Shutdown Fullcast
717 episodes - English - Latest episode: 12 days ago - ★★★★★ - 2.8K ratingsThe Shutdown Fullcast, the world's only college football podcast, is only about college football when there are no weirder topics available. However, there are not many topics weirder than college football. Hosted by Spencer Hall, Jason Kirk, and friends.
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Episodes
40 for 40: Early Bowls and Cheap Insect Protein
December 15, 2021 21:15 - 1 hourHolly, Jason, Ryan, and Spencer speedrun the early slate of bowls, including answering important questions like: 1. Which sponsors can be milled into a #nutritious #paste? 2. Why is Pac-12 champion BYU playing UAB in Shreveport? 3. What bowl game matchup sounds most like a super racist Supreme Court case? 4. Will San Diego State win despite a determination to do absolutely nothing but punt? 5. Gasparilla Bowl? (SOURCE????) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit ...
ANTIOCH, THE BIRTHDAY SPIDER
December 08, 2021 23:06 - 1 hourWelcome to Gooch Week, that liminal space between conference championships and bowl games, peppered here and there by Army/Navy, FCS playoffs, and other sundry entertainments. We are here to craft a sprawling and terrifying narrative around the mothballed Showbiz Pizza robot known only as Antioch, The Birthday Spider. Sleep tight! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Rolling Dice To Fill Every Open College Football Coaching Gig
December 01, 2021 20:12 - 1 hourCan we roll dice in order to fill not just the Oklahoma and Notre Dame jobs, but every single open head coaching job in FBS? (The answer: Yes, but it might end up with Lane Kiffin coaching at a genuinely shocking destination.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Advice Show III: Return of the Advice
November 24, 2021 20:01 - 1 hourThe Advice Show Trilogy comes to a thunderous end with THE RETURN OF THE ADVICE, with perfect answers including: The Sims being a deadly accurate portrayal of life and social media A game of "Actual Country Music Title versus AI-Generated Country Music Title" Waiting for enlightenment at Waffle House A review of midlife crisis vehicles A discussion of history's most infamous cesspool disaster LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE SO WE CAN FEED OUR CHILDREN BECKONY AND LEON Learn more about your a...
THANKSGIVING ADVICE FOR 2021 (Or, You Had Me At "Cool Whip And Pudding Mix")
November 17, 2021 22:53 - 1 hourThe intrepid crew of the good ship Fullcast are joined by Michael Felder and Emily Kirk for a series of loud arguments concerning Thanksgiving and the celebration thereof. POINTS OF COMBAT INCLUDE: What is the correct Thanksgiving meat? Which holidays are best for greens? Is pecan pie trash? Is chess pie trash? Casseroles: why are they? Whose family makes the worst macaroni? PLUS: Ryan makes a devastating threat against Spencer's dinner table that ends in a harrowing cliffhanger Visi...
Giving Tuesday (or alternately: The Advice Episode)
November 10, 2021 18:52 - 1 hourOn what we like to call #GivingTuesday, the Fullcast crew opened the floor for those seeking advice. On the way to solving all of our reader's life problems we invented the Georgia Divorce Ranch, Cryptocurrency for Kids, and the world's dankest roulette wheel. Put all of your listening dollars on 69, and subscribe and thrive. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Be Someone's Emotional Support Monkey Today
November 03, 2021 16:46 - 1 hourTo celebrate the advent of November and crunch time in college football, we spend all but thirty seconds of this episode discussing the trials and tribulations of owning and properly caring for an emotional support monkey. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
DESERT ISLAND VIDEO GAMES DRAFT
October 27, 2021 17:44 - 1 hourThe intrepid crew of the good spaceship Shutdown Fullcast takes a mid-season break from their ceaseless analysis of college football to stage a mock draft of video game franchises you'd take to a desert island. Backs are stabbed over Dr. Mario! Fronts are stabbed over Zelda! Ryan does a pretty great Wave Race voice! And stalwart Cap'n Surber reveals unexplored depths of competitive energy around a Belgian mountain range ... but which one?? As always, visit sunny preownedairboats.com Lea...
Hey football recruit, do you like ice storms and smooth jazz?
October 20, 2021 18:04 - 1 hourOn this episode, we have guest Michael Felder from Hand in the Dirt to discuss the marvels of Arkansas QB KJ Jefferson, going to the movies around retirement home schedules, how the wedge salad is "The Bloomin' Onion of healthy foods," the terror of the fade route, and Spencer tries to convince everyone the best job in college football involves the alma mater of the most successful vampire fiction author of all time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
What's the dumbest fight you've ever witnessed?
