Terrible Book Club
185 episodes - English - Latest episode: 7 days ago - ★★★★ - 46 ratingsJoin Chris & Paris every other Tuesday to discover if you really can judge a book by its hideous cover, bad title, or weird synopsis.
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Episodes
Episode 44 - Small Town Cop/Big City Crimes {A Man, His Dogs and a Badge} by Darrell Day
November 13, 2018 05:00 - 1 hour - 99.7 MBDon't be fooled! Darrel Day didn't write this - or even edit it, apparently - he just put it on the internet for his friend, Terry Bandemer. Which is fine! It's nice to help your friend put out their book - but why put your name on it as the author when you didn't write it? This is Terry's autobiography. It's generic non-fiction; just a look at a random man's life as a K9 officer in Minnesota between the 1960s-2000s. It's written in first person perspective and would be fine if Terry had g...
Episode 43 - Crabs: The Human Sacrifice: Book 6 in the Crab Series by Guy N. Smith
October 29, 2018 04:00 - 54 minutes - 62.7 MBHappy Halloween! Enjoy this episode one day early as a treat from the Terrible Book Club. Crabs - The Human Sacrifice was suggested by reddit user dickdastardly and voted on by listeners as a spooky book for October. Content warning! This episode contains discussion and graphic descriptions of: blood, bleeding, crabs, cutting, disease, dismemberment, drugs, masturbation, ritual sacrifice, sexual assault, regular 'ol consensual sex, generalized violence against human and animals, & weapon...
Episode 42 - Betrayed (House of Night Book #2) by Kristen Cast & P.C. Cast
October 16, 2018 04:00 - 1 hour - 105 MBFar away and 40 books ago, we read Marked, the first book in the House of Night Series by mother-daughter duo Kristen & P.C. Cast. It was the second book we read for the podcast and the first book we threw across a room (that's not an exaggeration). Today, we've decided to return to the House of Night for a second helping of outrageous caricatures of teenagers trapped within a love rhombus - just in time for the Halloween season! This time, our main protagonist has the option of THREE card...
Episode 41 - Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll *Patron's Choice*
October 02, 2018 13:46 - 1 hour - 116 MBOur Patron Veronica chose this book as her once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to get this and other rewards for yourself. We've got a real intro now! Let us know what you think. Things get serious on TBC this week. This episode is not terribly funny and we've got some content warnings for you: eating disorders (anorexia), exercise disorders, alcohol, weapons, violence, & sexual assault/rape. Luckiest Girl Alive tries to expose the nuance and neurosis of growing up as a wo...
Episode 40 - The Angel Wore Fangs (Deadly Angels Series #7) by Sandra Hill
September 18, 2018 14:02 - 1 hour - 97 MBThis book feels like the author created a massive dartboard where each section was a completely random idea or topic, put on a blindfold, threw darts, and chose what she would put in the book based on where those darts landed. If any of you are or know someone who is an expert on Old Norse, Old English, or Middle English, Paris wants to talk to you because she has some linguistic bones to pick with this book. This is a haphazard tale of time travel, chefs, vikings, angels, vampires, demo...
Episode 39 - Antibodies: An X-Files Novel by Kevin J. Anderson
September 04, 2018 04:00 - 1 hour - 93.5 MBThis time, we read an X-Files novel sanctioned by Chris Carter and it was just as pulpy as we expected. If you miss Mulder, Scully, and their crazy case files, you should check out this episode. Topics include nanotechnology, a very particular form of animal testing, and a special segment about Paris's dreams!
Episode 38 - Johnny Tremain by Esther Forbes *Special Guests D & Ken from Antiques Freaks*
August 21, 2018 04:00 - 1 hour - 85.9 MBSince this book takes place 200 years in the past, we figured we needed some experts on old stuff! D & Ken from Antiques Freaks join us this week to read Johnny Tremain. D helps us understand silversmithing while Ken defends his doctoral thesis on Johnny's homosexuality. Throughout it all, Paris is inebriated and at the limits of functionality; Chris wishes this episode ended 30 minutes ago.
Episode 37 - Lawfully Challenged: Inspirational Christian Contemporary: A K-9 Lawkeeper Romance by Ginny Sterling
August 07, 2018 13:28 - 1 hour - 74 MBCops that are dogs and dogs that are cops co-star in this sex-less Christian romance with an unreasonably long title! This story tries to cash in on the cross section of people who are Christian, fetishize men in uniform, and are really into dogs.
Episode 36 - Too Far by Rich Shapero
July 24, 2018 14:05 - 1 hour - 88.7 MBAh, yes - remember being in love so fiercely that you disobeyed your parents, ran naked through the forest all evening, worshiped nature gods, and contacted the multiverse when you were SIX YEARS OLD? No? Yeah...probably not. Rich Shapero takes us on another drug fueled romp through the wilds of Alaska in this successor to Wild Animus, except this time the main characters are two six year old children. While this tale is pretty weird and there are major problems with the children's dialo...
Episode 35 - Woman Worship by Dean Jean-Pierre
July 10, 2018 16:00 - 50 minutes - 58 MBIf you're tired of plots and characters, this episode was made just for you! This time we read a book of poetry loosely held together by western gender norms, redundancy, and poor word choices. Paris reveals her theory about the hidden message behind these poems that will blow the lid off of everything you ever thought was true about Woman Worship by Dean Jean-Pierre! Luckily, Chris and Paris are finally rescued by the spirit of Pablo Neruda after suffering through a heat index of 104 to rec...
Episode 34 - The Stain of Time V2: More Than A Trent Reznor Biography by Remanon Last
July 01, 2018 14:33 - 1 hour - 81 MBHave you ever really liked a band? Have you ever liked a band so much that you thought you found evidence in their lyrics that their frontman had lived previous lives and a demon helped you figure it out? Well hey, so did this author! This book IS arguably a biography of Trent Reznor and sort of Nine Inch Nails, but is also an argument about the validity of past lives and the existence of demons on other planes who tell you stories via swinging rocks. Topics in this episode include Nine ...
Episode 33 - The Betrayal (Fear Street Saga #1) by R.L. Stine
June 21, 2018 15:22 - 47 minutes - 54.9 MBBurning witches, evil dads and uncles, more foreshadowing than one could ever need, the most obviously evil necklace of all time, and - of course - unrequited love all rear their heads in this one! Paris has been binging the Goosebuds podcast and was inspired to get spooky for Episode 33! Chris and Paris return to childhood to read the first installment in the Fear Street Saga series that explains how and why Fear Street came to be the supernatural hot spot we all remember fondly from R.L....
Episode 32 - Crawfish, Baby!! by Duncan More
June 13, 2018 22:43 - 48 minutes - 56.4 MBCan we interest you in some crawfish? Perhaps other types of seafood? Some jazz? How about some gay erotica? If you answered "yes" to any or all of these questions, you'll love this 30 page short story that masquerades as a book! Thanks (?) to D from Antiques Freaks for alerting us to the existence of this...thing. Disclaimer: We're not usually SFW, but this episode contains graphic descriptions of sexual activity so it's a bit more over-the-top than usual even for Terrible Book Club.
Episode 31 - Lands of the Earthquake by Henry Kuttner & Under A Dim Blue Sun by Howie K. Bentley
June 04, 2018 02:48 - 1 hour - 108 MBThis time we read a short, double feature book with two fantasy/sci-fi novellas that were packaged together for seemingly no apparent reason: Lands of the Earthquake by Henry Kuttner Under A Dim Blue Sun by Howie K. Bentley Are they together because Howie Bentley really loved Kuttner and wanted to publish his stories again posthumously? Is it because they both have humanoid cat men? We'll probably never know. Check out our Instagram for images of the covers on these things. Thanks to...
Episode 30 - Two Truths, A Lie, & Magic Rocks (...Also With Lies)
May 29, 2018 01:16 - 1 hour - 74.8 MBIn this in-between books episode, it's game time! Chris read a guide/miniature self-help book called Chakra Crystals by Kate Tomas about meditation and magical rocks and Paris tries to guess what each crystal is supposed to mean and what chakras are. We learn that crystals are alive and can be enslaved to your needs - neat! Meanwhile, Paris has curated a game of Two Truths & A Lie with 6 categories of books where Chris must guess which titles and summaries are real and which ones Paris m...
Episode 29 - Swamplandia! by Karen Russell *Special Guest Laura Filippi*
May 21, 2018 01:07 - 1 hour - 76.7 MBThis time on Terrible Book Club, we read a book that wasn't truly terrible! Wow! It happened! We also have special guest Laura Filippi on to educate us about Florida, alligator farms, and alligator wrestling! Paris & Chris talk about their first piece of negative fan mail! Ultimately, Swamplandia! has some issues, but overall it was not painful to read, the characters speak like genuine human beings, and the story was intriguing and different! Issues discussed include how likely it w...
