Total Party Kill

48: Chitin's Gonna Ichor

April 10, 2015 03:46 - 1 hour - 83.9 MB

You may ask yourself, why is this oasis so plentiful? And you may ask yourself, why is this lady so beautiful? And you may tell yourself, this is not a beautiful tent. And you may tell yourself, these are not beautiful rugs!

47: War on Rugs

March 24, 2015 09:00 - 54 minutes - 50.2 MB

In the wake of Omlol, Katch’ka, and Regdar getting in trouble for their door-related shenanigans, Carlos, Scale and Presta take on the next round of searching the caravan for creepy beetles. Water is fetched! Bribes are paid! Wicker baskets are moved mysteriously! An oasis is spotted! And is it true love at last for Omlol? (Spoiler: It’s not. Not at all.)

46: A Door Killed My Brother

March 12, 2015 04:06 - 55 minutes - 51 MB

The three interlopers who broke the master’s door are under investigation! Can Carlos, Scale and Presta aid in their defense? The management of the caravan tries to unravel the events of our previous episode, and everyone ends up even more confused. Plus, Presta learns an important lesson about vouching.

45: A Night on the Caravan

February 25, 2015 01:34 - 1 hour - 60.4 MB

Paramount Pictures presents the Three Athas Brothers in their funniest film yet! Or to put it another way, Katch’ka and Omlol and Regdar find a whole bunch of wacky ways to get into trouble while the rest of the party is sleeping. Scale makes an uncomfortably enthusiastic new friend! Bowls of stew are ordered! Teak is shattered! And how that Kank got into my pajamas, I’ll never know…

44: A Hat and Some Bugs

February 11, 2015 18:45 - 1 hour - 65.1 MB

Our adventurers meet their new boss and set out with the caravan into the desert. Regdar attempts to show the worth of his MBA. Katch’ka startles his new co-workers with his leaping. And a glint of sunlight off metal spotted nearby proves just too exciting to pass up.

43: 0 Days Since Last Death

January 30, 2015 01:03 - 1 hour - 69.1 MB

We return to the strange world of Dark Sun and some of the characters from the first season of Total Party Kill! Fresh off their victory at the Face in the Stone, Carlos, Katch’ka, and Regdar are ready for a visit to the pub, but a familiar face stands in their way! Plus there’s a discussion of microeconomics, Carlos shows off his lack of social skills, we learn about warring trading houses and teak futures, and a few new traveling companions are introduced.

42: Turn the Slug Around

January 15, 2015 02:18 - 1 hour - 55 MB

Our adventurers conclude their battle with Zarr and his (hob)goblin lackeys, and get some answers about Rutherford Urmbrusk and the Undermountain. Love maps? Check out Tony and Dan’s complete map for this adventure. See you in a couple of weeks for a return to our Dark Sun campaign, upgraded for D&D Fifth Edition, with some old friends and new faces!

41: Scorpion Rodeo

January 02, 2015 19:14 - 55 minutes - 51.3 MB

Our adventurers continue their battle through the scorpion kennel, and then force a final confrontation with Zarr.

40: There's Always a Lesser Goblin

December 11, 2014 23:12 - 58 minutes - 54 MB

Kay returns, and our adventurers set out down a secret passage in pursuit of Zaar. Olestran finds a room he’s seen before. And one particular Goblin really drew the short straw.

39: A Slug and a Nice Mint Julep

December 05, 2014 19:30 - 51 minutes - 47.4 MB

Son, I say, son, it’s time for our adventures to square off against Zarr, the gentleman boss of the southern dungeons. Hexes will be hurled, party members will be blinded, quarries will be sought, and ballistas will roll! Can this be Sluggy the Spirit Slug’s finest hour?

38: International House of Kobolds

November 27, 2014 00:56 - 47 minutes - 43.5 MB

Sluggy the spirit slug proves to be an amazing defense. Pieter Dragonforge gets it from all sides. Zaar is not impressed with the quality of his help. And the dungeon fills with more gas clouds than you’ll find in a Chipotle bathroom. It’s all just another day in the Undermountain.

37: This Guy's From Grand Rapids!

November 20, 2014 21:31 - 56 minutes

Our party takes stock after defeating the Rage Drake. Olestran commando-crawls up a ramp. Pretty medallions are found. (And Steve’s memory of medallion-grabbing is validated.) We don’t check for traps! Zarr’s bedchamber is discovered. Tapestry class is in session. Riswynn takes a dangerous nap. And all the while, Peter stands at a door, just itching for a fight.

