Puzzle Pieces #5 When Your Buttons Get Pushed

These once in a while episodes are concepts Bonnie has developed over the years that she discusses and ponders with her producer, Adam. They are critical pieces needed to fit together to form the big picture of a connected family. It’s when some of these pieces are missing that parents feel the most frustrated and drained in their attempts at controlling their children. Finding their places in the puzzle can be life changing.

Steps to take after a  button-pushing incident. Do this work when you’re calm.

 1.  Recognize that your buttons are yours. Own them.   

2.   Write down your reactions. Did you yell, threaten? What did you do?

3.   Write your emotions. Did you feel hopeless, enraged, resentful, etc?

4.    What are the assumptions you made? Ask yourself, If I felt that way, what must I have been thinking?

5.   Identify your assumptions and know they are not the truth; they are your perceptions.

6.   Reframe your assumptions by stating facts of the situation or a different perception that leads to more compassion.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents.
Website: bonnieharris.com
All books, products, and services  can be purchased here: https://bonnieharris.com/shop/

Books:           
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)           
Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With

Audio Books:           
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons           
Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With

The Buttons Audio Course (includes workbook)
Counseling/Coaching


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com