 12, 2020 05:00 - 43 minutes - 29.8 MBYou're 17, almost 18 and it's time to network and reinvent yourself among all the other hot singles at your knew college. WRONG. You are actually 27 year old Chad's prey. Today the twins go over the high highs and low lows of their freshmen year of college, and the "magic" of Fraternity Vegas trips which include a lot of substance abuse and a pair of tiny hands. As Charles Dickens once wrote, "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times"....
How to be "The One That Got Away"
May 04, 2020 07:00 - 43 minutes - 30.1 MBSo you want to be THAT bitch who got away, the BEST thing he'll ever have--but you secretly want his attention and your id is literally screaming at you to toss yourself into the loony bin and be the crazy, psycho ex to get a crumb, a mere morsel of his attention. Good news. There are only SIX rules you need to follow to live your best life without your toxic ex. From crazy ex stories to a one-way ticket over the cuckoo nest, tune in for a psychopathic Monday.
Look Ma, No Episode
April 26, 2020 07:00 - 50 minutes - 34.5 MBLast episode was a bit of a blunder... The twins forgot to edit out a piss break and even Travis Scott showed up in the form of Brooke's shitty audio quality. This week the twins are back and betta than eva. No more piss breaks (...unless, aha jk) and a full break down of how family affects you and your SOs in relationships. Look Ma! No editing errors!
You're a College Has-Been
April 13, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 41.8 MBYes, that's right, we're outing you. Today the twins lament the loss of their extremely narcissistic social lives where they basked in the glow of a societally fueled sense of self-worth. But here's why it's actually better to out yourself and cut your losses rather than be those "miss these slimes, throwback" bitches. They also talk about how their 21st might be in quarantine, while reminiscing on their high school years when they did not, in fact, get a life-sized teddy bear from their fri...
We Ran a Sex Toy Business
April 06, 2020 07:00 - 37 minutes - 26 MBIt's 2012 and for the twins this means three things: middle school, My Little Pony, and their flourishing sex toy business. Tune in to hear about how Brooke and Lindsay made a fortune with their childhood "get-rich-quick schemes" that eventually lead them into the perilous clutches of the... toy industry.
Quarantine is Exposing Toxic People
March 30, 2020 07:00 - 41 minutes - 28.6 MBAll the twins have been doing this week is watching anime, taking neighborhood walks, scrolling the hub and rollerblading. But you know what? Quarantine has its little victories too. Listen for more shitty impressions, bad Australian accents, our experiences with Van Life, and toxic ex stories!
So You're a Simp
March 23, 2020 07:00 - 49 minutes - 33.9 MBDay 8 under the dome. This week, Brooke and Lindsay bring you two more types of men: the M'lady and the Simp. In these trying times, the twins recall crucial details that will keep you from confusing one with the other in order to encourage you to love and appreciate the Simp, and fear his dark horse cousin, the M'lady.
Yes, We're in a Polyamorous Relationship
March 16, 2020 07:00 - 55 minutes - 38.2 MBBrooke and Lindsay are quarantined and need to get something off their chest: they've been in a polyamorous relationship: Brooke, Lindsay, and Lindsay's nose. This week, join the twins in their discussion on what it's like to date as a twin, if they've ever liked each other's boyfriends, or if they've ever taken anyone up on a threesome offer. Zip up your hazmat suit and get ready for the ride of your life!
So Here's the Thing About Greek Life...
March 09, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 47.2 MBToday the twins sit down for a more serious and woke chat about the very thing that dominated their lives for the last two years… GREEK LIFE. Like emerging from a toxic relationship, the post-breakup clarity after dropping their sorority has finally allowed Brooke and Lindsay to break the silence. Are you passive about your identity as a frat boy or srat girl? Are you on the wrong side of history? Tune in to find out.
