UCWG 026: How Do You Experience Intimacy with the Various People in Your Life?

Simone Sauter is a veteran of Uncomfortable Conversations With Gregory. After her last appearance in UCWG 007: Why Do You Believe What You Believe About Relationships? she is back to talk about her concept of relationships has changed in her own life and in what she has seen in the lives of the clients she works with as a heartbreak coach. This time, we go far beyond conventional romantic intimacy and approach the subject on a larger sociological level.

Gregory discusses his recent unceremonious removal from the Dynamite Circle, the online entrepreneur community that originally brought he and Simone together as friends and conversation partners. After writing an unfavorable review of the professional services of one of the community’s more prominent members following a bad business experience, the community founder decided to remove Gregory with little explanation.

Gregory and Simone use this unfortunate experience as a launchpad to discuss how individuals and organizations can operate on premises of pretending that what is true is not true. This method of operation always proves unsuccessful and unsustainable in the long-run, as censorship can only temporarily delay the inevitable.

Sometimes we have to make a choice between what is true and what is comfortable. We also need to choose what kind of people we bring into our lives once we know where our allegiance falls. If you’re not authentic with yourself and the people you want to serve, your life becomes divided into a series of false stories you want to tell. The space between you and reality widens further as time goes on.

Nobody should be immune to challenge. Authentic people and businesses should welcome tests of authenticity. Integrity is doing the right thing regardless of social consequences (or lack thereof).

In order for a community of any size or kind to operate, the participating members must agree on certain fundamental values and relationship dynamics. Do you consciously choose the principles by which you interact with the people in your life? What qualified someone to be part of your life? How does this change for differing levels of intimacy and function?

To understand what makes for a good relationship of any kind, you have to understand your own operating principles (whether they are deal-breakers or mere preferences). To have a fulfilling sex life, you must understand your own sexual nature. Women are the most frequent victims of not having had the opportunity to discover their own sexual nature. If you don’t know your own sexual nature, how is your partner supposed to? One of the worst sexual experiences for a man is to not be able to read the responses of his female sexual partner. Women never learn about their own nature, and thus cannot share this vital part of themselves with their partners.

Intimacy is the dissolution of barriers between separate parties. Guard yourself against excessive intimacy when it is not safe to remove your barriers. Allow yourself to become intimate with those who align with your principles - physically, mentally, emotionally, and everything inbetween.

Websites mentioned:
Simone Sauter’s relationship coaching services, From Pain To Power:
https://frompaintopower.de/

Simone Sauter’s first appearance on Uncomfortable conversations: https://gregorydiehl.net/ucwg-007-believe-relationships-resetting-conceptions-love-romance/

The Dynamite Circle digital nomad community:
http://dynamitecircle.com/

Gregory Diehl’s unfavorable review of a Dynamite Circle member:
https://gregorydiehl.net/edmund-john-flag-theory-review/