Trans Questioning Podcast

Taking the Plunge: Contemplating Hormone Replacement Therapy (06/11/2018)

June 13, 2018 15:18 - 36 minutes - 33.6 MB

The day of the appointment looms, and stress begins to take hold. THIS WEEK: A shorter episode due to surprises. Getting ready for my trip to a women's center to get bloodwork done for HRT, but is it what I want? Is it a waste of time? We also talk briefly about E3 and... not a heck of a lot else. Do you have questions, stories, or other gender-related gripes you want to share? Email me at [email protected] INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneinth...

Selfies of the Soul (05/26/2018)

May 30, 2018 12:00 - 57 minutes - 52.2 MB

Sometimes the healthiest identity is a constructed identity. THIS WEEK: The stress of friends moving across the country, the stress of losing friends altogether; plans for starting hormone replacement therapy, and considering internationl travel in the early stages of HRT; discussing Carta Monir's selfies; the power of selfies to reclaim personal agency; the means by which society robs everyone of their agency, but tricks heterosexual, cisgender, white, male, able-bodied folks that all their...

Imposter Syndrome: The Arrogance of Validation (05/13/2018)

May 19, 2018 12:00 - 47 minutes - 43.2 MB

What happens when you really believe nothing you do is worth the space it occupies? THIS WEEK: A flurry of life updates, including film awards, clothing swaps, and joyful conversations; how being transgender and/or being an artist comes with the constant baggage of imposter syndrome, wondering if you really are what you are, if you're just wasting everybody's time; learning that it isn't arrogant to feel that what you have spent years working on is actually pretty good; and, as always, tackl...

Trans News Roundup: A Primal Scream of Existential Dread (04/20/2018)

April 25, 2018 12:00 - 1 hour - 56.1 MB

What's going on in the world today? Probably nothing good! THIS WEEK: Updates about my life, including having a pleasant 4/20 (no relation); federal court overturns transgender military ban, which is a... good thing?; Boston's anti-discrimination laws protecting trans folks are on the ballot again, because the GOP really wants mandatory crotch inspections at every bathroom door; if you're going to make propaganda, at least put some money into it; Sarah has a crisis and slowly melts into a pu...

Is This What Being Human Feels Like? (04/11/2018)

April 12, 2018 12:00 - 52 minutes - 47.7 MB

Fun fact: sometimes coming out as transgender can be a good thing! THIS WEEK: I had my third laser appointment and it wasn't (as) miserable! Searching for grad school, giving mock lectures, finding a passion, working on a youtube show and a podcast while also trying to find hormones and do lasers and be able to pay bills all at once; having something to live for; learning to feel alright about oneself. Barebones by way of topics this week, but dense in terms of verbiage! Do you have questio...

Research is the Antidote for Hopelessness (03/20/2018)

March 28, 2018 12:00 - 56 minutes - 51.6 MB

When transitioning, it helps to look at the bigger picture. THIS WEEK: Impatiently waiting for laser hair removal to yield a fruitfully barren face; facial hair as a barrier to seeing myself as my preferred gender; wishing for a transgender data nexus; pros and cons of going the less-than-legal route for hormone replacement therapy; am I imagining progress? Hairgrowth cycles and why LHR takes so long; trying to make friends and find a trans/NB community; failed attempts at socializing; a cro...

Diaries of a Cracked Egg (03/01/2018)

March 14, 2018 12:00 - 42 minutes - 38.7 MB

Looking back on those first days of accepting my transness. THIS WEEK: Reading Twitter threads from July, August, and September of 2017 about realizing I was transgender, doubting whether I was transgender, and then accepting that yeah, I was transgender. The influence of ContraPoints, Zinnia Jones, and assorted trans spotlights; "I'm definitely not trans" means you're probably trans; the importance of seeing the variety of transgender experiences, and how hairy, overweight, or otherwise aty...