36: That Ship Has Sailed to Winch Town

November 13, 2014 02:13 - 52 minutes - 48.4 MB

Hobgoblins and Drakes, oh my! Is this the boss battle Dragonforge and Associates has been waiting for? If you wanted to see us deploy strategy and roll a lot of dice, at long last you are going to get your wish.

35: Undermountain Thanksgiving

October 31, 2014 18:25 - 52 minutes - 47.7 MB

Drowabunga! A mysterious stranger brings a fish feast to our hardy-but-exhausted adventurers. There’s much conversation, a little dice rolling, and Pieter throws a surprise party for an unwitting Kobold. Also, Kay and a different Kobold have a very nice conversation about trees and sandwiches.

34: Time is a Flat Rat

October 18, 2014 04:13 - 54 minutes - 49.7 MB

Rats in a pit! Flessa climbs out, but the rats won’t be kept down! Our adventurers attack some vermin, meet a new friend, and inspect some rooms. Plus Olestran does some things with rope and some nice arrow tricks too.

33: Should My Orb Still Be Glowing?

October 03, 2014 16:18 - 1 hour - 56.7 MB

Dragonforge and Associates come around a corner to discover an entirely new room full of entirely new dangers! Melech and Pieter are clumsy lummoxes. A surprising feature of the new room is revealed. And while Flessa thinks they’re pointy kitties, if they bite and swarm, they’re probably rats. #ratfacts!

32: One Rat Deep

September 19, 2014 05:23 - 56 minutes - 51.4 MB

Our adventurers battle some goblins and ponder a stack of rats in the corner of a hallway. A clever goblin plan to trap our adventurers in an enclosed space has an apparently unanticipated side-effect. Pieter gets cold feet. Olestran rolls a critical smell. And at the end, we take a break for some talk about beer.

31: Blinded by Kobold Science

September 05, 2014 21:42 - 56 minutes - 51.6 MB

In this episode, our adventurers make a gigantic mess in a Kobold lab. A Kobold intern proffers his resume. Someone gets sparkly, like a Twilight vampire. Undermountain cubicles are disrupted. We mispronounce many words. Plus: Secret recipes learned at Fictional Kobold Science University!

30: Bone Throne

August 24, 2014 22:01 - 48 minutes - 44.1 MB

Our party confronts spooky floating bones above a spooky throne. Pieter covets a dead man’s hat. Olestran makes a nifty trick shot that nobody else wants him to make. Doors are checked. Sandwiches are promised. This episode also serves as the series pilot for “CSI: Undermountain.”

29: Don't Trust the Bugbear

August 11, 2014 03:15 - 1 hour - 50.6 MB

What’s behind the door? Our adventurers discover a sleeping guard and a collection of prisoners alive and dead. When Flessa’s not trying to blame it on her rusty dagger, Pieter is consulting Paladinpedia about whether it’s okay to kill a bugbear. Speaking of bugbears, we have a feeling you’re about to have a favorite non-player character…

28: 2 Legit 2 Hit

July 31, 2014 05:14 - 52 minutes - 42.5 MB

Dragonforge and Associates continues its clean-up of the Goblin and Kobold infested room. Flessa gets out her hammer, which leads to a series of jokes you might expect. A prisoner is rescued, and a door is opened. Melech is good at orbs, everyone does the Funky Diagonal, and a Kobold Worm Priest has a really confusing day.

27: Rat Burrito

July 20, 2014 21:29 - 54 minutes - 43.5 MB

At last, our party meets up with actual, moving foes! Attempts at diplomacy ensue. Pillars are used as convenient forms of cover. And there’s a tiny personal tragedy involving a model train.

26: Wiggle the Something-or-Others

July 11, 2014 04:45 - 54 minutes - 43.7 MB

Dragonforge and Associates continue their exploration of the eastern half of a corridor lined with statues. Pieter stands up. Flessa does some acrobatic moves. Riswynn professes her love of books. Melech lights up a statue. But will they finally reach the end of the hallway?

25: Death to All Statues

July 03, 2014 00:26 - 52 minutes - 24.6 MB

Dragonforge and Associates reach the bottom of the pit in their large basket and discover the horrors beneath. A survivor is interrogated. Bodies are thrown in the basket. A door is detected, its building materials recognized, and a corridor full of statues is discovered! Also our adventurers consider whether or not to deploy the “erosion strategy,” and Pieter takes a seat and ponders his choices.

