AT HOME WITH HOMER: Happiness — with Stephanie Dua

Kanika: I heard you mention in a recent interview that it wasn’t your job to “make your kids happy” and it stopped me in my tracks. I mean, making sure someone else is happy is a tall order (and might I mention impossible), but so many parents assume that role. I know I did. If happiness isn’t the goal, what is?
Stephanie: Yes, I can totally relate. It’s so natural to assume that responsibility. But once you acknowledge that it’s an impossible task and start focusing on the things you do have control over, a huge weight lifts.
Stephanie’s Tips:

Give them power over their decisions, even the wrong ones.

If kids are fighting you to put on shoes or a raincoat, once I said, “Okay, don’t wear shoes” or “Okay, don’t wear a raincoat” and when they felt the direct consequences of their decision, they were able to make better decisions in the future

Give them agency over their success and failures

Ex. not checking homework -- allowing the teacher to build a direct relationship with the student and hold them accountable

Support them as they experience a full range of emotions

You can’t control their feelings -- sadness, elation and disappointment are all part of life, so instead help them develop tools to be able to cope with these emotions

Build resilience

Episode Links:

WEBSITE: LearnWithHomer.com

INSTAGRAM: @learnwithhomer

FACEBOOK: /learnwithhomer

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kanika: I heard you mention in a recent interview that it wasn’t your job to “make your kids happy” and it stopped me in my tracks. I mean, making sure someone else is happy is a tall order (and might I mention impossible), but so many parents assume that role. I know I did. If happiness isn’t the goal, what is?

Stephanie: Yes, I can totally relate. It’s so natural to assume that responsibility. But once you acknowledge that it’s an impossible task and start focusing on the things you do have control over, a huge weight lifts.

Stephanie’s Tips:

Give them power over their decisions, even the wrong ones.
If kids are fighting you to put on shoes or a raincoat, once I said, “Okay, don’t wear shoes” or “Okay, don’t wear a raincoat” and when they felt the direct consequences of their decision, they were able to make better decisions in the future
Give them agency over their success and failures

Ex. not checking homework -- allowing the teacher to build a direct relationship with the student and hold them accountable
Support them as they experience a full range of emotions
You can’t control their feelings -- sadness, elation and disappointment are all part of life, so instead help them develop tools to be able to cope with these emotions
Build resilience

Episode Links:

WEBSITE: LearnWithHomer.com

INSTAGRAM: @learnwithhomer

FACEBOOK: /learnwithhomer

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices