Childhood Trauma and the Effects on Family and Romantic Relationships as well as Attachment Styles - Part 2 of a Joint Series, with Developmental Neuroscientist Dr Denise Bossarte

Hello listeners and welcome back to the victim to victor podcast, my name is Anu and I am your host. In this podcast episode I have Developmental Neuroscientist Dr Denise Bossarte back on my show and we will be discussing the impacts of trauma on relationships. This is Part 2 of a joint series which we will be hosting for trauma survivors and we look forward to serving.

Traumatic incidents that occur before the age of 18 can have a significant impact on relationships with oneself and others later on in life. Traumas can lead us to choose unhealthy partners and can leave us with insecurities and feelings of being undeserving of love. Trauma survivors also tend to put up with more undeserving behaviours from partners, making excuses for bad behaviours.  Setting boundaries can become a challenge.

In this talk, we will look at how trauma affects one's identity formation, including the loss of childhood, missing parts of oneself, attraction to destructive relationships, avoidance of relationships, avoidance of oneself, difficulty integrating emotions into one’s identity and emotional dysregulation.

Many survivors tend to have rigid, negative beliefs about relationships and it is common for oneself to be triggered into traumatized states - “fight, flight, or freeze” when we encounter situations that remind us of the original trauma, ongoing stressors or situations which our brain deems important for physical/emotional survival.

Attachment styles can influence how we communicate with others, and how we handle separations, arguments and intimacy. In this talk, we will discuss a few of the attachment styles as well as shame-based responses which can make us hide important parts of ourselves from our partners. We may put up a “wall” or mask our insecurities by attacking others or overcompensating.

Dr Denise Bossarte is a poet and an award-winning writer, photographer, and artist. Denise is a certified meditation facilitator and contemplative arts teacher and holds a PhD in developmental neuroscience. And she is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. You can find out more about Denise on her website: https://thrivingaftersexualabusebook.com.

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