Coming Out, Getting Clear, and Living for Yourself with Diane Whiddon

Today, I'm talking with my dear friend, Diane Whiddon, about her coming out story. Diane has dedicated her life to inspiring entrepreneurs to listen to themselves and build the business they've always wanted. We're diving into what motivates her to do the work she does, as well as taking a deeper look at who she was before stepping onto her purpose path and the rough road that brought her to where she is today. We're pulling back the curtain on everything from an upbringing that taught her to mask and people please to discovering she's a lesbian to the clarity and authenticity she pours into her life and business now.

What to Listen For:

Who was Diane Whiddon before?

"I learned at a really young age to read the room and see what other people were doing, constantly like taking litmus tests of how do I need to be, how can I solve your needs and make you okay and support you emotionally, but then like what's even safe for me to experience and express in this space?"

Accomplishing a lot, and still feeling miserable
The series of events that lead to her dark night of the soul

"I had gotten divorced, and I was running my website design company, which is how I got my start online. A couple of things happened. So one of the first things that happened, it's so weird. Google changed their search results. So one of the things that happened was if you Googled website design for authors, I was number one or number two, like anywhere in the world.

So I had clients globally. I had clients in Hawaii and Canada, UK, and Vietnam, and Haiti. I had clients from all over, and then, overnight, all of that search engine traffic vanished, and it was localized. And so now if you searched website design for authors in Massachusetts, I was on like page five."

Realizing she needed to pivot
Getting out there and networking in real life triggered her trauma
Not knowing enough about healing and self-discovery to handle it well

"I was thrust into this huge depression. I got extremely suicidal, and my dark night of the soul, I remember, I had this one moment where I was sitting on my couch and had been on my couch for three days. I had no idea what to do. I had no one to call to help me. I was totally alone and felt completely isolated.

My business is changing and kind of struggling. I don't know what I'm going to do to survive and be okay. And I had this moment where I lived in downtown Denver. At that time, I lived on the 11th floor. And I had this beautiful balcony and I just, I was in this horrible place, and I was like, I could just end it right now. I could just run and jump off that balcony right now and just be done with this whole place."

The thought she had at that moment that changed everything
Understanding the relationship between accountability and freedom
The power of choosing to stay

"I'm choosing this. And that made me invested in a new way. And it was the beginning of me breaking that habit of pleasing everybody else and the winning strategy of pleasing everybody else and moving into a place of if I'm the only one here, I don't live for me. What the heck do I want? What the heck is important to me?"

How asking what she wanted started her on the process of reorienting
Examining the things she wanted and the stories she told herself about why she couldn't have them
Taking a year off and reading books for healing
Realizing during this time that she's gay

"I didn't know that I was gay because I didn't know that I liked broccoli. I didn't know that I liked the color blue.

I had no concept of who I was, and that's one of the main fallouts of childhood trauma, or even being in an oppressed group that you learn that you are wrong. You're wrong. Whatever you're doing, whatever you're saying, you are wrong. Particularly your happiness is wrong. Your satisfaction is wrong.

Your joy is wrong, but you are wrong. And so you learn to just deny every single impulse and pack yo...