TEATIME TUESDAYS

Toxici-Tea (tox·ic·i·ty)

According to one online dictionary, there are 13 definitions for the word toxic. Most of which are derivatives of poison. So essentially, what we're doing when we hold on to our unhealthy traits is the equivalent of scattering droplets of contaminants as we do when setting traps for rodents. We are purposefully and intentionally (whether you admit it or not) destroying whatever we come in contact with. So if you are out here staying toxic even after being told, then fam, you're selfish, trap...

Sal-Tea (salt·y)

I remember reading somewhere that you can't be salty and single. Immediately my melanin neck roll ensued, followed by the appropriate "Ooh really now?" dose of sarcasm. Now, what was more real than the statement itself was that at that moment, I wasn't ready to face the truth of what that conversation would reveal. That admission suddenly made me aware that being salty is usually birthed in insecurity and nourished by fear.

Sal-Tea (salt·y)

I remember reading somewhere that you can't be salty and single. Immediately my melanin neck roll ensued, followed by the appropriate "Ooh really now?" dose of sarcasm. Now, what was more real than the statement itself was that at that moment, I wasn't ready to face the truth of what that conversation would reveal. That admission suddenly made me aware that being salty is usually birthed in insecurity and nourished by fear.

Audaci-Tea (au·dac·i·ty)

It's these would be insignificant facts that made me remember one thing. The more I learn, the less I know. Yet, for most of my life, 'I' had the audacity to think I knew more than I really do. Could no one tell me nothing! This, of course, played out in several intervals during my life. First, as a teenager, when I wanted to defy parental rules. Then in the workplace, when I couldn't stand being corrected, especially openly. But more predominantly in relationships where I thought I was the ...

I said "Yes" to the D.R.E.S.S!

Yikes! So many decisions, so little time. Should I really wear white, or should I choose a hue, less colourful than my past?  Timeless lace or sparkling crystals? A chignon, soft-curls or my signature cut? An empire waist, a princess cut or ball gown? Train or no train, veil or no veil? In a garden or a church? Spring or Fall?  Roses or lilies? Morning or afternoon? A reception or nah? An entourage or the faithful few? Open seating or arranged seating? No garter and bouquet toss, or should I...

Single Is the New Black

Before you think I've been around the world and still can't find my baby (if you miss that, you too young), know that some of these attributes belong to the same person. On the flip side of that, I have single gal-pals, single mom friends, divorced friends, single never been married friends, and then, there is my seasoned and married crew. Meanwhile, I'm here being at peace and seeing the good in what I deem my devastating bad breaks. Still, I can't help but mull over things some folks don't...

Busy Doing Nothing

Captin's Log: pre-pandemic—when everyone was busy, and life was fast-paced, and calendars everywhere were booked and busy. Almost no time to meditate or give careful consideration before life-altering decisions were made. Everything impulsive, powered by the need for instant gratification. People were obsessed with the all mighty dollar—working excessively long hours, just to make more money, to purchase more things they'll essentially have no time to enjoy. Yet somehow, even that was not en...

Busy Doing Nothing

Captin's Log: pre-pandemic—when everyone was busy, and life was fast-paced, and calendars everywhere were booked and busy. Almost no time to meditate or give careful consideration before life-altering decisions were made. Everything impulsive, powered by the need for instant gratification. People were obsessed with the all mighty dollar—working excessively long hours, just to make more money, to purchase more things they'll essentially have no time to enjoy. Yet somehow, even that was not en...

On Your Marks, Get Set...wait, I Wasn't Ready!

Ahh, yes! We've officially entered the 'New Year, New Me' season. We dedicate this special time of year to deleting people from our Facebook friends list and blocking numbers in our contact list. Let's not forget setting yet another weight loss journey goal and my all-time favourite, the laundry list of New Year 'I wrote it cause it sounds deep,' Resolutions. To me, ringing in a New Year often feels like that moment when I finally learn to manoeuvre through the latest iOS updates, and then A...