Episode 28 - Crossing Over: The Stories Behind the Stories by John Edward
April 21, 2018 20:59 - 1 hour - 113 MBEpisode 28 is all about ghosts, mediums, and how Long Island seems to be some kind of breeding ground for psychics. If you're a skeptic of supernatural phenomenon or have ever wondered about the John Edwards and Sylvia Browns of the world, this episode is for you. Oh and, uh, Paris & Chris just want you to know that you have a great need for other people to like and admire you and even though you have a tendency to be critical of yourself, you have a great deal of unused capacity which you...
Episode 27 - Dragon Prince by Melanie Rawn *Patron's Choice*
April 01, 2018 04:13 - 1 hour - 93 MBOur Patron Dari chose this book as her once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to browse our reward structure and consider donating. Dragon Prince is a basic fantasy novel with medieval internet on light beams, dragon mating details, minor dragon ecology, and mostly decent dialogue. The book is divided into two sections and the latter section is where things take a turn for the terrible. This book does have a rape scene and we discuss it briefly, so be aware of that. If you haven'...
Episode 26 - You Suck! by Christopher Moore
March 05, 2018 06:19 - 1 hour - 88 MBYou Suck! was given to Paris as a Secret Santa gift (thanks, Coty!) The book has some issues, but ultimately it's a crass and somewhat amusing parody of the ever popular vampire romance novel. Listen to this one if you want to hear us talk about the book for 45 minutes and then ramble on about various other things for another 30 (we really went off topic on this one - eh, it was late and we were a bit tired).
Episode 25 - Audubon's Watch by John Gregory Brown
February 13, 2018 01:10 - 59 minutes - 67.7 MBBirds. Watches. Tits. These are things that old men from the 1800s love to talk about. Or, at least famous ornithologist John James Audubon liked to talk about, according to author John Gregory Brown? If you're into historical "fiction" inspired by some dude reading a diary entry that must have insinuated a love of boob sucking, then this book is for you, you weirdo. BIRDS.
Episode 24 - Melanie's Marvelous Measles by Stephanie Messenger
December 18, 2017 03:29 - 40 minutes - 46.5 MBEpisode 24 tackles the anti-vaccination phenomenon. Melanie's Marvelous Measles was written by an anti-vaxxer author so parents could easily indoctrinate their children and get them severely ill, injured, or killed with warped ideas based on a misinterpretation of data and science! Topics include outrage, trying to wrap our minds around anti-vax logic, and a description of the "illustrations" in this thing. We don't really want to call the work a "book" or the images "illustrations" since ...
Episode 23 - Ho Tactics: How to Mindf*ck a Man into Spending, Spoiling, & Sponsoring by G.L. Lambert
December 02, 2017 01:08 - 1 hour - 93.7 MBFor November, we read a self-help book to help us become smart hos! G.L. Lambert has created the ultimate guide to being a sociopathic fraud winner! Read his book and get your rent paid by stalking wealthy men and lying constantly! **NSFW - do not listen to this at work or around people under 18 because there's a lot of swearing and sexual content**
Episode 22 - Stone of Tears by Terry Goodkind (Sword of Truth Series Book #2) *Special Guest TJ Allen*
October 27, 2017 05:21 - 1 hour - 135 MBOur first sequel. Sexy nuns. Demon dicks. Naked horseback riding. All this and more can be found in Terry Goodkind's Stone of Tears, the second book in the Sword of Truth series. In Episode 22 of the Terrible Book Club, Paris and Chris return to the Midlands with a special guest! TJ was the one who recommended we read this series in the first place, so we figured we should have him along to explain himself. We recommend that you listen to Episode 3 that deals with the first book in the S...
Episode 21 - Monster Hunter International by Larry Correia
September 19, 2017 00:09 - 1 hour - 124 MBEpisode 21 is brought to you by vampires, pistols, werewolves, sub-machine guns, boobs, automatic rifles, orcs, elves in trailer parks, RPGs, hulking Liefeld drawings come to life, more guns, and names based on guns. Hope you like guns and locally sourced vampire feed! Monster Hunter International takes Men in Black to a ... different level. Technical note: Paris sounds weirdly muffled in this one. We think it's because this was the first day she set up her home recording stuff since m...
