24. So Horrible And Yet So Tiny

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords)
Lords:
* Jenni is on an internet break but you can email her at [email protected].
* Tyriq is @fourbitfriday on Twitter and elsewhere, and is making Catacomb Kids. https://www.ckgame.net/
Topics:
* 2:13 Hot Topic
* "Peaches, meet your fate!" https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/blna2q/hottopicemployeesofredditwhatareyour/emqprnc/
* 8:28 Toe picks
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=456TYtCggc
* Mike Vallely yells at Tony Hawk about pressure flips. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQCe6guSOOM
* A more detailed take on what happened with inlining and the X-Games. https://www.reddit.com/r/rollerblading/comments/1jpost/whyhasntrollerbladingcomebacktothexgames/cbhemrd/
* 22:15 Topical medication
* 30:42 Groke asks: "My friend (who is completely unaware of this podcast and did this apropos of nothing) emailed the Mars chocolate company to find out why the Topic candy bar has that name. 'Dear Mr Smith, Thanks for getting in touch about our MARS product. The Topic bar has been a firm favourite since it's introduction in 1962, unfortunately over time the origin of how the Topic chocolate bar came to be called Topic has been lost and now it has become a mystery that we are still trying to discover. If you need any more information, please let us know.'"
* 34:45 Test of Proficiency in Korean
* Nifflas's braille labeling purchase snafu. https://twitter.com/Nifflas/status/1230232736734031878
* Constructed scripts. https://www.omniglot.com/conscripts/english.htm
* Nicaraguan sign language. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NicaraguanSign_Language
* 49:36 Topic Records
Microtopics:
* Listening to a lot of dolphin podcasts.
* Discussing only topics on the Topic Special.
* Belching instead of answering the question.
* Your project going well lately and being slightly less afraid that it's going to be awful.
* A store that isn't in your local mall so you have to drive half an hour to the cool mall.
* Being afraid cool teenagers will stare you down and you'll evaporate on the spot.
* A store selling pop culture stuff you've actually heard of.
* Not having a Hot Topic story but telling one you read on the Internet.
* An anime version of Ben Stiller's character from Reality Bites.
* The Hot Topic in Ben Stiller's thought bubble that you can only shop at if Ben Stiller thinks of you.
* All food vanishing from the world because Ben Stiller has thought of it all and it's trapped in his mind.
* All the wiki pages that popped up for the movie Primer.
* Having sorted the spreadsheet and being unable to un-sort the spreadsheet.
* Thinking toe picks are a gross hygiene thing but actually they're for doing a triple lutz.
* Amputee guitarists who are pretty proficient at foot guitaring.
* Skates with four wheels in a rectangle being way less cool than skates with four wheels in a row because that's what girls do.
* Ice skates being harder to turn in than inline skates, because they cut a groove in the surface.
* Turning on the toe pick.
* Sucking at tourism because nothing interests you.
* Changing the subject to Tony Hawk's Pro Skater.
* Which indie game developers were previously pro inline skaters.
* Mike Vallely storming off angrily at the concept of doing pressure flips.
* A kickflip except you don't make the ollie motion with your front foot, you just kick the tail down and scoop it forward with your rear foot.
* Tony Hawk being cool and teaching you vert tricks and Mike Vallely refusing to talk to anyone who isn't a skateboarder.
* Skateboarders getting petty and insecure and getting inline skating removed from the X-Games.
* Completing the entire gap checklist in Tony Hawk 2 and putting it on your resume.
* Dropping the franchise completely after Tony Hawk 2 because the Playstation 1 version of Tony Hawk 3 doesn't have female custom skaters.
* The mission in Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 where you follow a homeless person around Venice Beach and harass him until he leaves town.
* Ollie the Magic Bum getting good at skateboarding so he can exact revenge.
* A full-contact, Tony-Hawk-And-Bully-Had-A-Baby roller derby game.
* Punxsutawney Phil looking down and seeing poop and so there'll be six more weeks of poop.
* Having to shove pills down a cat's throat twice a day for the rest of her life.
* Giving away your spare geckos and explaining to the recipient that they eat sunlight.
* A gecko eating another gecko like a corncob because they're not social animals after all.
* Three creatures each nesting-dolled in the mouth of another creature.
* The vet seemingly not knowing about lizards shedding when they put the cast on the lizard.
* The gecko still being alive so you're doing okay at pet ownership.
* Hiring a nurse that is also a gecko to take care of your gecko injections.
* A mystery that we are still trying to discover.
* Even the manufacturer not knowing why the candy bar is called Topic.
* Inventing the jaw that can take the smallest possible bite.
* Marzipan but with almonds.
* Not liking how they pronounce "urinal" in the UK. Not liking it at all.
* Things taking a dark turn and someone turning up dead.
* Not going out of your way to inform people that your product's name is shockingly racist.
* Preferring the language proficiency test that is more similar to Skee-Ball.
* Changing the subject to Tony Hawk's Pro Skater again.
* Wanting to feel sick about everything and doing all the missions at "sick" difficulty.
* Doing a few missions at "sick" difficulty and deciding that's enough sick for you.
* The Korean alphabet having been invented by a dude who thought ideograms were a bad idea.
* Borrowing ideograms from Chinese and then later going back for more.
* Nifflas inventing his own alphabet so doesn't have to hide his notes when he DMs.
* The process of training yourself to read your weirdo moon-man alphabet.
* Wanting to get into Lojban.
* Liking a phrase as much as Tolkien likes "cellar door."
* Inventing the language that magic is spoken in.
* Inventing a language for your game and demanding your players become fluent in it.
* The Nicaraguan school for deaf children doing a terrible job at teaching deaf children, but the children inventing Nicaraguan Sign Language.
* Collecting your paycheck for doing nothing.
* A corpus of industrial folk songs.
* Yelling "peaches meet your fate!" and making the chainsaws kiss.
* Mother-32 needing an offering of your hair every morning.
* The composition process you enjoy most not leading to the kind of music you enjoy most.
* Not wanting to make prototypes in the final medium because working in the final medium is a pain to work in.
* GML being the wax and 6502 assembly being the marble in this analogy.
* Live streaming video to the Apple II.
* Having time for hobbies because you quit Twitter.