Beginner's Guide to Laser Hair Removal: How, Why, and When (02/25/2018)

February 27, 2018 12:00 - 1 hour - 58.3 MB

For the wayward soul who just wants to get blasted in the face by high-powered lasers. THIS WEEK: How to talk to professionals; why to get laser treatments; what laser hair removal is and how it works; how LHR compares to electrolysis in terms of time, pain, and cost; what a laser appointment looks like; LHR's longterm effectiveness; how to avoid outdated information; diversifying your porfolio of first-hand accounts from across the web; my experience with LHR, from length of the session to ...

In Anticipation of Passing or Failing (02/09/2018)

February 14, 2018 12:00 - 35 minutes - 32.3 MB

When you're waiting to start, all you can think is what happens next. THIS WEEK: Questions about temporality, the bad sounds of piano, the body hair situation, how tweezers are the gateway drug to epilation, a quick first-hand account of what epilating feels like, a rant about noisy chairs, imagined placebo feminization, WHAT IS A PRETTY HAND???, the strawman of autogynephilia, the question of vocal coaching, David Lynch, the spirituality of being transgender, and an exerpt from a book that ...

Names and Genitals: The Conversations We Never Have (01/16/2018)

January 24, 2018 12:00 - 47 minutes - 44.1 MB

How do you find a new name for a new you? THIS WEEK: My habit of connecting names to characters; the unintuitive intuition it takes to find a new name; the incomprehensibility of the universe; the terror of going out in girl mode for the very first time publicly; "transition" as an actual phase; nervous hair plucking tics; talking frankly about SEX REASSIGNMENT SURGERY (which I incorrectly refer to as "gender reassignment surgery"); the specifics of SRS for trans women; how it feels when you...

The Tantalizing Future of Cis-Medical Discrimination (01/05/2018)

January 17, 2018 12:00 - 45 minutes - 42.2 MB

Transgender healthcare advice is best served from uneducated cisgender practitioners. THIS WEEK: 2018 plans (again); spending time with family; more doubts about being trans; what would have helped me come out sooner?; a dream of normalcy that is probably too good to be true; crossdressing advice from a friend; a twitter thread from @transscribe where trans people discuss the many, many, many ways they've been ignored, ill-served, or outright abused by a poorly trained and biased medical est...

Carta Monir: If You Give a Teen an Internet, You Make Them Trans and Gay (12/20/2017)

January 10, 2018 12:00 - 56 minutes - 52.3 MB

Shut up, Zara! Let someone else talk for once. THIS WEEK: Carta Monir discusses the themes of her comics, the intersection of video games and real life, the way the internet exposes young people to new ideas, the way cis comfort is centered in trans coming out narratives, how comics are the best medium for depicting trans people, recommendations for where to buy cheap clothes, talking dead moms, indie comic recommendations, and plans for the future. Please follow Carta Monir on Twitter @car...

Trans Dating in the Movies: A Parable (12/25/2017)

January 03, 2018 12:00 - 48 minutes - 44.8 MB

A thought experiment regarding representation. THIS WEEK: If you make a movie about a trans woman being assaulted by a cis man, you're saying all trans women will be assaulted. If you make a movie about a trans woman being accepted by a cis man, you're saying all trans women will be unconditionally accepted. In short: the compounding interest of mass storytelling in a world full of minorities desperate for representation presents a unique challenge for young storytellers. ALSO: Christmas day...

The Benefits of Dead Parents (11/20/2017)

December 27, 2017 12:00 - 43 minutes - 40.1 MB

Sometimes having a hard life makes life easier. THIS WEEK: A couple comic recommendations, male privilege as a trans woman, bad family, identifying with anime cat girls and furry characters, the shame of stuff for girls, internalized misogyny, violence against women in media, and my plans for the new year. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Follow me on TWI...

Trans People Know What Cis People Know (11/04/2017)

December 20, 2017 12:00 - 57 minutes - 46.3 MB

Did you think we forgot? THIS WEEK: Talking about podcast hosting, fearing friends talking behind your back, taking and giving good writing advice, how cis people talk about trans people, how fascists talk about everyone, how Thor:Ragnarok made me realize that I'm a lesbian, and all of this while shaving. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Follow me on TWIT...