Episode 20 - Murder Gone A-Rye by Nancy J. Parra
August 04, 2017 01:35 - 1 hour - 106 MBChris & Paris learn that a gluten-free themed murder mystery book exists. Naturally, they couldn't resist reading such a bizarrely specific thing. Topics discussed include people who "don't-have-celiac-but-are-intolerant-to-gluten', plots that ultimately make no damn sense, and the objectification of men.
Episode 19 - Dark Star: Confessions of a Rock Idol by Creston Mapes
July 11, 2017 18:07 - 1 hour - 108 MBThis book has evangelical Christianity, drugged out rock stars, squeaky villains, and FREEDOM. Have you ever wanted to be converted to a religion by a crazy child fan who has written to you obsessively for nearly 20 years? And then marry her? Dark Star is definitely for you.
Episode 18 - Aeon Legion: Labyrinth by J.P. Beaubien
May 09, 2017 21:07 - 1 hour - 96.3 MBWhen a book opens with a Nazi coming through a time portal in a library in the year 2000, it's easy to assume that the book will be pretty bad. Somehow, though, Aeon Legion: Labyrinth jumps through time to convince us that it is less than great, but not quite terrible. Thanks to TBC listener Anya for the recommendation!
Episode 17 - Holy Cow by David Duchovny
April 04, 2017 20:56 - 1 hour - 75.6 MBDavid Duchovny is a female, teenage cow with a surprisingly good grasp on technology. In Holy Cow, he leads us on a journey through factory farming, Jewish stereotypes, and the Israel-Palestine conflict.
Episode 16 - Sleeping with the Fishes by Mary Janice Davidson
February 28, 2017 18:38 - 1 hour - 87.4 MBDive with us into the cesspool of Boston Harbor where mermaids make out! Explore an aquarium imagined by someone who was there one time!
Episode 15 - The Art of the Deal by Donald Trump & Tony Schwartz
January 28, 2017 15:48 - 1 hour - 160 MBChris wakes from his coma into a world of unprecedented horror.
Episode 14 - Moon People by Dale M. Courtney
October 18, 2015 16:00 - 54 minutes - 63 MBOur 14th episode! Our current book is almost 800 pages, so it's taking us a bit longer than usual to read this one. For now, enjoy the last episode we put out before our hiatus. We've risen from the dead just in time for Halloween. In this episode, we begrudgingly go to space and we don't even meet people from the moon. This book short story disappointed in length, content, and execution. It brings shame to the science fiction genre. The English language is warped and twisted by the va...
Episode 11 - Maradonia and the Seven Bridges by Gloria Tesch
July 18, 2015 16:00 - 1 hour - 129 MBAlthough not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to this episode along with the other Maradonia episodes in the following order: Episode 11 - Maradonia and the Seven Bridges Episode 62 - Maradonia and the Escape from the Underworld Episode 63 - Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir Episode 86 - The Secret of Moon Lake Episode 87 - Maradonia and the Law of Blood We've returned to the fantasy realm with the first book in the Maradonia saga. It was written by a child/teenager. I know...
Episode 03 - Wizard's First Rule (Sword of Truth Series Book #1) by Terry Goodkind
March 30, 2015 16:00 - 1 hour - 111 MBOur third episode.
Episode 2 - Marked (House of Night Book #1) by Kristin Cast & P.C. Cast
March 20, 2015 16:00 - 1 hour - 94.5 MBIn Episode Two, we begrudgingly drag ourselves through a sea of teen angst, slut shaming, poorly designed facial tattoos, and racial stereotyping in Kristin & P.C. Cast's Marked. Come, join us in our misery. Content Warnings: The usual barnyard language, bloodplay, sex, and race/racism. If you'd like to return to the House of Night with us for the sequel to this book, head to Episode 42 - Betrayed (House of Night Book #2) by Kristen Cast & P.C. Cast
Episode 1 - The Overton Window by Glenn Beck with Kevin Balfe, Emily Bestler, and Jack Henderson
March 13, 2015 16:00 - 1 hour - 111 MBThis one is for all of you who love conspiracies, chicken-and-waffles, and hot office temps. This was the first episode of Terrible Book Club that originally came into the world on Mar 13, 2015. We even did an ad for The Color of Air podcast!