109. Ultra Rare Cheeto Shaped Like Batman Crying

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Lords:
* Stevie
* Avery
* https://averyburke.bandcamp.com/
Topics:
* Collectable cheetos on Ebay
* https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=rare+cheeto
* Japanese websites are stuck in the 90s. Any theories?
* https://search.marginalia.nu/
* Medieval European and ancient Egyptian philosophy.
* Brad asks "Denatured alcohol: alcohol that has poison added to it to prevent people drinking it. What other things do we / could we intentionally pollute to restrict their usage?"
* The unusual puzzles of StarTropics.
Microtopics:
* Defining poop by its shape.
* The lava of the human body.
* The Content Distribution Baby growing up into a Content Distribution Man.
* An angry internet mob that won't say why they're angry so you just have to fix every problem until they go away.
* Legally changing your name to add a silent and invisible Bitcoin logo.
* Searching for collectible Cheetos on eBay.
* A Cheeto shaped like a lobster claw.
* Putting a Cheeto shaped like a cockatiel on eBay for months but nobody's buying so you give up and eat it.
* Whether there is a subculture of investors collecting rare Cheetos on eBay or if it's just a subculture of people listing Cheetos on eBay as a joke.
* heritageauctionsforcheetos.com
* Bidding $40,000 on a Cheeto shaped like Harambe when you have no intention of paying, because the worst that can happen is that your eBay score goes down by one point.
* Buying a penis-shaped collectible Cheeto for $1.40 but still waiting on it because it got caught up in escrow.
* Bidding on an eBay auction and walking away when you get outbid.
* Looking at collectible Cheeto auctions and then eBay won't stop trying to sell you posters of ladies canoodling.
* Cheeto misprints and their value on the collectors market.
* Arnold Schwarzenegger if his legs were joined together like a seal.
* The web sites we visited back before the internet had the power to reach into the real world and strangle it.
* A search engine optimized to return pages that are mostly static text.
* Loading the bottom of your web page with keywords.
* Keeping a designer on payroll so that every few years your interface can alternate between having gradients and being flat.
* Asking Jeeves things and he tells you the answers, like a modern day Delphi.
* Let's play: Flaming Hot Cheetos or Freezing Cold Cheetos?
* A cheerleader pyramid made of butlers.
* Scraping Wikipedia and formating the results like a book.
* A postcard with a picture of Kim Jong Un saying "Live, Laugh, Love."
* Pharaoh culture.
* A Canticle for Liebowitz.
* Medieval monks stumbling into a bomb shelter.
* Making an illuminated manuscript of instructions on how to build a bomb so you can give it to the Pope.
* The Learned Bede.
* The four dudes in your culture who can write and create original work.
* Kingdoms in medieval Europe, centered around the manors of rich noble Romans.
* Nearly everyone dying from the plague so all the public servants are in their early teens.
* Intelligible Forms.
* Aristotelean ideas about science.
* Going real alien.
* Ultra Rare Cheeto Shaped Like The Venerable Bede.
* The first dinosaur of Egypt.
* Inventing the razor because of your unsightly back hair.
* Waking up from anesthetic to find that the surgeon shaved body parts nowhere near the incision site, "because you're a hairy beast."
* First, do no hair.
* The Egyptian book of the Dead.
* The Egyptian conception of the afterlife, where you go underground and a guy with a crocodile head weighs your heart against the Feather of Truth and if your heart balances, you get to sit in a long line with your male predecessors for eternity, and that's the best possible outcome.
* Religions competing to provide the best afterlife.
* When we as a species learned to attach afterlife outcomes to ethical behavior, as opposed to dying in battle.
* Having a dream once where all the great kings, after they die they go to the House of Dust and eat clay for eternity, and deciding that that's a fact. That's canon now.
* The nine parts of the soul.
* Being constantly surrounded, your whole life, by monuments to death big enough to see from space.
* Adding a scent to natural gas so that you can smell when it's filling your house.
* Whether antifreeze is sweet and if so can a cat taste antifreeze.
* How one might test whether cats can taste sweet.
* Tongue meat analysis: a great way to tell.
* The Inverted Qualia Problem.
* Asking a cat if it can taste sweet, and the cat asks "what does sweet mean" and you say "sweet my internal experience when I put these white crystals in my mouth" and the cat is like "I also have an internal experience when I put these white crystals in my mouth."
* A video game related topic.
* Trying to locate your missing uncle who has been abducted by aliens.
* A video game NPC asking you for a password and to find it you can to have to dip the video game's manual in water in real life.
* An 80s video game puzzle that requires you to be familiar with solfege to solve it.
* How you could get away with a lot more bullshit back in the 80s.
* The experience of suddenly realizing that it's the piece of paper.
* Going into a portable trailer made up like a cool bachelor pad and noticing that you don't have a reflection in the mirror and upon further examination realizing that the mirror is actually a window into the same room reversed, down to the clock running counterclockwise.
* Sneaking irrelevant puzzles into someone else's room escape game.
* Forcing the employees of an escape room to escape an escape room of their own. (Jail.)
* The ultimate unrequited high five.

