Stewart Pink on The Poetry Podcast

My Optician

The Poetry Podcast features a poem about the intimacy of visiting the opticians.

Man Vs Self-Checkout

This episode of The Poetry Podcast features an infuriating account of the never-ending battle between man and self-checkout where all common sense, hope and discounts are lost!

Free The Gluten!

This episode of The Poetry Podcast features my take on why we should liberate lasagna and rescue ravioli – free the gluten!

Mum's Address Book

This episode of The Poetry Podcast features a poem about, possibly the oldest thing in anyone’s house, the family address book.

Coronavirus

This week's witty ditty immortalises some of the mad and bizarre things the history books might forget when documenting the story of our battle with Coronavirus. Very much guided by the science; this is Britain's 2020, unabridged and described by yours truly.

Lockdown Limerick

This week The Poetry Podcast features a poem to lift the moods of everyone thrust back into lockdown, a lockdown limerick

Essential item, isn't it?

This week's witty ditty is a poem inspired by a man in Newport who “exposed” a loophole in the list of essential items in a welsh supermarket.

Tiers Of A Town

This week's poem is inspired by the real-life trials and tribulations from a road in Essex where half of the houses are in one tier and the other half are in another.

Library Book Returns

This week's poem is inspired by the true story of a library book checked out in 1962 and returned... 57 years late!

Oh How I Long To Be In A Conga

This week's poem is a timely reflection on one of the hardest hit victims of Covid19… the conga.

Silenced By The Lambs

This week's poem is based on a true story and one formerly featured in The Darwin Awards. It tells the horrifying yet hilarious tale of a farmer's wife who came to an abrupt end at the mercy of her own animals on a farm in Durham.

Art Heist Fail

This week's poem is based on the true and embarrassing story of an art heist that went disastrously wrong in the simplest of ways.

A Little Town Called Borja (The Legend Of The Ecce Homo)

This week's poem is inspired by the modern legend that is the Ecce Homo; the story of a less than divine intervention at the church in a little town called Borja.

War Of The Flies

In the first of a new reincarnation of this podcast we kick off The Poetry Podcast, an audiological anthology of my poems featuring a weekly "witty ditty". This week I've penned a poem inspired by the true story of a man who waged war on a fly with devastating consequences.

Baby Boris & Going Viral on International Women's Day plus "going gluten free"

This fortnight’s highlights include some hilarious contributions from the brilliant Michelle Ward and cover all the important (and not important) topics including polar bears, baby Boris, “going viral” & international women’s day plus a poem about going gluten free.

Valentines day poems, storm Ciara, my doctor and the love sausage

You sent in your poems for valentines day, we all weathered the storms and everybody enjoyed a love sausage!

I woke up and I'm 30! Falling iguanas, Jean Paul Gaultier and the US Space Force

A poem about turning 30 and the things falling from the sky in America. Speaking of the sky, what do you wear in space? 

The As Yet Untitled Rock Show with Rews & Republica

This week on the #AsYetUntitledRockShow we’re joined by Shauna Tohill from Irish rock band Rews. I caught up with Shauna during their tour supporting glam rock icons The Darkness. We talked about the tour, debut album Pyro, musical roots & songwriting (including one you won’t hear written in the back of a tour bus!) what’s coming up in 2020 PLUS up close and personal with Frankie’s cowbell… You can see Rews on The Phoenix Tour from March this year, click here for tickets and further detail...

Now You're Talking... 2019

As 2019 draws to a close I'm immensely proud of my radio endeavours and so grateful to all of my amazing guests I've had the pleasure of interviewing this year on Phoenix FM. To celebrate, here's a silly little montage of some of my favourite moments with all words taken entirely out of context. You can hear all of the full interviews on phoenixfm.com or on my other podcast "Now You're Talking"

The As Yet Untitled Rock Show of The Year 2019

This week was the big one, The #AsYetUntitledRockShow of the year! We looked back over the whole year and built a playlist out of the best of the best - some of the singles I've been absolutely loving on my rock show throughout 2019. We didn't get time for all of them but I certainly tried to squeeze in as many as I could!

The Best Movies of 2019 with Mark Searby

Every week Mark Searby joins me in the studio to give us the lowdown on the latest cinema and DVD film releases. This week we looked back over some of the best movies of 2019...  You can catch up on all of our weekly movie talks and check out more film reviews at www.phoenixfm.com.

Stew's Big Quizmas on Phoenix FM

As a man with great sideburns once said "IT'S CHRIIIIISTMAAAAAS" - a time for giving, sharing and rejoicing. So, I gathered/persuaded/tricked some of my fellow Phoenix FM presenters into giving/sharing/rejoicing in my first ever Big Quizmas. Made up of five 1 minute rounds, my Big Quizmas combines some familiar household games into a mental assault course designed to test the limits, sense of humour and patience of every brave/unsuspecting contestant. As you can imagine, it was a lot of fun!...

Halloween, Brexit deadline day, man vs self checkouts and a secret ingredient in your coffee

Halloween, Brexit deadline day, man vs self checkouts and a secret ingredient in your coffee

WILSON! Boris writes a letter, Tony wants a text, nobody wants a tea towel & Gaga stage dives...

Skating legend, Tony Hawk, kick flipped out of nowhere asking for some textual deviation - so we set our listeners on the case and before long, he was inundated with bizarre questions, butt dials and everybody replying "who dis?" to his every text. I wrote a poem about the unnamed guardian of Wilson’s Corner, unknown legend - “Wilson” and I may have mentioned Brexit a few times. Then we “sympathised” with Lady Gaga’s tumble off a Las Vegas stage, shared our surprising injuries without a cool...

National Poetry Day 2019

To celebrate National Poetry Day, we got creative with the links and I tasked our listeners with sending in some poems. Val's "New Neighbours" was an instant hit and I also pulled out one of my very own creations "Just Another Train". 

Fireman Sam, great "bulls" of fire and rockstar knitwear

This week we stood up for Fireman Sam, sympathised with Australian firefighters dodging projectiles and then Tom's Nan offered to knit me a jumper. You can also hear the full interview with Jonathan Pie on my other podcast, Now You're Talking, by clicking here.

Dave Grohl, the invincible Nokia and customer of the week

This week I may have mentioned Dave Grohl a few times. Also, there was the whole drivetime ice cream fiasco, I questioned David’s word search brag and we discussed how to combat snoring partners. Plus the invincible Nokia, the world’s smallest bikini, customer of the week and GCSE results. This week’s highlights co-star Ian Leigh and Mark Searby. If you enjoy the highlights then join in with the shows live on Phoenix FM every Saturday night from 10pm-midnight and on Thursdays and Fridays f...

Story Time with The Reverend of Rock on The As Yet Untitled Rock Show

Every Saturday night from 10pm I host The As Yet Untitled Rock Show and last week, it started like this... 

Launching the world's first EVER #FringePhoneIn

This week we launched the world’s first ever #FringePhoneIn where I’ll be chatting live on air to some of my comedy pals staring at the Edinburgh Fringe and the Camden Fringe throughout August.  You can tune in to Phoenix FM on your radio, online or via the app for the live show every Thursday and Friday afternoon from 1-3pm Alternatively, all the calls will also be available on my other podcast, "Now You're Talking" - updated every Sunday.

We can all be billionaires! (PS check your cherries)

In this week’s round up we hatched a plan to make everyone on the planet a billionaire, championed a new “check your cherries” campaign and foiled the Devonshire shark conspiracy. Plus the story of the woman banned from 6 million holiday destinations and it was all round Ed’s castle on the hill for pizza and a swim! 