October 13, 2021 17:46 - 1 hourWe talk about the stupidest fights we've ever seen. Then, we review a simply incredible list of reader submitted fights including: --Soldiers staging a multi-room brawl over a ham sandwich --Tussling over the rules of...hacky-sack? --A man fighting for his right to eat old beef There's also a discussion of how to license mobile hot tubs, what Mike and the Mad Dog would have made of League of Their Own, and we figure out which school is Satanic Hogwarts with a skate park. Learn more abo...
You Can't Fry Time
October 06, 2021 19:36 - 1 hourThis week the Fullcast discusses trading Florida for Italy, why Big Tex should be burned down every year at Texas/OU, discusses how potatoes are a more desirable commodity than time, looks at how hard Arkansas and Ole Miss will try way too hard to make something happen this weekend, and we beg everyone to please stop putting Arizona in the cart. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
UNDUE DILIGENCE: The Internet’s Only College Football And Financial Advice Podcast
September 29, 2021 20:43 - 1 hourThe thrilling conclusion to our Summer Stonks Challenge We get a pretty long way into the show before we realize we’re creating a financial crime … or is it a mutual fund?? Jason and Holly go on a heist, leaving Ryan and Spencer to preview Week 5 Does anybody want to be our CFO? Jail time all but guaranteed Please visit sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Taco Bell Will Help You Murder The Concept of Morning
September 22, 2021 18:32 - 1 hourThe crew discusses UConn-Vanderbilt, one of the most attendable* games of this season before moving on to the important stuff: a meticulous and painstaking guide to regional fast food ordering, which winds up angering our beloved producer more than anything else we've ever said on this show. *Unless you're a 12-foot skeleton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
University of Same Coaches
September 15, 2021 17:47 - 1 hourThe gang invents an insurance company Step right up to the USC coaching search carousel! Does that horse have Pat Haden's face? Mind your own business! Jordan Battle, hail and farewell A lot of background screaming, but for a good reason this time There's also a ton of football talk in this episode, we don't feel great about that either Visit sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Welcome to Rapplebee's
September 08, 2021 21:31 - 1 hourWe made Ryan watch the Applebee's commercial Spencer does charades, on a podcast Titanic is a movie about a thriving lady who rids herself of a worthless man We have re-declared war on England, this is largely unrelated to Titanic All of this happens before the 20-minute mark Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
A Happy Scott Frost Day To All Who Celebrate
September 01, 2021 14:18 - 1 hourBret Bielema has a little Drax in him. Don’t make us like you, Bert. A sharp detour through Atlanta’s Dudes Rock! House Some grudging anticipation of Week 1! Did you know there’s football tonight?? An announcement about the future of the Fullcast! Visit sunny preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
SCHOOL DISASTERS
August 25, 2021 15:49 - 1 hourIt's the back-to-school special edition of our beloved Disasters series, which runs for less than one minute before you get Spencer saying "I think they thought I was dead" A loving retelling of a piece of Jason lore known to true Fullcasteers as "The Ozymandias Incident" A haunting ghost story from Surber about a phantom dildo Visit sunny preownedairboats.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
2021 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF PREVIEW
August 18, 2021 14:46 - 1 hourNotes: The gang picks their preseason top four college football teams. What do you mean, “This sounds like a trap”? Look, just get through Spencer’s alarming affection for Tim Tebow and we promise there’s jokes on the other side. Visit sunny preownedairboats.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Ritual Coaches’ Poll Slaughter
August 11, 2021 23:21 - 1 hourThe Coaches Poll is out! Marshall and Florida State are made rivals by it! Is there an NFL washout hiding in the staff ranks at your school? You sure about that? The gang weathers a rare attack of NFL Dean Terror Holly invents Clemson Denial Jason plays film critic! This week: OLD BEACH, a movie Buy stuff with our faces on it at preownedairboats.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
SEC CIVIL WAR, POD PEOPLE EDITION
August 04, 2021 18:12 - 1 hourHOTTY PODDY, Y'ALL. We revisit a beloved classic Fullcast format, and game out what might happen if (when) the newly expanded SEC goes to war … with itself. Jason is our Dan Carlin Dungeonmaster, as always. Naturally, this all leads to a number of gumbo arguments. Featuring a surprise Split Zone Duo guest! Don't worry, it's not Godfrey. The whole gang agrees on something for the first time in show history. We have had another online commerce incident. Still not Ryan's fault!! NEW BUSINES...