24: Garage Band of Heroes

June 25, 2014 15:00 - 53 minutes - 43.2 MB

It’s time for a new adventure with new DMs and a new party! When we meet Dragonforge and Associates they are hanging out on some bean bag chairs in Mr. Dragonforge’s basement in a comfortable suburb of Waterdeep. But a strange note arrives and adventure calls them away to the Yawning Portal! Your new party (left to right, pixel art by Jesse Lane), is: Pieter - Human Paladin (played by Jason Snell) Melech - Tiefling Wizard (played by Monty Ashley) Olestran - Elf Ranger (played by Steve Lu...

23: Spooky Hat Club

April 24, 2014 08:51 - 1 hour - 57.7 MB

The adventure of the Temple of the Face in the Stone reaches its conclusion! But will our adventurers live to fight another day? Death-saving throws will be failed! Skill checks will be rolled! You’ve come this far, you might as well listen to one more episode with these knuckleheads. (This marks the end of this season of Total Party Kill. We’ll be back in a month or so with a shortish adventure with new characters, new DMs, and a new setting. But fear not! We’ll return to this group of char...

22: Who Knows Origami?

April 18, 2014 04:41 - 1 hour - 57.3 MB

Our adventurers take stock, meet a new fungus-covered friend, discover the fate of the Red Cord mercenaries, and make their way back to the entrance to the temple, where they discover there’s one more battle left to fight.

21: Warlocks and Door Locks

April 11, 2014 19:14 - 1 hour

Our Carlos-caused battle with the mushroom people continues. Nobody will escape unscathed! Doors will open and close. A retreat will be sounded. One member of the group will be revealed as a macabre MacGyver. And we learn that when you gaze into the mushroom, the mushroom looks back into you.

20: Do You Know the Mushroom Man?

April 05, 2014 05:22 - 1 hour - 56.9 MB

Our adventurers recover from their horrible wounds inflicted by the silkworm, take a rest, and then find the final room in this temple too intriguing to ignore. It’s all Carlos’s fault—he runs in where intelligent people fear to tread, and gets a face full of mushroom.

18: Pick Out a Pretty Headstone

March 21, 2014 21:39 - 57 minutes - 52.5 MB

Our adventurers battle against the giant silkworm at the heart of the temple, and their lives are on the line. No, seriously, unless one of them makes exactly the right dice roll at the right time, they’re all gonna die.

17: The Fightin' Sand Rams

March 14, 2014 19:58 - 57 minutes - 53.1 MB

Carlos is at the bottom of the pit, our party is standing in a doorway, and a giant silkworm is about to strike! This isn’t going to go well, isn’t it? In fact, Carlos, you might want to just stay down there in the pit. It’s safer down there.

16: Let the Best Mul Win

March 08, 2014 01:09 - 1 hour - 34.9 MB

Our adventurers continue their battle with Nala the Girl-liath and Daroc the Mul, who is even more unpleasant than Carlos. There’s also some exploring, Katchka makes critical rolls for nature and listening, curiously shaped mushrooms are discovered, and stick around for our terrifying cliffhanger!

15: Wraith Relations

March 02, 2014 01:00 - 1 hour - 35 MB

The battle with the scaled guardians, zombies, and wispy wraiths continues amid the dead bodies and braziers. Asteron eats a valuable gem. We debate the pronunciation of gith. Carlos gets caught thinking about something other than his job at just the wrong time. And we learn a valuable lesson about not letting your Minotaur do the negotiating for you.

14: Don't Lick the Serpent

February 22, 2014 23:00 - 58 minutes - 33.5 MB

Our adventurers investigate snake chalk art, disturb some funeral urns, and discover that sometimes a room full of dead bodies is just a room full of dead bodies… just not this time.

13: Plaintive Moos

February 16, 2014 23:38 - 1 hour - 60.9 MB

Our adventurers enter a room dominated by powerful winds. (But enough about that burrito Regdar ate back at the tavern.) A creepy whispering fountain and creepier whirling dust devils can’t be good, right? Also, Carlos gets really angry and attacks a statue.

12: The Orb Was Obvious

February 09, 2014 20:03 - 1 hour - 55.5 MB

Our dungeon crawl through the desert temple continues. We poke some weird fungus with a stick and then investigate a room containing a very old knight. It’s like that scene in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,” except it may be our adventurers who have chosen… poorly. Again. This is the first “new” episode of TPK. Older episodes originally appeared in the feed of The Incomparable and have been retconned into TPK episodes for new listeners.

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