14. Dad Is A Cenobite

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords)
Lords:
* April is a park ranger at @aprilsaur.
* Danny makes video game documentaries at https://noclip.website/ and is on Twitter at @dannyodwyer.
Topics:
* 4:26 Intentionally teaching your child the wrong word for something.
* Dogtooth. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogtooth(film)
* It turns out the kid's mom was talking to him in English at the same time -- a bilingual household. https://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/news/article/13011269/klingon-as-a-second-language
* The "I Can Eat Glass" project. https://www.oocities.org/nodotus/hbglass.html
* 14:44 Harbinger households.
* https://boingboing.net/2019/12/03/harbringer-of-doom.html
* 21:29 Men's wallets.
* 31:45 Quill asks: "I've been planning to change my name recently. The first name that I came up with is 'Quill,' but I can't think of a good last name to go with it. Could you give me some suggestions, or some advice on how to come up with cool names?"
* We used Hitch Switch to change our names and it saved us a lot of work. (It still involved a lot of work.) https://www.hitchswitch.com/
* The Aphantasia study. https://www.eugencpopa.ro/wp-content/uploads/Afantazia-.pdf
* 41:17 Shen Yun commercials are literally everywhere.
* Shen Yun 2019 official trailer. https://youtu.be/7H-kYoczCp0
* Shen Yun is "essentially, religious-political propaganda—or, more generously, an extremely elaborate commercial for Falun Dafa’s spiritual teachings and its plight vis-à-vis the Chinese Communist regime." https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/stepping-into-the-uncanny-unsettling-world-of-shen-yun
* How to use an abacus. https://www.ee.ryerson.ca/~elf/abacus/intro.html
* How to use a slide rule. https://www.sliderulemuseum.com/SRCourse.htm
* Baby friendly movie theaters. https://babyfriendlyamerica.com/2016/06/movies/
* 49:50 Woodpeckers can withstand impacts of 100gs.
* Woodpecker eating. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPhzGpSspSHx1cA1O-FAAtsFu34MZbg-t
* A weasel riding a woodpecker. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2015/3/150303-weasels-woodpeckers-animals-science-weaselpecker-photos/
* The best source I could find describing the mechanism of any self sharpening maw: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/adfm.201001546
* 57:24 Being an extremely unimaginative kid.
Microtopics:
* Reading numbers off of a list because topics haven't been invented yet.
* Giving someone a funny look where the funny part is that you're not looking at them.
* Cows that are so cute you want to want to put them in your mouth, which would surely kill them.
* The fuzzy cows only being fuzzy because it's winter.
* Falling off a cliff being the only way to hurt yourself in Ireland.
* The song they teach Irish children about American tourists falling off cliffs.
* Age differences being insignificant when you're millions of years old.
* Knowing two people but calling them both the same thing because one of their names is too hard to say.
* Which animals are close enough to a dog to call "dog."
* A perfect 1960s household but the dad is a cenobite.
* Not being sure if you have bad luck or if you're just a bad person.
* Product researchers studying what you like because everything you like fails.
* Lying to researchers so companies will still make products you like.
* Eating banana flavored corn flakes while you watch Milli Vanilli music videos on your Betamax player and Ralph Nader is the mayor.
* Moving to a zip code where all your neighbors have your same contrary taste in products.
* A wallet the size of four king-sized Snickers bars.
* Finding paradise in the wrong gender's department at Target.
* Feeling the thrill of being free of a giant heavy brick.
* Having to buy an expensive, fashionable watch because otherwise your peers won't take you seriously.
* Taking a photo of your ID and just showing the cop your Instagram.
* Getting a non-folding wallet so your dollar bills won't have creases.
* Explaining to the barista that the last guy put the crease in the dollar bill, not you.
* Promising the barista you won't fold the coffee either.
* Getting a note press so this sort of thing won't happen again.
* Getting to say your cool last name into a walkie talkie at work.
* Technically not appropriating anything because you're just using culture that's already been appropriated by someone else.
* A day full of mostly making people happy, for a change.
* Changing your last name to Ass and owing royalties to Ass owners.
* An opportunity for some serious synergy.
* Radio listeners celebrating other radio listeners.
* Deciding to throw the blue checkmark people in with gen pop.
* Waiting until you're on your deathbed to watch something to maximize anticipation.
* The last thing you see before they turn off the dialysis machine.
* Missing out on pop culture because you always click "skip ad" as soon as possible.
* Advertising your audience into submission.
* Trying to explain a slide rule without understanding what a slide rule is.
* Watching Alien in the theater with a baby strapped to your chest.
* Evolving to not kill yourself when you head butt a tree.
* Having an incredibly fancy tongue.
* Squirrels eating every single bulb from your string lights to humiliate you.
* A peregrine falcon drowning a songbird in a creek while looking you in the eye.
* Always being sure to catch the woodpecker with the beak facing away from you.
* Letting the other kids on the playground do the imagining for you.
* Deciding whether it's actually "great" to "e-meet" you.