Emotional Breakdown ASMR (11/01/2017)

December 13, 2017 12:00 - 54 minutes - 49.8 MB

A grand old time with grand old emotions. WARNING: This one is EXACTLY what it says on the tin. Talking about figuring out you're trans just a liiitle too late, losing friends, losing family, struggling to find yourself, and ultimately how cathartic it can be to just let yourself feel emotions. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumgarner. Support me on PATREON at Patreon.com/LTAS Follow me on TWITTER @TransQ...

Drugs, Traps, and Transphobes (10/18/2017)

December 06, 2017 12:00 - 1 hour - 58.4 MB

In the mood for patriarchy. THIS WEEK: Turns out I have bipolar, the wonderful effects of drugs, society's puritanical dislike of drugs, how we treat alcoholics, comorbidity in disorders, what's it like to feel normal? A long rant about how terrible "trap" is as a way to refer to trans people, and another long rant reacting to a series of hilariously transphobic tweets. INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC is the Mii Channel Theme JAZZ COVER by insaneintherainmusic. COVER ART is by the wonderful Emilee Bumga...

S1E4 -On the Run from the Gender Police (10/10/2017)

November 29, 2017 13:00 - 53 minutes - 49 MB

"Weird is my thing." THIS WEEK: Do you have to "earn" your pronouns? The changing context of Facebook, a simple test to see if you're trans, an excerpt from Julia Serrano's "Whipping Girl," is passing as your preferred gender the end of the road? Obsessing over gender norms, expecting objectification, giving up the autonomy of a male body, the political danger of coming out as trans and the obligation you have to utilize your privilege to make other people's lives a little easier. This epis...

On the Run from the Gender Police (10/10/2017)

November 29, 2017 13:00 - 53 minutes - 49 MB

"Weird is my thing." THIS WEEK: Do you have to "earn" your pronouns? The changing context of Facebook, a simple test to see if you're trans, an excerpt from Julia Serrano's "Whipping Girl," is passing as your preferred gender the end of the road? Obsessing over gender norms, expecting objectification, giving up the autonomy of a male body, the political danger of coming out as trans and the obligation you have to utilize your privilege to make other people's lives a little easier. This epis...

"Am I trans enough?" and Other Ridiculous Questions (10/7/17)

November 22, 2017 14:00 - 51 minutes - 47 MB

Hierarchies as far as the eye can see! THIS WEEK: Discussing an email sent to Laura Kate Dale, ranting about the absurdity of gender norms, late night depression and doubts, desperately wanting a nerd shirt, changing attitudes, remembering a mock debate about don't ask don't tell, and learning to live with your own problems. This episode was recorded October 7th, 2017. WARNING: This episode contains frank discussion of dysphoric emotions, depression, and suicidal thoughts. INTRO/OUTRO MU...

Trust Your Gut: The Best Worst Advice (10/4/2017)

November 14, 2017 23:27 - 42 minutes - 38.8 MB

THIS WEEK: What lead me to realize I was transgender, how I feel about being trans, the magical thinking of gender questioning, the infuriating subjectivity of gender, how depression lies, why the best and worst advice is "trust your gut," and what to feel after a Twitter argument. What does it mean to be transgender? Coming out is hard, and there's a lot of pressure to immediately start transition once you've gone public. But there is a lot we can learn about ourselves in the process of co...

Gender Confessions and a Death in the Family (9/29/17)

November 14, 2017 22:35 - 48 minutes - 33.5 MB

What does it mean to be transgender? Coming out is hard, and there's a lot of pressure to immediately start transition once you've gone public. But there is a lot we can learn about ourselves in the process of coming to terms with being transgender / nonbinary / genderqueer, and that is the focus of this podcast: to live in the question without an immediate need to reach an answer. The Trans Questioning Podcast is one newly-minted trans person's record of their thoughts throughout the questi...