UCWG 028: How Do You Find Closure With Your Emotional Baggage?

At 17, Katharina Knoll experienced the brutal murder of her boyfriend - a traumatic experience that has lasted with her the last 11 years, coming back into her psyche periodically as various events remind her of the event. Painful memories continue to haunt her without resolution because she has not learned to fulfill the expectations which had been cut short by his untimely death.

The great struggle Katharina must go through now is to examine the arbitrary associations she has adopt with her past trauma. Specific people, dates, and symbols only serve to bring back the negative emotions that keep her trapped in pain. She must learn to see things as they are and replace harmful associations with useful ones.

It is necessary for every truth-seeking person to become highly aware of the meaning they add to their observations in the realm of their minds. No matter what you do, you are adding meaning to experience. You need to figure out how to optimize your meanings and make them work for you instead of against you.

Of all the countless experiences we accumulate over every waking moment, only a tiny fraction end up repeating themselves in our unconscious over and over. The mind has ways of deciding what is important to store. One way to mediate the symptoms of unfulfilled expectations is to participate in similar activities which produce similar results.

People resist letting go of their emotional associations because it feels like giving up a part of themselves, or lessening the importance of an event. They must learn to leave the past in the past and cut off their negative associations, or find a way to replace them with positive ones. There is something good you can learn from any situation, if only you know how to process pain. Perspective can always be gained.

Forgiveness is accepting that a negative memory no longer has to negatively affect you. It is a funeral for emotional baggage. Funerals and other ceremonies are supposed to help us find closure, giving us a chance to close the recurring mental loop.

What are you missing in order to let go of what troubles you from the past?

Must you amputate the infected emotions? Or can you turn them around into something positive?