Creative nicknames and a salute to the Lionesses

We dedicated a few songs to the recovering Scott Ross and then put together a playlist of songs with ladies names in the title to salute the Lionesses before and after their semifinal defeat to USA. I also asked you to share some of the creative nicknames for people you often see out and about but don’t know their names – as always you were on great form! Give this episode a listen to find out the origins of “The Fried Piper” and “John Le Pants” plus enjoy an unfolding story that all started...

Glastonbury - Festival Friday #1

It was the first of my “Festival Fridays” on Phoenix FM and we kicked off with the Mecca of the music industry, the holy grail of great music and the biggest party on earth - Glastonbury Festival. This was a special show paying homage to the legendary headliners of Glastonbury over the years. If you’ve ever wondered what all the fuss is about then this will get you up to speed on the last 48 years in 48 minutes. Amidst the all star playlist is the story of Glastonbury Festival told through th...

The Legend of The Texas Aligator, The Greedy Snake & Skatey McSkateface

We started with a wet sausage and ended with sticky nuts… just another Friday on my One2Three show. We got up to speed with the legend of the Texas alligator, questioned science itself when we talked about the snake that ate a crocodile and exclusively revealed the name of Southend’s new skate park - Skatey McSkateface. We also bopped into the weekend with cracking tunes and I even tried a new trick.

Celebrity Cabinet Members (cont.)

This is my thirteenth podcast episode and if it truly is unlucky for some then I guess Boris Johnson was one of them! He may have featured and I tried my absolute hardest not to mention Jo Brand. You also continued to name your suggestions for celebrity cabinet members putting Steve McQueen in charge of exiting the European Union, Marie Kondo as minister of interiors and Derek Trotter as International Trade Secretary among a whole host of others. 

Celebrity Cabinet Members & The One Hit Wonder World Cup Final - Drivetime Part 3

It was my last time behind the wheel of Drivetime and while the government sought a new leader, we elected our own cabinet – assigning celebrities to various cabinet roles. We unearthed some absolute gems such as Michael Parkinson for Pensions Secretary, Anthony Joshua as Defence Secretary, and Lewis Hamilton as Transport Secretary plus a whole host of others. We also had the monumental task of hosting the final of the One Hit Wonder World Cup - and Chesney Hawkes was chasing hard!

*6 minute RECAP* - The One Hit Wonder World Cup - Semifinals

This is a quick recap of the tracks that have reached the semifinal stage of the One Hit Wonder World Cup as voted by Phoenix FM listeners. You can cast your vote on the semifinals here and here until voting closes on 10th June 2019 at 3:30pm

Happy Meals, #TwitterGate and The One Hit Wonder World Cup - Drivetime Part 2

Still at the wheel of Phoenix FM’s Drivetime, I’m the replacement bus service while Ian Leigh enjoys a holiday! We take a few detours tackling World Environment Day and D Day, avoiding happy meals, and briefly boycotting Twitter. Of course, the One Hit Wonder World Cup continues too as we give away the last 4 spots in the semifinal.  I’ve split the highlights into two parts and this is part two - another 6 hours of radio condensed into just under 60mins! 

Donald Trump Top Trumps & The One Hit Wonder World Cup - Drivetime Part 1

With Mr Leigh on his holidays, I’ve been drafted into the hot seat as Phoenix FM’s Drivetime substitute for a whole week! We’ve had all the usual fun and frolics and I channeled my inner Ian to get you home with a song on your lips. We also kicked off the hotly anticipated One Hit Wonder World Cup and I may have spent a little time trolling Donald Trump! I’ve split the highlights into two parts and this is part one - 6 hours of radio condensed into just over 45mins! 

One Hit Wonder World Cup - Nominations & Draw

The show began with Michelle Ward and I demonstrating true professionalism in the face of adversity as we hid from a huge spider. Then, ahead of next week's DriveTime cover - I was collecting your nominations for the One Hit Wonder World Cup. Ian Leigh helped us to conduct the draw and so it begins - next week, we'll know who is the greatest one hit wonder of all time! To have your say in the vote for the greatest one hit wonder of all time, you'll need to follow me on twitter @StewPink

Custom Culinary Creations

Inspired by the Nutella burger that went viral on social media this week, I tasked you with sharing some of your weird and wonderful/horrible food combinations that are unique to you.  I had hoped we'd find the next "carrot cake" but, I quickly learned that most of our creations were disgusting. Still, it made for good chat... plus I have a long list of people I won't be visiting for dinner!