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Stevie
Avery

https://averyburke.bandcamp.com/

Topics:

Collectable cheetos on Ebay

https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=rare+cheeto

Japanese websites are stuck in the 90s. Any theories?

https://search.marginalia.nu/

Medieval European and ancient Egyptian philosophy.
Brad asks "Denatured alcohol: alcohol that has poison added to it to prevent people drinking it. What other things do we / could we intentionally pollute to restrict their usage?"
The unusual puzzles of StarTropics.

Microtopics:

Defining poop by its shape.
The lava of the human body.
The Content Distribution Baby growing up into a Content Distribution Man.
An angry internet mob that won't say why they're angry so you just have to fix every problem until they go away.
Legally changing your name to add a silent and invisible Bitcoin logo.
Searching for collectible Cheetos on eBay.
A Cheeto shaped like a lobster claw.
Putting a Cheeto shaped like a cockatiel on eBay for months but nobody's buying so you give up and eat it.
Whether there is a subculture of investors collecting rare Cheetos on eBay or if it's just a subculture of people listing Cheetos on eBay as a joke.
heritageauctionsforcheetos.com
Bidding $40,000 on a Cheeto shaped like Harambe when you have no intention of paying, because the worst that can happen is that your eBay score goes down by one point.
Buying a penis-shaped collectible Cheeto for $1.40 but still waiting on it because it got caught up in escrow.
Bidding on an eBay auction and walking away when you get outbid.
Looking at collectible Cheeto auctions and then eBay won't stop trying to sell you posters of ladies canoodling.
Cheeto misprints and their value on the collectors market.
Arnold Schwarzenegger if his legs were joined together like a seal.
The web sites we visited back before the internet had the power to reach into the real world and strangle it.
A search engine optimized to return pages that are mostly static text.
Loading the bottom of your web page with keywords.
Keeping a designer on payroll so that every few years your interface can alternate between having gradients and being flat.
Asking Jeeves things and he tells you the answers, like a modern day Delphi.
Let's play: Flaming Hot Cheetos or Freezing Cold Cheetos?
A cheerleader pyramid made of butlers.
Scraping Wikipedia and formating the results like a book.
A postcard with a picture of Kim Jong Un saying "Live, Laugh, Love."
Pharaoh culture.
A Canticle for Liebowitz.
Medieval monks stumbling into a bomb shelter.
Making an illuminated manuscript of instructions on how to build a bomb so you can give it to the Pope.
The Learned Bede.
The four dudes in your culture who can write and create original work.
Kingdoms in medieval Europe, centered around the manors of rich noble Romans.
Nearly everyone dying from the plague so all the public servants are in their early teens.
Intelligible Forms.
Aristotelean ideas about science.
Going real alien.
Ultra Rare Cheeto Shaped Like The Venerable Bede.
The first dinosaur of Egypt.
Inventing the razor because of your unsightly back hair.
Waking up from anesthetic to find that the surgeon shaved body parts nowhere near the incision site, "because you're a hairy beast."
First, do no hair.
The Egyptian book of the Dead.
The Egyptian conception of the afterlife, where you go underground and a guy with a crocodile head weighs your heart against the Feather of Truth and if your heart balances, you get to sit in a long line with your male predecessors for eternity, and that's the best possible outcome.
Religions competing to provide the best afterlife.
When we as a species learned to attach afterlife outcomes to ethical behavior, as opposed to dying in battle.
Having a dream once where all the great kings, after they die they go to the House of Dust and eat clay for eternity, and deciding that that's a fact. That's canon now.
The nine parts of the soul.
Being constantly surrounded, your whole life, by monuments to death big enough to see from space.
Adding a scent to natural gas so that you can smell when it's filling your house.
Whether antifreeze is sweet and if so can a cat taste antifreeze.
How one might test whether cats can taste sweet.
Tongue meat analysis: a great way to tell.
The Inverted Qualia Problem.
Asking a cat if it can taste sweet, and the cat asks "what does sweet mean" and you say "sweet my internal experience when I put these white crystals in my mouth" and the cat is like "I also have an internal experience when I put these white crystals in my mouth."
A video game related topic.
Trying to locate your missing uncle who has been abducted by aliens.
A video game NPC asking you for a password and to find it you can to have to dip the video game's manual in water in real life.
An 80s video game puzzle that requires you to be familiar with solfege to solve it.
How you could get away with a lot more bullshit back in the 80s.
The experience of suddenly realizing that it's the piece of paper.
Going into a portable trailer made up like a cool bachelor pad and noticing that you don't have a reflection in the mirror and upon further examination realizing that the mirror is actually a window into the same room reversed, down to the clock running counterclockwise.
Sneaking irrelevant puzzles into someone else's room escape game.
Forcing the employees of an escape room to escape an escape room of their own. (Jail.)
The ultimate unrequited high five.

Support Topic Lords