Guest: The AviationZ Podcast | Topic: Dating

Aviation United By AviationZ chatted with Author, Blogger, Ghostwriter Raquel Sherron about Dating. Raquel chats about her background, and is there a perfect date? What to expect on a date or a first date, Online dating apps, why do we always see the positives on dating apps (pictures, career, hobbies) and rarely the negative? She discusses what ghosting is and why it can happen?  Is dating too much hassle, and is it better to concentrate on your own needs, and is it possible to be happy si...

How I let the Grinch Steal My Christmas!

"Oh, the Who-Manity!" in my best Grinch voice. No, I'm not gonna draw some mind-blowing parallel to Whoville, where Cindy-Lou Who resides. On the other hand, I would like to take you walking through Whoville, where all the Whos are allowed to steal our happiness, leaving us all Grinchy, and we never understand why!

Winter is Coming!

Even if you're not a die-hard GOT fan, you've probably heard the phrase "Winter is Coming." It is the watchword of the House Stark, which is one of the great houses of Westeros—or so I've read. A mantra of sorts aimed to remind the house not to think of life as a beach where you sip bottomless Mai Tai's while being kissed by the sun but to be constantly vigilant. Winter—for many, is synonymous with Christmas. And though we sing about it being the most 'wonderful' time of the year, winter ten...

Home Alone 2: Lost in the Big Apple

How in the pa-rum-pum-pum-pum did Kevin end up in the same situation one year later? Honestly, who am I to judge? I've realized I'd been asking myself that same question at least a dozen times per year. 

Home Alone 1

If there was ever a phrase that suited me to-a-T, it would have to be when Kevin Mclasiter said to his mom, "This house is so full of people, it makes me sick! When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone!" Married but alone, huh? Interesting concept. At some point in life, we perhaps were all so fed-up with our family that we wished they would all disappear. But true to form, in an ironic twist of fate, those Wet Bandit's would be right there. Lurking through the windows of our souls, w...

The Pivot is 0% Procrastination, 100% Application.

I hate to admit it, but I might have been a bit of a mean girl as I roamed the halls of my high school in the early '90s.  It took me a long time to say that aloud because I had somehow convinced myself it was me surviving the battle of the fittest.  I learned late in life that you don't have to be rude to express your opinion, and being aggressive doesn't necessarily represent your strength.   If you need to step on other people to make yourself feel good, then that's a surefire sign that ...

Maybe Suited for Mature Audiences Only!

I'm sure you thought I was gonna be here talking bout women and reproduction. Nah, come on, you know better than that. I'm never talking about what I'm actually talking about. Well, maybe a little bit. All I know is Benny Hill was on to something when he said, "Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?"

His & Hers

Look, it's not so much that there are bad men as much as you've just made bad choices in men and vice versa. When it comes to 'his and hers,' one item is meant for the male and the other the female. Only now, with the aroma of equality in the air, 'his and hers' are seen more apart than together.

The Soup That Eats Like a Meal

Back in my day, Campbell's Soup bought out a new line of what they called Chunky Soup. These more giant cans of extra-plump ingredients boasted of being so hearty that it can be as filling as having a full course home-cooked meal. The thing is, the mixture is so thick and beefy that although it's a soup typically eaten with a spoon, it's so rich it could also be eaten with a fork. In relationship terminology: Get you a girl that can do both!

The Soup That Eats Like a Meal

Back in my day, Campbell's Soup bought out a new line of what they called Chunky Soup. These more giant cans of extra-plump ingredients boasted of being so hearty that it can be as filling as having a full course home-cooked meal. The thing is, the mixture is so thick and beefy that although it's a soup typically eaten with a spoon, it's so rich it could also be eaten with a fork. In relationship terminology: Get you a girl that can do both!

Are you a 'Trick' or a 'Treat'?