A Remote Control For Life & Eurovision

I found a remote control and naturally concluded that it’s a remote control for life. Then, I tasked you with submitting your requirements for a remote control for life and you certainly didn’t let me down. Together, we thought out what functions a remote control for life would need. We also did our Eurovision research amongst some great music and all the usual witty banter.

Uber Advice, Met Gala Outfits, Game of Thrones Coffee Cups & Locked iPads

I was covering the "Eat My Brunch" show from 10am-1pm on Phoenix FM, if you were tuning in for Michelle Ward, you got me instead. We covered all the hot topics; the Met Gala outfits, the man who was locked out of his iPad for 45years, the Game of Thrones extra and the Uber driver collecting life advice from every passenger. Michelle usually does a question of the day so my question to you was; if you could give one piece of advice, what would it be?

James Bond & The Russian Spy Whale

As the previous Bond girl is set to return in the new movie, we were reimagining original titles under the premise that James Bond argues with the Mrs. You came up trumps on this one with suggestions like “Dr No, Still No, How Many More Times, No” - “The Spy Who Never Loved Me” - “Gold Two Fingers” and “Diamonds Are Refundable” We also added Gene Pitney to our growing list of dubious celebrity connections and covered the bizarre story of a Russian Spy Whale.

Celebrity Connections, Bin Drama & Other Really Important Things

We started a new feature of the show, dubious celebrity connections - who do you know who knows someone famous? I also brought everybody up to speed with my adventures in the Lake District and my bin drama. I played the brand new track from Taylor Swift, made my first official announcement about Standon Calling and then pitched my latest experiment, a rock show on Tuesday nights 10pm-midnight.

Myth Busters

We covered some of this week's peculiar stories including the Swiss emergency coffee supply, Microsoft's USB revelation and a robot vacuum that caused a stir. I was also on a mission to debunk some urban myths and the things you always believed to be true. Can carrots really help you to see in the dark? Is white wine the best way to clean red wine stains and does an apple a day actually keep the doctor away?

One 2 Three - 4 April 2019

Flying solo in the studio for the first time, “unexpected things found in a place you didn’t expect to find them” was the theme of the show. I found a minion, Colchester United found a space burger, Southend Pier staff found an unexploded WW2 bomb and they were just the everyday things! If you missed it, I’ve put together a short clip with some of the best bits.

MY SECOND EVER RADIO SHOW!! One 2 Three - 4 April 2019

Flying solo in the studio for the first time, “unexpected things found in a place you didn’t expect to find them” was the theme of the show. I found a minion, Colchester United found a space burger, Southend Pier staff found an unexploded WW2 bomb and they were just the everyday things! If you missed it, I’ve put together a short clip with some of the best bits.

MY FIRST EVER RADIO SHOW! One 2 Three - 29 March 2019

In case you missed it, I’m the new kid on the block over here at Phoenix FM and I did my first ever show on Friday 29th March covering One2Three. I was playing some belting tunes, sharing some of your embarrassing workplace blunders and I told some of mine with my new boss in the room. I even got him behind the mic for the most public appraisal anyone’s ever had. Weirdest induction ever! We also had a little chat about comedy. 

One 2 Three - 29 March 2019

In case you missed it, I’m the new kid on the block over here at Phoenix FM and I did my first ever show on Friday 29th March covering One2Three. I was playing some belting tunes, sharing some of your embarrassing workplace blunders and I told some of mine with my new boss in the room. I even got him behind the mic for the most public appraisal anyone’s ever had. Weirdest induction ever! We also had a little chat about comedy. 

Stewart Pink on Phoenix FM (Trailer)