2021 D-I CONFERENCE REALIGNMENT DRAFT
July 29, 2021 17:07 - 1 hour- We made a bunch of new conferences, and got rid of all the other schools, you are welcome. - This is a lot of work, so we brought in two (2) NEW guest conference commissioners. - Because we had company, the episode suffers a massive audio failure halfway through. - A new musical instrument joins the show! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
LIVE FROM SEC MEDIA DAYS (TECHNICALLY THIS IS TRUE)
July 21, 2021 19:42 - 1 hourWe answer YOUR questions at* SEC Media Days! *Surber’s in Hoover, it counts! Invented in this episode: ARBY’S CHURCH! Also invented in this episode: JEANS OLYMPICS! A Ginuwine-themed detour that is NOT about Pony! We celebrate the Fullcat’s birthday! A harrowing tale from our first online store that was NOT our fault! Sorry, Carol! A Sisqo story from 2017! Mark Stoops Take Us To A Steakhouse Challenge! Please rate and review our college football podcast Learn mor...
Fullfast & Furious
July 14, 2021 19:19 - 1 hourIt's our Fast Saga episode, and you know what that means: Ryan and Surber have finally seen all the movies. And you know what THAT means: This is war. Brother against brother. Family against family. John Cena on a ten-minute zipline is observed. Canon is established. Jason Statham is still not welcome at the cookout #Justice4Han #notmyJason Introducing Middle South Airlines! Look, just go with it. Also introducing the Fullcast store! Visit preownedairboats.com for all your worldly needs. L...
The NCAA Name/Image/Likeness Episode: Now Entering Hell’s Cheesecake Factory
July 08, 2021 01:32 - 1 hourHowever too long you think the discussion of the plot of the 2012 movie “Battleship” based on the game by Hasbro might be, please know that we spared you from at least 20 additional minutes of arguing over it NEW INVENTIONS OCCURRING IN THIS EPISODE: a system of criminal justice based entirely in Costco, yet another cryptocurrency, and a Methodists-only form of martial arts This is also the SEC MEDIA DAYS PREVIEW episode; now let’s all welcome Nick Saban to the stage with an accordion flash...
YOUR BOLD FOOTBALL PREDICTIONS FOR 2021
June 30, 2021 18:06 - 1 hourWe asked for bold predictions for the upcoming college football season, and you answered with hammers. So stunned were we by the certainty of these prophecies that we ended up doing several things we’re not used to in this episode, like “talking about college football“ and “carefully parsing Arkansas‘s schedule”. Also, Spencer has mixed up NIL and NLI so many times that we’re all starting to do it too. Sorry!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
$75 Million for Zero Wins
June 22, 2021 15:49 - 1 hour--We discuss the NCAA getting shut out in the national title game of legal cases --No really, it's hilarious, they got destroyed --Worse, they asked to be destroyed, thinking they would win! --And it only cost them $75 million to lose every case! --THEY MADE BRETT KAVANAUGH SUGGEST A UNION --Some light discussion of whether Captain America brought oral sex to the United States --A review of the Daddingest Things --Jason begins a ten year campaign to convince his wife to live in a van --S...