Curiosity got me thinking about where the phrase 'trick or treat' came from. While there are many tales out there, I came across one that took my train of thought in a whole other direction.  The phrase is a subtle suggestion that if a "treat" (candy) is given, then the child will not perform a "trick" (mischief) on the owner of the house. Hmmm, interesting, right? More than the 'trick' or the 'treat,' the word child stands out to me. It screams, "Give me what I want (frills and thrills), or...

Bet You Wished You Liked the Nice Guy Now, Huh?

Even now, in the still of the most nights, as articles dance around in my head, so does the nagging question of, "what if?" That one question that plagues many and taunts us into believing we've missed some golden opportunity. I say, why not flip the script on that thinking? What if your moving out of position was the other person's opportunity to dodge a bullet? What if you acting a plump fool was their blessing in disguise? Sometimes, the benefit is for the antagonist (the villain of the s...

Stand-Back & Stand By

Sidebar: There is a caveat to Standing back. It is not only a process by which you look for flaws. It's also about seeing what is right in front of you. Stepping back helps you recognize the gift in what you already have, why you should be grateful and clues you in on how to ensure your grass always stays green!

Hi Haystack, I'm Needle!

After reading the message, I was immediately reminded of the phrase, ".....it's like finding a needle in a haystack." The old cliche suggests it's nearly impossible to find something that small, lost or hidden (you) in something relatively that enormous (the world). You see, that was how I lived my life. No matter how many stages I graced, or how many microphones I stood behind, a large part of me never felt good enough to be there. Isn't that how most of us see ourselves, though? Who me? I'...

My Truth, Their Truth, The Truth: Learn the Difference!

Please raise your right hand: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you, God?  Response: I do! If you've never been in a court of law, then you have at least seen this scenario play out on screen in some tv drama. But in these here streets, people swear by any extreme to get the other party to believe what they are saying to be true. Rhetoric like: I'll put my hand on the Bible! On God! On my mama! On my kids, on my life even, has said everyone, ...

Love It or List It

When individuals encounter you, are they moved to put you into escrow (let's call that engagement), which they'll be moved to close (let's call that marriage)? Or are you what they consider a foreclosure (you fail to met obligations), and they are forced to keep looking? Are you considered a starter home (girlfriend) or a forever (dream) home (a wife)? Will they find you too much of a liability because you've not been upgraded in the last 20 years? Or will they conclude that you have good bo...

Even Good Guys Do Bad Things!

DMX asked a very pertinent question in his song Good Girls, Bad Guys. "Why do (good girls) like bad guys, knowin' that bad guys tell mad lies?" What's even funnier than the irony of the question is that we get mad when they do. Logically speaking, you can't be angry at someone who does precisely what they already told you they'd do. Or can you?

Even Good Guys Do Bad Things!

DMX asked a very pertinent question in his song Good Girls, Bad Guys. "Why do (good girls) like bad guys, knowin' that bad guys tell mad lies?" What's even funnier than the irony of the question is that we get mad when they do. Logically speaking, you can't be angry at someone who does precisely what they already told you they'd do. Or can you?

Life Can Be Merry, but It Shouldn't Keep Going 'Round!

Doing the same thing repeatedly and then expecting a different result is known as insanity. So what should we call doing the same thing over and over already knowing the outcome? I suppose it's what my Bahamian peeps call being the conch! Conch, a cultural food staple, is usually beaten with a mallet before cooking-depending on the dish. Using a 'lil elbow grease, this Mollusca is pounded until it is thin and almost mangled, so it becomes extra tender in the stewing process. I reckon sometim...

To Ride or Die is The New High

To Ride or Die is The New High

Waiting is NOT for Imposters!

If Broken Crayons Still Colour, How Come No One Picks 'Em?