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

April is a park ranger at @aprilsaur.
Danny makes video game documentaries at https://noclip.website/ and is on Twitter at @dannyodwyer.

Topics:

4:26 Intentionally teaching your child the wrong word for something.

Dogtooth. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogtooth_(film)
It turns out the kid's mom was talking to him in English at the same time -- a bilingual household. https://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/news/article/13011269/klingon-as-a-second-language
The "I Can Eat Glass" project. https://www.oocities.org/nodotus/hbglass.html

14:44 Harbinger households.

https://boingboing.net/2019/12/03/harbringer-of-doom.html

21:29 Men's wallets.
31:45 Quill asks: "I've been planning to change my name recently. The first name that I came up with is 'Quill,' but I can't think of a good last name to go with it. Could you give me some suggestions, or some advice on how to come up with cool names?"

We used Hitch Switch to change our names and it saved us a lot of work. (It still involved a lot of work.) https://www.hitchswitch.com/
The Aphantasia study. https://www.eugencpopa.ro/wp-content/uploads/Afantazia-.pdf

41:17 Shen Yun commercials are literally everywhere.

Shen Yun 2019 official trailer. https://youtu.be/7H-kYoczCp0
Shen Yun is "essentially, religious-political propaganda—or, more generously, an extremely elaborate commercial for Falun Dafa’s spiritual teachings and its plight vis-à-vis the Chinese Communist regime." https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/stepping-into-the-uncanny-unsettling-world-of-shen-yun
How to use an abacus. https://www.ee.ryerson.ca/~elf/abacus/intro.html
How to use a slide rule. https://www.sliderulemuseum.com/SR_Course.htm
Baby friendly movie theaters. https://babyfriendlyamerica.com/2016/06/movies/

49:50 Woodpeckers can withstand impacts of 100gs.

Woodpecker eating. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPhzGpSspSHx1cA1O-FAAtsFu34MZbg-t
A weasel riding a woodpecker. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2015/3/150303-weasels-woodpeckers-animals-science-weaselpecker-photos/
The best source I could find describing the mechanism of any self sharpening maw: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/adfm.201001546

57:24 Being an extremely unimaginative kid.

Microtopics:

Reading numbers off of a list because topics haven't been invented yet.
Giving someone a funny look where the funny part is that you're not looking at them.
Cows that are so cute you want to want to put them in your mouth, which would surely kill them.
The fuzzy cows only being fuzzy because it's winter.
Falling off a cliff being the only way to hurt yourself in Ireland.
The song they teach Irish children about American tourists falling off cliffs.
Age differences being insignificant when you're millions of years old.
Knowing two people but calling them both the same thing because one of their names is too hard to say.
Which animals are close enough to a dog to call "dog."
A perfect 1960s household but the dad is a cenobite.
Not being sure if you have bad luck or if you're just a bad person.
Product researchers studying what you like because everything you like fails.
Lying to researchers so companies will still make products you like.
Eating banana flavored corn flakes while you watch Milli Vanilli music videos on your Betamax player and Ralph Nader is the mayor.
Moving to a zip code where all your neighbors have your same contrary taste in products.
A wallet the size of four king-sized Snickers bars.
Finding paradise in the wrong gender's department at Target.
Feeling the thrill of being free of a giant heavy brick.
Having to buy an expensive, fashionable watch because otherwise your peers won't take you seriously.
Taking a photo of your ID and just showing the cop your Instagram.
Getting a non-folding wallet so your dollar bills won't have creases.
Explaining to the barista that the last guy put the crease in the dollar bill, not you.
Promising the barista you won't fold the coffee either.
Getting a note press so this sort of thing won't happen again.
Getting to say your cool last name into a walkie talkie at work.
Technically not appropriating anything because you're just using culture that's already been appropriated by someone else.
A day full of mostly making people happy, for a change.
Changing your last name to Ass and owing royalties to Ass owners.
An opportunity for some serious synergy.
Radio listeners celebrating other radio listeners.
Deciding to throw the blue checkmark people in with gen pop.
Waiting until you're on your deathbed to watch something to maximize anticipation.
The last thing you see before they turn off the dialysis machine.
Missing out on pop culture because you always click "skip ad" as soon as possible.
Advertising your audience into submission.
Trying to explain a slide rule without understanding what a slide rule is.
Watching Alien in the theater with a baby strapped to your chest.
Evolving to not kill yourself when you head butt a tree.
Having an incredibly fancy tongue.
Squirrels eating every single bulb from your string lights to humiliate you.
A peregrine falcon drowning a songbird in a creek while looking you in the eye.
Always being sure to catch the woodpecker with the beak facing away from you.
Letting the other kids on the playground do the imagining for you.
Deciding whether it's actually "great" to "e-meet" you.

Support Topic Lords