Redefining Masculinity and Healing with Sean Galla

In today’s episode, I’m talking with Sean Galla, founder and facilitator at MensGroup, an organization born out of a mission to create community and conversation where guys feel comfortable sharing what’s really happening in their lives. Over 10 years ago, Sean was living what looked like a dream life from the outside, but in reality, he was facing a number of challenges and some of the lowest lows of his life. It was in this dark night of the soul that he went in search of a men’s group. After not finding any that met his needs, he created his own.

What to Listen For:

What does Sean Galla do?

“I run men's groups, for normal guys who just want to have a chat, over at mensgroup.com. I joined a men's group. I found it to be very beneficial to my life.

And when I asked my friends why they didn't want to get into it, it's because they thought they were kooky or for losers. I was like, that's weird, it feels like a tool that's for a winner. So I looked around and all these men's groups are online, doing chanting or had adopted first nations names or blowing Sage with our wings and stuff like that.

And I was like, that's cool, but I can see why people are put off by this. I can see why men find it intimidating. And there was nobody who was doing an approachable group for guys to just want to talk about their lives, not necessarily do heavy emotional work or cry and sing kumbaya or anything like that, just share what's going on and so that's what we have going on over at mensgroup.com.”

What was Sean’s like before MensGroup?

“I was living in Mexico at the time, I had fallen in love with a woman and we moved down there and what looked like a lovely life on Facebook turned into a challenging time for me, because I felt quite isolated. Even though I had friends down there I could surf with, I felt quite alone and alone with my challenges alone, with my thoughts. And, it was a beautiful time, but I realized I could use some support.”

Breaking out of a culture that makes it difficult for men to admit they need help
How Sean realized he loved the camaraderie of sharing with other men

“I was more of an, A- type kid growing up, a competitive hockey player. And I love that comradery in the dressing room and being able to talk about, stuff after the game. it's like after you'd been to battle with a guy or had shared an experience with a guy, that's when guys would open up a little bit and talk about their relationships or, talk about how to be a better father or whatever it was that they were going through.

Then after my hockey career, if you want to call it that, ended, I was out on my own. I realized there was a lack of that. And then it wasn't until I moved down to Mexico and then felt really isolated, that I realized that, wow, I really missed that.”

Getting dragged to his first men’s group by a friend and not really wanting to go
How going to a men’s group helped him break through some issues he was having in his own life

“I found it so great to just be able to bring those somewhere, that's not my partner or my family work through them and then bring the fruits of that back to my life.”

The moment that felt like the lowest low

“The lowest low for me was probably getting sick. I just burnt out. I burnt myself out. I wasn't taking care of myself. I was working too hard and trying to deal with the emotions of a breakup by chasing other women and trying to be a high-achieving person and in my career and traveling along and partying and ended up, coming down with a chronic illness.

I spent a couple of years in bed basically, and that was the lowest of low. That was the darkest of the dark. And, yeah, I reached for any tool I could to get support during that time.”

Sean gets honest about his motivations to be constantly improving

“Honestly, I'm not even sure that it comes from a good place. It could come from a place of trying to fill a void,