Recently, for some odd reason, I keep seeing the caption—"broken crayons still colour."  For a long time, I too subscribed to this notion that its okay to be broken and functional. I now see this phrase in a whole new light, as it suggests to me that in your broken state, you're still effective. The lie detector determines THIS IS A LIE! Contrary to popular belief, while some broken things still work, don't be fooled, they do not operate at full capacity. Obviously, since people have a tende...

Whoever Told You Life Is Not a Fairytale, Lied!

Evil step-sisters, wicked queens, big-bad wolves, little boys who lie, a beast, 'thee' prince charming, talking animals, the trickster masquerading as a gentleman, I mean the list of relatable characters goes on. Sarcasm aside, have you seriously ever considered the storyline of a fairytale? There is some seriously twisted stuff that happens! The kind of things that ironically have an identical parallel to real life. I mean just downright discouraging. Just like a fairytale, real life-is spr...

Why I've Stopped Calling Bad Choices, Mistakes.

Social Distancing: Hands in the Air, it's a Stick-up (Part 2)

Going outside your house these days without a mask can almost get you charged with indecent exposure. Everything is such a mood that we can no longer tell the difference between regular folk, erring on the side of caution, versus those who wish to exploit this dilemma for personal gain. As if it's not bad enough that we have been ordered to stay indoors ("Yay," screams all the introverts), we are now required to stand 6-feet apart to minimize physical contact. We not singing Diana Ross', 'Re...

Social Distancing: The New Flat Tummy Tea (Part 1)

....But That's What You Asked For. Why You Mad?

Olivia Pope, cannot 'it's handled' your life to normalcy. Unfortunately, you can't swipe left on your problems to make them vanish, and you can't put a filter on your issues to make them look cute and flawless. Iyanla Vanzant may be able to muster an excellent tear-jerking conversation, but even she, nor anyone for that matter, can't 'fix' what isn't acknowledged.

Y.O.L.O - You Obviously Lyin' or.....Nah?

In 2011, I caught fire. Yes, I mean, I was going up in flames, while doing a rather typical everyday task.  One that I had done at least a thousand times before. Simply cooking dinner. Maybe I'll tell you guys all the gory details some other time. But for now, more than the fire itself,  I want to delve into the aftermath. As my bandages were being changed every couple of days, three things about that routine stood out to me.  Firstly, the process was embarrassing. Secondly, it was painful. ...

Your 'Feelings' Have a Name but it Ain't Judas!

"What you talkin' bout Willis?" I'm so glad you asked. I use to think that my feelings betrayed me. I use to think when I needed them to be contained, they spewed out like hot lava, when a volcano erupts. After I pulled a scene and calmed down, no matter how much I apologised, that image of me acting the fool was etched in the mind of that individual. I'm sure someone out there has updated my name to 'skitzo' in their contact list. On the heels of the Easter season, I think it's safe to say ...

If the Roof is on Fire, of Course you Need Water, Silly?

I know people of my pigmentation and churchgoers alike, may never agree, but hear me when I say this, "Therapy is NOT only for the person that just flew over the cuckoo's nest!" Okay, let's level--if you have a heart condition, you’d fly your tail to a cardiologist simply because he specializes in that, right? Well jumpin' Jehoshaphat, why won't you go to see someone that specializes in helping you fix your broken emotions? No, you'd rather be out here spewing toxic juice on people, like bei...

Date, Break-up, Repeat - The Single Girl Insanity

Can somebody, anybody, please tell me how to play the hand you're dealt, in the relationship game of life? I can't even count the number of incidences that had me on the perpetual date, break-up, and make-up merry-go-round. I nearly pulled every strand of hair from my head, and if you know me that's already very little hair. Ultimately, all I wanted to do was look up to the sky and scream, "God, that's enough already!" What kind of luck could I have possibly had to keep repeating the same re...