2022 College Football Playoff Expansion: The Shutdown Fullcast Guide
June 15, 2021 13:17 - 1 hour- It’s a time of great upheaval and change in our fair sport, and we responded the best way we know how: By talking for half an hour about the nerve center, the beating heart of the game. That’s right: It’s the New York City mayoral race. Please rate and review our college football podcast. - who is VANILLA PRIME?? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
BOLD SPACE TAKES
June 08, 2021 19:52 - 1 hour- It’s Ryan’s birthday and we got him a new nickname! - The rest of the episode is devoted to YOUR spiciest space takes! - Introducing the Mojo Grill Fugue, the hot new psychological state that’s sweeping the greater Tampa area! - Tell Arizona Iced Tea to sponsor our podcast! Or Tang! The drink of astronauts! We would love a Cheerwine, thanks for asking! - TELL THEM. - #KeepMarsMoist Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
100 Gears Of Kongitude
June 01, 2021 17:05 - 1 hourState mottos, ranked, PLUS: Spencer is convinced there is a “weird way“ to take off a shirt Ryan wears a tank top! Which beloved Louis Sachar character is revealed to be Jason? Holly makes herself sick during the show in an entirely new way How to sneak into Australia with an American passport Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
WEDDING DISASTERS
May 25, 2021 20:06 - 1 hourIf you are attending somebody’s fourth wedding or higher, that person’s family fucked up! When is the optimal time on a wedding day to fight the clergy? If your wedding is written up in the New York Post, you fucked up! Why cargo shorts are the ideal wedding attire Which former Fullcast guest turned the Designing Women house into a Superfund site? When to confess your love for the bride or groom and then join the Marines! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Two Nights at the Hell-agio
May 18, 2021 20:02 - 1 hourTopics of note this week include: 1. The Pac-12 turns itself into an enormous casino 2. What the exact age you became a person was 3. How many hours precisely one can spend in Las Vegas before the sadness sets in 4. Which team should actually get to play home games in The Rose Bowl 5. Nick Saban wants skinnier hosses Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Bad Day To Be A Balloon Boy
May 11, 2021 18:25 - 1 hour- This week, we rank college football powers and would-be powers by potential endorsement deals via each school’s most famous booster! - Spencer is almost positive he knows the difference between NLI and NIL, but that knowledge is definitely not apparent in this episode! - Did you know it’s legal to shoot down hot-air balloons in Kansas on one day each year? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Click Here To Read White Castle’s Response To Covid-19
May 04, 2021 18:57 - 59 minutes- Previously! On the Shutdown Fullcast! No small amount of time is spent reviewing last week’s episode! - Spencer refuses to bring back Prince! Shame on him! - Some innovative new draft language, measured in food-pounds, is explored Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
2021 NFL DRAFT PREVIEW AND KARAOKE DONNYBROOK
April 28, 2021 15:01 - 1 hourTrevor Lawrence! Rondale Moore! Najee Harris! Mac Jones?? PLUS: How the Thong Song exemplifies Sisqo’s personal duel with the Lord! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
You Tell That Bobcat To Stop Emailing My Wife
April 20, 2021 19:30 - 1 hour- Ryan has a very cool solution for Spencer’s “I owe the internet video of me drinking 300 beers” that Spencer just barrels past - A #TwoAmericas law enforcement story introduces God’s secret archangel, Cajun Damon - A goodish number of wildlife updates - Hey, the Charity Bowl’s over, we have a lot of people to thank and are going to forget at least half of them. We’re very tired! You did this to us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
#CHARITIBUNDIBOWL BONUS EPISODE feat. The Sklar Brothers
April 20, 2021 13:39 - 49 minutesMichigan won the charity bowl, again, and Spencer and Holly bring Randy and Jason Sklar on to discuss important Wolverine matters. Because this is the Fullcast, this turns out to mean “the episode is mostly about Grey’s Anatomy.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
THE SMOOTH EPISODE (NOT IN A SEXY WAY)
April 13, 2021 16:45 - 1 hour- There is no describing this episode. Look, just play it. You’ll get there. - Alternate title was going to be THE TICK WAR EPISODE - The LEAST upsetting voice in this episode is Spencer’s Joe Paterno, if that tells you anything - In a shocking revelation, at least one member of this podcast thinks it used to be “too easy to obtain dynamite in this country”! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Come On Down To Clemson Church
April 06, 2021 18:08 - 1 hourWhen you think about it, we’re all just running downhill for Jesus Second Easter of quarantine, reviewed (bad!) Presidents’ Days of the future, improved Ryan invites the ire of nautical cocaine traffickers worldwide, for business purposes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
A Space Elevator In Jonesboro, Arkansas
March 30, 2021 20:38 - 1 hour• How much y’all reckon it would cost to just buy a football program outright? • Short on new can’t-miss business ideas this week, but almost positive we’re the first media outlet to suggest militarizing rodeo clowns • Who are you, “officer," to tell us we “cannot” jetski through the Suez Canal • Ryan invents a game that reveals just how easy Spencer would be to steal from • There are manatee noises! It’s not cute!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
