Stewart Pink on The Poetry Podcast

Any chance you'd do me a review?

After releasing my second poetry anthology "Also In The News" I wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who bought it. After landing at the top of the Amazon charts I thought I'd tell the story of what happened after the release in rhyme! You can still get your copy of the book at www.stewartpink.com.

Holy Cramp

You know when you wake up in the middle of the night and it feels like a shark has bitten your leg? Well it happened to me... and then I wrote this.

They Brought It Home

Inspired by the lionesses incredible performance both on and off the pitch during the European Championships I wanted to capture the the jubilation across the nation today and wrote a witty ditty called They Brought It Home” followed a cheeky musical montage featuring the lionesses singing at yesterday’s press conference!

The Three Second Rule

Has the cost of living crisis got you down? Don't worry, I've solved it... 

I Wish I Had The Moves

I love music and I love hitting the dance floor too. The only trouble is; I'm a terrible dancer. 

The World's Oldest Chocolate Egg

Inspired by the true story of 80 year old June, proud owner of the world's oldest chocolate egg, bought by her brother when she was 7 years old... in 1949!

Selby Leisure Centre

Inspired by the true story of a man bestowed the honour of naming Selby's new leisure centre...

World's Richest Twit

A witty ditty about a twitty

The Fray Bentos Classic

This poem is inspired by a true story from a friend of the show who recently faced that impossible challenge of trying to get into a Fray Bentos Pie that ultimately ended in broken power tools and shattered dreams/pastry!

I've Got It In Abundance (Mum)

In this special edition my mum joined the show to make an exciting radio debut and share a little unexpected positivity and a poem she wrote inspired by a recent positive experience!

Rod Stewart's Sandbags & Gladrags

This week, Rod Stewart was photographed filling the pot holes down his road so he could drive his Ferrari again. Inspired by, in homage to and entirely in honour of Sir Rod's heroic pot hole filling exploits I wrote this one in the hope he might fill a few more... I have a list, Rod. Hit me up.

Southend City

Recorded from my home in Southend and to celebrate Southend's new city status. This one's less witty and rather from the heart....  "A city built on kindness, by the people of Southend, lovingly acknowledged, as the nation’s seaside friend."

Witchy Poos and the Covid Fairy by Serena De Lastic

This edition features paramedic, mother and all-round superhero Serena De Lastic. Inspired by her patients, family and her own experience of working through the pandemic as a paramedic and in vaccination clinics, Serena has written a poem and short story. Witchy Poos and the Covid Fairy is a short illustrated story to help children with any anxieties and questions they may have around getting a vaccine.  You can hear more about the book in a full interview with Serena on my "Now You're Talk...

The Stool Sample

Inspired by the many questions anyone else who's ever had to do a stool sample will undoubtedly have wrestled with. (Don't worry, it's all quite clean.)

Burns, He Was A Rockstar

In a special edition of the poetry podcast I shared a witty ditty about the bard and in honour of Burns Night two very special listeners also wrote their own poems too!

I'm Gonna Start Cooking Flash

When it comes to cooking, I'm certainly no master chef. But since I've seen Jamie Oliver's mansion on tele I've started wishing I was!

No Vax Djokovic

The world's tennis number one has been causing a stir down under. I've changed his name for legal reasons so we'll call him No Vax Djokovic... but this is his story.

2021: Crappy And Happy

At this time of year it's good to look back at the last 12 months. From poetry competitions and publishing my first anthology to getting the Drivetime gig, being in a film and releasing a song; I'm lucky to have had a lot of little wins this year in spite of everything 2021 threw at us all. I hope this little ditty might inspire you to think about some of the events of your year and hopefully find a few things to be proud of, happy about and grateful for. Here's to an awesome, happy and heal...

Time Is An Illusion

A wise man once said "time is an illusion" - he was right. This instalment is for everyone else constantly chasing time and wondering how on earth you could possibly have lost an hour in what felt like 10 minutes. 

She's Started Carving Pumpkins

This little one is born from the fear of kids who enjoy the spirit of Halloween just a little too much!  (No little cousins were harmed during the making of this poem)

A Smell That Gets In Everywhere

This instalment was brought on by a popular washing detergent advert in which a man produces a shirt with some rather questionable stains, proceeds to clean them all off effortlessly and claims that both he and his filthy shirt came out quite literally smelling of roses.

Warriors With Ink

To celebrate #NationalPoetryDay I wrote a poem inspired by some of the other writers who have motivated me to write. I hope this will spark a little creativity in you and I would love to hear your poem!

Alvin Stardust and The Coo Ca Choo Climbing Frame

This instalment of the poetry podcast features another Arts Programme Poetry Challenge courtesy of soul deva and singing vegan mum JBRose who has come up with the following elements… Alvin Stardust, Barbados and a Climbing Frame. Enjoy!

Stewart Pink on The Poetry Podcast (Trailer)

The Modern Merry Men

This instalment of the poetry podcast features a witty ditty based on recent reports of large numbers of nudist ramblers that have taken to roaming around Sherwood Forest; the modern merry men!

The Laughing Cow Of Doxey

This instalment of the poetry podcast is based on a true story this week of the daring escape of a cow that somehow found it's way to the M6 motorway.

The Bishop Of Old Brentwood Town

I tasked the regular listeners of Phoenix FM’s Arts Programme with a little poetry challenge. I asked for 3 things; a person, a place and an object which I promised to craft into a witty ditty and share it on the arts program. We ended up with a bishop from Brentwood in a balaclava and (naturally) I took a slightly different on angle on it with a bit of an unexpected twist. 

The Sky Is Not The Limit

This instalment of The Poetry Podcast features my thoughts on this week's headlines and ultimately begs the question, do we really need two billionaires in as many weeks rocketing themselves into space right now?

A "Poem Off" featuring Robert West

After a lovely interview with fellow Phoenix FM Presenter and Poet, Robert West we decided to have a go at a "poem off" - we weren't sure what would happen and listening back, I'm still not entirely sure what did happen! However, if you have been effected by any of the issues raised in these poems or if you would like to hear more about Rob's poetry book "Words, Words, Words" visit Phoenix FM.com or click here.

Football Fever

This week's instalment features a witty ditty celebrating England's big win against Germany earlier in the week and is a riff on the football fever sweeping across a post-covid Europe!

Somewhere In The Static

For some unknown reason my TV remote has been up to some bizarre new tricks that seem to defy all logic so this week's witty ditty is based on my infrared issues lurking somewhere in the static.

Bratwurst vs Cumberland

This witty ditty is inspired by the post-Brexit sausage war that seems to have bizarrely evolved from a trade regulation stand-off with Britains European neighbours on the import and export of cold meats. The victim? Sausages.

Beware The Curse of Sports Direct

This instalment of The Poetry Podcast features a precautionary tale of my recent experience making an epic fail whilst online shopping. 

My Mum Has Just Got Spotify

This instalment of The Poetry Podcast features a witty ditty inspired by my mum’s recent exploits / battles trying to master the world of streaming. Not to give too much away but I’m not entirely sure she’s mastered all the controls yet!

Erquelinnes: Outrage At The Belgian Border

This episode features the story of a Belgian farmer who caused international outrage after he accidentally shrunk France by 7 foot when he moved an ancient stone. (Sacre Bleu)

Boy Band Seeks New Members

This instalment features a poem inspired by everything we love/hate about boy bands.

The Battle of Josh

This week's poem is a homage to Josh. THE Josh. Winner of the Josh fight that saw over 100 guys named Josh battle it out with pool noodles to determine the one true Josh. You’ll never guess who won...

Sometimes The Old Ways Are The Best

This instalment of The Poetry Podcast features 007’s housekeeper and childhood guardian, Kincade with a witty ditty on why sometimes the old ways are the best.

Ship Out Of Water: Trouble On The Nile

This week's witty ditty features the incredible tale of one man’s monumental mistake that destroyed 12% of the world’s trade… in a ship.

Pandemic Poetry: The Covid Collection

Since launching The Poetry Podcast I’ve written and shared a certified mass gathering of witty ditties and in honour of one whole year in lockdown, an anniversary none of us wanted, I’ve bundled every Coronavirus themed poem into my first ever ebook! Pandemic Poetry: The Covid Collection is now available to pre-order from the Amazon Kindle store here for a thoroughly reasonable 99p. If you’ve been enjoying our weekly witty ditty or my pandemic poems your support would be very much appreciate...

The Going Of Cummings

This week there’s breaking news of a new ebook derived from The Poetry Podcast! Pandemic Poetry: The Covid Collection is coming soon – check back here next week for more details. In preparation, this week’s poem covers the one remaining piece of the Coronavirus puzzle I haven’t written about yet – the story of one man and his quest for good eyesight.

Tron Gets 3 Points

After Gary & his daughter Jess’ kind words about The Poetry Podcast on Friday's One2Three Show, this week’s instalment is dedicated to them and was created based on Gary’s challenge of writing a poem starring Tron in a catsuit & Vix 20. Thus, “Tron Gets Three Points” was born! Click play in the box below to hear it.

He Said...

This episode of The Poetry Podcast features a poem chronicling the various things said over the last year… no names mentioned.

The Curious Case Of A Sandwich In Space

This week on The Poetry Podcast we’re saluting the astonishing achievements of NASA’s perseverance mission to Mars after it touched down on the red planet just hours ago by reliving the most infamous lunch in space history; the true story about the time a corned beef sandwich almost killed a space crew.

A Whitty Ditty

This episode of The Poetry Podcast features an ode to our chief medical officer, Professor Chris Whitty... A Witty Ditty.

Essex Police: Gotta Catch 'Em All

This week The Poetry Podcast features a poem about the recent war of words and unlikely showdown between Essex Police and Pokémon Go players.

I Woke Up and I’m 30

This week The Poetry Podcast features a poem to celebrate the wonders (and bemusement) of turning 30! 

Book Yourself A Cruise

This week the Poetry Podcast features a poem inspired by a bizarre advert I saw this week desperately trying to encourage us all to book a cruise

A Christmas Cracker

This week's witty ditty comes with a hefty dose of festive cheer and honours one of the most random and fun traditions of Christmas - the Christmas cracker and all its ingredients. I hope you enjoy it and best wishes for a "cracking" Christmas!

My Doctor

This week's witty ditty is a follow from last week's poem about My Optician. With similar vibes, this is My Doctor