All Relationships are NOT Created Equal

So, rumour had it that Idris told R n' B Singer K. Michelle, he could never be committed to just one woman. Then low and behold, People's Magazine 2018's Sexist Man Alive turned around and not only committed to a different woman but even gave that sista his last name. He met his now-wife in 2017, was engaged to her by 2018 and sealed the deal in 2019.  I'll tell you (and as bad as it may sound) it was a smidgen comforting to know situations like this don't just happen to us, regular people. ...

All Relationships are NOT Created Equal

So, rumour had it that Idris told R n' B Singer K. Michelle, he could never be committed to just one woman. Then low and behold, People's Magazine 2018's Sexist Man Alive turned around and not only committed to a different woman but even gave that sista his last name. He met his now-wife in 2017, was engaged to her by 2018 and sealed the deal in 2019.  I'll tell you (and as bad as it may sound) it was a smidgen comforting to know situations like this don't just happen to us, regular people. ...

Does Marriage Live-up to the Hype?

If you're reading this article in search of the answer to this question, sorry, you won't find it here. I'm single, what the heck do I know? Like you, this sister has more questions than answers. An inquiring mind wants to know what exactly is 'irreconcilable differences' and is there such a thing as 'me time' in marriage? Better yet, how much of homeslice's annoying habits does a wife endure (like if mister forgets to put down the seat) before she spazzes out and vice-versa?  But more impor...

We Might be Concerned about the Wrong Edges

By definition, an 'edge' is considered the outside limit of an object or area.  It's the place furthest from the center, that provides a border. I suppose if we translate that into relationship terminology, we can refer to 'edges' as boundaries. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm the girl that has to learn everything the hard way. I was that kid who you'd tell the stove is hot and I'd just have to touch it to see if it was as hot as you said it is.  Yes, I'm that girl and I don't...

What if I could Order a Man like Coffee?

When I was growing up, we girls prided ourselves on being sugar and spice and everything nice. While little boys were said to be made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails.  Yet while as kids, we said 'yuck' to the thought of the opposite sex, as adults, it's all we seem to crave. Though boys pulling a girl's pigtails was regarded as a sign of affection, it has morphed into something a lot less desirable-like catcalling.  Still, we've just grown into women hoping and wishing that the popul...

Your Life Ain't No Offering Pan

As the offering pan passed me and I observed what we call 'gift-giving', I smiled to myself, though I'm not sure for a good reason. I realized that sometimes 'we' can be just like that pan. Being passed from hand to hand, but not everyone, we make contact with deposits or leaves something tangible. Several thoughts raced through my mind. Chief among them was how I could begin to limit 'what' goes in and 'who' gives into my symbolic pan. Women are known as 'receivers', and what we are given i...

Your Life Ain't No Offering Pan

As the offering pan passed me and I observed what we call 'gift-giving', I smiled to myself, though I'm not sure for a good reason. I realized that sometimes 'we' can be just like that pan. Being passed from hand to hand, but not everyone, we make contact with deposits or leaves something tangible. Several thoughts raced through my mind. Chief among them was how I could begin to limit 'what' goes in and 'who' gives into my symbolic pan. Women are known as 'receivers', and what we are given i...

Why Your 'Mouth' May Not Be Ready for Marriage

We have at one time, or the other heard someone say, "I don't give two hoots what you say about me!" When I hear that, I automatically want to say, "Ah, stop lying!" Then again, I suppose it won't be fair that I think the statement is untrue for the person saying it.  All I know is this, that statement is not the case for everyone. Even when 'they' say it is. Deep down inside, we often care a little more than we'd like to admit. 

It's Not Eve's Fault Your Life is a Mess!

"You wait til' I get to heaven, I ga' tell Eve bout her........!" Hey, you! Pique down, missy! Can we please, for the love of God, let Eve rest in peace already? From the time I could tie my shoes, poor Eve has been dragged through the mud for eating the apple or whatever it was that she ate in the garden. Since before humans discovered fire, my girl has been catching flack for everything from P.M.S. to chapter 7 bankruptcy. At this point, I just want to resurrect Johnny Cochran to get the i...