What are your channels of arousal?

"Understanding your inner landscape empowers you with conscious choice.  It makes it easier to clearly ask for what you want, and opens doors to more intimacy.  There are multiple channels of sexual turn-on.  Below are some general categories to help you identify your blueprint.
ROMANTIC

Are you aroused by feeling cherished, or by telling your lover how precious and special they are?  Do you get turned on by sweeping your partner off their feet, or by being rescued and taken care of?  Do you enjoy surprise gifts, romantic dates, flowers, and courting rituals?

Do you love expressions of affection through soft, slow, sensual touch? Do you melt when your lover says your name softly, as they run their hands through your hair or across your cheek? Do you long to hear that you are the one, the one who has all your lovers affection and attention “forever”? Even if you know it’s not going to necessarily last forever, the idea may create a sense of safety, turn on and heat in you, if you are a romantic.  Romantic turn-on tends to be less overtly sexual and more about cherishing, safety, feeling special and chosen.

PASSIONATE

Do you get turned on by imagining you and your lover tearing each other’s clothes off with a primal hunger? In the kitchen, in the car, anywhere?

This is passionate play. Do you grin at the words, “I want you so badly, I can’t hold back, I want to eat you alive”?

You may like the thrill of transmitting, through your eyes and body, a primal hunger. Or you may crave to be a willing prey: quivering, stalked, consumed.

The lead-up to this kind of unfettered desire is often driven by primal impulse or tension built over time through limited availability or access to your lover.

POWER DYNAMICS (DOMINANCE & SUBMISSION)

Do you melt when your partner knows exactly what they want? Do you yearn to trust them enough to surrender and be taken? Or do you crave total control and the full expression of your power?

We live in a culture where dominance has caused a tremendous amount of violence, fear, and repression.  Dominance doesn’t have to be violent; in fact, it can be loving and nurturing. Mutual consent can be an empowering container.

Tension and play arises when one partner leads with desire and power (dominance) while the other feels safe to be an object of their partner’s full attention, care, desire and commanding presence (submission). This channel of turn-on can activate healing and connection through exchanging power and attunement through a safe space of play and clear consent.

SPIRITUAL

Do you feel turned on by gazing into someone’s eyes and feeling the depth of their soul? Do you make love in ways that open you to a sense of yourself beyond your physical senses?  This channel is about subtle openness and awareness, remembering oneness, and experiencing cosmic love and merging through sexual expression.

ECO-SEX

Are you most turned on in the natural world?  Maybe you get aroused by the smell of warm salty air in the tropics, or by plunging in cold rivers and warming on sun-heated rocks, or by wrestling in the grass smelling the earth. Do you enjoy feeding your lover food? Does the opening of flowers make you quiver?

If so, you may be an ecosexual: one who makes loves with the Earth through your senses."

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