Dr. James Kelley – The Crucible’s Gift

Dr. James Kelley, author of The Crucible’s Gift: 5 Lessons from Authentic Leaders Who Thrive in Adversity, brings a fresh perspective to leadership coaching and keynotes. His journey from a humble home in Portland, Oregon to earning his PhD and living near Dubai with his wife and four children is full of adversity.

James also has a keen interest in the adversity that shapes great leaders around the world.  Whether it’s on his podcast Executives Afer Hours or giving a keynote speech at a conference, James loves to dive deep and share stories of how and why leaders need crucible moments to be a better version of themselves.

James believes that his unique journey filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, and a driving curiosity, equips him to bring great value to the world of executive leadership.

Dr. James Kelley Vroom Veer Stories

The book idea was a combination of his life and his podcast interviews with about 140 executives
Grew up in South East Portland the youngest of 3.5 children in a 900 square foot home and six people
Didn't do many vacations; didn't do a lot; didn't have a lot
Grew up in an Irish Catholic household;  a touch of violence and not much Catholicism plus all the guilt--no weekly Mass
Mom was a martyr and great at guilting
As the youngest of 3 you learn by watching your older siblings get caught and punished; and learn ways not to get caught
His family was kinda dysfunctional (like most maybe?); he doesn't communicate with his siblings; he does talk with some of his half-brother's kids
He was the youngest by 5 years; so the older siblings didn't want to play with him; his parents were busy and exhausted; and he didn't have kids to play with; he became almost too good at self evaluation to the point of being overly self-critical
Thankfully James' wife had a very self-confident mother who always found the good in mistakes; now when James looses his cool he points out (loudly) that mom is a better at communication
His dad would give you a smack if they held the fork wrong; or didn't say "Yes sir or No Sir"
When you make a child fell weak and insignificant; you destroy self confidence
James realized now that his parents did their best with what they had; they didn't intend to screw him up
Got into college because he played sports in spite of his 2.5 GPA out of High School
His first year in college didn't scream "future Grad student" Sports took 25 hours a week; he also had a part time job; GPA was a 2.0 so he quit
Went back to Portland to be with his then girlfriend (he was in LOVE!); had a job selling cars and was offered some "white powder"
In the "white powder" moment he saw himself in two futures; in a orange jump suit in prison; or graduating college; so he called mom and said he wanted to go back to college
So we went back to college in Dayton; and two years into that his Dad pass away at age 49
The grief hit him very had; he dove head first into a drinking habit
The only reason he graduated college was because his girlfriend at the time spent a lot time at the library studying and he wanted to be near her
Sorta of drifted into a Master's Degree program in Chicago; was working a couple of jobs and constantly broke
Moved to Portland and talked himself into a job that he was totally unqualified for
12 months into that job he had a complete emotional break down; his admin assistant found him as white as a ghost; shaking with the sweats
Then he gets a DUI the punishment for which James credits for saving his life; out patient program (rehab) six months of 3.5 days a week 3 hours per class; six more months it was once a week for 3 hours; then a year of therapy
It was really eye opening to see the power of addiction; he listened to many other men and women create a lie to serve their addiction; and he choose the path of accepting responsibility and really trying to learn something about himself