Embarrassing Stories to Tell in the Dark
March 02, 2020 08:00 - 49 minutes - 33.7 MBYou’ve heard of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Get ready for its twisted, ugly cousin. Today, Brooke and Lindsay share their most embarrassing moments, the moments that literally keep them up at night and make them want to shrivel up in the hot sun when they're walking around on campus: it's a compilation of their top most embarrassing moments in their whole 20 years.
We're Tired of Housebreaking our Boyfriends
February 24, 2020 08:00 - 37 minutes - 25.5 MBWelcome to the puppy mill, or should we say... the dating game. Today the twins discuss the ins and outs of “housebreaking” their exes. From being their second mother to practically diaper changing, they have seen it all and they are TIRED of it. Why did the twins not have to be housebroken? Why are men typically the puppy in this scenario? Let’s fill out the adoption papers and find out.
Ben Franklin: The Original ~Quirky~ Boy
February 17, 2020 08:00 - 45 minutes - 31.3 MBIt's George Washington's birthday, and the twins are celebrating America's first slave-owning president by talking about ~quirky~ people. What makes a person quirky? Is it the beanie rolled above the ears? The chain necklace? The nose piercing? The turtle neck? Or is it unfounded obsession with Quentin Tarantino? Tune in to find out why Benjamin Franklin is the OG ~quirky~ boy, Brooke and Lindsay's types of men, and for extremely accurate imitations of Oliver and Elio from the quirkiest movi...
The Curse of the College Gym
February 10, 2020 08:00 - 49 minutes - 34 MBTwo years ago, the twins started their gym-rat journey to what they thought would be slimm-thicc haven. 20 pounds or pure muscle later, the twins could bench...And they looked like it too. With the physique of Michael Phelps and the hunger of a 500 pound man, the twins were no closer to their ideal bodies and insatiably hungry. In this episode, Brooke and Lindsay talk about the four characteristics to watch out for at YOUR college gym, and how to navigate the JUNGLE that is the college gym. ...
The Sweet Talker vs. The Slow Burn
February 03, 2020 08:00 - 48 minutes - 33.1 MBThere are four types of men: the Sweet Talker, the Slow Burn, the Panty Snatcher and the Joe Goldberg. This week, Brooke and Lindsay share stories on each of these kinds of men, their sexy little differences, which ones to avoid and which ones to go for. They also share some tips on how to get more poon....Apparently Sweet Talkers get laid the most. So, boys... are you a sweet talker? Do you want to be? Tune in for tips and tricks.
We were Civil War Re-enactors
January 27, 2020 08:00 - 57 minutes - 39.2 MBPicture this: two 16-year-old asian girls walk into a party. They're wearing historically accurate, hand-sewn, silk, Civil War ball gowns. Today, these semi-adjusted girls are here to tell you all about their Civil War re-enacting escapades: from the sexual high of civil war line dancing to the haunting tin-types that capture the grotesque sexual awakening of their teen years.
We were Civil War Re-enactors.
January 27, 2020 08:00 - 57 minutes - 39.2 MBPicture this: two 16-year-old asian girls walk into a party. They're wearing historically accurate, hand-sewn, silk, Civil War ball gowns. Today, these semi-adjusted girls are here to tell you all about their Civil War re-enacting escapades: from the sexual high of civil war line dancing to the haunting tin-types that capture the grotesque sexual awakening of their teen years.
Emotionally Sleeping with Someone
January 20, 2020 08:00 - 34 minutes - 23.5 MBEver felt emotionally exposed and connected with someone you're talking to even though you're only hooking up? Well today, the twins talk about stripping down and being naked with another person...'s soul... with a term they've coined as "emotionally sleeping" with someone. Get ready to get your mind naked and prepare yourself for a potential Jared Leto impression.
The Mid-College Slump
January 10, 2020 08:00 - 36 minutes - 24.9 MBWelcome twin-lovers (in a non fetish-way)! This week, Brooke and Lindsay go into which twin IS the hotter twin, and some scarring bumble dates that have caused them to question their college dating life. They also touch on a little something they like to call the mid-college slump (and how to get out of it)--hopefully.