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Jenni is on an internet break but you can email her at [email protected].
Tyriq is @fourbitfriday on Twitter and elsewhere, and is making Catacomb Kids. https://www.ckgame.net/

Topics:

2:13 Hot Topic

"Peaches, meet your fate!" https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/blna2q/hot_topic_employees_of_reddit_what_are_your/emqprnc/

8:28 Toe picks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_56TYtCggc
Mike Vallely yells at Tony Hawk about pressure flips. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQCe6guSOOM
A more detailed take on what happened with inlining and the X-Games. https://www.reddit.com/r/rollerblading/comments/1jpost/why_hasnt_rollerblading_come_back_to_the_xgames/cbhemrd/

22:15 Topical medication
30:42 Groke asks: "My friend (who is completely unaware of this podcast and did this apropos of nothing) emailed the Mars chocolate company to find out why the Topic candy bar has that name. 'Dear Mr Smith, Thanks for getting in touch about our MARS product. The Topic bar has been a firm favourite since it's introduction in 1962, unfortunately over time the origin of how the Topic chocolate bar came to be called Topic has been lost and now it has become a mystery that we are still trying to discover. If you need any more information, please let us know.'"
34:45 Test of Proficiency in Korean

Nifflas's braille labeling purchase snafu. https://twitter.com/Nifflas/status/1230232736734031878
Constructed scripts. https://www.omniglot.com/conscripts/english.htm
Nicaraguan sign language. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicaraguan_Sign_Language

49:36 Topic Records

Microtopics:

Listening to a lot of dolphin podcasts.
Discussing only topics on the Topic Special.
Belching instead of answering the question.
Your project going well lately and being slightly less afraid that it's going to be awful.
A store that isn't in your local mall so you have to drive half an hour to the cool mall.
Being afraid cool teenagers will stare you down and you'll evaporate on the spot.
A store selling pop culture stuff you've actually heard of.
Not having a Hot Topic story but telling one you read on the Internet.
An anime version of Ben Stiller's character from Reality Bites.
The Hot Topic in Ben Stiller's thought bubble that you can only shop at if Ben Stiller thinks of you.
All food vanishing from the world because Ben Stiller has thought of it all and it's trapped in his mind.
All the wiki pages that popped up for the movie Primer.
Having sorted the spreadsheet and being unable to un-sort the spreadsheet.
Thinking toe picks are a gross hygiene thing but actually they're for doing a triple lutz.
Amputee guitarists who are pretty proficient at foot guitaring.
Skates with four wheels in a rectangle being way less cool than skates with four wheels in a row because that's what girls do.
Ice skates being harder to turn in than inline skates, because they cut a groove in the surface.
Turning on the toe pick.
Sucking at tourism because nothing interests you.
Changing the subject to Tony Hawk's Pro Skater.
Which indie game developers were previously pro inline skaters.
Mike Vallely storming off angrily at the concept of doing pressure flips.
A kickflip except you don't make the ollie motion with your front foot, you just kick the tail down and scoop it forward with your rear foot.
Tony Hawk being cool and teaching you vert tricks and Mike Vallely refusing to talk to anyone who isn't a skateboarder.
Skateboarders getting petty and insecure and getting inline skating removed from the X-Games.
Completing the entire gap checklist in Tony Hawk 2 and putting it on your resume.
Dropping the franchise completely after Tony Hawk 2 because the Playstation 1 version of Tony Hawk 3 doesn't have female custom skaters.
The mission in Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 where you follow a homeless person around Venice Beach and harass him until he leaves town.
Ollie the Magic Bum getting good at skateboarding so he can exact revenge.
A full-contact, Tony-Hawk-And-Bully-Had-A-Baby roller derby game.
Punxsutawney Phil looking down and seeing poop and so there'll be six more weeks of poop.
Having to shove pills down a cat's throat twice a day for the rest of her life.
Giving away your spare geckos and explaining to the recipient that they eat sunlight.
A gecko eating another gecko like a corncob because they're not social animals after all.
Three creatures each nesting-dolled in the mouth of another creature.
The vet seemingly not knowing about lizards shedding when they put the cast on the lizard.
The gecko still being alive so you're doing okay at pet ownership.
Hiring a nurse that is also a gecko to take care of your gecko injections.
A mystery that we are still trying to discover.
Even the manufacturer not knowing why the candy bar is called Topic.
Inventing the jaw that can take the smallest possible bite.
Marzipan but with almonds.
Not liking how they pronounce "urinal" in the UK. Not liking it at all.
Things taking a dark turn and someone turning up dead.
Not going out of your way to inform people that your product's name is shockingly racist.
Preferring the language proficiency test that is more similar to Skee-Ball.
Changing the subject to Tony Hawk's Pro Skater again.
Wanting to feel sick about everything and doing all the missions at "sick" difficulty.
Doing a few missions at "sick" difficulty and deciding that's enough sick for you.
The Korean alphabet having been invented by a dude who thought ideograms were a bad idea.
Borrowing ideograms from Chinese and then later going back for more.
Nifflas inventing his own alphabet so doesn't have to hide his notes when he DMs.
The process of training yourself to read your weirdo moon-man alphabet.
Wanting to get into Lojban.
Liking a phrase as much as Tolkien likes "cellar door."
Inventing the language that magic is spoken in.
Inventing a language for your game and demanding your players become fluent in it.
The Nicaraguan school for deaf children doing a terrible job at teaching deaf children, but the children inventing Nicaraguan Sign Language.
Collecting your paycheck for doing nothing.
A corpus of industrial folk songs.
Yelling "peaches meet your fate!" and making the chainsaws kiss.
Mother-32 needing an offering of your hair every morning.
The composition process you enjoy most not leading to the kind of music you enjoy most.
Not wanting to make prototypes in the final medium because working in the final medium is a pain to work in.
GML being the wax and 6502 assembly being the marble in this analogy.
Live streaming video to the Apple II.
Having time for hobbies because you quit Twitter.

Support Topic Lords