How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

Friends, today's episode of Someone Gets Me is meant to inspire you, give you hope, and help give you some ideas and things to consider about setting the healthy boundaries that we need to set and learning about how to say no without feeling guilty. I have so many clients I work with individually, and we spend time learning how to set boundaries, say no, and not have guilt happen on the backend. So that's what today's episode is about. I hope it serves you and you can listen to it over and over if you want to share it with your friends, and let's help everyone have clear, healthy, meaningful boundaries that lack squishiness.

Key points covered in this episode:

✔ Your personal limits and your boundaries and your needs and your wants are valid and should be respected by you first.  So many people say I would've, but I was afraid, or I would've but I was this and that. Those excuses tell me you don't respect yourself; you don't respect your own rules of engagement in the world. It starts there. It starts with that inner work.

✔ Clarity. Be clear. Yes means yes, and no means no. If I say, no, you can push me all you want to, and I'm still going to say it because if you ask me something and I'm not sure I go think about it and pray about it and ponder some more until I have an answer, and then that's the answer. But I always reserve the right to change my mind.

✔ Remember that other people's reactions are theirs, not yours. I have watched people get upset and then the other person gets upset and it gets all crazy or conversely, everybody gets happy and they're jumping all around. Well, everybody can have all those experiences, but remember your experiences are yours and mine are mine and everybody else's is everybody else's because that's how it rolls.

✔ You want a way to increase your awareness and express yourself. You want to always be growing in your awareness and understanding. This may be through trusted mentors and friends, journaling, sharing, and setting boundaries. If you are growing and changing and evolving and moving forward in your life, expect that you are going to have a different experience as time unfolds with some of the same situations.

✔ You must have ongoing radical self-care. Your self-discovery, self-development and your desire to grow and evolve and live your vision plus all those things that are trying to emerge through you into the world are why you're here. You need to take care of yourself. You need to put on your oxygen mask first because you can't help anybody if you're not taking care of yourself.

✔ Life is fluid and it's not static. Things move and change. Just because something works today and you've made a choice today, doesn't mean that's how it's always going to be. When you are rigid, and you hold on it makes you very fragile and causes you to fall. Reserve the right to change your mind!

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