The Snyder Cut
March 23, 2021 18:18 - 1 hourJason, Spencer, Holly, and Ryan break down early-round action in the 2021 NCAA men’s and women’s basketball tournaments. Like and subscribe to our college football podcast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
MARITIME DISASTERS
March 17, 2021 01:25 - 1 hourPlease welcome Skylab Carl, Tequila Derek, and Judge Catfish Which tiger-affiliated school is the least equipped to handle rapidly moving water? Spencer fights against the strictures of both biology and physics, again Thrill to Ryan’s tale of Florida’s sovereign sinkhole! A robust debate: What is the perfect size of bird to fight? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Mortification of the Fisch
March 11, 2021 13:00 - 1 hourImagining the world’s first gig economy coal mine! See beautiful Hispaniola, by crate! Spencer operates the annual coaching carousel quiz and it turns out Wakeyleaks has leaked entirely out of our skulls SOME SORT OF BUTCH JONES WORMHOLE OCCURS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
I WANT THE HOPE DIAMOND OF CHICKEN SANDWICHES (or, CHICKEN ORB)
March 09, 2021 22:02 - 1 hour- Hey y’all, Les Miles got fired in the middle of this show, and we pivoted about as adeptly as you might expect. - Which American fast food chain serves a CHICKEN SANDWICH AS A SIDE ITEM AT BREAKFAST, but NOT IN AMERICA? - What color y’all reckon Prince Philip’s blood is? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
The Divine Right Of Smoothie Kings
March 04, 2021 14:14 - 58 minutesYou’re probably not going to play professional football, so how should you decide where to attend college? Our academic survey can tell you! The “Which school has the most convenient parking" answers won’t surprise you; the “Which school has the best food" answers definitely will! Also covered: The crucial categories of “waterslide availability" and “places to take a nap in public" Eat shit, US News & World Report The University of Texas’s clutch of Panera-level fascist boosters don’t de...
“Whatcha doin’ in Bahrain, Pastor?”
March 02, 2021 17:59 - 1 hourStop asking us if it’s Blood Week every time a ranked team loses, you’ll know when it’s Blood Week, this applies to FCS ball too Holy shit that was an amazingly bloody Blood Week of FCS ball even by our own hemoglobin-happy standards Spencer is trying to get us into F1 Why have none of y’all ever informed us that “international go-karting” was an available career option Does anybody know how to determine if we have any remaining international go-karting eligibility Learn more about yo...
“Speaking words of wisdom, daiquiri"
February 25, 2021 21:48 - 1 hour- Hey y’all, it’s the FCS draft episode, where we overcome our current general disdain for sports to pick spring football teams! - Featuring a brief but violent detour into the Boise State-Idaho rivalry! - Our collective safari into perfecting our Maine accents continues? - Never admit what is or isn’t gumbo on the internet. - “Spencer, I have a money question" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
VORB (Value Over Replacement Bear)
February 24, 2021 03:52 - 54 minutes- It’s our advanced sports analytics episode! How advanced? Advanced past what? Mind your own business! - What are we using our film review skills for? Breaking down that Oklahoma bathroom fight, are you new here? - As a team, we feel pretty confident we could perform a number of basic medical procedures in the field. Listen along to find out which! - Adding to the ever-expanding roster of basic concepts Spencer has no grasp of, we can now add “sitcoms” and “human bones” - Dabo will neve...
The Shape of Success
February 16, 2021 19:56 - 1 hour--Can't sleep, must think about Baconator --an ode to the most essential Panda Express on the planet --All Gus Malzahn does is cash checks he will never spend --Everyone belongs to one of four human tribes: The Zappers, Wild Aces, Beasts, or Glacier Boyz --Holly challenges us to work onside kicks into every sport --YE ATE ME DART --Spencer just wants to steal horses Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
DYNASTY TIME
February 11, 2021 14:12 - 1 hour--Why is Ben Franklin smiling on the 100 bill? Because he's pantsless --NCAA FOOTBALL IS BACK! (Again. Not more than it was. On the way? BACK.) --Ryan on why Congress should pass legislation to bring back Banjo and Kazooie --A brief diversion into a musical about Aaron Burr slapping Alexander Hamilton to death --Which schools in the new NCAA video game that should be inherently corrupt --The challenge of putting fake facilities in the game more absurd than the real ones --Did you know Au...
Hell is feeding five Gronkowskis
February 09, 2021 21:28 - 52 minutes--Spencer is described by his co-workers as "a dog with a plunger" --Play the game "EPL name or NFL Assistant" --Jason demands that you LEARN. FOOTBALL. --Tom Brady, the ultimate "let's get a game-winning FG" QB ever --An alternate history where Mike Vick steals whale sharks from the GA Aquarium --We turn Kirby Smart into a Turkish soccer team --Imagining the living hell of raising five Gronkowskis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices