Misva #580: Not to Remarry One’s Divorcee if She Had Been Married in the Interim

The Torah commands in Parashat Ki-Teseh (Debarim 24:4) that if a woman remarries after getting divorced, and her second husband then dies or divorces her, her first husband may not marry her a second time. Even though she is no longer married to the second husband, nevertheless, the first husband may not marry her again. A husband may remarry his wife whom he had divorced if she had not married someone else in the interim, but if she had married in the interim, then the first husband may never marry her again. This prohibition applies only if the woman got married to another man, or was Halachically betrothed to a different man. If, however, she had a relationship with another man without marrying him, then the first husband may remarry her. The Sefer Ha’hinuch explains that the Torah issued this prohibition to protect against immoral conduct. If it were permissible to remarry one’s divorcee who had married someone else in the interim, men would be able to “trade” their wives, by divorcing their wives, exchanging them, and then remarrying them the next day. In a sense, people would have a permissible way of committing adultery. The Torah therefore forbade remarrying one’s wife after she had married somebody else in the interim. We are to distance ourselves from all forms of immoral conduct, even those which could be considered technically permissible. The Sefer Ha’hinuch’s understanding of this prohibition shows us the Torah’s emphasis on distancing ourselves from impropriety, even beyond that which is actually forbidden. This command applies in all times and places. Although it is directed primarily to the husband, the woman is also included in this command. The Ramban maintained that this command is also the source of the law forbidding marital intimacy after a wife had an adulterous relationship. Even though the husband and wife are still married until the Get is delivered, intimacy becomes forbidden once the wife is unfaithful. The Rabbis of the Mussar movement noted that this prohibition appears to call into question our relationship with Hashem. Numerous verses in the Nebi’im (prophets) liken our relationship with G-d to a marriage, and our nation’s worship of foreign deities to a “marriage” to those pagan gods. And, the Nebi’im describe the Hurban (destruction) as G-d’s “divorce” of Am Yisrael. If, indeed, G-d had “divorced” our ancestors, and they “married” other deities through their foreign worship, then it would seem that G-d can then never “marry” us again. If so, then how can we ever be redeemed, once we have “married” foreign gods after being “divorced” by G-d? The Rabbis of Mussar answer that if a man divorced his wife, and at some later point it is discovered that the divorce was not Halachically valid, then he may bring the wife back even if she had married someone else in the interim. Since the divorce was invalid, she is considered to have been married to the first husband all throughout the interim period. Proper Teshuba (repentance) has the effect of retroactively reversing the sin, such that it is considered to never have occurred. Therefore, Hashem’s “divorce” of Am Yisrael is retroactively undone, like a divorce which was discovered to have been invalid. Through repentance, then, we are able to be brought back to Hashem, as it in essence “invalidates” the “divorce” which He had given us.