177. An Episode Your Landlord Should Not Listen To

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Lords:
* Alicia
* Ryan
* Just type his name into google.
Topics:
* Seattle's reaction to snow vs the Bay Area's reaction to rain: who is more dramatic?
* Would you rather fart bones once a month or have Goldeneye "big head mode" on in real life for a year?
* Moral philosophy lessons from the California DMV
* Nancy
* https://www.nybooks.com/articles/1966/08/18/nancy/
* Common everyday items that make you mentally "time travel"
Microtopics:
* Structurally reinforcing the scrotum.
* Plugging mundane chores around the house.
* Why do you live here, Seattle?
* The lamentation of a failed joke being funnier than the joke itself would've been.
* Turning the tire towards the curb when parking on a hill.
* Driving in inclement weather.
* Milking oats.
* What it means for society when you make oat milk at home.
* The rain we occasionally get except way more.
* Bettie White-out.
* When an imaginary kid uses his last words to put you on blast.
* The advantages and disadvantages of big head mode.
* How to get on the bus with big head mode on.
* Whose bones you're farting right now.
* Big Head Mode Confirmed in GoldenEye 007.
* The yoga pose that is most optimal for shitting bones.
* Getting your GoldenEye big head stuck in the automatic doors at TJ Maxx.
* Whale bones on your mattress.
* Which bones you can do without.
* Bone pellets.
* Using your broken tooth as a fidget toy.
* An absolutely staggering amount of dental work.
* A perfectly lovely root canal.
* Using your bone-lasered rib as a fidget toy.
* Extra ribs just loose in your torso somewhere.
* Ribs of betrayal stabbing you in your soft pink innards.
* McRib, more like MacBethRib.
* The DMV letting you know that your custom license plate is "in the mail, you fucking pervert."
* A grizzled PI paid to determine whether Dr. Puff is a real doctor.
* Dark, but fair.
* The moral philosophy of the DMV.
* The 4chan veteran the DMV hires to detect profanity in custom license plate applications.
* Three letters that mean a car thing.
* You just got passed by a bad driver.
* Nancyverse lore.
* The one place in the world where the cost of living is higher than San Francisco.
* Slant rhymes that slant so much they fall over.
* Writing a Nancy fan poem just so you can slip increasingly awful rhymes into it.
* Making your poem worse and worse as it goes on because what are the readers going to do, stop reading? Nobody has Netflix in 1966.
* Using hand-crank egg-beaters when it's not the Prohibition.
* Everybody at the office party with those paper guillotines, going to town on reams of paper.
* Jim's hotel waffle story again.
* Paying $8 for this novelty bust of Duke Nukem because you liked Duke Nukem 1.
* High school kids dressing just like you dressed when you were in high school 20 years ago.
* JNCO jeans with a dragon on the back pocket.
* That Nostalgia Cycle: it's gonna come around.
* Using two different keys to unlock and start your car.
* The best car for the kidnapper on the go.
* The first car to use the same key for the door, trunk and ignition.
* Locking the exhaust pipe so nobody can put a banana in there.
* Separate keys for locking your sun and moonroof.

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Alicia
Ryan

Just type his name into google.

Topics:

Seattle's reaction to snow vs the Bay Area's reaction to rain: who is more dramatic?
Would you rather fart bones once a month or have Goldeneye "big head mode" on in real life for a year?
Moral philosophy lessons from the California DMV
Nancy

https://www.nybooks.com/articles/1966/08/18/nancy/

Common everyday items that make you mentally "time travel"

Microtopics:

Structurally reinforcing the scrotum.
Plugging mundane chores around the house.
Why do you live here, Seattle?
The lamentation of a failed joke being funnier than the joke itself would've been.
Turning the tire towards the curb when parking on a hill.
Driving in inclement weather.
Milking oats.
What it means for society when you make oat milk at home.
The rain we occasionally get except way more.
Bettie White-out.
When an imaginary kid uses his last words to put you on blast.
The advantages and disadvantages of big head mode.
How to get on the bus with big head mode on.
Whose bones you're farting right now.
Big Head Mode Confirmed in GoldenEye 007.
The yoga pose that is most optimal for shitting bones.
Getting your GoldenEye big head stuck in the automatic doors at TJ Maxx.
Whale bones on your mattress.
Which bones you can do without.
Bone pellets.
Using your broken tooth as a fidget toy.
An absolutely staggering amount of dental work.
A perfectly lovely root canal.
Using your bone-lasered rib as a fidget toy.
Extra ribs just loose in your torso somewhere.
Ribs of betrayal stabbing you in your soft pink innards.
McRib, more like MacBethRib.
The DMV letting you know that your custom license plate is "in the mail, you fucking pervert."
A grizzled PI paid to determine whether Dr. Puff is a real doctor.
Dark, but fair.
The moral philosophy of the DMV.
The 4chan veteran the DMV hires to detect profanity in custom license plate applications.
Three letters that mean a car thing.
You just got passed by a bad driver.
Nancyverse lore.
The one place in the world where the cost of living is higher than San Francisco.
Slant rhymes that slant so much they fall over.
Writing a Nancy fan poem just so you can slip increasingly awful rhymes into it.
Making your poem worse and worse as it goes on because what are the readers going to do, stop reading? Nobody has Netflix in 1966.
Using hand-crank egg-beaters when it's not the Prohibition.
Everybody at the office party with those paper guillotines, going to town on reams of paper.
Jim's hotel waffle story again.
Paying $8 for this novelty bust of Duke Nukem because you liked Duke Nukem 1.
High school kids dressing just like you dressed when you were in high school 20 years ago.
JNCO jeans with a dragon on the back pocket.
That Nostalgia Cycle: it's gonna come around.
Using two different keys to unlock and start your car.
The best car for the kidnapper on the go.
The first car to use the same key for the door, trunk and ignition.
Locking the exhaust pipe so nobody can put a banana in there.
Separate keys for locking your sun and moonroof.

Support Topic Lords